Of course she's mad at you, you insulted her – on purpose. You don't even regret doing so, you're just trying to justify it.
And of course she has more disposable income to spend and spends more time with friends… that's literally true of everyone before having a baby.
Your problem is that you think you get to tell your wife what HER values are. She get's to set her own personal priorities. She says she wants to have a child after getting married – which is pretty common – and you essentially told her no she doesn't she likes shopping and girltime more. Like, holy shit that's insulting – and I doubt you even see it.
Maybe try not being so patronizing her and tell her the truth which is that YOU want to wait a few years because YOU don't feel ready. Or tell her you aren't going to want kids, or whatever it is now. Let her plan for her future – she's an adult.
He was looking for a momma, you were looking for a baby boy. Subconsciously but you're still reliving what your father taught you. I'm sorry about that.
If your boyfriend won’t allow you to have/hug male friends, he is not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Period. You should throw yourself a party and make a Tinder account.
I think you need to push for more answers from him. He's getting off too easy over very weird behavior. What was obvious in that bed chatting situation? Can he elaborate on that so it doesn't happen again?
Ask him if his needs for affection have changed. If you're missing cues that his mood isn't great. Basically, make him explain himself.
I know your love for him feels like everything, and I don't want to invalidate that….BUT as a 46 year old lady, I have to tell you to not give up any career/personal growth opportunities at 21 for any guy. You are young and have so much growing to do. Relationships can come and go. At your age, let them. I'm sure he is great and wonderful, but this time of your life you need to take chances and jump on new experiences. If it is meant to be, it will work out. But every step you take will lead to more possibilities. Please please don't limit your experiences for anyone. Like , if I could go back in time and tell my younger self anything, it would be this
I also think i should tell him that his jokes about my food were the same way. Not to fight back but for him to realize. Specially because tortillas and their combinations have an historical meaning in my culture. So i will let him know that even tho I’m not hurt, if he thought i was racist then his jokes have the same implications so we should stop joking about it. I think the only way will be to avoid joking about our cultural differences.
You’re so freaking kind! I could really use a friend like you. And it’s a bit rough cause I started out liking my body but now I’ve questioned just how great I can be if my own boyfriend wasn’t just satisfied with me but needed so much more all the time 🙁
No matter how good they are at coparenting and being around, if either of them have partners, you should not sleep over. Everyone should wrap gifts and gtfo back to their partner.
I’m separated from my kid’s mom if that helps with validity at all.
You're totally right 15 is a lot and she definitely doesn't see sex the same way as you do. I understand your position and wouldn't date her either.
Other comments, ffs can you accept another opinion? Maybe he's insecure so what? I wouldn't want to be compared to 15 men, I wouldn't want to be just another guy on her list. I want to have sex with someone I find special, if she doesn't find me special in return it rly sucks.
In any case he didn't disrespect her but you disrespect him so you suck and I'm annoyed
Felony- huge red flag, dealbreaker for tons of people. Parents don’t like him- also a red flag. Him trying to coerce you into changing jobs when you don’t want to- more red flags. In summary, nothing but red flags here.
You seen his card? Does he have a website? 3 photos shoots and no pictures?
Does your wife work? Why is his schedule so tight?
A photographer will shoot over 100 pictures in a shoot…. you take your wife to go see him and tell him on front of her that if he doesn't show you the photos (with at least 3 different outfits) not only are you divorcing, you'll post his name and the story of what he did everywhere. Doubt anyone wants a photographer that takes advantage of there models.
How do you get her to stop asking? Propose to her, if that's what you really want. You've already said that you are planning to propose, so what is the issue? She is (rightfully) getting impatient because 5 years is a long time to date somebody. Is the issue really that she is “pressuring” you, or is it that you don't want to marry her? Be honest with yourself.
He didn’t bring up my past I just wrote about it because Reddit has a lot of sexist people and I wanted it to be clear I never cheated or disrespected the relationship prior
Yes ghost her and block her no contact is the only way to go
You should feel good. Your values don't align. Maybe other values don't. It sucks it's new it's change but embrace it. It's a good thing
Oh so you met there? You didn't move to be near him? How far Is your hometown from his,?
Of course she's mad at you, you insulted her – on purpose. You don't even regret doing so, you're just trying to justify it.
And of course she has more disposable income to spend and spends more time with friends… that's literally true of everyone before having a baby.
Your problem is that you think you get to tell your wife what HER values are. She get's to set her own personal priorities. She says she wants to have a child after getting married – which is pretty common – and you essentially told her no she doesn't she likes shopping and girltime more. Like, holy shit that's insulting – and I doubt you even see it.
Maybe try not being so patronizing her and tell her the truth which is that YOU want to wait a few years because YOU don't feel ready. Or tell her you aren't going to want kids, or whatever it is now. Let her plan for her future – she's an adult.
He was looking for a momma, you were looking for a baby boy. Subconsciously but you're still reliving what your father taught you. I'm sorry about that.
If your boyfriend won’t allow you to have/hug male friends, he is not emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Period. You should throw yourself a party and make a Tinder account.
I think you need to push for more answers from him. He's getting off too easy over very weird behavior. What was obvious in that bed chatting situation? Can he elaborate on that so it doesn't happen again?
Ask him if his needs for affection have changed. If you're missing cues that his mood isn't great. Basically, make him explain himself.
I hope this is a troll. If not, OP, you’re a fucking idiot if you haven’t broken up with her already.
I know your love for him feels like everything, and I don't want to invalidate that….BUT as a 46 year old lady, I have to tell you to not give up any career/personal growth opportunities at 21 for any guy. You are young and have so much growing to do. Relationships can come and go. At your age, let them. I'm sure he is great and wonderful, but this time of your life you need to take chances and jump on new experiences. If it is meant to be, it will work out. But every step you take will lead to more possibilities. Please please don't limit your experiences for anyone. Like , if I could go back in time and tell my younger self anything, it would be this
I also think i should tell him that his jokes about my food were the same way. Not to fight back but for him to realize. Specially because tortillas and their combinations have an historical meaning in my culture. So i will let him know that even tho I’m not hurt, if he thought i was racist then his jokes have the same implications so we should stop joking about it. I think the only way will be to avoid joking about our cultural differences.
You’re so freaking kind! I could really use a friend like you. And it’s a bit rough cause I started out liking my body but now I’ve questioned just how great I can be if my own boyfriend wasn’t just satisfied with me but needed so much more all the time 🙁
No matter how good they are at coparenting and being around, if either of them have partners, you should not sleep over. Everyone should wrap gifts and gtfo back to their partner.
I’m separated from my kid’s mom if that helps with validity at all.
You're totally right 15 is a lot and she definitely doesn't see sex the same way as you do. I understand your position and wouldn't date her either.
Other comments, ffs can you accept another opinion? Maybe he's insecure so what? I wouldn't want to be compared to 15 men, I wouldn't want to be just another guy on her list. I want to have sex with someone I find special, if she doesn't find me special in return it rly sucks.
In any case he didn't disrespect her but you disrespect him so you suck and I'm annoyed
You’re not racist.
Felony- huge red flag, dealbreaker for tons of people. Parents don’t like him- also a red flag. Him trying to coerce you into changing jobs when you don’t want to- more red flags. In summary, nothing but red flags here.
I always liked letters because when I second guess myself I always have something physical I can look at again
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You seen his card? Does he have a website? 3 photos shoots and no pictures?
Does your wife work? Why is his schedule so tight?
A photographer will shoot over 100 pictures in a shoot…. you take your wife to go see him and tell him on front of her that if he doesn't show you the photos (with at least 3 different outfits) not only are you divorcing, you'll post his name and the story of what he did everywhere. Doubt anyone wants a photographer that takes advantage of there models.
How do you get her to stop asking? Propose to her, if that's what you really want. You've already said that you are planning to propose, so what is the issue? She is (rightfully) getting impatient because 5 years is a long time to date somebody. Is the issue really that she is “pressuring” you, or is it that you don't want to marry her? Be honest with yourself.
This
He didn’t bring up my past I just wrote about it because Reddit has a lot of sexist people and I wanted it to be clear I never cheated or disrespected the relationship prior