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SQUIRT SHOW at goal #squirt #deepthroat #tattoo #petite #bdsm [GOAL MET]
Date: October 15, 2022
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It's only been a month, she gonna let the crazy out in spurts. Don't show her your crazy by obsessing over it.
I’m going to throw some stuff against the wall and you can see, if any of it sounds helpful. Disclaimer: I do not have ADHD, but I do have a mental illness, which can result in me getting overloaded. Your description of stubbing a toe, while everyone screams at you, sounds incredibly familiar.
First of all: You are not a monster! Your brain is not cooperating, because of the lack of pills or more precisely a lack of Norepinephrine in the brain. That isn’t your fault and sadly, there is no way of magically increasing the levels, through something you could do or take charge of, beyond pills. Don’t blame yourself!
However, what you can do, is try to manage the situation as best as you can and maybe there is room for improvement there (maybe there isn’t – again just throwing stuff against the wall).
What helps me to avoid overload, is getting really sensitive to the signs. Usually the body knows, before the brain does, that something is going wrong. What are your signs? Muscle tensing? Heart rate going up? Sweating? What’s the breathing rate? This might sound stupid, but I can actually determine quite precisely how stressed I am, but the amount of tensing my face and specifically forehead muscles are doing. There might be a process – 10% stress results in symptom A, 30% in symptom B and so on. I personally, need to head off the problem before I reach 50%. Usually there is an instinct to wait until one just about can’t stand it anymore, while somehow suppressing everything with willpower. However, at that stage, my personal train has already left the station and absolutely nothing will keep it from crashing. The best I can do at that stage is get the hell out and hope for the best, while saying ‘good bye’ to the rest of the day.
Which leads to the next point: what can you do at each symptom stage to get back down? Breathing techniques? A calming environment? Mindfulness aka focusing on the senses? Or the opposite – I carry a skipping rope and sometimes some vigorous exercise is the only thing that will work. There are massive lists of things out there to try to get stress down and I am afraid I don’t know enough about ADHD to make any recommendations. With my illness, you usually also try quite a lot, until you have a definite list of things that work at different stages (often not forever though, so if something doesn’t work anymore, there is likely another option out there to try).
Plan around things building up, even at work. Schedule regular mini breaks, such as getting a cup of tea, hiding in the bathroom, taking a smoke break, etc. Hell, a quick game of Tetris on your phone can already do wonders. I tend to need 5 minutes every hour – 5 minutes every half hour, when I have something where I concentrate one hell of a lot. I know that will likely effect your job performance, but remember, it is only temporary. Sweet relief will come – you just need to keep going until then.
Be aware of triggers: Some things might feel super overloading for you and get you from 0% to 100% in record speed or at least whack a nice 30% on there. It might be worth actually noting down at regular intervals, where you are on the stress scale to make it easier to go back and figure out, what happened at which stage to blow things up. It might also make you more sensitive to your stress levels at given points. When I started doing it, I regularly found myself going “Hu! I’m pretty stressed. Didn’t realised that…” Again, prevention is better than cure.
Just as an example: One of my triggers is noise. I always have high quality, noise cancelling, headphones with me, to be able to dampen things down if needed.
When it goes wrong, don’t beat yourself up. Some of it is practice and some of it, is just the luck of the draw. Remove yourself and do what you need to do and (as you are doing) apologise afterwards.
Now, for things with your boyfriend: I’m sure this is a really stressful time for him too. Try to encourage him to make sure, he takes care of himself too. It is easy to go into rescue mode and forget about yourself, which can lead to burnout. Once you know what symptoms to look out for, share them with him, as he might see something you don’t (the forehead muscle thing was pointed out by my family – I never noticed – and now everyone knows, they can point it out to me, when they see it). Also share as clear instructions on what to do, as you can. Feeling helpless is a really detrimental state of mind. Finally, if he can find a self-help group for the loved ones of people with ADHD, then that could be really good. He needs to be able to unload to and doing so amongst people who ‘get it’, can be really helpful (plus they might have more tricks and tips from experience).
I know, you are already overloaded and I’ve now written an essay, which doesn’t help at all, but maybe tomorrow or so, this might have something useful in it.
Turning someone down, will always result in some upset, especially when she felt there was hope before. You are just making it worse, by waiting though. Text her something like “You are a really wonderful person and I really appreciate you as a colleague, but I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page – I only like you as a friend. I’d hate for you to get the wrong end of the stick on that.” or similar. Just make it clear that you aren’t romantically interested. It will likely mean the attention will stop, but it also means she won’t have false hopes either.
IF they address it properly. It wouldn’t be nude to guess who called. I don’t think tattling on someone you’re afraid of is a good move. The risk would more than likely outweigh the reward. It’s way too risky
You block him on all mediums and don’t respond to him. That’s how.
Definitely been here before. It was probably a slower transition that 2 days but it’s nude to see that stuff when you don’t want to. And you never want to.
Break ups suck. Every single one of them feels like the end of it all. All consuming and endless and excruciating. They always feel like the worst because our memories of that past aren’t as sharp anymore as the new ones we are making.
You’ll be a miserable shell of yourself for a certain amount of time. Until one day you realize it doesn’t hurt as much when you accidentally think of him. Then you move on to the next one.
The good thing is you get more perspective and strength from each one. You’ll get through it. Go no contact.
Why are you worried about the flirting and not about the fact that he has been having unprotected sex with tons of different strippers? Do you think the ones that got pregnant are the only ones? I feel if 3 ended up pregnant, chances are that there was at least 10 more that didn't got pregnant. That only would turn me so off. Of course we all have a past but i couldn't respect a man that goes around being irresponsible like that ?
Damn, good call on the stray! What was he thinking, going back to the bar where his wife was accusing him of spending his time in?!
It’s posts like this that make me glad that Reddit collects info, and can (and is legally mandated to) pass that on to local law enforcement.
They’ll hopefully be able to find OP through IP and ensure the BF (ex BF I hope) gets the help they need. (It also helps flag people who lie about posts like this “for the clicks”, as shouting this out in a crowded street or posting it live! are both seen as the same thing, and can both land jail time if they’re found to be lying about a life threatening situation)
Be honest and be a front own your crap
How will things change?
So this answer sucks but it’s true. You’re 15 and don’t fully understand the range of emotions that come with relationships. This isn’t a rude comment, you just don’t have the wisdom and experience yet, and that’s okay! But your feelings and thoughts about the situation have nothing to do with your sisters thoughts and feelings. Just because YOU don’t understand why she would feel upset, doesn’t mean she’s faking it or that it’s weird.
I would tell him that when the vacation is over and you are back home that you two are done. He's a mama's boy and he will never tell her no!
Thanks again for your replies and taking the effort to give me some really good thoughts about everything. I had a bender for the entire weekend but finally had some sleep and coming back to try and be ready to face what is happening from here on.
I think she has been keeping a number of things from me about how she felt, she came over on Saturday to talk but we ended up calmly arguing back and forth for hours, but it was useful because a lot of her feelings came out in the wash. I am not blaming myself for everything by any means, she has been unbelievably apologetic about keeping it all from me and I can tell it is genuine (to a point at least), but I can now see that there are plenty of shortcomings from my end in our relationship that I hadn't really thought about the impact it had on her. And I think these had an impact in that when someone else decided to go and show her attention and speak in a deep emotional way, she took the opportunity with both hands. By the end of the discussion, I probably stopped being quite so reasonable and gave emotionally charged responses, it wasn't going anywhere and she packed most of her stuff and left with our dog.
We ended up speaking on the phone on Sunday for a couple of hours in a much calmer manner and had a really good conversation about what might happen from here, probably the most honest conversation we have had in years. She needs some space to think about things, and I guess so do I – it has been beneficial to me even if it's been pretty heart-breaking at times. There is a lot to work out. I want to keep my self worth, but also would still try and make it work if we can – even if that maybe means that we take some time to live! separately. We have lived together since 4 days into our relationship and have been together ever since, so maybe that will produce some clarity for both of us.
I think she is going to come around after work tonight and we will see how we want to move forward from this and what direction we take. It's tough because we have the dog (who is the sunshine of my life) and she has indicated that she would be taking them, but maybe allowing me to visit or organising a couple of days here and there. I don't want to go to court and fight about it so hopefully if this split is permanent, maybe we can work it out amicably.
It's a blessing and annoying that she is being so reasonable and level headed like she often is, it would make it easier if she was just being a bitch and I could have a reason to not want to be around her haha.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply, your words and thoughts have been invaluable and given me a lot of other perspective I wasn't really thinking about.
She is friends with Sarah who is a Cheater. So op and her bf are the same deal.
I think you have every right to not stay in a house full of smoke. It would give me asthma attack and make me feel sick. I am sorry there aren’t other options. ❤️
13 years is a really fucking uncool age difference. If she really did this, it feels very predatory.
Women do start to panic around mid thirties if they want to start a family. However, if she was panicking and thinking about her options she should have been with someone her own age who is financially and emotionally ready for a child.
Also don't get drunk at events with coworkers, period.
Well now, if she can't take care of kids he should find in the court for sole custody. As for the ex-wife herself. I will be heartless, but unless he can promise to literally leave her on the street rather than let her in his house then you should leave him. He can take his kids in, just not her. Should he agree, but not comply you should leave the firs timet you get wind of it. I mean leave, leave no negotiation or further contact (and tell him that's what is going to happen).
The following is just a wild idea:
To make things easier you can ask him to move to where you live!. If anything it will make their contact harder. I am sure it is inconvenient for him, but it is him begging you stay where it's clearly time for you to leave him. Of course this does not mean he should leave with you while giving them his house to leave in meanwhile. IF he leaves he sells it or rents it (not to her).
What was the gesture you were trying to make that didn’t apply to your gf?
Look for a new girlfriend.
Are you aware that marriage doesn't automatically lead to tax benifits???
It can depend on the kind of job you have and also there is more than one fucking country in the world and not all of them offer tax benefits for marriage so it really is plausible that there is no incentive at all, especially caus we don't know where she is from…
Your husband is right. Find a hobby at least
Do u think it’s possible to be mad at someone for what they did but not want to be with them anymore cuz ur with someone else ?
If you do this, your rough patch will end. With divorce. Because nothing cures a troubled marriage like deceit and breach of trust from sneaking around behind your spouse’s back with an ex while said spouse is conveniently out of town.
You do realise that there are men out there that are just as conscious of their body being shown.
This kind of generalisation hurts both men and women by insinuating that men don't feel vulnerable showing off their body and that women feel vulnerable whenever they show off.
It's a case by case basis.
No, never say you're 'insecure'.
OP feels insecure. Why are you instructing them not to tell the truth? Jesus
Girl, you're not listening to any of us. You NEED to listen to us. Stop making excuses for him, stop justifying his behaviour! He IS that jealous, he IS abusive, and he IS dangerous!!
– Normal, healthy relationships simply do not involve either party even suggesting a scenario where they violently murder their partner's family – There is a chance that he might think you're cheating one day even if you're not, what then? – Would you honestly feel safe having a child with this guy? He already said he'd burn a baby to death after all…
I know you don't want to break up with him, but sincerely, that is the only safe option. Those aren't jokes because there is no punch line, nothing that could even be interpreted as a joke. They are words used by someone who wants to keep you complacent and controlled, even if you can't see it. I'm a stranger and it feels like I'm more worried about your safety than you are…please show your parents this post, or a friend, anyone…
Just wanna point out that ENM / open relationships are not the same as poly.
:(, I think I am obsessed with this specific person :(, as a friend.
For the sake of the world, i hope they stop trying and go their separate ways.
But you and your husband shouldn't care about it, not your problem. Go be happy with your family.
Why do you hate yourself? Why do you treat yourself so poorly that you would marry this asshole in the first place.
Good news! It's not too late to change and to make yourself a priority. He obviously doesn't give a shit about you or your relationship, so you better go take care of yourself. No one will ever love you more than yourself.
Next, what the hell are wrong with his friends. Even if I didn't like a gf or wife of my friend, I would still include them in all plans because that is how you show respect.
His friends are awful but the real loser here is him. A partner should never let other ppl disrespect their loved one. His friends treat you like shit bc he lets them.
Girl, know your worth and stop putting up with mediocre.
Because you’ve been accepting who he is. He comes back to you because he knows he can keep cheating and you won’t hold him accountable. He knows that people without some kind of trauma bond to him would just dump him and move on.
As long as there’s a blue wall of silence, there are no good cops. Your father was way out of line.
My first thought was they were working out and was offered to shower there instead of going back over to MILs to do it. Which is still maybe a boundary crossed depending on who you are. If my husband started gaslighting the moment I asked a simple question about an individual it would be even more suspicious
Holy shit girl. Maybe ask the therapist about all this
I don’t think he’s been evaluated but almost certainly. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5, and he has identical challenges to the ones that I experience.
I've cheated. Ive slept with cheaters. Like someone else said, it's something that shitty, cowardly, greedy people do. It's not normal. There is something wrong with HIM, NOT YOU, that he needs to figure out and you shouldn't be dragged along to suffer while he gets his shit together IF he gets his shit together. The stress and sadness and frustration aren't worth it and there are plenty of good people out there who are willing to treat you with dignity and respect
I don't understand what you need advice on? You said this is the end of marriage, and rightly so.
So leave and start the separation process. What else is there to say?
I don’t think it was that she was never into him. I think it was her fundamental difference in how she viewed sex vs his and it led to a few years of building resentment. She enjoys sex and put it on the back burner for OP. The problem is that she knew this when he proposed but she continued to let it string along through marriage. Her communication is no good.
Uh, no. I don’t know a single person who has ever signed up for a dating app to make friends.
I have seen a few do it to spy, but they didn’t use their own pictures, that’s ridiculous. If you put your pictures on there it’s because you want to date.
Firstly , you are certainly not the issue he is.
Something isnt right here . Personally I’m not convinced it’s simply about labels . Even though he may be socially awkward , I think theres more to this .
Im not accusing him of anything I’m just saying that if someone wants more of you , a considerate person would acknowledge the interest and not bite back.
I have a feeling because of what you may feel , you might be a little blinded. I’d be interested in wha besties think
The last part is probably true, but regardless, I don't think it would have been different with swapped genders. If a guy asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said I wanted to be single, I don't think I have the right to yell at him when he wants to be single too.
OMG!!! You are now planning to use money given to you for your friend’s wedding on yourself?!?
Lady, you are a real piece of work.
Definitely get some therapy.
I’m glad, is there something I should put differently?
Very VERY few people are naturally good at playing with toddlers. If he even wants a chance at being in this kids life later, he should be showing up now. That child shouldn't have to earn daddy's attention or entertain him.
So, typical dude logic:
“I go along with this, possibly avoid a fight, my family still gets in on the deal, and hop it turns out. Or I blow the whistle and risk us both job hunting, either be auze I get cut out or because she wants me to for moral reasons….yeah, option 1 works”
So he knowingly, selfishly exposed you to herpes- GAVE IT TO YOU, IN FACT, and can't understand why sex makes you cry? You're traumatized. He gave you an incurable STD. What a piece of shit.
I just wanted to say that I really admire how handled this.
They’re not mine. Just got home and double checked. All the new ones are at my place.
No he’s not expecting her to care about him, he’s expecting her to pay his half or at least part of it. He’s not her husband or her fiancé. What happens if he decides to break up with her next year after her and her parents spent thousands on his rent.
Yeah, he’s beyond officially hiding something/someone.
i am not settling for a cheater
Hey! Sorry to say, he’s not interested. I’ve been dating for 7 years and this is very common. This is how he’s choosing to treat you, just block him and keep swiping.
correct!
Give her time and space. She will either come to conclusion thst she has made a mistake or she will not. You can't force her to feel the way you want her to feel.
Just wait and nothing changes move on. It is a battle she has to fight herself.
Fair enough…. I’m just wondering why you are so keen on staying with this man given the circumstances. You posted here for help and are quite defensive in your replies, which is another clue that there is some shame going on here. Whatever is going on with him is no excuse to abuse you. Your very young children and you may be hanging in there for now… but this abusive situation you are choosing to be in will absolutely take a toll and your lives won’t be as good as they could be in a healthy and happy home (especially when your babies become more aware of the screaming fights their Mommy and Daddy are regularly having). A happy and healthy home is not what you or your spouse are providing at this time- I understand this is nude to read but it’s the truth. Research on Google or get a parenting book how parents having these kinds of issues and fights impacts development if you question this information.
It also appears you are back tracking on everything you said in your post and are not really open to any advice or able to make any changes at this time. As I said before you already know what you should do… and something is holding you back from doing what is best for your children and yourself. Best of luck to you.
This makes no sense. If you found flirty text messages, you’d have had to see back and forth messages between them over time, so Alison and Alexia would have had to have access to both peoples phones, and would have had to text all of that in a way that Elena and Jack didn’t see and notice until you got a hold of her phone. And if Alexia did this with Jack, what’s to say she’s not making shit up now about Alison because they’re not getting along.
And if someone is that dishonest and selfish, they don’t just do one dishonest thing then behave nice the rest of the time. You’ll notice other fishy shit or dishonest things they do with other people as well.
Yes, but if his sister wants him to be there and he is being difficult about his clothing, she is really stuck between a rock and a nude place.
Talking to her and being straightforward is needed. You guys are committing enough to be living together and old enough to know this isn’t the best situation. I agree with making sure you’re calm and all that. Personally, this would be a deal breaker for me. Too many white lies and even her friends think it’s a bit much.
You’re right. He actually started doing the test and he told me he was interested in it but rating 40 pairs of eyes was too much for him. Totally understandable.
The best way to find it again is to break up with him and stay single while working on yourself. I did this after my ex, two years later and I met a nice guy who I am taking it extremely slowly with, the difference is I set my boundaries from the very first date and would have no issues walking away if he disrespects them.
It actually was my ex best friend who made me wake up to myself, I was so dead set sure she would be in my life forever and I would have defended her to the death, but she blocked me on everything when I refused to compromise my morals by doing something for her that she knew would destroy me. She was counting on me breaking, because I always did. This time I wouldn't, because I know myself better, and now her not been in my life I have gone through our whole friendship in my head and realised I was even conditioned to saying yes to her, if I had realised this before, we would never have been friends so long.
Another ex friend of mine put it perfectly when he said that you should never count on anyone been in your life forever, not even best friends, because love is never unconditional. I didn't believe him at the time and I destroyed our friendship because of my own rejection and abandonment issues, I believe him now.
Everyone sucks here. Don’t hang in the bad parts. Don’t date girls that instigate fights and don’t hang out with people who are going to pull guns on you.
I think this is temporary, but I see the underlying issue – if anything similar happens again in the future, it will likely be the same
madam?? tell me this wasn't your big takeaway from this whole mess
Dump her. She’s shallow and this will only get worse.
I live! in the midwest LCOL area. That's TWO mortgages on my street of 3 bed, finished basement brick ranches with garage and fenced yard. TWO.
So basically.
You are a broke tech worker who wants a housewife. But you aren't bringing in the dough and now you're trying to act like she needs to work, go to school, deal with her health issues, and split the bills….
I'm actually amazed that she hasn't broken up with you yet.
What would you do in this situation?
If he can't come to his senses on his own and climb out of the rabbit hole he has chased the fairies into, your only choice – as sad as it may be – is to walk away.
Honestly? This is a situation where you take a BIG step back and ghost THEM. I say that because Z is going to turn on them in a matter of weeks if not days and then it will all come out.
But you need to lay low, keep your mouth shut and then once they all turn on each other create some major distance between all of them.
As for M, don't contact her. When she reaches out to you it is time to establish new boundaires.
Do not lower yourself to anyone else's behavior and NEVER eat a bill for some schmuck who treats you like crud. These people have problems.
You know the answer. Once another is introduced into a monogamist marriage, it is almost always the beginning of the end. When is is done and both are not fully committed and wanting to do it, it is a certainty. It is just a matter of when it end.
It may suck, but make it happen on your time and sooner than later to minimize the agony you will be going through knowing what she is doing. The mind movies would be the worst. Since she brought this up, she already has somebody in mind. She just does not want to tell you that. So she is looking for you to give her a guiltless excuse to cheat and break her marriage vows without putting in the effort to hide it.
This is s a situation in which you must risk your marriage in attempts to save it and it can go either way. Tell her you understand and will be going to see a lawyer next week to set up the divorce then do it. She must know you are serious and that YOU are taking back control of the situation. This may wake her out of her affair fog as she is already emotionally connected with someone or may have even become physical. Have the lawyer have her served ASAP. If this causes her to reconsider and wish to reconcile, you can always stop the divorce contingent upon her getting individual counseling and signing a post-nuptial with a very strong moral clause. If she is fine with allowing the divorce to proceed, then she was already lost to you. You are then just moving the inevitable forward to get on with things sooner, which would be best for all. There is not much more you can do. It takes two to tango. But she must see that her choices have consequences that are absolute. If she feels you are weak and won't follow through, then you essentially become an enabler. Most women lack full respect for a weaker male. She may be attracted to an alpha or some of her single friends or married cheaters are making her feel like she is missing out on something.
Her reason is pure BS. My wife and I are married 45 faithful years and together 51 since she was 16 and me 17. Nothing was missed by either. This sudden change was definitely influenced. If you do somehow manage to save this marriage, she must go no-contact with those influencers.
L. O. L. No you're not. No one is this much a pushover lol
What kind of partner are you to her?
Why does he have to admit it? You know the answer. End the marriage.
Get whatever tattoo you want. You’re still young and he doesn’t get to control your choices.
Find out now if he views you as a partner or Property.
I was TALKING to a man once who said that if I got more tattoos he should have a say in what and where on my body. So yeah – never dated that one. Nobody tells me what I can do to my body.
So what’s the problem?
“one of us comes from Greece while the other has a turkish background”
…oooooooooh
Yeah, that’s a problem
Break up with him so he can find someone who truly loves him.
Yeah that's a really good point, don't even THINK of mentioning that you're aware she used to wear them as a teenager. Just buy her a nice new one, baby pink or blue would be nude ❤️?
It’s ok to be a tenant, even if your “landlord” is your partner. If you guys have a solid relationship, that part is just semantics. I would personally want a lease agreement to protect me in case of something unforeseen
There's a solution for this:
It's called restraining order. Get one ASAP. I'm quite certain that stalking and harassing are good enough reasons.
Talking is obviously not working, so it's time to pull off the kid gloves.
When you break up lr fight over and over again because of the same reason it means nothing is going to change. You are just treading water instead of growing. It is time to rip off the bandaid and work on yourself before getting into another relationship. You need to work on why you have been in a dishonest relationship in the first place. If you don't take the time out you will keep repeating the same mistakes
It's not, he's just surrounded himself with assholes.
Until Dad and horrible mom got the message, I'd commission a beautiful portrait of the mother styled as a saint and send it to my Dad as a Christmas Card. And an Easter card. And a Birthday, Thanksgiving, and 'hey it's Tuesday' card.
And all the cards would have some scathing commentary on Dad and new wife, with prays and well wishes that they find peace in their sad, horrible little lives.
If you can't fathom seeing two people at once then pick one and let the other know you'll no longer be seeing them. You don't need the permission of anyone here to end things with this first guy.
….or he could be withdrawing from meds or other drugs. Agreed: it could literally be anything. Poor OP sounds so hopeful…