None of this is about being a “leader”. Socially it's about etiquette. Both of you could probably stand to ask more questions and do more listening during social events. You (both) sound kind of tiresome, and I wonder if you monopolize conversations.
With the two of you, ask specific questions of her. When you call, say how much time you have.
Have you ever tried talking about spicing up the intercourse? Toys, positions, etc.?
None of this is about being a “leader”. Socially it's about etiquette. Both of you could probably stand to ask more questions and do more listening during social events. You (both) sound kind of tiresome, and I wonder if you monopolize conversations.
With the two of you, ask specific questions of her. When you call, say how much time you have.