That's some bizarre behavior. I absolutely hate casual sex and think most people are complete hedonistic freaks who I try hard not to be like, but these are only rules I apply OUTSIDE a relationship. (I wasn't raised any certain way, but I just see the bad results of going too far one way or the other)
This stuff is a cultural thing…it's just a sad fact that alot of cultures are kind of sick in this way. Sucks because it gives people who are ACTUALLY virtuous around sex a bad name.
I think alot of times, these people see the certain ways in which their norms are clearly beneficial, but then use that to justify their existing actions and beliefs that happen to be very unhealthy too…..so they end up just as broken as a 29 year old californian, but in a very different way.
I think I’m starting to have feelings for her, but I honestly don’t want to, I’ve been doing good financially and morally after years of bad relationships, and family relationship issues, I do want to build but don’t have the heart for it, but simultaneously don’t want to have a what if moment down the line, contradicting I know
Try something fun. Suggest a date night to her favorite restaurant or go see a movie that she'd like. Or even something simpler, like going out for ice cream and a walk. Time alone away from the kids, and the house and all the daily stuff of life.
See if she is willing to try and have fun together again.
If not, it's time for a serious talk about your marriage and maybe therapy.
I guess the real question is was he mad he slept in his bed or mad he slept in any bed with you? I’d wrinkle my nose up at (almost) anyone else sleeping in my bed. If this is more of an “inappropriate/ incest” type concern from him I’m with you. It’s wildly disturbing that is his thought process and I would wonder why it is. Is there something in his past? Further, does he have similar reservations about kids sleeping in a bed with a paternal person? Is it strictly a concern around opposite sex sleeping or is that relevant? Something weird at play and I understand your disgust in him/his thinking.
That's some bizarre behavior. I absolutely hate casual sex and think most people are complete hedonistic freaks who I try hard not to be like, but these are only rules I apply OUTSIDE a relationship. (I wasn't raised any certain way, but I just see the bad results of going too far one way or the other)
This stuff is a cultural thing…it's just a sad fact that alot of cultures are kind of sick in this way. Sucks because it gives people who are ACTUALLY virtuous around sex a bad name.
I think alot of times, these people see the certain ways in which their norms are clearly beneficial, but then use that to justify their existing actions and beliefs that happen to be very unhealthy too…..so they end up just as broken as a 29 year old californian, but in a very different way.
Exactly??
I think I’m starting to have feelings for her, but I honestly don’t want to, I’ve been doing good financially and morally after years of bad relationships, and family relationship issues, I do want to build but don’t have the heart for it, but simultaneously don’t want to have a what if moment down the line, contradicting I know
Try something fun. Suggest a date night to her favorite restaurant or go see a movie that she'd like. Or even something simpler, like going out for ice cream and a walk. Time alone away from the kids, and the house and all the daily stuff of life.
See if she is willing to try and have fun together again.
If not, it's time for a serious talk about your marriage and maybe therapy.
I guess the real question is was he mad he slept in his bed or mad he slept in any bed with you? I’d wrinkle my nose up at (almost) anyone else sleeping in my bed. If this is more of an “inappropriate/ incest” type concern from him I’m with you. It’s wildly disturbing that is his thought process and I would wonder why it is. Is there something in his past? Further, does he have similar reservations about kids sleeping in a bed with a paternal person? Is it strictly a concern around opposite sex sleeping or is that relevant? Something weird at play and I understand your disgust in him/his thinking.