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#milk [GOAL MET]
Date: December 21, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Thanks very much. I imagine this kind of advice on this sub is quite rare, but you seem to understand the nature of how I'm feeling. Thank you
You make money to spend money on loved ones. Let him swallow his ego and thank you OP for being awesome
like i said, id love to be proven wrong. i appreciate your comment.
Your girlfriend is insecure and controlling.
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I agree, time to pull the Excell Spreadsheet and go ham on it!!
to be honest i wish yeah. his family has been so accepting to me letting me stay with them whenever. my friends (even with strict parents) have been able to have partners stay at their home for a couple days. i don’t see why not
I think they’re FTM and mistyped
lol dafuq
I always lean towards just being honest about your feelings. But at the same time you don’t want to pressure him into a relationship. Maybe just ask why he doesn’t think he knows you well enough for a relationship and start the discussion there on what a relationship means to each of you.
I can see why that would be hurtful. How would be react to a compromise like he goes 1-2 times a week with you and the rest of the times by himself? Or you go with him but stay for 0.5-1hrs and then leave him to himself for the rest of the sessions?
You’re projecting things into the discussion.
You’re adding elements and emotions to it that aren’t listed in the description.
That not only doesn’t help the discussion but it also negatively affects how you look at situations. Read what was said, how OP acts, and how Op stated they initiated the argument.
As far as I’m concerned it seems like they were both drunk, OP got heated about sheets getting messy, guy (also drunk) got heated because he got yelled at, situation blew up.
It’s why I’m against drinking in any capacity and why her hookups are dangerous and need to stop. OP needs to figure her own shit out before trying to drag another person into that apartment.
If you continues this charade, I feel like it’s only a matter of time till she put you in harms way. Drop her asap.
I sincerely don't understand why these specifics matter. Your girlfriend and your friend were hooking up. Make outs are sexual. Oral sex is sexual. Sleeping next to each other is intimate. Why does the specific intimate act matter when you already knew they were intimately acquainted?
So LEAVE!
My grandmother loved to educate her daughters. She hated the fact that you were almost property if you had no money. She said that you need to love but know when love is not enough. She made sure that we all started investing at a young age. This helped me to leave my ex. The only one I had a child with. It was difficult to leave but when my child noticed the fights I knew it was time. His name was on the lease. In my country only the person on the lease is viable for the bills. I packed, got a new place with my daughter who proceeded to tell me a few weeks later that life was so much easier without her father in the house. The ex didn't know about my investments because we were not married or engaged. I got my house and furnished it before I left. He just came back from work and found me gone. I told him to reflect on the many times I told him that I would just give up and leave with no fuss. He hasn't seen me for 4 years. We use a parenting app
“I have really enjoyed our FWB arrangement, but I would like to check in about a few things (discuss your needs and wants). Moving forward, I need us to have consensus. If not, we should not proceed with this arrangement”
Agreed he sounds like a child.
“Sooo i don't get my way and ur upset.. I'll let ur mom deal with u”
I spend every day with a bunch of 9year olds who don't behave like this and ur dating a whole grown ass man OP.
Can u imagine getting married to this dude? Hes gonna run to ur mom every time u have a disagreement. He sounds immature and childish as hell.
Id honestly not even bother staying with him. If uve mentioned once how inappropriate it is and he's done it again I'd cut it!! Ur mom does not need to be all up in ur relationship business.
Date an adult OP. I'd have told him to fuck off long ago and then tell him he can go tell my mom that if he wants.
I’ll preface this by saying my partner is amazing. He is diligent. He’s a hard worker. He’s so intelligent. I think any job would be lucky to have him.
A week later, he landed an amazing job that I didn’t expect he would be able to get. But I can’t shake the voice in the back of my head that is bitter that he got it, considering how little he’s had to work for it. My partner doesn’t deserve it, I do think my partner lucked out getting his job
I think everything you said here contradicts what you supposedly think about your partner.
There is no concrete evidence that he got it through sexism. This is completely a you issue and nothing you would have to work on.
You seem to think grades are very important when it comes to getting your job, but quite frankly they don't matter in retrospect when you have your degree( Coming from someone with good grades when I graduated). He might have just killed the interview and shown social skills and ability to articulate himself in an amazing way aswell with great knowledge about whatever field he is in.
However not once have you considered this in your post and it must be, because of some nepotism based in sexism. This all goes back to what I first pointed out you clearly don't seem to view your partner in very high regard at all….
She needs to think realistically about her future prospects. Taking on an additional 30K in loans makes absolutely no sense to make a max salary of 125K. She could make that much by going to trade school for almost nothing and becoming a skilled laborer – a truck driver makes about that much nowadays. School is an investment in your future earning potential – the more you invest the more your future career needs to be able to earn and earn reliably (not just the top earners in your industry – so many lawyers go into 100-200K debt thinking they’ll make 200K a year when they start working but only 5% of lawyers maximum actually make that). 250K of debt from undergrad isn’t totally her fault – that’s mostly her parents fault for letting her do that – they should be ashamed because they must have had to co-sign those loans. But the average house costs 400K+ in America. The fact that you have no debt makes you so much freer than she is and must have required hard decisions on your part (at least and maybe also your family’s part). The fact that she not only has 250.000 in debt but is willing to take on more debt shows that she can’t possibly understand or respect how impressive it is for you to have no debt at all at your age. Maybe if she understood how serious that debt was the relationship would be worth it but the fact that she wants to take on more debt to go to school to make a salary she could make right now? That shows that she’s not ready to be an adult – she wants to go to school so she can delay adult responsibilities for another year instead of contributing. And on top of that she’s taking on more debt. She needs a wake up call not another year of school and extended adolescence
will do thank you.
He knows that I've done hard modeling but this is the first time he's seen me do it with other guys
And yeah we are touching each other in the video but barely. We never kiss or anything like that
This take is controversial bc most people won’t understand the perspective of the SA victim being broken up with so I’ll preface it with no matter what you choose you’re not wrong for needing to break up. You should break up with an alcoholic. I just want you to see a perspective from someone who went through heartbreak while dealing with abuse and what can happen.
you don’t deserve to be miserable but as a fellow victim I can tell you breaking up with her while something this monumentally traumatic occurred will literally compound the trauma.
it will make it take longer to heal from than if she were in a normal state of mind and will hurt her a lot. Like more than you can imagine if you didn’t go through it. First you’re broken for a while like all heartbreaks then you’re fine then you’re numb/dissociated then it’s like a tragedy on steroids that I can’t really explain. It’s not at all like regular break ups and lost love bc mentally even when you can think straight you’re not all there, this is because of the PTSD and aftermath. your (her) view of the situation is distorted and you can’t even tell until you’ve healed FROM THE HEALING PROCESS. as in, she won’t have to heal just from the trauma but also heal from the fall out of not being in the right state of mind for the break up leading to her making bad decisions/dwelling etc
She’ll try to deal with both pains at the same time but the reality is one will take precedence over the other and at some point it will switch prolonging it further
Is it possible to wait to break up and force her into rehab until she had a minute to come to terms? Even if not fully healed
Again, NOT your responsibility and you don’t deserve it and you’re NOT the bad guy but just know doing it now will have a butterfly effect on her life and healing.
Took me ten years to get over my abuse and the heartbreak bc I was trying to process lost love/could haves and a life long traumatic experience at the same time consumed by ptsd, guilt, depress, etc. She probably blames herself which grinds healing and coming to terms to a halt.
Breaking up with her now is like ripping off a band aid so sticky it’s fused to the top few layers of skin. It’s going to cause more damage than the normal band aid.
I’m not trying to tell you to stay but I want you to see what is potentially her perspective.
What a disgusting POS would look at that photo and say that? You're gorgeous and look happy and fun to be around. He on the other hand, sounds like a doucheand a drag. He and his friends sound like horrible company.
Because I’ve only had one ex boyfriend and I was a pushover. I’m trying to get better at confrontation, I’m asking for advice on how to bring it up
He has literally said that she did not have permission to spend his money. At all. Not on herself, and certainly not on other people. Why are you making up “may haves” when he has given clear details?
The whole reason he's here is that she spent money that wasn't hers. She broke into his phone using his passcode and did the equivalent of taking his credit card out of his wallet and using it without his consent. That's stealing, by every legal and ethical measure.
I don't know why you think we don't have “the full details”. They're all there if you read.
Depends if you are considering yourselves a household or individuals. If individuals, you should calculate your contributions based on take home pay. If a household, and by which, I mean you consider yourselves jointly working toward maintaining a life together, then it’s a different story. In that case, it may make sense to divide total financial responsibilities proportionately. But that’s a much larger conversation to be had.
Let me fix that for you. I caught my closeted, gay boyfriend on Grindr.
I’m not pressuring him. Like I’ve said I’m not constantly bringing it up
If you are smart you will say “ Go right ahead and fuck all the guys you want. I don’t date selfish cheaters like yourself”
Please read my updated version
Just stop. Stop. It's his party – let him make it happen the way he wants to make it happen.
It's nice of you to want to facilitate things, but at this point you are doing more of this for you (and how you think these things should be done, and coordinated, and whatever) and not hearing him say No.
How do I communicate to him it is important for me to do this? It's not about you, what you are doing is not what he wants.
If it is important to YOU to plan something that YOU plan and it's a YOU thing, then plan something for just the two of you after the trip or whenever. Ge your Plan On for that.
Let it go. It'll play out however it's going to play out.
It sounds like you've done everything you can do. He has to want to change.