If you start from the position of 'I have to accept whatever garbage this guy throws at me and adjust myself to fit his predilections' you might be able to force yourself to dance to his tune for a while. But ultimately (and with some maturity and talk therapy) you'll almost certainly find that you were being untrue to yourself and your basic orientation. It's not uncommon for people who are just too immature to embrace monogamy (as a whole lot of 21m are) to claim a polyamorous orientation rather than to blame the realities of biology and human development. So who knows if in the coming years he'll still have this wanderlust. But what's real now and right in front of you is that you and this guy (as he currently defines himself) are simply incompatible. There's a reason true polyamory is rare and that's because most people are like you, they want one partner devoted only to them. However, in this case you're more likely just dealing with a guy who isn't ready to settle down with one partner than someone who will actually conduct a polyamorous lifestyle forever.
I mean…I alway ask cashiers when I’m checking out how their day is going. I’m just being nice. Some actually want to do a full data dump. Others are more professional. One such cashier I’ve seen quite a bit over the last 2 years. I know about her family and grandkids, she knows about my partner and my horses. I used to take my dog in to say hello and took her herbs from my garden. Before she quit, we exchanged phone numbers.
I don’t do that with everyone to that extent but I know a lot about my dentist, my hygienist, my OBGYN, my physical therapist, my veterinarians both small and large animal, and so forth.
I don't know.
You were out drinking the first moment possible leaving her with a newborn…
I think you two totally worth each other.
If you start from the position of 'I have to accept whatever garbage this guy throws at me and adjust myself to fit his predilections' you might be able to force yourself to dance to his tune for a while. But ultimately (and with some maturity and talk therapy) you'll almost certainly find that you were being untrue to yourself and your basic orientation. It's not uncommon for people who are just too immature to embrace monogamy (as a whole lot of 21m are) to claim a polyamorous orientation rather than to blame the realities of biology and human development. So who knows if in the coming years he'll still have this wanderlust. But what's real now and right in front of you is that you and this guy (as he currently defines himself) are simply incompatible. There's a reason true polyamory is rare and that's because most people are like you, they want one partner devoted only to them. However, in this case you're more likely just dealing with a guy who isn't ready to settle down with one partner than someone who will actually conduct a polyamorous lifestyle forever.
I mean…I alway ask cashiers when I’m checking out how their day is going. I’m just being nice. Some actually want to do a full data dump. Others are more professional. One such cashier I’ve seen quite a bit over the last 2 years. I know about her family and grandkids, she knows about my partner and my horses. I used to take my dog in to say hello and took her herbs from my garden. Before she quit, we exchanged phone numbers.
I don’t do that with everyone to that extent but I know a lot about my dentist, my hygienist, my OBGYN, my physical therapist, my veterinarians both small and large animal, and so forth.
I think you are indeed overthinking it.