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Lehlapluh, y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: November 1, 2022
Time for you to find some new D
Not quite sure about the purpose for your post.
You give no position of your own on this behavior.
You also do not suggest what you think is the natural consequence
to this persons behavior.
Whats this really about?
Absolutely correct!!!
Alright Genghis Khan. Seriously though, it just sounds like you have a breeding fetish which is all well and good to be playing along with, but don’t actually bring any children into this. Any hypothetical kids aren’t consenting to having an absent father, just because you wanted to get your rocks off. Find a way to explore your fetish safely.
I don’t want to patronize you, but since you aptly pointed it out, I would be remiss to suggest you’re not being naive.
Roughly 2% of high school relationships make it through college. That’s not meant to scare you but to point out reality. But like anything else, there are exceptions to every rule. My high school girlfriend and I broke up after roughly a month into me going away to school. I’m now quite happily married with someone else.
My younger brother met his now-wife at 15 and they have a baby on the way. You just never know, but you need to level set expectations.
You’re also only a few months in. You logically barely know each other from a relationship perspective. This is also a situation that’s possibly happening eight months from now. You might want to see where you are closer to that point before planning your future.
It’s ok to just be direct and tell her how you feel. It actually might be helpful to understand where her head’s at. Good luck.
Happy birthday! Also welcome to California. If your in the northern area I hope you enjoy the forests. If you in SoCal, be careful driving. We really don’t know how to drive in the rain.
Thank you so much!! I will keep this resource in my mind. And it’s good that it does multiple countries, we are moving out of the USA soon! It will be very helpful. Much love and happy holidays if you celebrate anything ❤️❤️
According to her I have to watch how I ask questions of others because using questioning words like “Why” is “accusatory language”.
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I mean then there's nothing I can do other than cut them off anyway
They've been good friends to me as well but I think times have changed – we've grown apart.
At the same time I've definitely had my unpleasant traits you know. I just need to be a bit calmer. Like I could have left that night and dealt with it properly later but I get so anxious so this is a learning experience. My communication as well is sometimes a lot to take in because I'm so arghhhhh anxious inside me. But I'm learning how to calmly deal with it.
I think I've told them all to sleep together or date if that's what they want. I mean, he did hit on them a few times so I don't want to tell the girls something like hey, don't do it because ultimately, he wants them. What can I do
I don't want to EVER get in anyone's way basically
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On the next episode of Criminal Minds.
Yeah, the prior part about it being an expression of pleasure (and involuntary) is much more usual and was probably a sufficient explanation on its own (I assume its the norm anyway…Ideally couples can communicate effectively and bypass the “need” to fake it!)
Impossible to say. I know a lot of people would treat it as a deal breaker to do during a relationship, but that’s more from the angle of it feeling cheating adjacent.
Buddy you hyper focus on a certain definition on a topic whicv you are speaking about and when others don't align with it, you just say “Well akchually ??” The worst thing is that you just can't admit it, you just deflect here and you just can't accept it, you're trying to fight it. It's like you'd invite a girl over a d when you make a move on her and she refuses, you would start to debate her on why you were right to make a move on because of the signals you got from her. Just learn to say “Ok, interesting, I'll keep that in my mind” Instead of trying to come out from every conversation as the winner. That is insuferable, I have first hand experience and have no patience for it and you partner seems to agree with me
I dunno man, I've read your replies and you're arguing against some very good advice. I think you really need to take a good look at yourself and decide what it is you want from life. Right now, you're feeding this need to question any fact you're unsure of, instead of doing the naked (but very rewarding) work of learning how to communicate healthily with your partner. Btw, I don't think you're a jackass, but I do think you have an ego that need to be checked. When you boil it down, this is all about your need to be correct. All of these issues stem from you yourself thinking that being correct is the most important thing here. No wonder your partners feel alienated and unheard my guy, you need to look at this situation from the outside without interjecting your personal feelings. Hell, do the bare minimum of putting yourself in your partners shoes and think about how it feels to be questioned, doubted, and corrected by someone who is supposed to love and care about you.
Mom was not super rude. Wife is being a bit unreasonable. You could have said it isn’t a good time as well.
It doesn't work then either. 21 and 17-18? I dated a 21 year old when I was 17. He was a loser. Like, a wake and bake, crappy job, sleeping on a couch, no visitation with his kid loser. Normal people in their 20s don't want to date kids.
He got played for sure but he didn't necessarily do anything to prevent it either. Hope he's learned that lesson the naked way.
Everything else doesn't matter until paternity is established. Contact a family court lawyer and explain the situation. They can petition the courts for a DNA test and from there, if the baby isn't his, he's off the hook. If the baby is his, he can tell the courts whether or not he wants any involvement in the child's life and the courts will establish child support from there.
Tell your partner to text the new mother that until paternity is legally established, they don't have anything to talk about and then ignore any further attempts at contact until paternity court. Save all the text messages. And talk to an attorney.
You cannot be a good father if you deny the existence of one of your children
And why are you so sure he won’t abandon your hypothetical children
It is quite obvious that he is just a step away of doing irreversible physical harm to you. I hope you can see that coming. And for someone to find pleasure on inflicting harm to someone he was supposed to care and love like a flower, is simply sick.
It is quite obvious as well that he prioritizes these sick “games” ahead of your well-being, your relationship with him and probably your child.
You need to grow and be a mature woman to earn respect you deserve. Otherwise you will end up manipulated to his sick own goals.
He's always very appreciative. Surprised him with a birthday gift if that counts … different scenario though .. fingers crossed that it goes well. lol
I had to do the math and it was just BAD
Are you going to try to get her to see that the sky is purple next?
What compelled you to ask him? Did you feel your daughter needed to be knock down a peg or two? Maybe she was not insulted enough as a child? Maybe she needs all the parental in her life to make her feel like she is underserving of love? Did she ever had anyone in her life that protected her?
You are so lucky that she still want to see you at all and, if she is starting to realize her worth, you probably do not have much time to make amends.
I don’t know why I don’t see any answers
Chap, she doesnt care much about your feelings. She has already cheated before and despite that does nothing to allay your present fears.
She will not change. She will cheat again.
Get rid.
Talk to your wife and get her answer. Does she want kids or not. You can make the call on your relationship bases on her response. This would be a deal breaker for me.
This is called love bombing, also known as “manipulation” lol
Get out my dude. She's got you under her thumb and she's abusing you. You can do better than being some nutty girl's bitch.
Go to your graduation, and feel 100% proud of your own accomplishments.
I do say that he is insensitive most of the time. ? I got this insecurity come up again because we fought today and I am the one who is mad at him, and he shouted at me and blaming me it's my fault. ? I just cried and now I am thinking all the things he said to me
Leave
Not just her life, also the life of this poor kid she's going to put through all this shit because she's selfish.
Genuine question, as a guy, why not mention sex? The main purposes of birth control are period/hormone regulations and preventing pregnancy from sex.
If she isn’t using it for the period regulation then the only purpose is sex which the birth control is negatively affecting. It seems purely negative to stay on it
OP, you are in a lot of danger.
You are dating a gay/bisexual man who is in the military. He may not be out to his unit.
He proposed three and a half months after meeting you. And he has been pushing for sex for months.
I would tell you to report him to his CO but that could literally get him killed.
This guy is unstable. He is using you and he is escalating. He is armed and dangerous.
You should cut contact and tell him in no uncertain terms that if he contacts you again you will report him to the local base for harassment.
I’ll take the bait, even though this is an obvious troll:
You’re an abusive hag and it’s no wonder your family hates you.
We met by happenstance and we click quite well so it's not like he was looking for an 18 year old
It sounds like you have poor communication with your partner. Start there by expressing your frustrations and what resolution you need him to invest effort in. Good luck.
“a year ago you said you wanted to do [this thing], so you have to do it now”
Consent can be revoked at any time. Whether [this thing] is having a baby or having sex, you should be able to see how the above statement is horrible
How did I emotionally manipulate her?
From a previous post of hers, she has children.
Be honest but kind.
She never said he’ll be okay losing his job, you completed twisted her words…and honestly, if your entire life just revolves around work and you barely have any time for your loved ones, that’s just sad. It’s exhausting to be with someone like that. Eventually your loved ones are going to stray away from you if you never have time for them. Maybe it’s not a good idea to work at a job like that where you barely have any free time. Adults are going to get busy sometimes and that’s fine, you should at least make an effort to make time for your loved ones even if it’s at a different time.
Yes, use your time machine to go back to the very first time he did this, then break up with him. The fact that this problem reared itself within the first 60 days and yet you stayed with him taught him that you were okay with this. So of course he continued it. But you're still only at nine months, not even a year. Just end this and be done with it. Someone still so stuck on their exes just isn't “relationship material”.
> Okay… how are they getting his email address?
I don't know, i'm not a stalker. But my bf is also active through social media, linkedin, fb groups, etc, It doesn't seem that difficult to get an email address without talking with my friends.
> Also, change your profile picture to one without your partner! Should be pretty obvious that you don't want to signal that you're with someone again.
I'm afraid to do that right now as i think i'm about to be let go 🙁 Maybe he sees it and decides it's over right there.
> in the future you need to be honest about your past with your partners, the FULL truth,
Don't i have the right to privacy? And to move on from my mistakes? It's messed up to expect me (or anyone) to tell EVERYTHING to their partners.
I certainly don't expect that from my bf.
The situation you're talking about has very different circumstances, OPs partner wasn't aiming to abuse her, it was anger from the situatuon of the booze being taken. It would be different I'd she attacked or verbally assaulted with the intent to hurt OP specifically, but from what was described it sounds like her brain was “me want more drink”, “lady take drink away”, “fight lady for drink”, not some years long nefarious plot to be a monster. Humans do shitty dumb things while intoxicated to blackout because many revert to lizard brain but that doesnt mean they're an abuser, and this is coming from someone who's had maybe ten drinks in their life.
You think it’s “run it’s course” because she is nice to your family?? It sounds like you have trust issues. Or you’re leaving a lot out.
Maybe his views changed. And since he experienced you without social media he prefers that? I know my views changed during the relationship with my ex.
She has nothing to do with you. Any “reaching out” should be to your husband.
I had a cat who would leave a Poo dot everywhere she sat until we changed her food, and we could barely cope with that…
SAHM is a full time job. Does she have two full time jobs now? This could be a factor