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NAUGHTY COWGIRL|| RIDE + OIL EVERY GOAL, ⚡CONTROL LUSH25TK⚡SNAP+3HOTPIC25TK⚡ [17 tokens remaining]
Date: October 6, 2022
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It hasn’t even been two months so there is no way you have a real connection. So understand that it doesn’t matter what the reason is, she isn’t interested in getting to know you better. It isn’t your fault, so don’t dwell on why. But don’t get so emotionally attached so soon with anyone live. It takes time to get to know someone and that is the joy of real relationships.
I’d let it go. People say stupid things, she never actually kissed him. Even if she did, is one mistake worth destroying a relationship for? If it’s consistent cheating and saying stuff like that then that’s different.
The same reasons that you just quit your job when you’re having a bad day. Life ebs and flows and I think it’s fair to say, given there are no real problems, that the happy times will come back if you try
Most common would be self-worth issues. You see that in younger guys and those without much experience. They latch on and invest in women very quickly because they think they don't have many options.
The problem for you is that changes as you progress. Over time, they gain confidence and experience, and all of that suppressed grievance becomes brand new expectations you didn't know about. OR the insecurity shows up in unfair rules, excess monitoring, or accusations..
It doesn't always go that way, and there are other explanations. Like i said, you need more information to determine if this is a red flag.
Just be aware.
……
I’m a gay man. My husband hangs out with other male friends alone without me. Should I not be ok with this?
Yes, you’re insecure. This is a You problem, not a her problem.
Thanks for the suggestions.
We were thinking of doing a little tabletop day with some of our friends who have missed out on christmas plans, so we might just order in and hang out via discord.
As a pretty introverted person, I'm stunned at how much thought and effort seems to go into avoiding your live in SO. Your partner should be someone you can comfortably spend downtime with, even if you're and introverted. Not that you should never have alone time, but the default should be spending time together.
Um, you do realise that op is friends with Sarah? Who is a cheater just like her husband? So by that logic the bf should leave op too? Didn't make any sense
This is clearly fake post. Try better next time.
So, as you actually took the time to read my comment and ask for advice, I did read the rest of the post, and I likely have misjudged you in some ways which I will attempt to clear up in this one.
The first, was a red flag because it lacked context. The “finally” comment came across as if it was only her responsibility and that it was “about time she did her job”, that's why I took it as a red flag.
The second whether she is on her period or not is irrelevant and is often seen as an out to tell a women that she is overreacting. If you took note of it now, I went with the assumption that you've told it to her before, and that's a very simple way to find yourself in an arguement.
The third, you've basically explained it with the last line, but I will thank you as you've just taught me a new word (juxtaposition).
I was definitely harsh on you in my judgement as context is everything in these posts and we only get one side of it, personally I have to try and view it how I would from the other perspective.
The undiagnosed and potential mental health issues are quite something, as that is a lot (in my unprofessional opinion about to finish my Psych Degree, not my masters) for a therapist to think she may have at one point without consulting or referencing her to a psychiatrist.
As for tonight, please update us as to what happens because I would be genuinly curious if that is the case (again).
As for how you can do better, I'm not a perfect man, but I am a patient one and that's what I would preach in this situation; along with being a little more mindful of how your words may come across to someone with those potential diagnoses (as once again, I am not a professional).
Aside from that, if the same thing occurs tonight as it has prior like you've stated, I would recommend seeking a psychiatrist for a professional opinion on what the therapist has commented on, as if that is the case, it will be something you both need to learn how approach if you want to stay together.
As someone who has a close friend with all the aforementioned diagnoses, I hope it all works out.
Edit: dear god, editing because lists are horrible apparently.
Damn you have a victim complex the size of the fucking Eiffel Tower. Your choices put you here, you being abused has absolutely nothing to do with your deplorable actions now
Cooking for people who are grieving is a tradition in about every culture, and it shows how much we’ve all lost our roots that this is even being questioned. Your boyfriend is being a douche and problem just wants all the food and attention himself.
There’s a good reason for this tradition. Grieving people can’t function, plan and loose their appetite. If the community doesn’t make it easy to eat, they won’t.
What are doing with a guy who's old enough to be your father? He's just using for sex. Get out of the weird age gap relationship.
There's lots of good information here. An Update.
She has been diagnosed: Bipolar Borderline personality disorder Chronic depression Generalized anxiety CPTSD Chronic Fatigue
She's been on so many different meds. We are trying to find something that works. Her psych basically told her to admit herself into a facility because she doesn't know what to do.
She was recently baker acted. The facility they sent her to was a drug abuse facility that treates her like a substance abuser when the issue was she tried to kill herself. That made her anxiety and depression worse.
She has a therapist, but doesn't see him enough. I also have a therapist. I see him bimonthly.
Mental Health Treatment is Garbage in the U.S.
I think this is a guy. The point of the post is to hypocrisy.
To me there is more to the story. It is not just about this one incident. It probably is several incidents where you choose to be there for others instead of your wife and kids.
Listen, as someone more than twice your age: While you are legally an adult, it's not like some magic occurs the moment you turn 18 and you become this super-experienced adult. Not how it works. And even if it would – you were sexually assaulted. That's nothing age will ever prepare you for.
There may indeed not be anything that can be legally done to your aunt, but that doesn't mean that there is nothing that can be done for you – because you are traumatized and you need help with that. Mental wounds heal slower and far worse than physical ones, so your aunt not hurting you physically means nothing. This means that you shouldn't keep your “mouth shut”. You possibly need a trauma therapist and you need support.
I don't know your family and can't tell you whom you should talk to. Maybe choose the family member you trust the most and, if you feel like you can't get the right words out, just print out this post here and show them. If you feel like you can't trust any of them and if you are still in school, you could also talk to a trusted teacher. Just please talk to someone. Keeping this bottled in is incredibly unhealthy and you absolutely should never, ever be forced to be around your aunt again.
dude is old enough to be your dad lmfao
She should just suck up hurtful or shitty behavior because you said so or you think it was a joke? I get the feeling you like the control you feel you have holding her “not paying rent” over her head. You’ll probably come back here and say you don’t say anything about that to her but it popped out as a comment too quickly to not be in your mind.
Definitely projecting.
Shit. I'm so so so sorry. When you can, get a burner phone, text your mom that:
“This is the last time we ever talk, if you come anywhere close to me without supervision, I'm calling the cops, and telling them EVERYTHING. You have one son left, make what's right for him, because you can't have me, sis or the other brothers back. ”
In regards to your mother, document everything, lock credit, SSN and all that down, and have your brothers and sis do the same.
Sums it up nicely.
Yes, the OP has no good decisions. The OP's husband made sure that she had no good decisions, has attacked her and undermined her and directly caused this situation which will destroy their family – and that's true regardless of which decision she makes in the end.
He destroyed their family the second he said the monstrous, hateful things he said, the second he put the fetus and later child's welfare above the welfare of his wife and other children.
The problem is yeaahh_no is making this seem like it is her fault when in fact, none of it was. If she had her way, they keep their happy family and everything is fine. It's only because he didn't give a shit about her needs that their family is wrecked.
but that's not really the question, I want to know if it is unfair to expect compliments if you're not very attractive
Gonna go out on a limb and say hours hangup is a touch of misogyny.
If you aren't ready to settle down then you aren't ready to settle down. There is nothing wrong with breaking up if you aren't a good fit. But I highly recommend a clean break instead of a pause or walkabout.
Mate… I’m gonna level with you here: this relationship sounds toxic af, and I came to that conclusion long before I even got to the bit about his texts with Kay. Look, you’re 45 and I’m sure you’re a sensible woman in general. I want you to think really long and nude about everything you know regarding healthy romantic relationships and then break your own situation down objectively. Okay?
You two have literally been together for less time than some of the cheese blocks in my fridge. How many mature adults do you know who’ve not only declared their “love” but gone on a weeklong holiday with someone that they’ve known for barely 3 months? What you’ve described isn’t love, it’s textbook lovebombing and is a frequent precursor to narcissistic abuse. I know — I went through it! I was 21 and 2 months in, my ex was telling me and everyone who crossed his path that he wanted to marry me. He took me on trips and bought me things, and even though there were loads of little warning signs, I ignored them because we! Were! So! In! Love! (Spoiler: we were not. I was being manipulated and conditioned.)
None of your friends/family sound supportive but they all seem to be echoing the idea that you’ve done lost your mind. I know it’s annoying to have to question whether you might be wrong about your new relationship but have you considered the possibility that they’re all seeing the red flags you seem to be ignoring?
He’s a liar. Not a great one but certainly decent. He lied to you and he’s lying to this woman, and the worst part is that he clearly had no intention of telling you what was happening until he got caught. In fact, even after getting caught, he’s literally told you that not only did he believe his lies were justified but — if you read between the lines — he’s also telling you that he’s not going to stop lying to Kay. “Oh, poor, poor Kay. How could I possibly tell a dying woman that I’ve found my ‘soulmate’??? I guess you’ll just have to be a secret until she dies, and in the meantime, I’ll have to continue flirting with her and having intimate conversation.” Think about it. If they’re just friends and their romantic relationship has truly ended, WHY WOULD KAY CARE THAT HER FRIEND FOUND LOVE? Why would she feel like she’s “not good enough”? She would only care or have a genuine reason to be upset if she has been led to believe they’re still in a relationship. Full stop.
Block him, reflect, and learn to recognize red flags when they’re in front of you. Good luck.
The reason I dont go back to my moms is the same reason why I left. I left my moms to find space for my baby. My mom lives in a 2 bed as well. There is no space for me and my baby. Its like 700sq ft.
The reason I dont go back to my moms is the same reason why I left. I left my moms to find space for my baby. My mom lives in a 2 bed as well. There is no space for me and my baby. Its like 700sq ft.
I wouldn’t be with someone who planned a child with me and then decided to accuse me of trying to commit paternity fraud on him. Pass. Don’t worry he’ll get his DNA test the court can order it when you go through th custody and child support process if needed.
No kidding. I’m ruined by this sub. Dude probably had a secret vasectomy or something.
I guess my question is – how likely is it that he will actually cheat? I just dont understand him. Why throw away 10+ years for some potential pussy? Why is that more important to him than me, who has supported him through a multitude of issues throughout the years?
The only person who can actually answer the questions you have is him. And in a way, he already answered one of them. He said that if given the chance, he would cheat. That leaves the likelihood pretty high in my opinion. He didn't beat around the bush and say maybe, he said that he would in fact cheat if given the chance. Which is gross.
You know the last person who I heard say that was? The 52 year old who groomed me when I was 14. He told me after 2 years of lying about how I was the only one for him, that he would indeed cheat on me if he had the chance and that it was silly of 16 year old me to expect him to wait until I got to FL after turning 18. That was what made me decide to leave him, because at that point I knew the 'relationship' was over.
It's hard leaving, especially since you guys had a long time together and you're living together. But when he said that to you- did that not feel like the end of the relationship? Is cheating not a deal breaker? And even if he comes back from this trip and acts like everything's normal, are you going to believe he didn't cheat? What if he even tells you he didnt- would you still believe him? Can you actually stay in that relationship comfortably if there's paranoia about whether he did or didn't?
For me, hearing that meant I no longer could trust the man and wouldn't be able to believe a word he said. I'd always be paranoid about if he was lying or ommiting the truth about cheating. Relationships need trust to work, and just like my groomer broke my trust with that statement, it sounds like your boyfriend did the same – even if you say you don't NOT trust him.
He was disgusting, inconsiderate to others in the house, and lazy. Then he screamed at you for fixing it. And then he refused to apologize, and berated you for being “disrespectful & defiant”. DEFIANT? Oh please. He’s wrong, wrong, WRONG.
Can his method work? Maybe, but it’s questionable and also risky to the pipes. Is choosing that route worth grossing out and inconveniencing his family over? No.
Also, the man needs to learn to use less tp and what a mid-poop flush is.
If the only way to return to “marital bliss” is to give into his tyrannical, poopy demands then you have a bigger problem.
The #1 rule of healthy anal play is that the goal should never be penetrative sex. If that ends up happening at a level that is mutually satisfying for both partners, GREAT! But pushing your already reluctant body to accept a P in the B nearly always results in pain and sometimes worse, such as tearing or infection.
It’s great that you’re curious & trying different things for your comfort such as lube & cleansing, but (and only if YOU want it in the BUTT) try slowing down even more. Start small with digital penetration or toys and see if those bring you pleasure. Your BF should enjoy bringing you pleasure with alternative methods that you are comfortable exploring. If your BF is pressuring you to do something that is painful to you for his own self-gratification, dump him. You may or may not ever be able to relax enough for P-in-B sex, but you certainly won’t with someone who prioritizes his pleasure over your pain. All sexual acts should be pleasurable, safe & with 100% consent.
Let her know the engagement will last for at least two years because getting married prior to 25 comes with an 88% chance of being divorced before you're 30.
He sexually assaulted you. It is sexual assault since you did not consent to anal sex, and he knew that.
You are NOT too loose. It is more likely that he has a “death grip” issue from too much masturbation while watching porn.
He’s gaslighting you by saying you aren’t tight enough to cover up his own sexual dysfunction. There is nothing wrong with you. And it is inexcusable that he assaulted you. Consent is an important part of a healthy sex life, and you should feel empowered to say no to any sex act that you don’t enjoy.
but I won’t allow our friendship to slide through the cracks.
Sounds like he's not the only one she should drop like a bag of rocks. You're playing tug of war, shame on both of you.
This is what happens when you get involved with people who have a history with your friends. Rookie move man.
Give it some time and you’ll get the full story
Why would she come back?
Call police if he gets violent. Gather your kids and leave him if he starts being verbally abusive.
No, he’s at home with his parents. The police took him straight home as apparently he has a stable home there
Are you neurodiverse? On the autism spectrum or have adhd? A lot of the relationship anxieties you describe remind me of a neurodivergent person's.
Not sure threatening criminal activity/violence is a good idea?
He is disgusting.
A true Man (to use his own words) cleans up after himself.
So tell him he sits down to piss, learns to aim properly (I mean if people can teach kids, he can learn) or he cleans up after himself.
If he doesn’t, then start using rubber gloves, mop it up with toilet paper, and then put it in his hand.
This a whole troll post. Everyone said why it’s wrong you give the same actress actor excuse, people tell you how that’s a horrible comparison and then how it’s still iffy, rinse repeat. Either you’re just an idiot, troll, both, or ya just want to argue either way it’s tiresome
This comment makes me vomit.
You are a shell of your past, current aspiration and hope for your futur. All of my ex contribue to me being exactly the person I am. Every Summer job I took taught me things and I got to know new people.
But sure, don't tell anything about what makes you you unless your partner asks.
Why would you want to make it work with someone who is a liar and a cheat? Find your dignity and a way out.
Well the issue isn’t necessarily that he just wants to leave, it’s that he wants me to leave as well, so he can spend time with just me. Basically he wants to go out with friends, then go elsewhere without said friends so it’s just me and him. He doesn’t just leave and go home.
Good. It’s hard to keep it up but do not he best you can
Good. It’s hard to keep it up but do not he best you can
Lucky you. You aren't even engaged yet! You can break up and find a guy who isn't obsessed with mommy.
Open communication yes but also finding a partner with similar values.
Sounds like you’re in too deep for me to help.
DV is not an accident. I wish you the best and hope you can learn and be safe.
It means she is prioritizing her friends over the relationship and will be hanging out with them more
What if it was an accident?
Also why not make a Business IG?
Also with the OP being in NFTs and now stocks, he should know that NFTs dont look very promising currently.
Also if there is a net gain in all of this or just sunken cost.
Jesus … What's up with this guy? Sis… That is some red flag territory and BS overreaction.