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Karl & Petry, 34 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Karl & Petry
Date: October 25, 2022
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That's what I got from it too, it was just a load of reasons/excuses as to why she did what did instead of actually owning up to it. Hopefully they get the help they need
The joint account is for food/date nights and sometimes I’ll top up the gas/electric with it if he’s over.
I think it’s that thing about rich people being the tightest, that said his parents gift him a lot of things (ie if we go for dinner he’d expect them to pay and when I offer they’ve never accepted it).
So are you not allowed to use changing rooms either unless you're the only person in there?
Tell him you realised that he has potentially cheated on you hundreds of times in public bathrooms. Who knows how many times other men have caught a glimpse of his dick!
If there's no point to it, stop doing it. You're going out of your way to like these posts even if it's only a small effort, you're choosing to do it. It's gross. You don't have to press like on things you find on the internet, no matter how horny you get.
Most of the people here are women I can't blame the man. That kid, not his and he's stuck supporting a baby for 18 years and giving them a huge chunk of his salary. A man cheating doesn't affect her pocket like her cheating
Because they assume that the person you say is your father regarding your medical history is your biological father. They’re also not going to rock that boat because patient satisfaction is a big deal. Also paternity tests take 4-6 weeks to get back so they’re not going to do shit once the medical emergency actually happens. That’s why knowing who your bio mother and father are ahead of time is important. However, if you do have a generic issue doctors will ask parents to be tested sometimes. There’s been instances where it comes out that a bio dad isn’t the dad once a kid gets sick and medical professionals are asking for gene testing from parents.
My mother was a closed adoption and I have multiple genetic contributing health issues that doctors best guess have to do with her side of the family we don’t have access to. Biological ties matter medically.
Thanks, i know that if she hadnt asked me to help i wouldt force her to let me, she talked with me and asked if i knew something to do or find something, we tend to always talk our problems with each other and try to find solutions. But thanks for the concern (:
Thank you this comment is 10/10 well put together
That’s correct, I think such a blanket scenario as you describe is a very weird opinion, as I think a 29 year old dating an 18 year old is perfectly normal and ok. I did it in college, and even though we didn’t work out, she didn’t go around saying I groomed her. We just didn’t work. 18 and 20 is no big deal at all
You’re leaving too much out and trying to be a victim. It’s sad.
Again, you’re twisting things around in your mind that didn’t happen.
He didn’t choose his colleagues over you. He had plans with you on the 23rd and asked if him going out the 22nd was cool. There was no choice/prioritization on his end. Just because you were free doesn’t mean that you or he should assume that you’re getting together. He didn’t “want to go out with them more”: That’s all in your head.
The other issues do sound problematic. If you asked him to come help you after surgery and he chose to go watch a fight then he’s a jerk and that would be the end for me.
Yes definitely get a case worker and reach out to family. I understand you wound up this way by health reasons which makes what he is doing that much more disgusting IMO.
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I would definitely clarify this with him and have that conversation. I might be a cynic lol but in this circumstance he has plausible deniability. Meaning, if you do find out he’s also seeing other people he can just simply say you guys never had that conversation about exclusivity. Regardless, we are the same age and I feel that’s too old to beat around the bush with someone.
I feel like you are having a cultural difference here. Despite your roots, you are culturally Canadian. They are most certainly not. When you were explaining their shenanigans, I kept feeling very much at home.
A few things that might help you understand:
In Eastern Europe, especially the non-EU part, everyone from the West is seen as filthy rich. The reason for that is that they see the money in purchasing power back home (back home, I could live just fine on 1/10th of my western salary which is barely enough here). When you were being extra generous, they didn't see it as that. They saw it as the minimum of what you could do (because they would have only done the minimum for someone).
Basically killing yourself for your family (including very extended family) is seen as very normal in EE. It is expected. Nobody sees it as something to be thankfull for but as your duty. If you aren't doing absolutely the maximum, you are considered mean and uncaring. But the more you do, the more you are seen as capable of doing, so the less your contribution is valued. Your boss, though, a Canadian, was seen as a nice stranger. Nothing was expected from him. So of course, any tiny thing he does is seen as enormous. Culturally, this makes sense, because when your family sucks you dry, you have little left for strangers. Your friend from the refugee center is no different, except that to her you are the stranger, for now at least.
Psychology. It is neither understood nor respected. It is seen like a scam. And it is extremely needed, since almost everyone is damaged one way or the other (generational trauma, childhood trauma, poverty, political issues, social issues, definitely unhealthy family situations). The problem is that nobody even wants to try going to a psychologist because of the stigma of being either crazy or an idiot who is being taken advantage of. You know what it is about, but they don't. If you were an engineer, they'd be able to see what you do. As a psychologist, you might as well be a magician.
You should cut them off at some point, though. Helping them get situated is one thing, but maintaining them forever is not a solution. And the longer you help them, the less they will understand.
If there's more than 2 bedrooms ask him.if you can rent out the other one to a lodger or roommate. If he's expecting you to pay for half the house, then you should get 50% of the space to do with as you wish.
The purpose of this exercise is to make him realize how ridiculous his request is.
You can put a tag in her car
You’re incompatible. Eventually, when the newness wears off, you’re going to find her boring and probably a little contemptible.
I embarrassed to say I dated a guy who actually bragged he didn’t read books. He wasn’t stupid, but he was an idiot, if you know what I mean.
What’s worse? OP was training to be a professional athlete before this relationship. He has already sacrificed much of his training time, now sleep.
OP, a woman who loves you will actively help you achieve your goals, will be willing to compromise to make sure both your needs are met. Your gf is doing the opposite. She is dismantling your life, making herself your only priority and actively sabotaging your goals and dreams.
You’re so young. Please, please get away from this woman. Surround yourself with people who want good things for you, not just good things from you.
WHAT? Ummmm, I can see asking to not be in the main living area for a night but leave? That’s just bananas.
I think I have stayed because I feel like that is what you do for people you love. It is more out of a sense of duty to be honest. It would be easy if she would just say that she doesn’t care.
That was my biggest mistake. I did not as she typically texted for financial advice and maybe like a merry Christmas and some stuff like how is work going etc. or something. I just would answer the questions to be helpful and did not think too much about it.
I’m getting a lot of creative writing vibes from this one.
I don't understand what your question is. He thinks you'll be hotter if you don't drink. What's confusing about that?
It's not always like this. The situation is… my love language is gift giving. I wanted flowers and little presents…effort..like him taking me on dates. Idk whata going on with him but his investments are stashing cash away. He wants to be rich. Hes only saved up 3 grand. Hes always been poor growing up. And meeting me hes finally learned to make money. I've been crying for years for effort from him. A hand written note…something if you cant provide a bday or xmas present. Eventho I'm measuring. I bought him a brand new ps5. He ordered my present xmas eve. Didnt get here until jan 3. But he said he could wait for his present. I feel spoiled and feel bad BUT I was raised by a man who gave me presents and that's how I feel loved unfortunately. I'm in therapy. And need to stay consistent on my meds… but regardless he doesnt meet my needs or gift giving. no I dont need a sugar daddy I want a man who can meet my needs like I do for him. He may not be able to do it yet or ever. So idk what to do
If you're paying half the cost of buying a house, you need to make sure you are listed as a joint owner.
In general I would say, if you want to get married then propose to him. There's no law that says you have to wait for him to do it.
I mean he's 24, you would hope he matures by the time they have kids when they're older.
I bet it is not related to your look. Just he doesn't like complimenting.
She says it's like she doesn't know how to make her brain find herself attractive.
Her brain is a machine learning engine and 99% of the training has been done on edited, young and photogenic breast.
For what everyone is saying, I need to not judge her for that I think. Everyone says I am in the wrong and I will try to change so I'm not as messed up in the head
I have been married a long time so I usually know what my husband is going to say anyway. If he goes off on a Hogwart's discussion, that is usually only for himself but aimed at me, I smile and say oh yes, I see that. Why make things more difficult than they are?
Howwart's dicussion=something rolling around in the back of his mind that is a bit jumbled about the kids, dogs, weather forecast, anything scheduled, stuff like that…..
Right?
Like sure if you take things out of context and say “she left with a stranger in a foreign country and dodged your calls for hours” it sounds suspicious, but I'm baffled that someone thinks that's enough to end a 1.5 year relationship without even hearing her side. It's like he had no trust in her whatsoever. He just “whoops, she didn't pick up, must be cheating!”
And she is getting such terrible advice about how she “fucked up”.
This was never a topic of discussion for 2.5 years, but she expected me to know. I don’t care for porn I just though it was socially acceptable among most so I didn’t ask that’s my mistake. But she feels disgusted, she doesn’t understand why I use porn and think I’m looking for something else but it wasn’t that at all. I don’t care for it so I’ll drop it but she can’t seem to figure out if she wants to stay with me
This. Your sister isn’t at fault here. She’s on your team.
I thought it was your 3 year old kid roasting you.. holy title, its better that way maybe :/
Egg Jactly !
You do know theres a big big big chance he will leave you. So prepare for that after telling him immediately. And as some people have already commented, get tested.
Them commenting every day is nowhere near as weird as you following them around and commenting this like 7 times under their different replies.
You're the creep here, bud.
I agree with others who say that you need to nip this marriage in the bud and move on. A divorce should be very simple so early in your marriage.
You can also look into an marriage annulment. In most states your situation would not qualify for an annulment, but it's worth checking your state's laws to see if the lie and misrepresentation about cheating would suffice.
No one is going to read this
Do you even love her? Because this is abusive behavior. Gaslighting, making her a hot topic at work, messing with her mental health and I don't what else you haven't mentioned. This is not how you treat someone you say you love. You purposely vent to someone you know will spread it around the office, then gaslight her to the point of messing with her mental health… Leave her alone already
Secrets?
Yes.
Good luck
This is all unbelievable, in that I do not believe it
It's okay to feel things. I don't think “not giving a shit” is really a healthy goal here? It's a complex balance to strike.
But work with him here. You ARE worth his love and attention, and together you two can work to identify the things that drive you to feel like you are in any way lesser becuase of what's going on here. You are worth it.
I second (fifth? idk) this comment, as a fellow ADHD diagnosed individual
ALSO
the “Usual problems” you list in the post are exactly the signs that this is true, OP.
“he finishes and afterwards lacks the drive to do anything for me, he struggles to finish me off and I get awkward and tell him it's fine for him to just finish without me (my fault, I know). Yknow the usual shit.”
Yeah so…
While these problems are unfortunately common, this is not the “usual shit” and shouldn't be so easily dismissed.
These are issues, and all of them point to lack of honest communication in bed mixed with a selfish lover (your bf) which… I don't have to tell you is a recipe for a pretty unsatisfying bedroom life.
These things tell me that his ADHD has nothing to do with your lack of satisfaction in the bedroom, it's just a convenient excuse for him to continue being a selfish, lazy lover and not put in the effort required to satisfy you.
This is not okay.
“I can see the lights go out in his brain when what we're doing doesn't revolve around his stimulation”
Hopefully this sentence activates the light in your brain that will help you see that he's being a selfish ass and that you deserve a partner who cares as much about your satisfaction as their own, if not more.
TL;DR = we are taking a break and continuing slow
Take it easy and take it slow and do what is best for you both.
Wish you all the best which ever way it goes.
This has nothing to do with being controlling. Expecting a monogamous relationship with mutual respect is not controlling. You should have her agree to cut off all contact and if she refuses, then dump her
This ?
Good question about the party, the only reason she gave me was that some people don't like me.
In regards to effort it's something me and her have argued about alot, to the point we took a break not so long ago
I feel like i put in ALOT of effort to come see her but I do admit she sometimes helps me pay for the tickets as i don't often have the money and she is in an apprenticeship. I really want to see her and not cause more arguments so i am probably still going to go and just keep my mouth shut about how it made me feel as she would blame me for ruining the day if I told her, that her spending all that time at the party made me feel lonely
I dunno, we don’t have her side of this. Except she says she can’t because she was already sick before, which sounds like her job would be at stake. Not to mention you guys aren’t married, she’s a GF, so the “in sickness and health” stuff is optional, if you said we intend to stay together forever then ok but otherwise its a real lot to ask that she risk her job for this trip that will be nothing but work for her. Can you support her if she loses her job? Have you talked about that?
Also what sort of operation is this? One foot or both? If one foot you will have crutches and be Ok to go alone. Its a one day trip. Its not even an overnighter where she would have to get you food or help you shower or anything. Just man up and go get yourself fixed.
Honestly, it sounds like Emma needs therapy just by herself.
I am so sorry that this is happening for you. It was never what you envisioned for your life when you made your vows. But you’ve got this. You will find your momma bear inside and rise up to create a beautiful life for yourself and that little nugget cooking inside of you. Best wishes to you and the baby ❤️?
Don’t shit where you eat IMO.
If you can’t pay it back in less than 5 years they’ll hold every vacation/large purchase you make against you. You won’t be able to save dime until you pay them back
To protect his will being i understand… your not gonna snitch right ??
My ex was like this. Do you ever picture her being able to care for another human? Doesn’t even have to be a baby. How helpful would she be with a dog? I’ve been single for 2 years now and it’s remarkable how much better it feels only having to pick up after yourself. I have always had pets and when we were together I thought there was no possible way I could even deal with caring for a pet on top of all the stuff I already did. Now that I’ve been single, having a dog would be so great. Probably going to get one soon. I’ve always had dogs except the last 10 years and I realized it would be 100 times easier than having to care for another adult human
What if… hear me out… there was a world where “Love Languages” didn't exist. They don't exist because everyone who read that crap realized it was just a bunch of bullshit. And that people might use those 'Love Languages' as a way to manipulate their partner into doing what they want, regardless of the partner's boundaries. Everyone saw right through the b.s. much faster than they saw through the inanity of Meyers Briggs. And lived happily ever after – once they reestablished boundaries, personal and physical, with their partners.