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Lavinia, 25 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Lavinia
Date: January 17, 2023
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Well, I'm glad that helps! The stigma placed on you as a man regarding sex is not easy to break from, so I understand why it would feel scary and overwhelming to tell a sex partner about what the stigma says is ewbadfail. There's nothing wrong with you. People need different levels of support. I'm really glad you were able to find, and advocate, for the support you needed to have fulfilling sex.
Lmao. K.
I think sexual compatibility is fundamental to a lasting relationship. 4 years is a long time to now have an issue with it.
She told me she’s planning on getting me multiple gifts over time, so that’s really sweet.
Friend, let's be real here – in todays world of Amazon, Etsy and more there's very little excuse to say you “didn't have time”, but even then to plan ahead and just get a bathrobe only is still bad.
I'm pretty sure most of those with partners will agree – Birthdays etc you kinda know are coming and you plan accordingly. That she hasn't even done this and is “busy with work” says something.
You don't give gifts “over time”, you do them on the day or their meaning is diluted to being pointless and effortless unless there's a damn good reason.
She’ll make comments about me getting her gifts being the bare minimum and my job as her bf
That's garbage. Your “job” as a partner is to be a good partner – that doesn't mean you need to get her gifts, she just wants gifts. How often to you get gifts in return? This sounds like a very one-sided relationship so far given you spent over $500+ and she's barely spent $30 on you.
Bottom line is if you're happy with this arrangement not being equal? You do you – but from the outside with the info in your original post, this reads as unbalanced and you're being taken for anything you'll give.
Oh, and obviously, don't show up yourself.
This is what I was thinking, too. I'm also wondering whether the girlfriend feels like OP doesn't listen to her. There's nothing in the post to indicate either way, so I might be way off the mark here, but one reasonable explanation for the GF's reaction might be that she has been overwhelmed with work for a while and communicated this to OP when they're at home. Maybe she feels she's not doing as good a job as she'd like, or she's constantly behind on all her stuff, or whatever it is. But while a surprise spa day can certainly be nice, I can see why the GF would be frustrated by it because it really only makes her job problems worse because it takes time away from getting her head above water at work. I'd certainly be very frustrated if I had communicated some issue to my partner (if she indeed had done this), and they do something that is supposed to be a nice gesture, but really only makes my initial issue worse.
It might be worth thinking about, OP. If my take is right your GF is probably right now feeling pretty frustrated that she has a BF who doesn't listen to her. She told him she was overwhelmed at work, and he responded by doing something that made the issue worse (even though the intentions were good). Also, an additional tip – if your GF feels overwhelmed, the gestures that will truly be well received and appreciated are the ones that will subtract from her stress, not add to it. Maybe you could pick up a bit more of the chores for a while until she feels better, or offer her massages at home, or buy her bath bombs, candles, and a bottle of red wine and tell her to pamper herself for an hour or so with a relaxing bath while you vacuum the living room and make dinner.
But now I’m second guessing and questioning myself like maybe he didn’t say the work “break”. It’s crazy!
2 questions that I see people have asked you repeatedly and you actively avoid addressing them:
Why did you pick a work day for a spa surprise instead of a weekend or when she is off work? If she has a “rough patch” at work, how the hell is this supposed to benefit her professionally?
Why and how are you close with her coworkers/boss? Being cordial is one thing, being on good terms and hanging out is something completely else.
It seems to me like you did this for your own benefit and not for your girlfriend. Your post and comment history screams that you surprised her to stop her from “nagging” you about being romantic and expecting praise for being so thoughful (when you absolutely were not).
Amen! I can't imagine what a woman would want to get out of JP, other than being told she's inferior to all men.
Thank you.
She deserves a chance to online on her own and do her own Adulting before committing to a long-term relationship with someone. If this scares you then maybe your relationship isn't that strong. But don't try to stop her from growing and maturing on her own.
fr. hate to be the “if the roles were reversed!!!” kinda guy, but imagine if we were talking about a nineteen year old girl doing all the work for a 26yo man and now this man wants to convince her to raise a baby she doesn’t want… nah.
You got raped under quite a few countries laws
It's not a scam if you know what you're doing.
It’s a completely valid opinion to be against rape being used in entertainment. And a weird thing to spend so much energy defending.
Find someone who can legally drink.
Thank you for helping me realize that, i think it is my own insecurities acting up and I think it may be because I'm not comfortable enough in my own body to go that far w someone else? I really do love her and ur right u shouldn't focus on the superficial stuff
Thats the way I see it too. I don’t want to see him wrecked
Girl if you go back to him, your child is going to think this is how healthy relationships work and it is sooooo far from the way healthy relationships work.
Yeah, we do. Who doesn't wanna feel loved physically in a relationship? We don't have it easy when it comes to sex. We can be not wanted by every other woman in the world, we wanna be wanted at home.
I already wrote back to your first comment. This is still your life. Only yours. You get to decide what to do. How you feel. What you want. Not us on Reddit and not anyone else. And if you don't know the answers then take a step back and do what you have to do to find your centre again.
Hmm you don’t remember much of that night. How do you know you weren’t raped?
Don't do it. This is just meaningless.
He has different intentions and you seek out to exploit it for yourself and then leave.
There’s technically nothing wrong with what you wrote but strategy wise you weren’t going to get anything but drama from it. He’s a shit human so he was likely never going to abide by your expectations and boundaries, and he certainly won’t now if he does turn up. You’d have been better off just saying this shit in person to him if he attempted to speak to you that day.
Please get out. They’re treating you like a bang maid and not like a girlfriend. Find someone who is better for you.
Bro, if you're engaging in kink both parties have to be aware of it and there's gotta be negotiation and safe words. What he did wasn't cool.
You are 100% right! Im just affraid of leaving people.
I’m glad you are going to help yourself get over your sexualization of her friendships.
I know that men are raised to basically never connect with other humans on an emotional or comforting level until they have a girlfriend but that is some messed up toxicity.
Physical touch is bonding and not automatically sexual. And being bi doesn’t mean any of your girlfriends friend are into her. Just like you’re not into every girl you ever meet.
I hope you hug your dude friends and start breaking down these boring boundaries that just isolate people. Humans are social beings and we thrive off more hugs, more touch, more connection.
I agree. I might be giving him too much credit thinking he regrets putting her thru it.
Maybe he's just angry he doesnt get to do it.
Are you there on a visa? Could you get a work visa? Or have you looked for work that is remote? Meaning have your own income so you could be independent.
It's not fair for him to expect to have a social circle. Moving somewhere where you no one is hot…know from experience. He had one to start with. So he doesn't include you on the weekend?
I coped by working a lot, and exploring the area. The good thing is if you like food, architecture, art, museums, you are in a great place to explore.
But how your BF is treating you sucks.
If it is beyond terrible, could take what precious to you and leave?
But I don't like brand new “good” ones either.
Our loved ones online through us, reflect him in your thoughts and actions and he will never truly be gone.
No don't do it
Surprise surprise, another poster arguing with everyone in the comments
Everyone in the comments is apparently illiterate or insane. How did you mutants read this post where her boyfriend groveled for this other girl to fuck him and come to the conclusion OP is the problem?
My niece had an emotional support pet ( cat) in her dorm. I felt bad for her roommates. They did not deserve that. But they never said anything and my selfish niece bossed them around. I had to replace one roommate’s coffee maker but that was about it.
It is very selfish of your roommate to even have the pet let alone go away and sit up with her BF for five days while you take care of it.
He can spend hers if she adds him to her bank account though. Since he doesn’t take issue with this fraud, I doubt he’d have a problem draining her account without even looking at what he’s spending.