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Room for live sex video chat loves-lindandan
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Birth Date: 1999-09-27
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
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Subculture: subcultureHipster
Date: October 12, 2022
Respectful and safe adults in their 30s don’t date 20 year olds.
It’s really naked to see when you’re the younger party, because you know that you’re smart, mature, and capable, and it can feel invalidating to be told you’re too young. But it’s not about you. It’s about the 31 year old. I’m closer to his age than yours, and something that really surprised me about aging is how young people in their early 20s started to seem. I would never date someone that much younger than me, and neither would any of my other friends in their 30s. Not because of personality incompatibility — I actually do have friends in their early 20s who are all smart, emotionally intelligent, mature, and responsible people — but because our life stages are just so, so different, and also because this deep “ick” factor kicks in and the idea is just gross. All adults in their 30s should have that instinctive icky feeling about a romantic relationship a 20 year old. If they don’t, they are not a safe person.
I also want to say that as someone who’s been through this myself, toxic, unsafe people often do a really amazing job of presenting themselves as absolutely wonderful. It is very easy for them — especially when they’re motivated by the desire to attain you — to be charming, kind, understanding, accepting, 100% on your side, patient, and supportive. In fact, the typical story of an abusive relationship begins with the victim meeting the person who seemed to be their soulmate — if you hear lots of these stories, as I have, you’ll hear over and over, “He was just perfect,” “I’d never fallen so very hot for someone before,” “It was like a fairytale,” “I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.” Why is this? Because when you’re dating someone who’s honest and safe, they’re going to want to present themselves as they genuinely are, which includes some ways they’re different from you or a few qualities that might not appeal to you much. A dishonest manipulator will happily craft their image to be immensely attractive in every regard, and they’ll seem to fit into your life like a missing puzzle piece, perfect in every way. Until, of course, they feel confident they’ve got you, and then their true self emerges.
The age gap is a huge red flag that this may be what’s going on. A 31-year-old man is not dating a 20 year old because he’s looking for a confident, experienced woman to be an equal partner.
The fact that he supported you through the aftermath of another abusive relationship is another enormous red flag. Abusers are amazingly proficient at spotting vulnerability, and love to swoop in as saviors to make you emotionally indebted to them. It is sadly common for abuse victims to land straight into another abusive relationship because abusers are specifically hunting for people like them.
With this context in mind, I also consider it a red flag that you click so well and have similar histories. In another context, this could mean you’ve found an exciting match! But given everything else, I heavily suspect mirroring — a strategy employed by manipulators in which they overemphasize your similarities, hide your differences, and even wholesale fabricate a matching personality to make you feel you’ve found someone just like you. Someone who is mirroring you can make you feel like you’ve found someone who is just like you, who totally gets you, who shares all your interests and sense of humor… and then at some point during the relationship, that person completely disappears.
Because you’re long-distance, it will also be incredibly easy for T to pretend to be someone he’s not. You know how easy it is to put on your professional face at work, or your good student face at school? That’s how easy it is for a manipulator to put on a good boyfriend face while you FaceTime. Lack of in-person compatibility is a huge issue even for non-toxic LDRs who met on-line.
Please be very careful with your heart, and keep your eyes wide open.
Yeah after re-reading that it’s like a light bulb moment. I’ll look into it, thank you
Take your cues from her. Let her grieve as she needs to. Maybe drop off a meal or two or some groceries if they don’t feel like being out. A wanted pregnancy ending hurts even at the earliest stages. Let her talk. And remember to ask after her partner too, many people forget that they are grieving too.
Miscarriage grief is one of the least talked about things in pregnancy and you can feel very alone. People (including medical professionals) talk about the stats, but not the emotional impact that can be made worse by the hormones dropping. Let her (and her partner) quietly know it’s ok to grieve and work through it.
Best of luck to you all.
Well it seems that you already know what you should do.
The fact that you are asking us to advise you to be a lying deceitful cunt shows us you have no intention of being honourable.
There is no advice we can give. Fuck off.
I would only do this if you have 6 months worth of savings. So many other fish in sea.
So…is this just a stupid first world problem and I should just shut up
Yup. He's going to love it. Don't worry about it hahah. If you want to add an extra layer to your gift for something more sentimental. Have a nice dinner together, or get a photo of you two deployed.
He'll love it. Don't worry.
What set is it? I might be interested in it myself.
You know you’re not a saint? Gee, that’s good /s
You had your fun with her while her husband paid her way. I say tell him because he deserves better than her. I don’t care about your consequences.
Ok, you’ve left a lot out here,
What are the plans for the baby? Where will you be? (No offence but a phone call away isn’t good enough) there needs to be regular visits for the baby and discussions about you having the baby overnight when he/she’s old enough
I've never thought about those. Thank you for the ideas! I'll definitely talk to him about this and bring up cheap and thoughtful activities I would appreciate.
Again, thank you!
You bring it up with her by asking “Are you into watersports?”
Alternatively, if you were uncomfortable by the bathing in pee thing (because I personally would like to consent to that first), you sit her down and say “Hey, I was kinda [insert emotions here], and I’d like if we could talk about things like that before they happen. Can we talk about it?”
If it makes you uncomfortable then that’s all he should need to hear. Don’t feel like you need to put up with stuff so you seem fun to him (within reason). This is a reasonable boundary.
That’s not really my problem. If it makes him feel bad, then so be it, and maybe he should feel bad? Not everything has to be about being delicate with his ego I guess
Only advice for a cheater is to confront and leave them.
The kid is three. He’s not going to understand. What you’re describing is not appropriate and will only cause further harm to the child.
It’s not OPs place to have a “conversation” with his exes child and definitely not his place to be asking for any kind of visitation.
It’s the parents job to explain these things to their kids — not the exes. The best thing to do is let go so everyone can move on.
As they say here on Reddit, “he showed you who he was, believe him.” Luckily, he did it early get away from him.
So had some dates in Dec and now he's YOUR guy? Was this agreed upon? It's not unusual for people to have dates with others until they agree to be exclusive with one. Unless you had that agreement you and your friend are WAY out of line. He still has his profile active so I'd say he hadn't committed to you yet. You're too old to be playing highschool games. Leave him be and let this be a lesson
808 women die a day from birth
Him or the baby? Choose the baby. It’s clear that he has some serious commitment issues and it not fair to you
Oh no Abusers get worse when they know your pregnant or planning your escape. You are in danger. He is love bombing you right now. Leave like planned
I think she's saying that 3 months ago she would have referred to her child as a baby, but now 3 months later that term is somehow irrelevant because the child is two? ?
Agreed 🙁 he said it’s actually selfish for me to not let him do that, that I should be selfless since I love him and let him meet his full needs by being with others.
My ex and I agreed never to let our son win, but we also didn't let him lose.
You're supposed to teach them. Lead them to the correct answer. It sounds like you don't understand that and made him dislike the game. Now she has to clean your mess.
Drop it. You're only making things worse.
Your in a relationship that should have never started.He disrespects you because you let him. Leave him alone and fine someone who is honest loving and dependable.
Hey that's absolutely understandable. In which case, maybe it's a sign and blessing that you'll be motivated to detach from help that comes with strings and emotional flagellation. Righteous anger is an incredible motivator!
You should cease contact and move on. Stop asking your mutual friend about him. This guy isn’t for you, he’s always going to pick Nat whether he knows it or not
How much time have you had with bebe up until now?
If your daughter is quite familiar with you and you've built a solid bond and had experience comforting her and caring for all of her needs, hopefully it should be a fairly short pathway to normalcy once your new routine is established.
In the absence of any legitimate red flags, I would ask you to take a more charitable interpretation of your daughter's mother's motivation. Growing a baby in your body and bringing them into this world forms an intensely personal bond, and the deep primal connection to your helpless infant afterwards is nude to adequately describe from the outside.
I went back to work part time when my first child was 16 months old and the tears were very real for both of us. The sheer emotion at saying goodbye for a few hours, trying to be calm while getting a red light on the short drive back… it sounds a bit over the top describing those feelings but being parted for so long this early on when they can't speak, potentially can't walk, can't care for themselves or go to the toilet etc, is really unnatural. It's not controlling as in 'haha I have the ace up my sleeve' so much as it is 'I have invested every ounce of my being into this little person who depends on me and now she's disappeared and I can't hold her'. You can logic that as no worries, she's only five minutes down the road, but the entirety of human evolutionary instincts screaming at you to hold your baby is quite a powerful counterpoint.
You're not in the wrong here, but extend some grace.
You don't have to tell the therapist anything you don't want to. Just talk about your life now with your parents, about how guilty you feel for that episode. The therapist will understand and will back down on any subject you don't want to talk about. Believe me, therapy will be very helpful for you and your parents. And to your parents you can tell them that you regret you snapped at your mother and you would like to fix your behaviour by going to therapy. Good luck!
You guys got me in stitches over here. I guess I'll take the downvotes and say that while there are some jobs that would make jacking it at work a bit odd, not every guy that jacks it at work is a raving perv.
I'm older now, but in my teens and twenties, at a boring warehouse job with a private bathroom in a quiet corner of the warehouse?
Hell ya. The companies never getting that 30 seconds back.
Pretty confident I am not a sex offender. But some of these responses are over the top. Good laugh.
Thank you so much. I love the phrase “warped normal meter” because it’s something that many of us unknowingly have. Thank you so much for mentioning that, it makes me feel as if I’m not insane.
I always told him he can try waking me up if he wants for sex, and I do take blame for telling him that, because I can see how he could shake me from my sleep and it seems as if I wake up, but really I’m just talking from my sleep as a reaction to being touched- if that makes sense.
You gotta be kidding man
She's fucking someone else and using facebook and snapchat to do it, WAKE UP
What does Mando have to do with anything though?
Sigh. You are bringing the anxiety on yourself. If you don't want to deal with trying to catch him chatting or 'cheating', break up. It is exhausting to constantly have to sneak around to try to catch someone doing something so you can justify sneaking around trying to catch them.
I find it nude to believe this is his first sign of being a bigot.
I promise you, in time you will definitely heal. please be gentle with yourself. it's totally cliche but think about working through the turmoil with a therapist.
Sometimes a girl just wants her dad. You are her safe space. You have always protected her and that's what she needs. Thank you for being a great dad and supporting her through her trauma. It's going to be a long and difficult road.
Make sure you tell her every day that she's doing amazing and she's going to get through this. She is going to be okay and you are there every step of the way. Tell her she's grew to be beautiful, smart, funny, amazing woman. Give her a reason to love herself again.
Yes you’re clearly losing your damned mind! There is no way you’re this articulate and ALSO stupid enough to entertain this shit. How did he text “Hey” after a month? Wasn’t his number blocked cause you’d already shrugged this off? My advice is to welcome sanity back into your life and stop trying to make sense out if his nonsense!
No.
You did nothing wrong. If anything the projection is pouring off her in rivers.
So this is the path forward – she gets immediate therapy/counselling for her anger issues. She drops this interrogation and toxic behaviour, or you file a police report for physically attacking you and your child.
There is no middle ground.
Every guy who tried to romance me or potentially tried to romance me. I deleted him. The problem is that he considered even “ hey how are you?” An attempt to romance me. So i got lost. And started wondering. ( here i am here ) Even someone asking about something (studies) IRL. for him was temptation to flirt.