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Date: September 25, 2022
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Might be a case of “Learned Helplessness”. I was in a similar situation once. My ex-husband and his family were quite wealthy, whereas I grew up in a low-income, single-mom household. I was a stay at home mom of a 2yo and wanted to leave desperately but had nowhere to go. He capitalized on this by treating me poorly, thinking I’d never leave the comfort of financial stability.
My days became bleak and dreary and I stopped looking forward to the future. One day I imagined my daughter dating and marrying a man just like her father, and I was terrified. She didn’t deserve that! But what are her options? Hide behind her fear and stay while slowly dying inside? Or face the fear of the unknown in a challenging situation but surfacing as a stronger woman?
When I shifted my perspective, I became empowered. I realized that if it wasn’t okay for her, then it’s not okay for me. I am someone’s daughter. I was once a little girl and I didn’t do anything to deserve this treatment. I realized I needed to leave for her, but also myself. I summoned a huge amount of courage by imagining that I needed to protect my daughter and the little girl inside myself.
It was easily the most difficult challenge in my life but honestly the HARDEST part was deciding to leave…and then following through. Everything after that was easier because by leaving, I was already a happier person.
I’m now sublimely happy, married to an amazing man. I often feel grateful for my life now. I have a calendar reminder every year of the day I left, and I want you to have the same. Find some courage by getting your dog out of that situation, or imagine your niece or little sister in your shoes. What would you want for her. Because you are her and you deserve better.