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Date: October 4, 2022
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Does her father believe this would be a honor killing? Is religion involved or is he just crazy? I hope you two escape him and have a happy life.
No one other then possibly you'll parents accepts you unconditionally.
Congrats on breaking up with him!
You're putting words into my mouth. I said there isn't anything wrong with hanging out with her friends, she should have just told him and answered her phone
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Uhhhhhh…dude. She’s not just your girlfriend. She’s everyone’s girlfriend.
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Many people freeze in response to trauma. MANY. I’ve spent my life hating myself for freezing. It was only 20 years later when I was finally seeing a therapist for trauma that I understood that my body had shut down in that moment and biologically there was no way I could have done anything. Affectionate Wheel has no idea what the Fuck he/she is talking about.
The main idea of chef whites is you're dressed in site, so you don't bring in other contaminants.
But to give them a changing room? Nah, probably a store cupboard.
I've seen too many chefs in their nicknocks
You do realise getting a pet with someone is a similar commitment to marriage? Why would you get a dog and cats with someone who you knew you didn't intend to be with long term? Break up with her and let her keep the pets.
Like am I crazy for thinking this is how a man shouldn’t be treating his wife? Especially during her pregnant and postpartum period?
Valid point, I'm listening to your advice. I'm sticking with nc
“You’re not gonna take any advice.” So why comment ?
Your wife brushing your feelings and concerns aside is just wrong. You've drawn a boundary and she wants to ignore it. I would stop any sexual activities the moment she brings it up again and say “I told you to stop it, I didn't ask”. You need to be firm with this.
As she is walking out the door!!
Could her married colleagues have been pressuring her to cover for them?
A small compliment might go a long way. If you can find anything positive, mentioning that along with the critique might give him more motivation and make it feel less like you only see faults in his voice.
Folks like you are the problem. This person has made a some rude comments and been a bit of a jerk.
In response, you are calling him an abusive monster.
These two are barely in their 20s. They are learning to do something very hard, intertwining every facet of your life with someone else’s, aka marriage.
They are going to make mistakes. They are going to be childish on occasion. They are going to discover incompatibilities they didn’t know they had and have to work through them.
People are not cartoons, nor are they characters in a novel. People who act poorly in a relationship are not automatically monsters.
No one should stay in an abusive marriage, but “disagreement about cleaning responsibilities” is not anywhere near that level of issue.
First of all, realise that its a major red flag that he didn't discuss this opportunity beforehand with you and only after he got it. These kind of life altering events should be talked over with your SO. If you dont do that, sorry to say, you're a bit of a selfish cunt. Especially when it involves a PhD. I've done a PhD and I can tell you that shit is hard, it is time consuming and one should realise that there is nothing much for the coming 4 years in ones life to be bothered with than the dissertation.
Also realise that most people who did a PhD and did so while being in a relationship ended up breaking up during the PhD. Same goes for me, my girlfriend cheated on my during my PhD, i wasn't physically, mentally and emotionally available enough, i don't even blame her. My PhD supervisor told me frankly: you have a relationship with your SO and also with your thesis, which one is going to be the partner and which is going to be the mistress? You cant have both. I know this is a terrible thing to say to a starting PhD student but i do think he was not bullshitting. I don't know if he's aware of these statistics but pursuing this without consulting you was a terribly selfish thing while putting everything between you at risk.
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I guess it highly depends on her feelings around abortion no?
Honestly there is something seriously wrong with your family. You didn't know to you he was a cheat not an abuser. I didn't do anything wrong.
He went directly into the reserves…
“I think all men are rapist so I showed my partner how easily I could rape her…for her own protection of course.”
You can’t make it up to her.
Ok. That’s wrong. Some men could re-establish trust after a mistake like this, but you still think you are right. You have to break down all the entitlements that brought you to this reasoning. To the idea that “teaching her a lesson” was anything other then emotional and physical abuse. That you had the right.
So you got some work to do and it’s unfair to ask her to rehabilitate you.
Now you get to call him out Elle Woods style and the dump and block him!
This isn't about values. It's about priorities and safety. Have you sat him down and thoroughly explained how you used to be and how that part of you was also lost with everything else in that fire? If so, he lacks empathy, which is a huge turnoff for me. He also doesn't sound practical. This wasn't about helping people in obvious danger or distress. He just wanted to even though you didn't have space. If something were to happen if he took in strangers even after you expressed your discomfort, there would never be enough explanations or apologies that he could give you. He likely hasn't been through something that scared him enough to practice caution.
It's like when I, who have always lived in a big city, hear about people who regularly don't lock their doors being surprised when someone steals their stuff. Like yeah, that person was wrong, but those people didn't make it even a little bit difficult. I've grown up having to be cautious and aware of danger in a way those people just don't understand. I can't afford to be naive, trusting, or innocent because that could lead to danger for myself and my loved ones. I would never consider picking up a hitchhiker or doing it myself. The risk is too great for me and I'm not desperate enough to try it.
Initially, I was angry that I was lied to, at one point I felt jealous. I also felt disgusted because of how my wife took advantage of the caretaker of our kids. But then I started to think back on the times I did see Emma, which were rare, but I remembered her looking younger. And my feelings of jealousy were immediately gone because they were replaced by disgust. I can’t explain it but I just in no way, as a 32yr old woman, could feel jealous of this young woman, especially when I found out she was 17. At that point I was just outraged and didn’t know what to think.
I've just looked up Narc traits in a relationship and he definitely displays a lot of them. I've never let him get away with this behaviour unchallenged and he always tells me it's because he's still not used to being with someone he can trust or someone as confident in themselves and easygoing as I am. Maybe I'm silly for thinking he needed time to adjust to a proper adult relationship and unfortunately this is just who he is. Thank you, I'm never going to accept his behaviour and if can't see how his actions affect our relationship then its a losing battle.