Did any of the articles on how to tell if your partner is becoming abusive discuss controlling behavior like monitoring the other partner’s search history?
All healing takes time and that applies to break-ups too. Give yourself a set period of time to really feel your grief – take a couple of days off work, buy some chocolate and wine, watch some trashy movies and cry your heart out. Feel it all, grieve your love, say goodbye.
Then find something to occupy your hours so you're not sitting around by yourself wondering what he's doing. Go for walks and listen to podcasts, join a club, go to the movies. Anything for a change of scenery.
Eventually the hurt will fade. It'll come back with force at some points, like if you hear he's dating someone or if you see him unexpectedly on the street. But hold your head high, don't ever let him see how affected you are, have a cry in private, then move on. Eventually it won't hurt as much. You'll slowly heal until one day you realise you don't miss him at all and you'll be able to remember both the good times and the bad times without rose-tinted glasses.
To be honest, you're better off without someone who can't see that what you did was an act of compassion. You and your family are providing your sister with dignity and comfort when she can't provide it for herself and that is the most selfless act someone can do for another.
Keep caring for your sister and find someone who understands how important it is that you love and care for your sister.
Even if we are intimate again, will it ever be consistent
No relationship will ever be able to promise you sexual consistency. All relationships are ebb and flow.
It is not abnormal that she doesn't want physical intimacy right now. You are allowed to wank, she needs to accept that. Welcome to marriage. Shit is hot.
after 6 weeks postpartum, I started trying to initiate again
Do you really understand that her body endured a major medical? Do you know if she experienced tearing from her vagina to her anus? Do you know if she felt them sew her perineum back up?
Consider that your 20 year old wife definitely feels completely physically and emotionally depleted. Maybe she can't believe you'd start trying to fuck her again 6 weeks after her entire genital area ripped open.
Jerk off, wake up and feed your daughter so your wife doesn't have too.
Yes I wanted to cut the obsessive thoughts so I had therapy every week for 2-3 months and at one point I got lexapro to get over the anxiety issues. But nothing really helped tho.
Yeah but being pregnant isn’t a blank check to excuse asshole behavior. If she’s throwing around comments like she will leave and he will never see his child, that’s pretty fucked up. He shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells all the time and be her servant for her every whim. Yeah he should do a larger workload to make sure she doesn’t over do it, but there’s a point where it becomes excessive
You are not a snowflake. That video is disgusting and anyone who would send it to you is a disturbed individual. Also a friend would not do that to you ever! He was trying to hurt you for who knows what reason but I would cut him out of my life.
Okay so let me get this straight. She's been trying to seperate you both and get with him BEFORE y'all broke up. Then you both break up and 2 weeks after the break up he sleeps with her KNOWING SHE WANTS HIM FROM THE START?? then after you get together he doesn't tell you about it either and YOU FIND OUT THROUGH THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH WHOSE BEEN TRYNNA SEPERATE Y'ALL FROM THE START.
I'd say leave. Choose yourself and your mental health please.
I really appreciate this comment. I’m glad that you bring up the point of it happening all over again because it is a great question. In the past when I try to ask him what his concern for the situation is, he says that he “just can’t trust the guy and doesn’t like me around him”. Which is frustrating because as I stated, there wasn’t a better way in which the situation could be handled so I don’t understand where the lack of trust comes from.
Did any of the articles on how to tell if your partner is becoming abusive discuss controlling behavior like monitoring the other partner’s search history?
All healing takes time and that applies to break-ups too. Give yourself a set period of time to really feel your grief – take a couple of days off work, buy some chocolate and wine, watch some trashy movies and cry your heart out. Feel it all, grieve your love, say goodbye.
Then find something to occupy your hours so you're not sitting around by yourself wondering what he's doing. Go for walks and listen to podcasts, join a club, go to the movies. Anything for a change of scenery.
Eventually the hurt will fade. It'll come back with force at some points, like if you hear he's dating someone or if you see him unexpectedly on the street. But hold your head high, don't ever let him see how affected you are, have a cry in private, then move on. Eventually it won't hurt as much. You'll slowly heal until one day you realise you don't miss him at all and you'll be able to remember both the good times and the bad times without rose-tinted glasses.
You should have used your safe word firstly, secondly, protect yourself and stay safe!
Wow. Libel and slander.
To be honest, you're better off without someone who can't see that what you did was an act of compassion. You and your family are providing your sister with dignity and comfort when she can't provide it for herself and that is the most selfless act someone can do for another.
Keep caring for your sister and find someone who understands how important it is that you love and care for your sister.
Even if we are intimate again, will it ever be consistent
No relationship will ever be able to promise you sexual consistency. All relationships are ebb and flow.
It is not abnormal that she doesn't want physical intimacy right now. You are allowed to wank, she needs to accept that. Welcome to marriage. Shit is hot.
after 6 weeks postpartum, I started trying to initiate again
Do you really understand that her body endured a major medical? Do you know if she experienced tearing from her vagina to her anus? Do you know if she felt them sew her perineum back up?
Consider that your 20 year old wife definitely feels completely physically and emotionally depleted. Maybe she can't believe you'd start trying to fuck her again 6 weeks after her entire genital area ripped open.
Jerk off, wake up and feed your daughter so your wife doesn't have too.
Only you can decide what cheating is. Only you can enforce your boundaries regarding cheating
Even if she hasn't changed her birth control method, our bodies change as we age. Her hormones may be out of whack now that she's a bit older.
Yes I wanted to cut the obsessive thoughts so I had therapy every week for 2-3 months and at one point I got lexapro to get over the anxiety issues. But nothing really helped tho.
I'd just like to caution that this makes the assumption she has access to healthcare or the maturity to pursue.
When I found out I was pregnant at 21, my mom helped me through next steps. I was clueless without her.
Your comment seems valid to me just want to point out that it doesn't give us enough to conclude she was never pregnant
You ask her to say this in response to all men who ask her to go do something – “My boyfriend and I will love to come do that….”
Yeah but being pregnant isn’t a blank check to excuse asshole behavior. If she’s throwing around comments like she will leave and he will never see his child, that’s pretty fucked up. He shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells all the time and be her servant for her every whim. Yeah he should do a larger workload to make sure she doesn’t over do it, but there’s a point where it becomes excessive
You are not a snowflake. That video is disgusting and anyone who would send it to you is a disturbed individual. Also a friend would not do that to you ever! He was trying to hurt you for who knows what reason but I would cut him out of my life.
Okay so let me get this straight. She's been trying to seperate you both and get with him BEFORE y'all broke up. Then you both break up and 2 weeks after the break up he sleeps with her KNOWING SHE WANTS HIM FROM THE START?? then after you get together he doesn't tell you about it either and YOU FIND OUT THROUGH THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH WHOSE BEEN TRYNNA SEPERATE Y'ALL FROM THE START.
I'd say leave. Choose yourself and your mental health please.
I really appreciate this comment. I’m glad that you bring up the point of it happening all over again because it is a great question. In the past when I try to ask him what his concern for the situation is, he says that he “just can’t trust the guy and doesn’t like me around him”. Which is frustrating because as I stated, there wasn’t a better way in which the situation could be handled so I don’t understand where the lack of trust comes from.
You also didnt clear your name
Just over a year
Thank you so much for this. I know now what to do.
It's a far sight better than the shit you get up to. I don't think you're in a position to be telling what she can and can't do.