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Ride dilldo gently [499 tokens remaining]
Date: October 21, 2022
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The poor guy seems to be walking on eggshells to avoid op humiliating him
She fucked some guy. For like a year. Divorce will be easier than trading your value and self respect to cling on to some horrendous person.
You might not see it now but him breaking up with you is such a good thing. Emotional abuse and living with a narcissist is what you were going through. It's okay to feel sad it's over because yoh obviously have love for him but a real man won't treat you this way
I think it's very understandable that you were at wit's end and couldn't help but set the ultimatum. Your situation has not had physical consequences for you… yet. But it could very well happen, he has done basically everything but that.
You call him the most important person in the world to you. But have you read what you wrote? It's nude to see when this is affecting you personally. But for me from the outside looking in, the most important person in the world should not be treating you like this. It's time to stop accepting the way he treats you.
She could be trying to baby-trap ypu while you are drugged out. Who would believe your side of the story witbout proof?
I suspect your mother feels like you have made some bad decisions, and she doesn't want to get stuck changing your baby's diapers, getting up at night for feedings every 3-4 hours, and baby sitting while you go out with friends.
Your best hope of winning her over is to be extremely mature in view of the situation you are in. Ask her opinion, take her advice, do more than your share of chores when you are over there visiting. She might be pleasantly surprised to see you taking more responsibility.
One thing that might come up is to note the babies due date as she may be grieving more around this date.
Just listening to what she says she needs is important and thoughtful.
Honestly the good outweighs the bad. That’s why we are trynna fix it . But the last thing he did was so recent it’s nude to build back the trust
Well I do accept who he is, he is the way he is and I love him that way, he has the right to think differently than I do and it doesn't bother me on a daily basis.
But I think It will if we have children.
Reddit is the new Tinder
She's like a person with a peanut allergy shrugging at the possibility of eating one in her food. Maybe there's one in there maybe there's not, who's to say.
Except this little oopsie wouldn't just affect her, it would affect OP and (potentially) an innocent child.
OP, glove the love or dip out, this situation is like the begining of a story that ends with “and that, kids, is how I became your father”.
I have good friends, but they haven't given good dating advice. It's either “ask more girls out” or getting a dating app. I won't ask a girl out unless I know she's interested, and to date that's never happened. And dating apps are kinda rigged against men, especially less than stellar looking ones
You tell your family that his family is religious and regardless of how they feel about Muslims or women who wear hijabs they will be welcoming and respectful of their beliefs. Religious discussions are not to be had with them or in their presence.
You outline these boundaries now and you do not waiver. Being polite and respectful of other people, especially your future in-laws is not negotiable.
I cant speak for him but as a female, when im getting into the horizontal cardio with my BF, im VERY awake.
This is a nude question to answer if we don't know what it is you said. If you had a bad trip and were talking to the lamp because you thought it was a mushroom person, that's weird but ultimately harmless and will probably be a good laugh for both of you in a year's time. If you were saying things which could be construed as threats or thoughts which are dangerous for you or someone else, that's a lot harder to hand wave away and ultimately may mean you need help before you're safe to be around. If you said things which portrayed certain views she finds immoral, then those things don't come from nowhere, and she may be re-thinking the friendship.
r/unexpectedITcrowd
Probably saw the word elsewhere and didn’t realise that was a prerequisite to the situation to use that word
This is super random , humiliating and shocking . Like wtf ?!?? This really isn’t ok and sounds like a really immature pos I dated before. He even did stupid crap to my dog- didn’t physically hurt her but messed with her stuff
I’d definitely get her something although it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Just let her know you’re thinking about her. Maybe a nice book for her trip if you know what she likes to read.
This is a common dating problem, wherein we start to think about the past and compare it to the present situation. What unfortunately often happens is that we confirm that the current person we're pursuing is objectively awful, so then we compare it to the last or others we've dated and think we've made a monumental mistake due to how awful the current situation is.
I'm here to tell you that that's the wrong mindset to have. What's worse, is that my argument here is honestly incredibly easy to make. I digress.
In general, you shouldn't be focusing on one vs. another; you need to be focusing on what (or rather who) is right for you. But to keep it focused here, you felt a connection with someone a few months ago who told you almost instantly that it wasn't right. You subsequently dated someone else who you learned was shit. Unrelated events. I will, however, tell you that you need to cut the recent guy off. It's just never going to work. Your feelings regarding the new/old guy are irrelevant.
So now let's go back to the “old” guy. On that, let's discuss what happened. He didn't/doesn't have time for a relationship. That's all you've provided.
So again, you've started thinking about that guy. Everything you said after that means nothing. The issue in your mind is that you have a choice to make; you don't. The prior guy doesn't exist. It's not a question of you choosing between this latest guy or the previous guy; again, the previous guy isn't an option for you. So why has he been a problem? We can't possibly know, but you need to know that it's over.
That doesn't mean you choose the other situation. That will also be a guaranteed failure. Let go of both. It sucks and it's nude. I get it it. But they're not it.
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Sorry…what?
You both should learn to say no. He to his mother, you to him. Not cool.
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Why not ask? Because unless you have a LEGIT reason to be suspicious (like he says he’s out with the boys but then posts a picture of him hanging out with a woman) getting nosey about a strand of hair in a photo (when AS YOU SAID it could be family/friends) makes you red flag material.
You can wash your ass all the time and still get worms. It comes from not washing your hands, or from pets, or from kids.
So you did cheat. You gave the impression to your coworker you are interested. What do you think will happen when you see her at work next time?
Tell your girlfriend that you want to go to couples counseling to figure out how to make your relationship stronger.
It may be that you are not meeting her needs so she does not want to reciprocate yours.
You may need to get a new job because the coworker might see you as a challenge now.
You’re dating a 22yr old and she’s acting 22.
The toilet
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You're not you, when you're hungry.
She's not okay with suffering but I'm sure he's not a republican vegan. So yes she is lol
It may be nude but it's the only real path forward.
Haha I had the same question haha. As a guy that would sting a little haha. Yeah babe I can have sex with you all day and not feel anything haha
Well now when he does it I take both my headphones on and turn the music up, but he just takes them off and gets close to my ear and says it even more, and when I say do you want me to get annoyed then continue. And he says does it work, and just laugh
A partner who loves you absolutely would not need to be told these things. The fact that you know you need to spell these boundaries out means he is not that person.
I bet if you asked her, she'd stop asking you
wow seems like a r/nicegirl materials. For real man, of she is doing this to other people who are working how long before she turns on you when you won't do as she asks?
I am sorry I could never do that and still look at myself in the mirror like nothing happened and sincerely that is the definition of not a good person, going out of your way to mess up a food delivery, wasting food and people's time is just savage and cruel.
Why did you want to date her if you didn’t like how she behaved when single?
It's not downvoted anymore, but it's frustrating when people let this behaviour slide because they say they don't notice. Like all life skills, it's something you have to learn.
And shutting it down is really as simple as bringing your SO into the conversation, turning down invites where your SO wasn't invited, etc. It doesn't have to be a whole thing. Just a subtle reference to your spouse and focusing on making your spouse feel comfortable and welcome.
You didn't dodge a bullet. You fumbled the bag. You had a woman you liked and who is mature enough to state her boundaries confidently as to not waste either of your times. You didn't take her seriously… for what? Her request wasn't even nude. You could have texted her “I'm very busy this week but hope you are doing well and would like to see you again soon”. It took me less than a minute to type that.
She dodged a bullet. She will find a man who will treat her the way she wants. And she will likely treat him in kind.
You can’t just give in to her “panic attacks” aka manipulation, or you’ll never get it. There’s no easy way to do it and she made her own bed, you have nothing to feel bad about.
Hire an attorney and start the divorce process since it will take time anyways. Follow your attorney’s advice to a T and if she gets hysterical just don’t engage, she can process her own emotions without you. If things are that bad you can always go no contact and funnel all communication through your attorney.
You have a right to feel whatever feelings or emotions you have. How you react to those feelings is what matters.
Only you can answer this, how did you communicate these feelings to her? Were you aggressive, or calm? After things calmed down did you two talk about it and she listened to you, or did she throw it back at you again? If you weren't being aggressive and she got upset at you, throwing it back at you, then you aren't in a healthy relationship. If you can't communicate feelings in a healthy rational way then that is a serious problem. And if you are constantly having your feelings weaponized against you, then she either needs therapy, or you need to reconsider this relationship.
As for the behaviour, well that's between you and her. It's odd that she'd stop dancing with you to go dancing with another guy. My partner wouldn't do that without my permission, just like I wouldn't do that to her. But we have established that boundary. If you are uncomfortable with it, then establish it as a boundary. And if she doesn't respect that boundary, then I'm sorry to say it, but you should get out of that relationship.
holy shit. I hope she gets far far away
You’re parents are being jerks , it’s a pain in the arse to pick you up but you haven’t gotten yourself into a situation where you can be independent yet so you rely on them. If I was you I’d prioritise getting transport sorted for yourself . You’re 24 and still relying on your parents to get home from work, you’ll probably have to eat a little bit of shit every now and then
I know someone who went to prison for that, and yeah, they were abused as a kid (from what I hear). And yeah, maybe that's why they did what they did. But I still think four years in prison was totally called for. In fact, the prison they went to had lots of therapy to hopefully make them safer once they were released. I don't know if it worked but I sure hope so.
First read up on gender disappointment. It is a real thing and does not mean you will not love the child you receive but rather that you grieve the child you had idealized.
Second comments that attribute blame to either party are unhelpful. Yes technically sperm determines gender but saying that is as unhelpful as when my mum wished my eyes had been blue like my dads and my sister reminded her that given my mum was black skinned with brown eyes that had been unlikely. You are having a girl, he is disappointed and you are hurt that he is disappointed. Those are the only facts you need to discuss. The specifics of how the fetus was created are irrelevant.
Finally, how long has he had to react? Coming from a big family I've seen my fair share of gender disappointment. One of my sister's cried on and off for a week after she discovered she was having a boy. My nan tells me that when my dad was born and my pop saw it was a boy he swore so profusely all the staff turned red (my pop was one of 8 boys and had desperately wanted a daughter). People invest in the idea of the child and for some that includes a gender. When the idea you invested in doesn't come to fruition you grieve. The problem in my opinion isn't that he may need some time to grieve the loss of the child he imagined but if he doesn't accept the child he has. If it's only been a week or 2 I'd give him a bit more time (although I acknowledge it must hurt you to feel like the child you carry is being rejected). Longer than a month and I would suggest he seek counseling. At the end of the day both my sister and my pop were great parents and that is what really matters.
Your real problem will be if once the baby is born he cannot bond because of gender so give him time, read a few articles on gender disappointment and if this continues ask him to seek therapy.
I agree. My parents are very wealthy now but became “rich” in their 30s. Sadly their etiquette is still quite poor. Even with our coaching of social norms.
Not sure they would mix a bowl of random things together like your partner… but my mother once took a weight watchers meal to an expensive restaurant to eat. The company initially refused to let her eat it. At her insistence they gave up and just plated it for her on a fancy plate. So completely embarrassing. I seriously had no words. I would have just left at that point.
Welcome to another round of “grown woman doesn't know what's best for herself, they must be infantalized because all men are not to be trusted”
Guys, if you are reading this, if someone makes you a ham sandwich and you think you'd like more ham sandwiches in the future, thanks is the best and only response that is required from you. Additional words out of your mouth, especially ones that critique the sandwich or the sandwich making skills, will decrease the probability of a second sandwich down to zero.
I know. This poor guy. I would be devastated if a partner lost interest in me just because I had a natural reaction to shitshows
How to move forward? I’d ditch the misogynist but that’s just me.
Hey! Your question is better suited for r/sex , but I can answer some of that.
Truth is, some people do find cum gross. You don't have to interact with it if you don't want to. There are flavored condoms for oral. You can use a condom for handjobs and you should always use one for penetration regardless of being grossed out by cum or not.
And you talk about this stuff with your partner before having sex with them. Not only is setting and managing expectations important, but communication is what keeps relationships solid. If you are not ready to tell him, then you are not ready for sex.
I'm Ace so my input may not be useful but…if your SO doesn't see the incompatibility and the issue, that in itself is also an issue. I read that financial and bedroom topics are detrimental to relationships of there's a mismatch. Same with communication I bet.
You've brought it up, there's no change. Time for a visit to the doctor or sex therapist because this being left unresolved and you feeling unhappy, isn't going to vanish once you've got a ring on your finger. It's reasonable you'd want to break things off if there is no change.
Or accept things as they are and resort to toys and have a lukewarm bedroom with your husband-to-be. But that sounds miserable.
The fact he's not communicating or making an effort though, that would be my red flag. The lack of sex maybe a symptom of incompatibility?
Yeah. Ask her to tell you if she's suspicious of your man next time.
You’re at different stages of your life. Doesn’t mean it can’t work, just means it’ll be harder in some ways. Has she met any of your friends?
this is the first time she's saw porn on the screen and yes how am I suppose to take accountability when she won't let me talk to her. I even told her I know I shouldn't have done it and I rather give it up than her breaking up with me. (and i truly mean that) I know I was wrong for looking at. but damn I told her some things that offends me and to this day she still does it like talk to someparticular guy friends on sc that I know likes her. But she keeps telling me he doesn't when they've literally played footsies infront of me…
Get the dog out of there or get realllly good at ultimatums. He stops abusing the dog and learns how to be a human or you leave with the dog. Intervening doesn’t mean anything when the dog continues to be hurt. You may think better of yourself for trying, but the helpless dog still suffers.
His mental health has nothing to do with this. His not choosing to improve is a personality problem.
Being logic driven doesn't make you emotionless… That's a non-sequitur.
Being logic driven doesn't make you emotionless… That's a non-sequitur.
I wonder why Alice & Steven are OK with inviting the man who was involved in breaking up your marriage, though? That's a little head scratcher, though.
No, it’s not. I hope that now that her husband has done this to her son and not just her that she actually understands how damaging and unacceptable it is.
My frustration comes from an uptick in posts lately where women have absolute shit husbands, post about it and when people go “ummm maybe you shouldn’t put up with that?” they attack like piranhas saying that “he’s so great in so many other ways!!”
There was this dummy on here posting about her husband and how he would sit in his car for two hours when he got home from work to avoid parenting and helping with her kids. Oh and he also started calling her when she took an evening job because one of the kids was sick and also they wouldn’t behave. She VERBATIM said “he only wants to parent when they are healthy and behaving.” When people ripped him apart, and immediately backpedaled saying that “oh you don’t get it! He’s so amazing in other ways!”
Then looking at her comment history she was going on other posts often of other women complaining another their crap partners and telling them how she wouldn’t deal with that with her “hubby.” She didn’t like when I called her out with a “this you ?” ?
did your undergrad suffer bc of the relationship?
What an asshole! He has made me so angry on your behalf. Who does that to someone the love? A psychopath, that's who.
I've been in the support role before. I wasn't interested in a romantic or similar relationship with her in this instance, I am just inclined to want to help people.
It isn't always easy but it can be nice sometimes to be a shoulder to cry on (incl. figuratively). To show care and compassion.
I've been in the support role before. I wasn't interested in a romantic or similar relationship with her in this instance, I am just inclined to want to help people.
It isn't always easy but it can be nice sometimes to be a shoulder to cry on (incl. figuratively). To show care and compassion.
Good guys don't treat you like this, end of. How many more times does he have to cheat before you re-find your self-respect? Most people would've walked out straight after the 1st time (and 3 times? A fool).
You can totally walk away from him; future you will certainly thank you for it if you do.
Stop trying to fix guys who don't even respect you, you are just an enabler. You need to seek validation from within yourself (and not from others).
Gross, tell her husband it's the moral thing to do.
You are expecting her to forgive and move on in your timeline. That shows how selfish and self-centred you are (which lead you to a 4 month affair with a friend).
Not only does she have to deal with the pain of you having an affair and rebuilding trust in your relationship she also had to deal with losing a friend. You’re over it, but she’s not. She’s the one who’s been cheated on.
You seriously want to go on a guys trip, or anything else where you could stray (and you have so why should she believe you won’t again). Just shows how much of a me-me-me you are.
You convinced her to stay, but it’s because the bachelor life isn’t for you. Not because you realized you can’t online with out her. Seriously, you need to let her go and heal b
Wow congratulations you haven't cheated since! Do you understand you aren't the victim here? It was a year ago and you had an affair for 4 months. If you can't take deal with actively putting effort into repairing the damage you have done to the relationship then end it for her sake.
The elder had a pink dress she wanted to wear but the younger had her holy communion that same year. What I didn't know was that SIL intented for her youngest daughter to wear the same dress to my wedding as well, while she was aware of my wish.
Even after I became aware of her intention I asked for her to please choose a different colour dress and I offered to buy one of their choice.
The elder had a pink dress she wanted to wear but the younger had her holy communion that same year. What I didn't know was that SIL intented for her youngest daughter to wear the same dress to my wedding as well, while she was aware of my wish.
Even after I became aware of her intention I asked for her to please choose a different colour dress and I offered to buy one of their choice.
my advice, get another therapist.
I bet the other girl was miffed he didn’t dump gf that day cause they were flirting so good. She may have right led him something that ruined it for him.
Only you can decide whether to stay with your unfaithful wife, but either way, you should sign up for both couples therapy and individual therapy to support you through the decision-making process and aftermath
Oh, I misunderstood. Well, if you feel like she isn’t taking your feelings seriously enough then you should probably break up! I don’t know what else to say- it sounds like you are unhappy with the relationship. The best you can do is communicate your needs and concerns with your gf and take what she says seriously. If you aren’t compatible, then move on!
You can write her a song or a poem and recite it to her. Super corny, but I love corny.
This is nightmare fuel. Get out of that relationship – get sole custody. Raise your daughter right. The mother is a deadbeat. Don't let her turn your daughter into one as well. Kids need love, affection, mental stimulation, support, safety/security, healthy food, etc. I fucking hope the mother isn't smoking around the kid. congrats on getting sober. Get out of this codependent relationship immediately.
Isn't that horrible?
The closeness at lovemaking does something magical to a beloved ones face.
So it's clear she doesn't love him at all.
sorry, sometimes we can do all the rights things and still fail
He does, but he doesn't seem hurt, we were actually laughing while disagreeing about it lol but yeah, he just probably had a rough with them in the past, and his family were really good to me.. but still even if I try to convince him and with any reasons I give him, No means No haha..