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Marie and Tom, 21 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Marie and Tom
Date: November 1, 2022
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I’ve definitely talked about how I feel about it with him. He swears up and down he’s not lying or hiding anything, yet doesn’t even let me touch his phone to scroll thru his emails to see if he’s having any porn accounts (he previously was addicted to porn). He use to have thousands of photos of porn in a folder on his desk and called them “trophies”.
It sounds like she just needs you to tell her you're unhappy with the chore situation. In a calm moment, maybe when the youngest is napping and the oldest is at school: sit down with her and talk it out. Ask her how she's been doing staying home rather than working. Let her talk, and be open to whatever she shares with you. Then-only after this first discussion; if she will continue to be a sahm, tell her you want to change the chore arrangements. Ask her what she can more easily do around the house, keeping in mind you two have a toddler who needs to be looked after. This might mean laundry is easier: kiddo can help fold socks. It might mean dishes are harder: kiddo is too young to be out of sight long enough for her to accomplish much in that area.
Be willing to compromise. When the youngest is older and off to school, or even just more independent things will get easier. If she needs scheduled time out with other adults, do what you can to make that happen once or twice a week. She may just need some time away from being a full time mom to recharge. You should both be doing that for each other if possible.
Good ?
That's what has me here updooting comments asking for more information/asking if this is common behavior when they talk about things that upset her or her feelings and this is a small look at a big picture.
It's also possible I've just read too many Best Updates where the poster comes back with more information they didn't think relevant at the time and what we have here is just literally It with nothing deeper going on (or, like someone pointed out in crass fashion is OP is looking for a way out for various reasons. Also possible.)
My question is if you are so nasty and gross then why is he with you? Every person needs to value themselves and his body count of 300 women is astounding. Have you two been tested for sexually transmitted diseases? Both of you seem to sleeping with way too many partners.
Gonna give some advice here based off my own childhood: my mom took off to go be with other guys and party and have a nice life and ditched us (me and my brothers) with our paternal grandparents. When they passed away, their son (my half uncle) swooped in and grabbed us up for the childcare stipend. He blew through the money on drugs and got high and screamed at us (I was about 11) while burning our grandparents things. Not once did my mom come back into our lives and check up on us, until she was dating a no money earning loser and she remembered that childcare stipend.
Don't let your ex back into your daughter's life. A person who can walk away from their child until they need something is absolutely not going to be a good parent influence in that kid's life. Ever. I'm almost 30 now and my mom still tries to treat me and my grown brothers like ATMs. Were my dad or grandparents alive today, they'd be out for her blood I have no doubt. Your ex has made her choices, and those choices didn't once include thinking of you, let alone the child you had together. I'm assuming you love your daughter. If so, the absolute best thing you can do is go on living your life, be a good dad, and never let your ex back into either of your lives. As a young child, your daughter might be confused and ask questions; when she grows up, she'll understand and undoubtedly be grateful for not having someone like that in her life. I didn't really get why my dad's family felt we were better off not knowing our mom when I was a young kid, but by about 15 or so, I understood. The best thing you can ever do for your daughter is move on, block the ex entirely, and never look back. Best of wishes OP.
Right, like they are both virgins as well. Has she actually measured it? Lots of guys will say their dicks are much larger than they actually are. 7.5 or 8 inches is normal porn star “big dick” size. Ron Jeremy of famously long dick was 9.75 according to himself. It may be ops bf has a 9.5 inch unit in which case all the tips given are useful, but that could also easily be an exaggeration.
well when i do tell him how i feel he shuts down, i think bc he’s embarrassed(i can’t blame him, i’d probably feel the same). I feel like i’ve been as gentle and accommodating as possible so i’m kind of out of ideas you know?
I did countless research on other fourms and reddit to see what I should do, and how to do it, and what happened. ANd 99% of people said it would not improve. So it was time to go
If husband isn't willing to do what he should
Holy shit, you quoted it and STILL misread it.
It really hurt me to see a Christmas card that says I love you and hope you're having a good year with guilt money in it. I was distraught. I don't want her to attempt to contact me again.
Dude seriously?! Who buys a friend a car without talking about it with them first? I think the husband's reaction is totally normal here. I'd be apoplectic if someone bought my wife a car. That's my job, not his.
I’m a big fan of language and I see your point. I think calling it a “big impact” is a bit of an exaggeration though. I’m pretty careful with my diction and have studied a fair amount of English, but I wasn’t even sure if “transpeople” or “trans people” was grammatically correct. I don’t think the difference will have any impact on most people. However, I’m not saying to doesn’t matter at all and I will be conscious of this with my own diction.
I’m bias here having grown up with a step parent who had serious issues with me so take this with a grain of salt I suppose…
Leave your wife before she destroys your relationship with your daughter. You haven’t bought your daughter a gift in a few years because your wife hates your daughter and makes you feel awful about showing her any affection… your daughter may start to feel you choose your wife over her and start harboring resentment and hurt and you may lose her because your wife has issues.
It seems her “sudden change” happened after you got married and not recently which to me sounds like she may have wanted that large disposable income more than she wanted to be a step mom…. She’s criticizing you into not showing care or love for your daughter, won’t compromise, doesn’t want to help your daughter with ANYTHING…. there’s HUGE issues here and I highly advise you consider where your priorities stand.
I appreciate your insight and thoughts. I truly wasn't trying to be cruel at all. If she persists in asking me about those thoughts continuously, what would be a better way to respond as a whole? Truly curious, I am just trying to learn how to navigate these scenarios.
I keep thinking but he’s not a cheater or mean person. But starting to see he is not a nice guy.
I mean, I think that other poster up above put it really well:
“I mean, some people do pole dancing for exercise and fun. But to deny that it often has a sexual component is again, being naive. It's not a bad thing, but those in the community not doing it as a kink can't really be offended when someone makes assumptions. Because there's a lot of kink in that community.”
Soooo… cmonnnnnn
I'm old so I'm asking earnestly: is that right? Because Courtney Stodden is still very female presenting and was never male in body but identifies as NB now.
(They are most famously known for being married to Doug Hutchinson – AKA as Percy from the Green Mile- when they were 16 and he was 51.)
I mean, it kinda sounds like he’s going to be your pimp. Which is entirely fair to feel weird about.
Talk with her about what she wants. Don’t have groomsmen, just do the two of you guys. Have all your people sit together, no sides. She has joined your life m, there is no reason to split it out
I meant NEST, there are a few other similar male bc pills available (if you wanted to research it). He insists that I go on bc despite knowing I have health reasons that prevent it. Thanks for the advice
It was not a joke on his side. The others (men – I was the only woman at the table) made light of it but he was being serious.
Your birthday present should be dumping him and being single. You are not to blame for his cheating. Start separate accounts and things. He is not worth it.
I'm not talking about being brutally honest 100% of the time. I'm talking about being honest, in a long term relationship, about sex.
If your partner is gaining weight to the point of being unhealthy or you're losing sexual attraction to them, um yeah, you should probably say something about that, in as kind and sensitive a way as possible. Withholding your true self to spare hurt feelings does not create a stronger partnership long term.
Lying about sex and sexual pleasure is not something I don't think people, most especially heterosexual women, should be doing if they want to be in a satisfied, healthy sexual relationship.
Fuck what your parents think. This is between you guys. So he expects you to be a teacher, which is a very exhausting and time consuming job, while also doing all the cooking and cleaning, while recovering and with PPD, while he works 10 hours a week?
Why did you procreate with a man-child and why did you not talk about this before having a baby, buying a house and marry someone.
Half the posts here are women complaining about their partners being shit-husbands after being shit partners. No shit.
Extended in law family like some cousins do not greet me. Hello or bye.
His parents bought TFSA under his name when he was a student because they wanted to save taxation (canadian tax). He still use this account for everything his own savings and chequing transaction. I told him to open another bank account. He told me he will deal with his own finance. So basically, he doesn't tell me if he will listen to my advice. He doesn't want me to know more about it.
Yeah I'm not sure how this is sexual assault. OP had no intent to cause harm to her partner. Once he rejected her advances, she didn't continue.
He's basically been telling you he isn't ready for any relationship.
Believe him.
After that, make your own decisions. You don't have to keep him in your life.
I think maybe, and you can maybe look into virtual sessions since your wife travels so much, but you might benefit from couples therapy.
I completely understand traveling is naked, work is stressful. But there's no reason she can't be there to support you. And I honestly find the fact that she doesn't want to call you, or see you, when she's away… Personally I would take that as a red flag. And I too would become extremely uncomfortable with even just wanting to spend time with my partner.
Have you actually talked to her about this though? Have you explained you need more? Because if you have, and you suggest couples therapy and she refuses, I would leave.
She can't manage her stress effectively, and she allows it to affect her relationships/ability to be there for you, it's a problem. A problem she needs to take care of.
Do what the people should of done in the movie poltergeist…
GET OUT (of the relationship)
Are you going to honestly stay in a relationship with someone for the rest of your life and allow this to be norm?
You aren't even married and there are red flags all over the place.
Why are you wasting your time?
It's clear that she isn't going to change. What makes you think marriage will be a catalyst for her to change?
Time to bounce my friend. You can do better.
All the best.
Whenever military personnel pop up in this sub they always have the most fucked up stories.
Dude just lost 2 pussies, man, give him a break
Have friends come. They will be more supportive than your family anyway.
But then who was phone?!
If she didn't cheat, she wouldn't need an STI test, wrap this one and move along, mate.
If she didn't cheat, she wouldn't need an STI test, wrap this one and move along, mate.
If she didn't cheat, she wouldn't need an STI test, wrap this one and move along, mate.
This is straight manipulation. You need to be selfish and watch out for yourself.
My lawd. Didn't think 4 conversations over 4 months with open communication about boundaries was what classifies you as a sex pest these days. Use those terms when warranted. Otherwise, they lose meaning.
I dont see any questions in this.
Should also add that if you go the reconciliation path this is something she should tell HR when she quits. Because she should have zero contact with AP since now except for the last message of saying it's over and never to contact her again.
Well he should because he knew that would hurt you and he did it. He could have slept with anyone else. Honestly he sucks and she sucks. But you took him back, so idk how to help. I just think you need to put yourself first idk how though.
Wtf did I just read. Out of ALL the issues that can happen, this chode is actually angry and sad just because you neglected to mention you like to read fluffy romance novels? Instead of groveling to us about not mentioning it to him (as if it’s a big infraction and trust betrayal), reflect on why it is, you want to date a clown shoe who makes a huge deal out of virtually nothing? If he’s this bad over what books you like to fucking read, the thought of him in action when a real situation happens is scary.
Anything happened during one those time you were out?
I don’t know that he didn’t respond. I didn’t check
You make good points here, thank you.
Just be honest about what you need.
There’s no shame in needing a break, it’s a new relationship and it takes time to adjust.
It does absolutely. Happened to me and thankfully my man understands
I am stunned that so many unrelated people have made the same staggeringly rude and thoughtless comment to you. Who the hell talks to a widow or widower this way??
My advice is move on as soon as someone makes that tasteless joke, because you know right away there’s something wrong with them.
So she wanted a break to cheat on you? Sorry to inform you that there are no “loopholes” to cheating. Either your partner loves you and is loyal to you or they don't. She doesn't. Please show yourself some love and caring and break up with her, you deserve better.
He could possibly get a lawyer involved for harassment, it may cause problems for her or possibly endanger her safety, she doesn't know him well. He also has the right to not be harassed. The point is she messed up making (gave consent) the videos, and yes I agree if he does anything with them she should get the law involved, but nothing she posted indicates he did anything illegal.