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SQUIRTTTTT [GOAL MET]
Date: October 17, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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He’s showing abusive behavior, time to cut and run.
Damn he’s got less and less In the way of “excuses”, he wants his cake and eat it hey! Are you going to clear the air before Christmas?
These are major red flags and you are still with him. So when are you going to choose yourself to care for and let him take care of himself?
Does she text the hearts and smiley faces to everyone? Does she purchase gifts for children of friends/family you spend time with for achievements? Does she text others multiple times a day?
Sounds kuje gis wife has been attempting to enforce some boundaries, and your wife may be ignoring them. Is she comfortable with you texting her coworker,
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Yep, I completely agree. Hopefully OP learns that from this experience and can approach it in a better way if it comes to it in the future.
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updateme!
No it’s because she accused him of doing it.
You are her new back-up plan.
Do with that what you will.
Well, they disappear for long periods of time. Sure, everyone's got their own things going on, but I don't see the difficulty in checking up on your friends even when you have your own things going on, y'kno?
Problem is, I still make the time for them, but they don't seem to do the same for me, which honestly gives off the impression that they don't care enough.
He might realize in a few years when he's not as immature.
I'd also point out to you, that a two-year difference is not 'dating a younger man' when the ages are 21 and 23.
So thats what a lot of abuse victims say…”it wasnt ALL bad! they were really nice a lot of the time!”. Well, thats how toxic/abusive ppl get away with it for so long…bc they show a great face in the beginning so the victim thinks that first, nice face is the real one and are always trying to get that person back, not realizing that it was a façade and the mean/unstable/etc face is actually the real one. I suggest looking into the cycle of abuse for a deeper understanding on this phenomenon.
she wouldn’t communicate her frustrations, she would be blunt with me, and in the end I would need to apologise even if I wasn’t in the wrong
So, bottling her emotions til she blew up on you is bad. You apologizing even when you werent wrong leads me to believe that she was probably gaslighting you, which is a form of emotional abuse.
when I went away to visit friends/family or even go abroad, she would go off with me and not talk properly
Thats a huge indicator that she was trying to isolate you. In a healthy relationship with a stable partner, partners are happy for their significant other to see their friends and family. She is incredibly insecure and seems like she used the silent treatment as a means to punish you for behavior she didnt like, even though you werent doing anything wrong.
it would end up with me being upset because of the constant HOT/COLD
Yeahhhh, constant back and forth, on and off, hard and cold….thats very common in abusive relationships. The victim is left on shaky ground, wondering what it is they did wrong, fighting to make the toxic one happy again.
she breaks up with me over message. I ended up having the best holiday after that, I have to be honest.
You having a blast right after being broken up with indicates that you felt a level of relief from being parted from her. It tells me that her presence in your life was overall more of a negative than a positive (though to be clear, no amount of positives can make up for abuse. Thats simply not how that works).
she kept focusing on the length of time I waited for them outside (I was there for hours but she thinks I was outside for 30 mins which I don’t understand why it matters).
She was looking for literally any tiny reason to make you the bad guy once again. There is no “winning” with ppl like this, and a relationship shouldnt be about winning and losing to begin with. It should be two people fighting TOGETHER against the problem, not against each other.
I had been honest, loyal and respectful throughout our relationship and when I said this she gave me a look as if I was lying, which hurt me.
Her issues have nothing to do with you. Pathologically, she would see any partner as being against her. Ppl with her issues have a tendency to greatly fear abandonment and are deeply insecure in themselves as well as their attachments to others but instead on working on strengthening those bonds, they self-sabotage by fucking shit up themselves before others even get a chance to do them wrong. They simultaneously have a victim complex while being the instigator themselves.
She is likely unaware of the toxic mechanisms she's been using. She doesnt do it intentionally to harm others, its just her go-to way of operating, so she does all this messed up stuff and then cries about how everyone always leaves her. She needs professional help from a BPD specialist and she has to be willing to really put in the work before things will start to turn around for her. Unfortunately, none of that will happen before she's ready to acknowledge her misdeeds and take accountability. Its not your fault, you cant save her. There's nothing you could have done differently to change how things were going.
I have to ask. What do you think you’ll accomplish by not spending time with your wife on Valentines? And what are you trying to accomplish by spending that day with someone else?
If you’re trying to get “revenge” or “payback”, what’s the end goal? So, she finally sees you two have drifted apart? Or is the end goal you want to dissolve the marriage?
Try to answer those questions and then communicate that to your wife (in a respectful and healthy manner).
If you want to work on your marriage than you’re going to need open honest communication with your wife. You’ll probably need some couple counseling as well.
Hoes are gonna hoe what can I say , we see it everyday in this sub ??♂️
Hoes are gonna hoe what can I say , we see it everyday in this sub ??♂️
Ex used deflect. It’s super effective.
Tf? His supervisor ain't gonna tell any random ass person shit let alone over some dumb insecurity
On the sisters end, it makes me think she noticed some red flags about him, tried to talk to her younger sister about it, only to be shot down all the time with excuses for him, or coming from him. She probably felt this was the only way to wake OP up and get her head out of the sand.
Snorted aloud at the “collector’s series” comment. Sorry OP, I hope you can get to the bottom of this. Or get out and live! your best life.
You address it by leaving
Secure relationships aren’t controlling and his issues should not become your issues
Trust is everything in a relationship and if you’ve given him no reason not to trust you I fear this will only get worse if he doesn’t go into therapy
It’s time to get out now before he becomes physically abusive
Going back 10 years on his profile just to find if he has a partner when hes clearly not comfortable disclosing that with you is creepy. Leave him alone.
I was thinking this sounded like an autism meltdown
How can he earn your trust back?
Did he explain why “it wasn't a good idea” for you to come hang out?
If the truth is so dark it would destroy you and your dad, then perhaps that’s why she’s reacting like this and not spilling the beans. Have you considered that? Have you considered how harsh it is that you are criticising her for saying nothing when actually she could be protecting you from something far worse even though it means destroying her life.
Perhaps she is so traumatised from what happened she can’t even begin to speak about it. Mental health conditions such as split personality disorder have a link with trauma and so you shouldn’t judge her inability to speak about this as meaning she is guilty.
You describe her as such a happily married woman, do you really think an affair is really the likely scenario?
I would ask her gently in a way that indicates that you would believe her – because many assault victims are terrified of not being believed.
Maybe you could say:
“Mum, I have been thinking about this and how happy you have always seemed with Dad and how much you are struggling with this. It seems so unlikely that you had an affair… we’re you assaulted mum? Please tell me and maybe we can work through this together. Or you can speak to someone else, a counsellor or something if you don’t want to speak to me but I’m just desperate to know what is going on with you. I love you.”
Break up with her. Trust me its not worth it. Don’t torture yourself over her. These so called platonic guy friend end up sleeping with them.
My dude, whatever point you thought you were making you missed the mark.
You should have told that controlling freak to fuck off the first time he tried to act like a jealous nut. Why on earth do you wish you hadn’t broken up with this creature?
I think most of the relationship advice questions that get this much attention are from trolls, thats why they are so interesting and hitting all the rage bait.
You just said she’s calculating and found you spend more than her on other things. If you two really do shake out even in terms of expenses, I understand why she’s nickel diming you. You must be insufferable about money spending habits so she is showing you with evidence.
During those 2 weeks, you were easily forgotten
I was talking about how you worded it. Dismissing someone by saying “they feel a bit used”, where “used” is in quotation marks shows how you actually feel about it.
They should talk about what to do for her to not feel like this. But she explained how she feels, you literally repeated it – she feels used.
Tell him how you feel. Do what makes you feel better and confident. If it isn't him, end it. Take care of you.
Your post is all about how you’re struggling over what you found out but ok you aren’t “upset” about it. Lol