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Date: October 22, 2022
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OP, you need to talk to an attorney immediately before more baby mommas (if any) come out of the woodwork. Who knows how many more women this man has raw dogged? Will the state come after him for owed child support for the existing children? Since you’re married to him, could you possibly be on the hook for it? Feelings aside, a legal professional is a must. Personally though, I’d get out, because he sounds like a mess.
How is the other dynamic of the relationship ? Who pays dates , trips , food etc ?
Absolutely, she doesn't believe me though.
It should do more than just bother you. It's a crime. Your partner has taken photographs of multiple women's hot bodies, including yours, without their consent and has them stored on multiple devices for his own enjoyment.
I suggest you take this very seriously because this is predatory behaviour and your boyfriend has broken the law.
There’s no real point in dragging on the relationship any longer if you’re no longer romantically attached.
5 years is a long time, but there’s no shame in ending it so you can move on and find happiness in a romantic way.
If he doesn’t take no for an answer, you may have to block him for a bit so he can let it truly sink in.
Thank you for the advice, you've put my thoughts and feelings into words/a plan of action. I've been planning on bringing it up with her, just wasn't sure how I'd go about without causing any unnecessary confusion or misunderstandings on either end
Leave him. Not because he did anything wrong or because you did. You two aren’t sexually compatible. It may seem like something simple you can sacrifice now but (more than likely) given enough time you will grow to resent him for making you change.
They are not very exact.
Imagine having to come to a relationship advice forum to take shots at people who are asking for help to feel better about yourself.
Would you have kids with this man, and trust him to accept them no matter who they are?
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If you knew what you wanted, then your judgement would be better.
Playing the field has it's limits in getting to know yourself and others. And if you play it too much, you will end up jaded & dillusioned. Speeding a process up doesn't necessarily make it more efficient. And that you keep on attracting the same unwanted type (etc), is illustrating the limits in how much you're actually learning (or being able to properly concentrate on people) in this current approach.
Contemplation, streamlining and decisiveness really have a lot going for them. You can't concentrate on scoring a the right kind of goal if you're juggling loads of balls.
Anyways. You do you. Best of luck.
I’m not a professional but I would definitely say yes. I can’t stand to watch porn for more than like, a half hour (I’m also a female just FYI). And when I do watch porn, it’s not often, definitely not daily, either. How did this conversation come up? How does he even have time for that?
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Your mum is correct.
Exact thing happened to me he slowly turned more and more abusive because he was “forced” to talk to me and he didn't want to. Please break up with him I promise it's not worth it.
I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this, two weeks of being an arsehole vs 8 months of being honestly my best friend. I might give him another week and see if I can find out what’s really up.
Your husband is cheating on you. Wtf?
Bffr
Okay I talked to him again. He doesn’t care about me at all. Not at all. He’s into being nice to soothe his own conscience. I’m gutted. Fml how did I get involved with this loser
You need to explain to this clown that people who exclusively sleep with each other and have romantic feelings to each other are generally referred to as boyfriend and girlfriend, or something along those lines, in the society you are both living and that he should stop behaving like a 5 year old.
Just because you've been friends for years does not make you good boyfriend/ girlfriend material. Just because your kids adore him doesn't make him a good partner. The fact that you are depressed and you are financially supporting everything and you are doing all of the mental and physical load is all that it takes to get rid of a relationship and the fact that he's nice and doesn't cheat shouldn't ever be what you pin your hopes on in a relationship.
Agreed! It really sounds like she's holding onto the pain rather than than deal with it in an mature way.
Your wife is pregnant and you cheated on her with a coworker that you’ve been hanging out with in your free time instead of spending time with your wife?
Now that you’ve realized you’ve probably blown up your entire marriage and family you’re feeling too guilty to be intimate with your wife?
Does that sum it up?
It’s worse imo. models get paid for their time by actively providing a service to a company for profit off of branding. porn stars get paid for men to have their attention directly. they are basically virtual hookers
Or he picked up the costume and left it at her house and she brought it to him because they wouldn’t be in class soon enough for her to grab it when she needs it
Also, I was wondering. What do you mean with: 'as long as she doesn't become dependent'? How would I recognize such a thing?
She approached him. What do you want him to do, not even talk to women that approach him now?
If she's not a shitty person, she'll shut that shit down when that guy tries to smash.
happened about 4 years ago I’ve honesty never gotten over it
I cannot understand why you are still married then. Seems absolutely pointless.
If she was abused as a child, it's probably less likely she would have lied about being raped to cover cheating. If anything, her repressed memories would be about the abuse in childhood to protect her when she was a child.
You haven't been seeing the posts recently about guys getting falsely accused of sexual assault or abuse, have you? The idea of 'trust every woman' went down in flames when the woman that little ditty was created to support turned out to be a liar.
I’m very confused by that answer, I thought that’s implied when you’re dating for a few months
She can go out and chat with any of her friends but i cant with mine because she doesnt like them.
Does this sound like an equal relationship to you?
I will shut her down completely when she talks to me again. I gave her some hope because I really don’t want to have it in my consciousness that I ended her because I didn’t give her a sliver of hope. I’m honestly scared she’s threatened to do it before but now she’s abusing substances and I’m scared she’s serious.
Anyone who gives me flowers, I'll tell them I'd rather have equal pay. It's a day to campaign for women's rights, not a Valentines day part 2 focussing only on the woman.
Keep records of everything, especially his threats. If he does try to go to the police you'll have all the proof you need that he's a psychopath and a liar. If he wants to go to court you can embarrass him in front of everyone.
He doesn't have a leg to stand on with threatening the police. Defamation doesn't even involve police, it's a civil matter (meaning lawsuit). Plus you have all this proof. He would lose even more.
GTFOH
Report her to HR before anyone can get there first. Take a coworker that will back you up to meeting. When that is done block her. Do not do it before because it may tip her off. Good luck.
Yeah, maybe time to take sometime apart and decide what to do.
He's probably still hung up about his ex and the reaction he gave you is already quite telling.
You saw a post asking for help and mocked the poster in your response. Hardly a kind move. Then you went after OP again because they snapped at you in response to your rudeness and you went for something you assumed would hurt the most based on what was shared in the post. That’s pretty nasty, angry behavior. If that’s just how you interact with people when your emotions are neutral that’s also pretty disturbing and deserving of professional help.
Nah… I’ve seen people high on coke… he made a huge scene bc he’s an AH… don’t blame his behavior on the drug…
Don’t ignore the red flags. He most likely did cocaine, he embarrassed you and blew up on you.
I would like your SO’s perspective here. Do they think that “long, heartfelt discussions” are all that is required to manage their feelings surrounding your illness, diagnosis, and required care?
That doesn't sound in any way romantic to me. A supercar that you like and going to the mall??? I'm a car person, well, more specifically trucks, but my first thought is where is she putting the stuff she had to hoof it around the mall to get in a McLaren?
Straight to HR. This is sexual harassment.
Could do a mass email too. Maybe something to the effect of “I know there is an office bet going on among some employees. Not only is this unprofessional, no one will be winning said bet.”
“Hey isn’t this chick hot? She looks kinda like you…”
He needs to be responsible for his own recovery. Deep down he knows this, he just doesn’t want to take accountability. I would tell him this and kindly suggest that he looks into receiving mental health treatment for his addiction.
I don't personally think it's an overreaction. The way family treats you on day one is an indicator of how much (or little) they respect you and your SO as a potential addition.
My mom and i were fighting literally days before my boyfriend came to meet her for the first time and she pulled her shit together for him. My step dad offered him good food and a beer. My siblings came out to talk to him.
We're hispanic and we get into petty fights sometimes, but they respect me and my partner. Anything but positive and welcoming behavior would get a FIRM reaction from me. I don't recommend that anyone enter a relationship with someone whose family so clearly bulldozes over them.
I know that he is straight, and just recently broke up with a girlfriend so is currently single, which does add to my concern.
We have gotten physical two out of three times he’s stayed over. We haven’t gone on dates yet and we haven’t discussed what we’re wanting which is why I’m kinda stuck on what to do! I definitely regret not asking what he was looking for right from the start.
That’s where the open communication with the spouse needs to happen, and boundaries need to be clearly set and understood by both partners. My partner and I have those clear boundaries in place that we both agree on.
Oh God love you. I’m so sorry.
Dude give it a rest, we have already agreed to disagree. You seem to think free speech is limited (not free) I don't.
I guess he just needed a new notch on his bed frame. He likes the hunt but discards his prey afterwards. You were just one of many… Block him. He's not worth it.
Yes this reply encapsulates everything I wanted to say. That kind of behaviour is unreasonable and very draining. My first husband queried everything I did and was constantly accusing me of things I hadn’t done at all. It wore me down. I’m remarried now to a man who never does that, and neither do I. It’s so peaceful and happy now.
That’s my concern about her being around when I try to bring the gf to family stuff
I’ve gotten treated already.
Quick fix, get a paint pen and paint in the chips.
Other than that, be honest with her that she’s being mean and you don’t like it. Cars are not a status symbol to you, so you don’t feel the need to replace/upgrade. If she keeps it up, dump her.
What does this even say?
You think your girlfriend cheated because somebody said she was cute? Dude. ?