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Date: December 10, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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She kinda groomed you…you’re 19. You need to go sling some dick and experience life. Don’t get married right now.
I agree, to me it just feels too much like what TERFs say trans women are like.
Tbh she sounds like a mean person. To say you are ruining your time together just because of the way you reacted? Why should you contemplating quietly “make her uncomfortable”? That’s absolutely a valid way of reflecting and thinking. It’s normal, doesn’t make you a crazy person.
I’m like that to, I take time to process things, need my alone space and am very sensitive. I also get uncomfortable with the idea of ever being with anyone who isn’t my boyfriend.
Tbh, it sounds like she doesn’t respect who you are and to rub it in your face in the end. It’s okay to have differences but her telling your reactions are wrong, is mean. We all have different beliefs and ways of thinking and acting.
You shouldn’t change your behavior if anything she seems immature and doesn’t care to understand you. You should process all your emotions and go to therapy for yourself. Not for someone who is telling you that you ruin her time just because you are quiet and don’t have the “right” reactions for her.
You sound like either you have low self esteem or that you’re okay with people treating you with disrespect. Often both those things coincide. How is he the one delaying the date? You need to walk away.
This post is fake.
There's no way this is real. His attitude wouldn't get him laid with all the money in the world.
Also, any man that calls themselves “high value” or an “alpha male” is far from a man.
He's negging you to lower your self-esteem to make you easier to control. Leave him. Why wouldn't he just left you if you were a “low value person” after he found out your body count. He can't change your past.
Run.
I wasn't invited this time.
Have you asked her why you're not invited this time?
It sounds like she's going on a date.
She's in denial. You cannot force her to accept reality. Do your best and treat her like flat earther…you can't argue with these people. She'll either wake up one day and realize or stay in denial.
You're right, I appreciate this, thank you. In your personal opinion, do you think that understanding should (hopefully) still apply from her, even if it's only been a few days since I last spoke to my ex to finalize ending things?
Keep that door closed and stop “catching up” or whatever that means.
Alright, old women. People are agreeing with me so….
Why does your GF hate your family?
Her making you feel shame for something that you can't control. Seems like her ability to bond with you is shit by the amount of people she's “bonded” with in the past. Is this the tone you want to set for the relationship? That disrespect is call for a very serious conversation between the both of yous.
I haven't had rhinoplasty, but I have had multiple pretty intense surgeries on my face to remove cancer spots. (For about a month I genuinely looked like Sloth from The Goonies because of how many I had back to back.) And it's the same deal. It'll be at least a year before each of the areas has settled into what they're going to look like long term. Not only in shape but also complexion. Redness can stick around for a long time.
It has nothing to do with his insecurities being at play. That girl is a walking red flag and just everything she is doing regarding these guys is wrong in every way. Way to down play it.
After the initial op (the removal of uterus, the big deal major op) I did everything. I started working from home, I catered to her every need, and made sure she stayed in bed for the duration. I managed the kids, everything.
The second op, which was keyhole surgery, discharged same day, routine op stuff. Was the 7 day recovery.
It’s one thing if she came to you first before dating this person to ask if it’s okay, not as permission, but to make sure she isn’t crossing a boundary line of respect with you in case you weren’t fully over your ex.
But it’s very telling, red flag actually, that all these people, including your BFF & ex, they hid this for a YEAR! A FULL FUCKING YEAR!!!
Like who does that????
That’s some super sketchy immature toxic BS.
Also full stop, wouldn’t blame you if you lost trust in all these people, every single one.
It’s one thing if it was a guy you were ONS, FWB, or only dates for a month and it was LONG after it was over, then I wouldn’t care. But you were with this guy for five years…
That’s not easy to get past when something like this happens.
It makes you wonder if at someone during the relationship your BFF developed a crush on him & if he developed a crush on her, so that when you two broke it off, just jumped into quickly.
Cause that’s the full on impression…
It’s also less about if you move on, this is what I take the most to heart is the lying and being sneaky. The hiding of things even when you were dating him is also another issue.
I’m in your corner Op on this, we don’t know each other, but you’ve got my full support for what ever you feel you need to do❤️
You sound toxic. You probably have your head too far up your beautifully bleached, waxed, pristine, never shitty asshole to see why your daughter actually hates you. But just from reading your post, I’m already over you.
You sound toxic. You probably have your head too far up your beautifully bleached, waxed, pristine, never shitty asshole to see why your daughter actually hates you. But just from reading your post, I’m already over you.
I see your point. I'm just hoping I can have guy friends without them thinking of me as a possible target. My boyfriend seems to get along better with girls, and I've tried to understand that, but he doesn't want me to have guy friends, he even doesn't agree with this one, in his mind he's a threat or smth, just because we get along so well. It's so difficult having a bf and guy friends as well, maybe i would be better off without a bf, and just keep my friends, idk.
I was looking for resources and recommendations i hadn’t thought of and instead got tons of shaming on my life. Its not like adoption hasn’t crossed my mind but at the most it is a last resort. Ive seen foster care and been in it and i would take anything over my time in that horrid system.
I agree in a sense, but people also make bad decisions when they're in pain. He might think he wants it, but doesn't.
Also… block him on social media. You do not need to be watching what he’s doing.
Also true. I guess I’m more so worried about him reacting positively to it and then in return I won’t want to move. I’m not moving for any particular reason.
It kind of just started out of nowhere.
I’m sorry but you guys just aren’t compatible. It will be better to end things now before you get too attached.
I’ll fight you for Charlie
If I “delete” an app on my phone, it puts it in a storage area for 30 days before it completely trashes it. So if I go back to download it, it just pulls from that storage area and all my credentials are still there.
That's why I haven't been able to rid myself of Reddit, lol.
But yeah, he totally could be using that if his phone has it.
I don’t know anything about your relationship. You know who has said life went better after ignoring their gut? Nobody.
@u/Sharp-Internet-2915 I can see your reply in my email but not on here for some reason, and I can only see part of your reply in the email. She has lied consistently and always seems to have a convenient truth when confronted. I do feel like the relationship has been built on lies and I don’t know how to trust her now. When I’ve said something about her breaking my trust she made it out like it was no big deal and made me feel crazy for thinking the way I did. I don’t know if I am crazy, or what at this point.
That’s 100% a valid point, but what would you say to your partner if they came to you with this, if they poured their heart out, I feel for this dude in the sense he feels like a monster for even being attracted to his wife, they need to have a serious talk :/
I'm talking about in the thread.
I did no such thing. Men are allowed to talk about being SA'd – it is not something that exclusively happens to women. I like how you try to make some plea to not be sexist (as if simply pointing out a double standard is inherently sexist) and then immediately use a sexist term and try to put words in my mouth.
I hope you've managed to find therapy for your experiences.
If you feel any guilt or worry about him threatening self harm leave and when you are away from them and in a safe place call them, tell them why you left and why you are worried about him.
Do not under any circumstances tell them where you went, where you are staying or agree to meet them alone, they might support you but they might also take his side
The literal definition of ‘captain save a hoe’
Take some goddamn responsibility for your actions
Get serious psychological help to learn healthy relationships and boundaries.
So your parents are not allowed to be happy just because you married your wife.
Pull your head out of your arse and realise that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and other people are allowed to be happy.
Then you need to sit down and talk to you parents.
Ask them what their problem is. If they say nothing tell them to tell the truth or just tell them that they have to let the past be the past. It hurts you that they purposefully leave him out like this. He is your partner. You will expect him to be included from now on.
I feel it's pretty inappropriate, as the guard knows we live together and should have just told the man that she lives with her bf
That is absolutely the wrong thing for him to do. He shouldn't be giving any of her/your information out. He should keep the information private, and informing the concerned party and potentially his chain of command. Which it sounds like is what he did. You're mad at someone who handled the situation exactly correctly. The right thing to do is thank him for letting you know and either ask about the guy looking into your girlfriend or ask him to keep an eye out for the asker behaving suspiciously.
If it was someone with bad intentions, why would you want him knowing her living situation so he's able to plan accordingly?
Update us if you tell him
Is there any way I can get him to just drink a bit of water and eat some vegetables? Like I said, maybe I'm being selfish.
I mean….He's 23, this doesn't really sound unusual for most people his age.
Note: Please don't say “you married him the way he is” because that's rubbish. People chang
Yes, people can change if they WANT to change. However, an SO isn't a project and you can't force them to do something. Given your history, it might have been better for you to hold off on getting married and having a kid this young, but yeah, too late.
Is there any way I can get him to just drink a bit of water and eat some vegetables? Like I said, maybe I'm being selfish.
Might be best for you to make it a must for him to have a yearly check-up with his gp at least.
Play baby shark C-bat on repeat.
Well she has already graduated at least once, this is at least her second time to graduate. This appears to be the brothers first wedding.
I was saying, it's great that you sent him a letter apologizing. But that should be the extent of your contact. So now leave him alone.
If he wants to talk to you, he knows how to find you.
Dude. You are straight up garbage. You do not have integrity. Why should she trust you after all the shit you have put her through. If you truly loved her you wouldn't be asking for nudes and flirting with other women.
The best thing you can do for her is to leave her alone. But you only care about yourself because your a selfish asshole.
How did she cheat?
Just dump him. Walk away and never look back
Because when he continued to bring it up even when they’d discussed it already, he then blocked her from leaving, not to mention the age gap,
Yeah, it often turn into a negative spiral where you both just keep repeating the same things, this builds resentment and drains you both.
Say something happen to you and you tell your bf. A guy's first thought will be, how do we fix this and will try to do so. And that's where the disconnect happens because you just want to be comforted or listened to. So next time that happens, how about telling him, either before or after you tell him about it that you don't need a fix or advice, you just need someone to listen and maybe comfort you, be there for you.
Did you take the dog to the vet while you had him? If so, you could perhaps use that as proof that his yours and you bf kidnapped him. Contact private rescue groups and explain what’s going on, perhaps they have more ideas.
Try to document the abuse and the threats as best you can.
No. Find the cause.
And actively eliminate that one.
You are an intelligent husband. Albeit a bit… rational.
You may need to go by other ways to make her feel like being in need to justify her existence at your house.
It's a thing reflecting on the outside.
Born on the inside.
If she feels bad about being talked to about it… act.
Deeds say tons more than words.
(What family does that lady come from?).
Yeah… That's my problem. We were both exclusive, it was clearly said out loud.
Behaviour and ideas like these are very normalised here (and probably in most places around the world).
For all I know, the girl probably feels horrible about the way she's treated at work.
My boyfriend has unlearnt a lot of misogynist views over time. And he usually is open to any changes anyone suggests to his mindset.
I think the problem here is he is very sensitive to being called a “bad person”. He's a people pleaser, and wants everyone to think of him as this “funny, wholesome” person. Especially me.
He obviously committed this mistake at office. And I made it clear to him. And now he's anxious and embarassed and upset at me because I made him feel like that. Really hope he comes around once he thinks logically about it again.
Don’t worry about it? Girl grow up you’re not elusive but okay Goodluck begging him to answer you
ok. I don't do anal anymore, and sometimes I like it rough, and if you are having sex, even if you have a rough one, a penis can hit you there accidentally, but, however naked we did it, and in whatever position, it had never ended up in a full insertion, or even his full head never got inserted.
I only can say that your bf doesn't respect your boundaries and as if it was me, I would have considered it as a rape for it happened repeatedly without my consent.. But I am a drama queen, and you keep defending him.
A joke wouldn't be followed by the silent treatment.
Low contact. Rare cordial chit chat but mostly just no reaction
I'm not a lawyer so I'm not exactly sure what's important but anything that can prove you being a good, supportive and active parent is probably good. Same goes for them lying or manipulating.
As someone else said it's probably best to contact a family law lawyer and get a consultation.
Also, realistically speaking, how big could the difference be between their networths (and potential networths) that he'd feel like his gf would want to marry him so she can take his money away?
My uncle was a truck driver and he used to pick up hitch hikers all the time until someone robbed him, shot him, and left him for dead. Thankfully he survived, but he sure as hell never picked up hitch hikers again.
It’s definitely more likely to happen to women, but it can happen to dudes, too. It just seems like really risky business.
The only reason I can think of for someone to do that is because they want you for themselves. When someone disrespects your spouse, you need to set them straight and tell them you won't tolerate that.
God help you if you ever lose a limb or get some minor scarring from a burn or surgery or something. What’s he gonna do then? Divorce you? Because you are missing a finger or had part of your face mangled?
You have long time female best friend who is jealous of your wife, and you setting boundaries. Yeah, this never ends well.
Divorce in a heart beat.
Well, this is (to be most generous and empathetic I can) definitely a teenager way to roll out polyamory.
Sounds like you both need to read up on ethical non-monogamy and about healthy polyamorous dynamics. Which, to be clear, would exclude having a conversation about polyamory and then suddenly showing up with a few new partners.
For your own sake, I would back out of this. Do a bunch of research and take some time to think about it, and step back into this…milieu when you feel more prepared to set boundaries and negotiate in your own self-interest.
As for your last bit, op is 24yo. You skipped forward from mum dying at 14, going to college at 18, to meeting/marrying (?) wife at 21, now, 3 years after that, wife is pregnant.
A therapist isn't there to enable certain behaviours, a therapist is there to help patients get to a more healthy place.
Otherwise, 99% of people on Reddit could become therapists and charge on a post to post basis.