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  1. For you to assume that I’m making zero effort kind of tells me where you stand on giving advice. Me and my wife have been through a lot of things that your average couple has not in the past 13 years just because we end up in a very hot spot with the current situation, which to be honest, it’s because of financial trouble does not mean that I am not trying to do what needs to be done. I do understand part of the issue. It is also something that I’m currently working on but unfortunately these things do not happen immediately. I understand she has given up a lot, but we both have. marriage is a two-way street. I could understand her wanting to leave if I was not doing anything but I currently am and have been so that characterization of me is incorrect if she wants to leave then that is her prerogative but the slick comments is what gets me I didn’t ask you to tear me down, I asked for honest advice if you don’t wanna give that then that’s fine but do not get on here and try to demean me the things that I say are not excuses. They are obstacles that we have to overcome because everyone would love to buy a $500,000 house and on-line wherever they want and not have to work, but reality is a little bit different. You have to make the money to pay for these things they don’t just give them away. That is my point. I am not happy about the situation that I am in financially that is inhibiting to doing what we want to do right this moment.

  2. how tf did she manage to to turn this into a you-chasing-her situation?

    people's behavior towards you changes once your finances are revealed. happens all the time. a new partner who wants you to spend it all on them or an uncle who suddenly needs to borrow some and somehow make it a reoccurring payment. oh my washer dryer is broken, can you spot me? oh my car needs an oil change. the list goes on and on. and once they know, they'll guilt you into doing it or until they shun you for being a 'horrible person'

    this is why the only two people who know my earnings are my boss and my future wife. and if I ever run into some 'transparent salary' tiktoker I'll tell them it's none of their damn business.

    you're obviously doing the right thing and just had a slip-up. you've made all the right choices. it's on her to change her behavior.

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