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Letizia-Westt1 Public Chat Channel
Date: October 15, 2022
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You’re 23 and living with a 30 year old waste of space who wants nothing of substance for himself and feels right at home living in a bedbug infested hovel. If he’s not willing to marry you why would you think he’ll enter the commitment of home ownership with you? What you do is leave him where he is. You move out wait 30 to 60 days and check back in on him. I’d bet any amount of money that he’ll have another chick living and serving him in his bedbug shack. The only reason he’s still with you is because you haven’t left yet. Any man that values himself and his partner would do what’s necessary to be in the most comfortable environment they can afford. Your boyfriend isn’t operating like that because he doesn’t care and you’ll just accept whatever it is he gives you because you’re young and, in this moment and situation, extremely dumb. The wisest thing you can do for yourself is provide adequate housing for YOURSELF and leave him to his dilapidated trailer and junk cars.
She's definitely at least thinking of cheating if not actually. You don't make a profile like that without intent. Seems like just an excuse to say it was made “in case things don't work out.” She's banking on it not working out or has already checked out of the relationship.
The thing about cheaters is, once they get caught in the act in some capacity, they will turn immediately to accusations and gaslighting to make you feel like the enemy and that the situation is your fault when it is entirely of their own making.
I can't say what the best course of action is here for you. Personally, my trust would be shattered by the lack of care and drive to try to fix our relationship. I'd consider the marriage over, but try to make it amicable as possible. However, there is a the slim possibility of repairing the damage. The problem is, she would have to want it and work for it just as much as you do and I don't see that happening if she can't own her actions without accusations and defensiveness.
That's awesome to hear! I think the therapy will help you to kinda sort through all these thoughts and emotions. One recommendation with therapy, go in with goals for yourself. And don't be afraid to look for a different therapist if the first one doesn't mesh right… It can take a bit of work sometimes to find a good one.
Honestly, he sounds like a good dude. Does he know exactly what you are dissatisfied with? Is there something you could have communicated or done sooner to have avoided feeling this way now?
I think the best route forward is to dig deep, examine your feelings, and communicate with him your appreciation for his support, talk up his good qualities for you, but that you are unsure this will work out and that therapy is going to help you process what you are going through and you can't guarantee that y'all will be together afterwards.
It's a difficult talk, but a respectful one. It lets him know where you are at, why you want to fight for the relationship, but allows him the opportunity to walk if this is not the parth he wants to take with you.
Your focus is going to have to be on yourself for awhile, and that can be very hot for a partner to go through.
Hopefully this has helped a little!