I see both the sides, however this situation is somewhat different.
Once a porn video is on the internet, it stays on the internet forever. Friends and family may come across her videos while 'browsing the net’. They may be able to recognize her. Because of that, the porn videos are not in the past. They are in the present and potentially someone OP knows may come across them in the future.
OP’s wife says that she wanted to do porn and she doesn’t regret. But at the same time she’s dismissive of OP’s reaction and his feelings. If she was okay with it, why didn’t she tell OP about it. She knew that different people would have different reaction, and she thought that OP might have a different reaction as well.
By hiding this information (i.e. lying by omission) she took OP’s agency away from being able to make an informed decision. I am guessing that this is what’s hurting OP the most.
Couldn't have said it better
You have a right to know about her past
With respect, I must disagree.
I see both the sides, however this situation is somewhat different.
Once a porn video is on the internet, it stays on the internet forever. Friends and family may come across her videos while 'browsing the net’. They may be able to recognize her. Because of that, the porn videos are not in the past. They are in the present and potentially someone OP knows may come across them in the future.
OP’s wife says that she wanted to do porn and she doesn’t regret. But at the same time she’s dismissive of OP’s reaction and his feelings. If she was okay with it, why didn’t she tell OP about it. She knew that different people would have different reaction, and she thought that OP might have a different reaction as well.
By hiding this information (i.e. lying by omission) she took OP’s agency away from being able to make an informed decision. I am guessing that this is what’s hurting OP the most.