There is a good reason why you don't trust him: he isn't trustworthy. He slept with someone else and didn't even take precautions to make sure that she didn't get pregnant. So I guess that means that he didn't even take precautions to make sure he's not bringing you STDs. It sounds like after a year you two aren't even any official thing – just “guy you're seeing”. Listen to the hurt and cut him off.
Having a child should be a two-persons dessision. Legaly once you are pregnate its all your/the woman choice (if abortion is legal/avalable). Until then, all a man can do to make sure his wish agianst being a father (for whatever reason) is to not have sex with you or keep a wrapper on his thingy. You need to respect his choice as much as he should respect yours.
that being said, its not that he doesnt want kids with you, its just not-while-you-are-living-in-a-unsure-and-small-rental. Thats acutaly something you can chance: your living arrangments. You want a child with this man, he wants secure houseing before starting having kids – so start looking for bank loans and go look for a house or larger appartment. Once thats fixed, go have some scoodelipooping and make some kids with this guy. A guy who want secureity before kids and not just wanting kids on a whim is kind of naked actualy, so keep him, do the homework (loan and house) and then go be a big happy family together
Sure, there are many options to prove this to your husband but none of them will be enough.
this is something he will have to address and maybe seek some personal therapy to help him move forward. If he refuses to get the help he needs and does not change, Maybe a push in that direction is needed. scheduled couples therapy and let him know how much damage this is doing.
Bob probably can't network and needs someone to blame it on. Even if you did do those things, it would make you look bad, and not reflect on him, so it shows that he is deflecting something.
Bob's life challenges are not yours so time to disengage. Gives a heads up to your institution that he is creating conflict that you are attempting to defuse.
There is a good reason why you don't trust him: he isn't trustworthy. He slept with someone else and didn't even take precautions to make sure that she didn't get pregnant. So I guess that means that he didn't even take precautions to make sure he's not bringing you STDs. It sounds like after a year you two aren't even any official thing – just “guy you're seeing”. Listen to the hurt and cut him off.
Having a child should be a two-persons dessision. Legaly once you are pregnate its all your/the woman choice (if abortion is legal/avalable). Until then, all a man can do to make sure his wish agianst being a father (for whatever reason) is to not have sex with you or keep a wrapper on his thingy. You need to respect his choice as much as he should respect yours.
that being said, its not that he doesnt want kids with you, its just not-while-you-are-living-in-a-unsure-and-small-rental. Thats acutaly something you can chance: your living arrangments. You want a child with this man, he wants secure houseing before starting having kids – so start looking for bank loans and go look for a house or larger appartment. Once thats fixed, go have some scoodelipooping and make some kids with this guy. A guy who want secureity before kids and not just wanting kids on a whim is kind of naked actualy, so keep him, do the homework (loan and house) and then go be a big happy family together
I think the problem most people are having is that he kept it a secret.
Sure, there are many options to prove this to your husband but none of them will be enough.
this is something he will have to address and maybe seek some personal therapy to help him move forward. If he refuses to get the help he needs and does not change, Maybe a push in that direction is needed. scheduled couples therapy and let him know how much damage this is doing.
Bob probably can't network and needs someone to blame it on. Even if you did do those things, it would make you look bad, and not reflect on him, so it shows that he is deflecting something.
Bob's life challenges are not yours so time to disengage. Gives a heads up to your institution that he is creating conflict that you are attempting to defuse.