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Yes. She can not physically stop or prevent him from doing what he wants. But she is absolutely allowed to decide a relationship with someone willing to spend time with someone he knows has gone out of their way to hurt her is not what she signed up for
“Probably”
I agree with this completely. OP seems to have a pretty clear head on their shoulders about the situation they are in. The wife is abusive.
Oh I get it. I think you’re right. But I’m new to the apps
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I just read half of this and I can already tell you this. You gotta GTFO. His controlling all aspects of your life and you clearly don’t like it. He doesn’t seem the type of guy who you can change his mind. The fact that he expect you to put your life on hold to take care of your baby for 3 years so he can go to college? No way. I only read half-way and there already plenty of red flags. Be safe.
No you really need to learn how drugs work and how badly it can fuck up your life. It’s all fun and games until you get addicted and their is no help but yea let’s try it for fun
huge red flag if that’s how he talks about women
My parents proposed that I just ban him from my own space and act like roommates until he can act like a s/o instead of a child and at least do the bare minimum.
I propose you just ban him from your own space and act like roommates until you can find a new apartment.
I really don't want to break up but it's been frustrating me for awhile now.
He didn't wash the dishes for an entire Spring Break…what, like 10 days?!? WTAF?
Let me make this crystal clear to you: This man does not respect you! He views you as less than him. His grad studies are more important than you, his time is more important than you, his happiness is more important than yours.
NOBODY is so fecking busy that they can't rinse a dish and put it in a dishwasher. It takes no more effort to drop your clothes in a hamper than on the floor. He's living in YOUR room because he's too damned lazy to clean his own and you have not gotten around to cleaning it. He views you as his mommy/maid with the free perk of getting to bang you, too! Lucky him!
I wouldn't bother with a come-to-jeezus meeting, he's been a slob since before you met him! This is who he is. He was never taught to respect his possessions (his clothes on the floor, his paperwork on the floor, his room uncleaned, his apartment in upheaval). Nobody is that busy!
Unless you want to spend your time teaching him how to 'adult' (thereby becoming his mommy) and continuing to remind him constantly how to 'adult' (thereby remaining his mommy), I'd suggest you find yourself a grown-up to have a relationship with instead of this son-sband (son/husband). Things will not change when he finishes grad school and gets a job. Only his excuses will change (I'm exhausted from work. I deserve time to decompress. You're home more hours than me, you should be able to get it done…you know with that less important job you have that didn't require a grad degree. Blah, blah, blah.)
At 25 it is not normal to be this emotionally attached to your mother. You said yourself that you see her all the time! You should maybe consider looking into therapy and trying to resolve your issues surrounding your need for attention from her.
Don’t you have any friends or hobbies that you can do to fill your time instead? It may be a good idea of looking for other ways to keep yourself busy. Your mother is an adult and made a commitment that is important to her. It is incredibly selfish to demand she cancel to spend time with you.
You are not overreacting and nobody can tell you how you feel. If you feel uncomfortable and he loves you he needs to cut any relationship with her.
Talk to him more assertively. Maybe ask him how he would react if you hang out with your ex.
I mean, I would say for him its wasting time and money and ruining his health – physical and mental.
And for us its empty promises i guess. Which kind of makes me not trust him or feel I cant take what he says seriously. And I would prefer not to go to bed by myself and he's high on the couch lol.