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Hard at goal/10 if you think I’m cute/ PVT ON!!! [648 tokens remaining]
Date: November 28, 2022
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I don't think sexuality matters when it comes to things like this, you can't dismiss things your partner finds inappropriate just because he is gay. I understand somewhat feeling he shouldn't have to tell you, because to me at least its' logical not to behave that way regardless of sexuality, however I would have made my boundary clear the first time it was crossed unlike your boyfriend. He is at fault for not making that clear.
Your future? You are miserable NOW. He is mean NOW. I’m scared for the cats! “Totally committed” just sounds like you will tolerate abuse. And you could get pregnant and be tied to him for 18 years! The kitten he brought home feels like a warning that he wants to keep you tied together and has no problem dragging the innocent in to do that. You stay out of concern for the kitty. He “wonders” if the first cat will die tonight? What a totally bizarre,frightening comment.
GET OUT NOW!
Female friend sounds fine, but I personally would really hate his icky comments about it. Call him out on that if you want
Okay, I understand. But are you saying I should give it to him early because I’m “letting” him steal?
TERRIBLE idea. If you’re smart, you’ll both stay far away from each other.
Chill out it's just an anime ? they used to hold hands too do you think about that excessively as well
Thats the thing though. She claims to be one of those people who literally does not care. But i think youre right when you say if I wasnt at least normal looking, I wouldnt have had a shot. To be fair she has called me cute and attractive in the past, its just when we have a serious conversation as we did she says she does not care about looks whatsoever.
Thats a really good analogy. While this hasn't made me feel like I should leave her obv, it has made me feel like “well maybe I should take my appearance to someone who appreciates it.”
I understand that the situation is not OPs doing, but OPs actions in response are the only thing being debated here.
Pointing out that if the friend wasn't irresponsible this wouldn't be an issue is an entirely irrelevant point because that's already happened and we're only discussing “where to from here?”
Well…do you want someone who'll treat you with respect and be loyal, like a decent man would do, or do you want to be his “end game” bang maid that's just disposable to him?
Turn him in, get your power back, do it for you and for his future victims that you can save from his predatory behavior.
Tell them you’re downsizing and it’s a small party for the friends who have a issue with it. You don’t owe them anything
But why did it affect him so much? He couldn't study, he couldn't keep her on his whatsapp, whenever he saw her, his face changed into sadness and when she wanted to fix things, he followed her around like a puppy and accepted her wishes.
probably because, to him, he's already gotten what he wanted. Some people suck like that.
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I was in therapy before but it's not something I can afford right now but I do agree, I can look at it objectively and see that there are lots of issues there. I think part of the problem is that I have a similar upbringing and experiences to a lot of the individuals I work with so at times I feel I can relate more to them than to my co-workers. I think maybe I am just too similar to them to work in that sort of role right now.
He’s abusing and he’s trying to break you down to abuse you some more: there’s nothing wrong with your body. Dump him
That sounds like she was certain before you questioned her certainty. When people push back against me, even if I’m pretty sure I’m right, I often get nervous and back down. Regardless, even if she wasn’t 100% certain, she was more certain than you were.
Do you believe that your girlfriend is an equal with you? If you truly believe that she is your equal, then why do you question her certainty? If you are uncertain of something that she seems certain of, why wouldn’t you defer to her judgment? Or do you truly believe that you are smarter and more capable than she is? She feels like you don’t see her as your equal, and once she decides this for herself, if she has any self respect, she will leave you.
I spent two and a half years in a relationship with someone who argued with me at every turn and clearly thought his knowledge bank and opinions were superior to mine. It did a number on my confidence and self esteem and even four years later, I sometimes still hear his voice in my head berating me. Do you want to be that kind of man?
My eyes went WIDE reading 20k for all that…for a house ALONE, ANYWHERE in the country, that would be utterly fucking insane, in the best way. I can’t imagine a serious house that isn’t six digits in price in this day.
Then you pointed out that OP didn’t even have to pay rent for years and…yeah. I know we’re not even in that sub right now but YTA OP.
She knows dude. She knows.
End it. This is not healthy.
Yeah brother, not everyone has good intentions and she’s clearly stated more than enough to break trust permanently. Let go of the bad to make room for the good.
And in the meantime steer clear of the shopping malls ok ?
If you have to beg a man for him to exhibit accountability….. he’s not a man to be with.
Drop the rope on this guy, seriously.
Women, please for the love of god, raise your standards and throw these guys on their ass. You deserve so much more than begging for the bare fucking minimum.
Oh yea this is crazy town!
To be more specific, she lacks a sense of proportionality.
Actually, yes, for normal people 3 cats is a crazy number to have.
But if you are a crazy cat person, maybe not?
What is ick?
Someone who is unwilling to deal with potential consequences is not someone who should be having sex.
What a shitty take.
Both
Nope, disagree.
A man and woman should EQUALLY make the effort to see each other. This is 2023 is it not?
? classic!!
Once a week – once every two weeks.
Easier solution. Break up with him and tell him to get his shit together. Once he does, then you can rekindle the relationship.
Thank you. I greatly appreciate it
Went from Houston, Texas to the armpit of nowhere New Mexico lol. My final high school didn't even have an art teacher my senior year.
I am not transphobia at all, with that said this would not be ok with me at all. The only reason being it will cause actual issues with breastfeeding. It can be a very delicate balance for baby and for you. For baby this may very well cause him to have nipple confusion. As funny as that sounds it is indeed real! I’ve breastfed two kids and this is just one of many issues you may face. I’m sorry she is feeling dysmorphia but this is not about her at all. This is about baby
It sounds like she could have BPD, and this will emotionally and physically drain you
Are you constantly having to reassure her? Do you bring up a small issue you have and she gets extremely angry with you for being upset?
She is assaulting you and it will only get worse, all these things need to be reported because if the police get involved ….they're gonna be looking straight at you, not her.
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My bf is American and I am English. We pronounce things differently. If he pronounces words differently, I assume it’s because it’s an American way of pronouncing things, but if I pronounce a word differently, he assumes I’m wrong and corrects me. He kept correcting me and it made me question my own intelligence, so I google how to pronounce a specific word and it ends up being just a difference between UK Vs USA pronunciation. It drives me crazy so I told him to stop assuming I’m wrong and make me question my intelligence.
Just today we were talking about methane. I pronounced it MEETHANE and he said it’s not pronounced MEETHANE is meHTHANE. It made me question my intelligence so I googled it and knew it was a difference (again) between UK Vs USA pronunciation. It just makes me so angry because he’s being patronising when he’s trying to correct me when he is wrong. If he wanted someone to pronounce things in an American way, he should be with an american and not a Brit.
How do I handle this? I’ve told him time and time again to stop trying to ‘correct’ me when he’s wrong when he tries since it’s a UK USA pronunciation difference, and I pointed out that in fact, I should be the one correcting him since English is from England. It just makes me feel sad that he assumes I’m stupid instead of just assuming it could be a pronunciation difference. How do I handle this? Thanks!
Find better friends.
The taking a shot at you being confident is a serious red flag.
Nope, she said she is willing to have kids for you. That is not a good thing, then it becomes a weapon. Every time you two fight, she can say “well I had kidd for you, you can do this or that for me”
And who's gonna suffer most in the end is the kids one day they would learn their mother only had them to keep a man. Is that seriously the life you wanna online.?
Bloody hell I wish I was a size 14 nevermind a 10-12
Your man sounds delusional about the weight thing. I am disappointed in him.
Sending you all the good vibes I can, I have no advice to offer, just hoping you find what you need and online a wonderful life ❤️
Imo, the conversation is played out.
I wish people would be more respectful and adult about shit.
If we are hanging out regularly, having sex, if I’m buying you lunch or taking you on dates.
Straight up I’m not fucking anyone else.
This world has become so loose morally. Just fuck and fuck and fuck until we have “the conversation”
Like what about just being normal and considerate to people putting effort into you?
Big vent there.
Just apologize for hurting his feelings, let him know you are there for him now. And everyone be better to each other in general lol.
After a month
Help each other find a date? This is a very complicated situation. Just don’t catch feelings?
nah. that's just petty.
In theory yes… in execution, no.
The way this was handled was going to generate resentment.
But if they break up, there may be a day (years from now) where she understands what you did.
is this original? I swear I’ve read this same exact thing on Reddit two or three times over the last few years.
Then after more arguing she said that was an old video of her from college and that I was being aggressive and that she would never cheat.
Did you bring up the cheating or did she do that by herself?
I asked why the video was in her recent videos (1 week ago) and she said she was clearing out old photos and found that and was going to delete it.
This sounds like a load of bullshit. She was going to delete it, but she didn't delete it. Why?
Then she said I was being paranoid and unreasonable.
Did she elaborate why she said that about you? Because it doesn't sound like you did have an open and honest conversation about this. And that is the biggest red flag that I see.
her whole vibe was off last night and now it’s making me paranoid about some weird tiny things that have been happening recently.
That is your subconcious warning you that something fishy is going on. Also, breaking up with your girlfriend doesn't require a valid reason which is tested in a court of law.
I think you have enough reason to just say “Fuck this shit, I'm out of here!”. Or you could try talking to her again. Ask her directly if she will show you the video's metadata.
I actually don't think you should bring it up at all. They know exactly what they are doing and if you ask about it, they will gaslight you and tell you that you're imagining it, are 'too sensitive' or some other bullshit.
Look at it this way, the last thing you want is to let people like this be close to you. So by showing you this side of them, they fired warning shots and raised the red flag and now you know to steer clear of them as much as possible. Do not buy into their bullshit. By that I mean, recognize that there is something amiss within them that is making them behave this way and they enjoy attempting to hurt you or bring you down so don't give them the satisfaction.
Be polite and cheery but do not start conversations or attempt to unless it's absolutely necessary. Wear headphones, when you're out of your room and stay out of the apartment or in your room as much as you possibly can. If they speak to you, respond cheerily, keep the conversation as short as possible. Always be civil and cheery with them. You just need to get through until the end of this term (I assume?) or the end of your lease and then you can move on.
If they try to confront you about you not trying to be friendly with them or something (which they almost certainly will. It's kind of the MO with girls like this. Bait you and then gaslight you and if you can't be baited, claim that you're the one causing problems. When they try this: “Oh gosh, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm always polite and civil with you” “Oh, I'm just so busy with my studies and I have some other things going on, I'm sure you understand” “Hmmm, I hadn't noticed to be honest. I'm really preoccupied these days. Anyway, I better get back to it!”
If your post history is the same guy (about 9 months ago) you said he punched you, choked you with a belt and walked you like a dog with the belt around your neck when you were upset with him flirting with other women. Then you need to get to someplace safe, away from him. He’s going to hurt you again or he will kill you. It’s just a matter of time. Please contact your family or friends to get you out of there.
My father was one of the most intelligent and educated man I have ever known and he just loved himself some fluffy feel good hallmark movies. It's your free time and if you want to read romance novels then go for it.
Your different hobbies is not what makes you and your BF incompatible. It's him being a judgmental, pretentious snob that does.
This. If OP does this all i can say is… another one bites the dust!
He was probably looking for a way out.
Divorce. Life is too short to waste it on a husband who doesn't care about pleasing you.
What do you mean by hasn't been herself?
There's everything wrong with OP.
She wants her dad to feel as miserable and unhealthy as she does
Going for divorce. No. That from what context we have seems a little too far. But you certainly need to let him know and reinforce that imitating violence of this kind isn't a joke or passive act of demonstration to you. It's personal. And it's valid to have that reaction, and it's not silly or anything. Divorce after this without repeated discussion is a jump.
Please have discussions with him about respect and boundaries. If he repeatedly breaks them, then let him know what he's done and if he shows no real willingness to change then leave that mf.
After reading your comments, it sounds like he’s just manipulating you. If this only happens around you, he’s making shit up to get out of doing things he doesn’t want. If you really like him, you can talk to him and put your foot down, but he’d probably cry about that too.
When you see your HF has a dating app on her phone, the whole “no snooping thing goes out the window and your security in the relationship takes priority.
If I were you, I would look through her phone asap (before she has a chance to delete anything) and see what she’s doing.
Trying to figure that out. Someone refusing to cook as an adult is the brightest red flag, it spreads to other flags.
Your husband is grooming a 20 year old and you want to “overcome it?” The fuck.
He is abusive. He’s been suffocating OP for 8 years. Fucking eight years of this shit. She can’t see her friends without him getting upset about it. He will not allow her a day without him. I’ve been in a situation fairly similar to this (only for 6 months, thank god) and I’ll tell you this: it completely tanks your mental health. He isn’t “just clingy” he’s a master manipulator and he’s only going to escalate, he’s just smart enough to do it in bits so she ”doesn’t know what to think anymore”
Look up emotional abuse.