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Date: November 30, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Sounds like a much better idea to me! Have a great time.
Honestly I completely understand the codependency thing. I just don’t feel like I need to be needed? I think most people just see me as a reliable strong person and I just try and do the right thing by people. But honestly most of the time I just want to be left alone.
Dude wtf are you getting out of this ? Sex and and avalanche of feelings ? 4 months of repeat of deja vu ? Cry, morn, wash rinse, repeat ? If you were over her this would be a nice offer but it appears you are not. So say thanks but no thanks.
Ah dude, i was so relieved when i read you were cancelling the party and going to the book fair, good choice.
I don't understand the people that spam this stuff. What a waste of a life. Time is precious
It’s so much. I am so terribly sorry there is no good option. I am glad to see in other responses you are going to get therapy, because this is deeply tragic, and you’ll need support no matter what you do. A therapist will be so helpful on helping you explore and figure out your own limits and needs. And to grieve what you had before her accident. Build your support system, because you’ll need it no matter what you decide.
He is sleeping with men, that's why he's gaslighting you into thinking you're the problem.
If he voiced the words “I'm unhappy” that's how you know.
Get tested.
A little redundant? Light includes all the colors of the rainbow ?
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You seem to be looking at this situation from a very level-headed perspective. I don’t think you need any advice at all here, bc you’re already acknowledging any and everything about which I would express concern.
I hope you can trust your instincts and act accordingly, and lean on friends and family for support
So because you’ve met a bunch of nerds you infer a bunch of things OP hasn’t written and assume he’s like them.
This is a you problem that has nothing to do with OP.
I'm married and I'd never say anything of the sort with my in-laws or my parents around.
Idk we only got to knowing one another recently and he was kind enough but suddenly kept getting angry. But I know better and your right. Thank u
That sounds like future thinking. At what point would you be an alcoholic? Maybe if you start drinking more than your usual, then he can start worrying. He's worrying over something that may never happen.
I wanna start by saying I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. As someone going through pregnancy myself right now, I can’t imagine how his sudden change in reaction is making you feel. My heart is with you.
I do agree with everyone that counseling may be the best option here. Having a child is such a big deal and a big life change. Heck, I’ve even had panic moments of “Am I making a mistake?!” and my fiancé and I also intentionally conceived our baby. But when that happens my partner and I have a reasonable conversation where we reassure each other that even when this is hard, we’ll have each other’s backs. And that just because we’re becoming parents doesn’t mean our life is over. It’s just evolving. 🙂
Sending you so much love. Please be kind to yourself right now. I really hope you both can work this out and find the root of what’s causing this reaction. Even if he backs out, if you want this baby that is completely your choice. Please don’t forget that. Good luck. ?
What he wants you to do is make a straw purchase. That's a felony with a sentence of up to 10 years in federal prison.
He wants to hunt allegedly, which is asking for trouble because if you ever go hunting, the game wardens have about the widest latitude for searches and seizures of any cops. They can check your hunting license at essentially any time you're hunting, coming from, or going to a hunt, then when they run his (if he can get one) or his normal ID, they will see he's a restricted individual and take the gun. They will then run the serial number and depending on what state you're in or how recently the sale occurred, see that you purchased it.
If you're too dumb to leave him, tell him to go to a gun show like the other degenerates who can't buy from an FFL.
I think I have been conditioned to think that group/togetherness is the norm, and being alone by choice is bad, and there is something wrong with me. It is very hard to break free of that belief. I was manipulated and bullied for so long. It is such a relief to sand my ground.
Have you flat out asked them why they exclude you?
If I could click my fingers and move you forward six months to a time when you and her have broken up, sorted out the housing situation, divided your possessions, are both settled in new homes, and all the emotions are starting to heal, would you take it?
In other words, is it only that the process of breaking up seems overwhelming which is keeping you in the relationship?
If so, then you know it needs to happen, it's just a question of when. It's easy for us to shout “break up” and I understand that it seems difficult, so are there some steps you could take to give yourself more options when you do feel ready to take the plunge?
For example:
Save up enough money for rent, deposit, moving costs, etc, in an account that only you have access to. You may decide to also give her a lump sum to help her out – that's your call.
Reach out to friends/family and start to build a Team You to support you.
Look into housing options to get an idea of the market.
Start prioritizing your needs – my dude, one meal a day is bad for your health, and you are feeling exhausted and confused as a result. You need food, sleep, exercise and care.
Go through your stuff in the guise of having a clear out. Make sure you know where all your important possessions and documents are.
Best of luck – it's hard but I think you can do it.
Sit her down and have the serious conversation.
She either moves in and pays her share, or moves out.
She is not permitted to half move in.
Be clear. Give her a clear choice – she must select one or the other.
Do not allow the conversation to be detailed . Statements such as “that may be, but …” are helpful for bringing the conversation back to the subject you need resolved.
But the fact that they chose your husband over you, do you feel that has to do with sexism or something else?
Even though there were two women that were chosen, their choice to choose your husband over you could be due to sexism. Your boss compared the two of you and chose your husband for a reason, and I would try to find out that reason. Whether it be because he's a better worker, they have a personal relationship, he's been working there longer, or sexism, this is important to find out.
I would definitely talk to an employment lawyer to see if there are grounds for your boss showing discrimination here.
Don't let reddit get you down. It's awesome that the AITA post helped bring you guys to a place of better communication and you've found possible solutions, but that doesn't mean every single one of us deserves to be listened to while we shit on your relationship. I hope things work out for all three of you
She is human trash so you dodged a big bullet.
Guess you'll be doing some roleplay in the future.
So you don't seem to have any issue with your partners drinking problem.
He said that because he's in blackout and can't remember one minute from the next. My only advice is to stop helping him when he's drunk. Stop doing anything enabling of his behaviour.
Yes! How is anyone pretending otherwise?!
I didn’t mind her having friends. It’s just when we used to be friends, I knew she had a history of going to other guys when the relationship got tough. I just thought maybe she changed. That’s why I didn’t like some guy friends.
I think you need to choose between living your life free from drama versus trying to get your family to recognize that they're assholes. The former is relatively easy–just step back. Stop trying to negotiate for a time that works or whatever, just don't go to the thing if you can't/don't want to. Stop getting good gifts for your nieces/nephews, just get them a gift card (or nothing at all). Just live your life and go to family stuff whenever it's convenient for you.
But staying on the phone with your mom for three hours, or texting your sisters that you're upset about something? That's you trying to convince them of something they will never recognize. That's banging your head against a brick wall. You have to come to terms with this. MAYBE they'll figure it out on their own someday, but not likely.
By dial it back I mean the part where I said “slow back down to more of a talking phase” rather than an official relationship.
Girlfriend duties as in: spending all my free time with him, having to be intimate, etc. Essentially his expectations for me as a girlfriend
Definitely someone at work was wearing her watch so she could use this excuse
if someone asks you for a threesome, and you say no, the answer is no. :/
I imagine it’s less about not wanting kids with you and more about not wanting kids now. He wanted them before but doesn’t now.
It’s something that the two of you don’t align on, which is okay, but likely means you are not compatible.
Duuuude. You are the side piece, a source of income, or both.
Many women as they get older and see more examples of parenthood from others, end up realizing that it's not inevitable or what they really want, and they would rather focus on themselves and their partner instead of sacrificing everything for people who don't exist. Women bear almost all of that sacrifice; body, mind, freedom, independence. You are literally asking a woman to risk death and become dependant. A man not understanding why a woman may realize she doesn't want that, and angry she won't give him his 'legacy' is selfish and feels entitled to her. Do you actually care about her, or is she a 'tool' you expect to risk everything that you don't have to, to get what you want?
Why is it that young women who know they never want kids are constantly told they will change their mind, and when it's a woman who decides she doesn't after having more life experience isn't allowed to change her mind without it being malicious?
What she did is not a bait/switch, women a conditioned from birth to believe it's their only purpose. It takes a very self-aware person to go against societal expectations and be honest with themselves and others about what they truly want their life to look like.. and being a mother feels a lot like a bait/switch to many women. This often comes from learned experience.
I hear stories all the time about partners lying about not wanting kids to someone that doesn't, 'hoping to change their mind'. But a woman purposely lying about wanting them, to only wait to say she doesn't right before getting married is highly unlikely. Wouldnt she wait till after it was a 'trick'?
People aren't static in their desires, they grow, learn and change. Women are allowed to and shouldn't be demonized for it. If the children he gets from her nody are more important than spending his life with her specifically, he should move on so she can find someone that believes she is enough.
I don’t care if you don’t want to hear that the way that you speak about women is offensive, it is.
This dude is pulling a major mind fuck.
Once you tolerate lies and cheating he will never stop. I had an ex that I told him “I know you’re lying, there’s no point of lying further” he would still deny me and then just gaslit me. When I ended the relationship my life was better. Wish I had ended it sooner but at least it ended.
Agree
Of course you do, you dunk.
Would take well that she hides she may die in your bed or while coming to a date with you ? Would you take well that she hides such important data about her ? What should it say about her trust ? You aren't teenagers dammit!
Choose the way and the time, but tell her.
Your boyfriend is VILE. He is disgusting. ?
Man I am really good at taking care of reptiles, but I have killed every single plant I’ve ever had (which is a lot) except for an aloe and one tiny succulent. Apparently to plants I’m literally less nurturing than the desert, which is weird because I’ve had four thriving high maintenance desert animals. I just don’t really get plants.
!remind me 2 days
If he doesn’t accept, then he definitely hasn’t changed tbh. ?♂️
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
More communication. Seems like maybe you two don't talk to each other about how you feel. Have you talked to him about how you feel when he doesn't call on the days he doesn't? Not that he doesn't call you but how you feel when he doesn't. Many relationships break up because they can't communicate.
Sorry. Totally disagree. It seems totally innocent. He cakes her dude.
Men need friends who they can express their feelings and frustrations with… Privately
OP is super shitty for betraying his trust.
I did try a couple of ONS and ended up getting stalked, may lay low for a while…
but your happiness shouldn’t come second constantly. and it’s not wrong for you to want more, hence you should leave and find someone who reciprocates your energy.
You are married. This friendship crosses the line. WTF do you even listen to yourself you are hanging out with her in secret. Going on dates. You are having an affair right now and Emotional affair . You are cheating. Stop the friendship. she is coming in to you and you are neglecting your wife. It might not have turned physical but it is emotional. Either leave your wife or get counseling
I would rank them according to my preference for academics/career and college experience.
Then, I would write the cost after grants but before loans next to each one (remember that you'll need to pay for living arrangements if you move out of town, and that student loans must be repaid even if you go bankrupt).
Then, I would eliminate any school that is low ranked but expensive.
Hopefully, you will have gotten rid of some schools.
If you can do a visit weekend at these schools, especially the out of town ones, please do so. You can then compare all of the factors, including your boyfriend, opportunity of location, etc.
If you're both full time students and no real jobs, you can split chores 50/50. If you don't have time, get up earlier.
I think this is a learning moment for you, just because you feel someone has it easier than you, doesn't mean you just get to pass your work onto them.
Sorry, this is a you problem, not a him problem.
Though you may love him, that doesn’t mean things will be easy. If you’re willing to work through it and he is as well, then go for it, but if things are too different and you don’t see it working, then odds are it won’t.
Also side note, you’re 21, still way too young to get married, especially to a narcissist. Live your life, enjoy your freedom, and get married in your 30’s if it’s still something you want. It’s just a piece of paper, it literally means nothing else.
Dr Phil repeatedly said each partner has to deal with their family. This is a basic rule of family. It is 100% his responsibility.
You are doing alot for her now.
He should reassure her that he appreciates what she did – and will do as well for her future grandchildren (that's her payback).
Does she have friends? Are there county services/activities she can join?
There's no clear win here with a 75yo manipulative person. However, he can smile and keep saying no.
Bless your heart smh
To me this post screams insecurities. Why are you going through his YouTube history?
You think he's beating off to YouTube? You know Google suggests stuff right?
Yeah, but to beg I think is entirely different, a small reassurance is fine but to beg is a lot more extreme
how long have you known each other and how long have you been dating?
I'll try, but I genuinely struggle with that. I can't create or maintain boundaries or even tell people no. I was in therapy for a year, but my therapist wouldn't address those things. I left her and found a new therapist, but I'm currently going through some insurance issues because I'm not allowed to have nice things. (Joking but not really) I will try just boycotting the food until he stops.
As for the shopping, it's a whole other monster, but the short answer is we do it together.