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  1. It was actually a burn based on the fact that no one alive is actually speaking in good faith when they want a joke “explained like I’m five’d” to them.

    Oddly, another attempt toward dark humor seems to have escaped you, so now I actually will rouse myself to try and explain to you, as if you are five years old, what dark humor is and why it is used….. but keep in mind that seriously dissecting jokes on the autopsy table is quite literally the death of humor.

    When OPs boyfriend makes a dark joke about her “genes being bad,” the humor comes from the fact that they are in love and already together. It’s an odd juxtaposition, otherwise known as irony.

    “Haha, I wanted tall kids but I fell in love with a short girl!” is an example of the actual sentiment behind the joke…… but it’s not really funny to say it that way, is it?

    So instead he made a genes joke. I have quite literally made a similar joke to my wife of 12 years, based on our bad eyesight. In this case there was actually TWO levels of irony, which I will isolate and extrapolate on since your humor level is 5 years old:

    1.) I want kids who have good eyesight so they don’t have to wear annoying glasses! But I fell in love, married, and had children with a girl with bad eyesight!

    Compounded against:

    2.) I actually have bad eyesight too!

    This level of hypocritical observation, the fact that her gene of “bad eyesight” could be present in our kid, played against the fact that we quite literally love eachother and have never wanted anyone else, presents in something I like to think of as “dark, dramatic irony.” Dark because if I said that to someone who I didn’t love and know loved me, or even a perfect stranger, it would sound super assholish. But the humor is also there because the complaint clashes with the fact that I love my wife so much.

    This irony is often played for humor in what we call “comedy.” Comedy was invented, at least in part, because a certain large percentage of people have trouble talking about their emotions in serious context so they would rather laugh about and be frivolous with them instead.

  2. Your perspective is a little out of whack here in the tone of this.

    It reads like he is doing this to you.

    You can’t take mistakes like a personal attack.

    1) The first thing does not even effect you. Let him sulk. If you don’t get it it’s fine, but do you want to be looked at like this when you are upset about something he doesn’t understand?

    2) The issue is not being put up, so tell him to just do it right and put it all up next time. It’s an honest mistake though, or he got distracted. That’s annoying but we’re humans, shouldn’t be the end of the world.

    3) He can’t cook rice. No one likes very hot rice, he shouldn’t like very hot rice. He tried to do something nice, he messed up. If someone can’t cook rice you tell them it’s okay make something else next time.

    He’s not doing anything to you intentionally, but you take that way and go to a place where you intentionally take it out on him.

    That means you are resentful when you get to criticizing someone’s every move.

    You stop being resentful by saying what bothers you when it bothers you and finding a workable fix.

    You also should not take how you feel out on anyone. When you do that you prioritize justifying your resentment over having a good relationship.

    If he can’t take honesty that doesn’t attack his character, then you won’t be happy or get past this. It’s over.

    If you can’t bring this up in a constructive manner the relationship is also over.

  3. Not a red flag, but a clear indication that this may not be the relationship for you.

    Someone out there has fewer emotional needs for you to manage. Someone out there probably has the bandwidth to handle her emotional needs.

    The best choice for both of you may be finding those other people.

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