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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: October 9, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Have you looked into how hard it would be to get nursing qualifications abroad? Realistically, most countries consider health care workers pretty important and you could also potentially work in the on-base military hospital because I think there's special rules for military spouses working on what's essentially US property….
The reality is it can be a naked life being a military spouse. And as much as he says he hates the navy and wants out, he has to be looking on the horizon for what's next and taking active steps to secure a life/career outside the military because it won't “just happen”.
So there's a lot of tough choices you two would have to make. If i was you, i would put marriage on hold until some of the Big Life Plans are bit more laid out and less cloudy. BUT to go with him, you'll need to be married on paper even if you don't do the big white wedding and save that for later.
Yes, just ask if that’s what you want.
What you’re wanting isn’t outrageous, it there’s definitely people out there were a guest isn’t to do anything while they’re in their home.
You also invited her because she had a rough year…it’s possible that she’s depressed which doesn’t exactly make people the most considerate and impacts all aspects of life. Not an excuse, but could be affecting her.
It's because most 25 year olds aren't remotely setup to be parents, financially or mentally. It takes a long time to be financially stable, to learn who you are, to learn what you want in a partner and to build up life and career skills in order to be a good parent and partner.
25 is, for most people, still very young to settle down, let alone start having kids. You haven't had a chance to travel the world, save up a deposit for a house or enjoy life.
I'm nearly 15 years older than you and my parents didn't have their first child until their 30s – nowadays the average age is later than that.
I totally understand your biological clock doesn't permit for a when-you're-ready approach, but for most people your age, the just aren't ready – and shouldn't rush into it because it is truly life changing.
Why delay? Because getting it wrong could ruin both your lives and your childrens' – there is no alternative but to move slowly and consider every step. You can make a rapid decision (have kids early/too soon) in seconds and the consequences will be with you for 50+ years.
You need him to rush the decision – but a good father and partner will do anything but rush it. Your needs and his may well be incompatible and that's something you need to address.
Thank you for your detailed responses. This is all really good advice- I appreciate it a lot.
I think I have issues I need to work on myself with- namely hyper independence (as a trauma response) and abandonment issues (this is all separate from my relationship and from my past). I think this is bleeding into my relationships now because at the prospect of more attachment, my response is to detach- almost on instinct.
Our relationship IS objectively good. I think I just need to talk with her more- and maybe see a therapist
break up. this is some weird mix of sexist expectations and contamination ocd. either way, he's not right in the head, i wouldn't stick around for this kinda crap.