You do realize that you don't get a pass to be sexist just because someone else was, yeah? It's still problematic, bud, even when you're doing it to make a point.
I know you’re right, it’s just very very hot to hear. I don’t want to throw away a 10 year relationship over one difficult year. Growing up I always heard that there was a period of years where you hated your spouse for one reason or another, but pushing through is always worth it. If you make it through, you have a partner for life. Every adult in my life family wise has been married 25+ years. In my extended family not one person has ever gotten a divorce.
The other thing that worries me, is that if this is mostly mental health related, I’m going back on my vow to be there for him no matter what. That’s very important to me. But primarily, I cannot abandon him if this sudden change is because of depression he’s been running from all these years. I think the catalyst was graduating. He doesn’t have a distraction or “purpose” and he’s running the rat race like everyone else now.
That sucks dude, but it comes down to this: She doesn't want to get treated for her mental illness. If she was trying it'd be different. You're not married so there is no “in sickness and in health” You're not an ahole. Clearly you care for her wellbeing but it's unfair to expect you to accept these issues when she won't even work on them. So yeah, bid her a kind farewell and move on.
This reads very fake to me. How could you be engaged to someone who doesn’t know anything about your self proclaimed best friend?? Makes no sense
3rd or 4th
You do realize that you don't get a pass to be sexist just because someone else was, yeah? It's still problematic, bud, even when you're doing it to make a point.
He might want the perks of dating without actually dating
I know you’re right, it’s just very very hot to hear. I don’t want to throw away a 10 year relationship over one difficult year. Growing up I always heard that there was a period of years where you hated your spouse for one reason or another, but pushing through is always worth it. If you make it through, you have a partner for life. Every adult in my life family wise has been married 25+ years. In my extended family not one person has ever gotten a divorce.
The other thing that worries me, is that if this is mostly mental health related, I’m going back on my vow to be there for him no matter what. That’s very important to me. But primarily, I cannot abandon him if this sudden change is because of depression he’s been running from all these years. I think the catalyst was graduating. He doesn’t have a distraction or “purpose” and he’s running the rat race like everyone else now.
It won't hurt to try a consult with a Rheumatologist
That sucks dude, but it comes down to this: She doesn't want to get treated for her mental illness. If she was trying it'd be different. You're not married so there is no “in sickness and in health” You're not an ahole. Clearly you care for her wellbeing but it's unfair to expect you to accept these issues when she won't even work on them. So yeah, bid her a kind farewell and move on.