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Date: December 28, 2022
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it was literally within a month of the breakup. we were still in touch. he had no clue about the real reason of the breakup and maybe thought there’s a good chance it’s a temporary breakup
Punch him. I'd do it
Yes and for no particular reason. I used to stay in a dorm but moved back home during covid. I've considered moving out again though
Gay guy is a predator, gay guy followed husband into the bathroom, gay guy followed husband out of the bar, that's a display of multiple instances of intent to get your husband alone to be taken advantage of. If husband was a girl and gay guy was just a guy there would be no question. Gay guy is responsible for his actions if he wants to blame his drunkenness that's on him to defend. Considering this is the second time gay guy has been inappropriate I would condemn him from the friend group.
Stop defending the person who sexually assaulted your husband.
What is an 18 year old kid going to do other than try and fuck you? He won’t protect you from someone trying to kill you. I see both sides but I’m siding with your fiancé on this one
I’m not trying to argue with you. So I’m not going to read this or respond to this other than say this. My original advice was based on your original post. If you were less than accurate in that post, or if my advice does or does not apply, or if you like it or not, that’s up to you. Take it or leave it.
Constant behavior like this is a red flag in a marriage. Every few months a girls night out is ok. Clubbing for a married woman is a red flag.
How would she feel if you started doing the same ?
You need to verify she isn't playing around
If he has a problem, he should be asking himself.
Don’t listen to all these “leave him!” People…
Talk to your bf and tell him what you went through. Communication is key. Say that you like the playful intimacy and name the things things that you like and tell him that your not sure if it’s the argument that made it feel off, or if he was actually still upset, or what happened. Then let him talk. The less you say when he talks, the more he will say. Just tell him that you don’t want to feel that again, it changes your perspective of him being the fun loving bf and the intimacy you have…
Yes. He denies it on everything but he is acting very very odd. Extreme fits of anger when I try to converse civilly to plan on separation. It screams guilt to me.
Done. Her mom told me that she’s bawling her eyes out right now but that she deserves it and doesn’t blame me for leaving her.
People don’t understand what abusive relationships do to a person. Similarly, how in family court people have access to children or former spouses they used to abuse with minimal repercussions while if they were to beat up a random stranger they would have been in jail.
Abuse is traumatic and causes CPTSD. It is hugely recommended to separate yourself as much as possible from your abuser. You don’t ever have to go back and forgive their trauma because they claimed they changed. They did what they did. They can’t go and piece back together glass and pretend you can’t still see the cracks in it. Allowing an abuser back into your life can make you undo all the work you have done to be a healthy person with boundaries. Your gf doesn’t understand the dynamic between an abuser and their victim. You aren’t selfish nor wrong for maintaining a boundary just because your father became terminal.
If it’s an iPhone you need to delete him off find my friends
Do not marry her. Omg there are so many people in the DB subreddit that married their SO despite the red flags.
Your BF is a knucklehead for using the word “tighter”, but it’s a real and genuine thing that different positions feel better for one or the other partner. My wife orgasms with her on top of me, and luckily I love that position too and I’ll usually finish in that position too. But, it’s sorta boring if we just start that way (unless we’re both tired/it’s late and just want to get off with minimum effort), so we do some other positions to get warmed up before the grand finale. Doggy variations, mish variations, side variations, nothing too exotic. For a while, I was really booty focused and would flip her back to doggy to finish myself after my wife finished, and that was fun and it does hit the penis differently.
If he’s taking care of your sexual needs, I wouldn’t worry about it, and enjoy that your booty and the feeling it gives him is pretty great. It’s not my wife’s goto for an orgasm, but she gets into it when I’m back there, so maybe if you remove some of the artificial angst about it, you might enjoy it too. If you just like seeing him/his face when he finishes in mish, tell him that you love seeing him get off in that position, and maybe try some of the pillow under your hips/butt suggestions. That might help mix the angle/feeling up a bit and he’ll have fun finishing with that.
If he starts refusing to look at you, or stops doing mish all together and that’s a position you like, or if he legitimately believes the right/loose crap, or if he doesn’t really seem to care about your pleasure, you’ve got a defective BF on your hands and I would recommend trading him in for a better one.
You mean doesn’t want to pleasure you
Long distance can be a bitch, especially with you being so young and you already thinking he is immature. I would just break it off as soon as possible so you can focus on your college experience
That's what I've been thinking. I know he tells me that he wants to still talk and maybe reconnect later in life when things are more stable, but I feel ultimately it will just be detrimental in the long run. The other part of me is worried that I would hurt him more by going no contact since he indicated interest in still talking as friends.. I get where you are coming from though.
Sometimes relationships run their course. It's okay.
Yes, break-ups hurt. But it hurts someone more to waste their time with a relationship that can't have a serious future, living a lie to keep them happy.
The best thing you can do is be straightforward and honest. I know I don't even have to tell you to also be kind and tactful. It's pretty clear how much you still care about her, even though that's not romantically anymore.
Or maybe you're just a good person in general. Either way…yeah.
D – Denies responsibility A – Attacks you R – Reverses roles of V – Victim(you) and O – Offender(the abuser, ie. him)
Does any of this sound familiar, OP?
I understand, but if you just dump her without reason, how is that going to make you feel?
You didn't answer my question. If she improves her grooming habits, would you want to stay with her?
The very first sentence. Plus the pregnancy test used.
People like you really frustrate me, OP. This isn't high school. she's not going to throw you in some locker. The next time she tries to show you up in front of everyone, have something to say. She likes to bring up high school? Great! Get some ugly and / or embarrassing pictures of her from school and print it out ready, if she says something simply go to your car or whatever and hand them out to every family member and tell some stories since by her claim “you used to joke in school”. Unfortunately, staying quiet and letting her cry, she's controlling the narrative. You have two options, open warfare or keep quiet and continue letting her isolate you from your own family.
You might not be confrontational, but you don't have a choice anymore.
If you want to go ahead and fully break a struggling marriage, by all means opening it is the way to go. ?
Or he might be like my dad. He didn’t care if the lady he was sleeping with was a mother as long as she wasn’t the mother of his kids. My poor mother.
You go with your gut feeling. This isn’t normal
He said that a lesser person wouldn’t stick around to deal with my trauma
A better person wouldn't make you feel like you're undeserving of love and he's doing you a favor by sticking around.
I hope you can get real help for your mental health.
Know this….You don't ever have to see any of these people ever again if you don't want to. DTMFA. He and his friends are shit. I'm sorry you were treated so cruelly. hugs.
It sounds like you've already made up your mind that you're done with this relationship. I don't think you've said one nice thing about him.
It was HER pregnancy, it's HER baby, HER decision. It wasnt supposed to be anything. Has she promised you anything? No, you just assumed. It's not your job to take care of the baby, youre not the parent. Go find yourself a hobby or volunteer somewhere. People dont exist to fill your time and give you life purpose. This baby doesnt exist to keep you busy in retirement, sorry for the harsh words but its best you hear it from us than from the DIL
Because its not your baby. Get a grip, you are not entitled to anything with this child and if you're not careful, you'll have a naked job even getting a visit
He keeps saying he did nothing wrong but to me it’s so fucked he even accepted money from me. Like he could see I was upset and he still took the money
He's “such a good partner” who has gotten lazy and complacent now that you're moved in and settled.
I can't imagine a man who showers once a week, doesn't wash his hair and doesn't brush his teeth is a man who is doing 50% of the cleaning in your home. Just doesn't ring true.
I can't imagine a man who doesn't even consider how he smells or looks is genuinely concerned with you — your comfort, your happiness, your life.
Please tell us six things that make him “a good partner” to you.
this aint a creative writing story lol this is literally my life and i am in distress
Okay, here's the thing: let's say you convince him to buy a house with you. He may have money in crypto now (or not) but that could literally evaporate any day. And then you're on the hook for a mortgage with a man with vanished money. This is not how you want to live.
Especially if he knew about the situation before asking. That’s an incredibly selfish and shitty thing to ask of someone whose mother likely has less than a year to live.