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Deep Kiss [50 tokens remaining]
Date: December 10, 2022
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Oh, forgot that child support should be covered in the prenuptial. It should calculate child support after cost of living.
ALSO ONLY CHILDREN THAT ARE BIOLOGICALLY YOUR GET CHILD SUPPORT!
Also in case of divorce she needs to pay for your college so you can finish and actually survive without her as she was the primary earner and you dropped out when she got pregnant (mind you, I don't think this is an IF, as I think she might cheat to baby trap you.)
Also as she likely has a college degree, you should ild put into the prenuptial that you will be the stay at home parent if one is needed and will do college if she earns enough.
Considering you
We both have our flaws. I totally forgave her for “catching up” with her old boss who she slept with while he was married
Personally, there’s absolutely no way I would enter into a financial agreement with someone who was lying to me.
Op, I’m reading some of your replies and I’m having some trouble determining why you asked the questions of giving him time to make his own decisions then are these just his true colors showing? By your own words he’s been physically violent with you, is a weekend hook up ( sorry this does not sound like a relationship), hides his phone from your view, gave you an ultimatum to get an abortion… and you’re getting upset about people pointing out what you’ve said about him? You may be right in that it’s just a snapshot into your life, but a picture is worth a thousand words. Get away from this AH and make an informed decision for you.
I found this rather amusing not your loss of your friend that’s really sad. Would I be wrong to assume that they got married in their church and while you were gay man that was perfectly fine and you’re being gay it’s been perfectly fine up until you find someone to love now all of a sudden it’s a bridge too far for the religion. This is a choice to making thought about the religion. It’s about them being awful people.
Yeah I guess you are right, thank you for the advice
I don’t understand why a) you’re with someone who actually wants to drink and drive, especially given that you have a personal tragedy related to drink driving and b) why you aren’t reporting him as he’s clearly going to do it anyway, posing a risk to OTHER PEOPLE
I may get downvoted to hell for this, but it seems to me an odd contradiction that, nowadays, the conventional (and even legal) wisdom is that woman who is drunk cannot consent to sexual activity, and that therefore any such activity is sexual assault, and, yet, people are quick to assert that an intoxicated woman who gets enticed into sexual activity was just “acting how she wanted to act,” and thus fully consenting. It seems to me it's either one or the other.
I was gonna say my S/O friends more than once have found fake tinders/PoF/bumbles of me…
We share locations with eachother, he works an hour from home and I WFH.
His response is, can you see her sling? (My left arm is paralyzed.) if the answer is no it’s someone using pics to cat fish.
She’s not ashamed of her arm and wouldn’t hide it if she was on a dating profile.
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Happy Cake Day
??? omggggg nooo what do you mean? You think I’m crazy? ?
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I have ASD and also used to suffer from dysmorphia. I realized after a while that not owning more than one mirror (bathroom vanity) helped me from being obsessive. Additionally, practices to help soothe and promote self-love really did the job.
On the flip side, it is not our responsibility to heal our SO’s mental health or their disorders. This genuinely is a battle for her to work through on her own and you can totally be there to support her… just not in a way that turns you into an emotional punching bag. It’s naked for us since we are mostly empathic. I wish there was a black/white answer for all of this.
Furthermore, OP, you will never “need” children. This is 2023, not 1823. You do not need a large brood to run the family farm. No one “needs” children. Many people want them, which is wonderful. Some people want them very much. But it sounds like your BF and his family are mistaking their “want” for a “need” and pushing it on you. You really deserve better.
You deserve so much more. If you’re in the relationship it should be the opposite. When me or my partner accomplish something or do well, we’re so happy for the other person as if it happened to ourselves. That’s how it should be
Big dick energy: hearing a compliment about your average dick and being grateful for all the great sex you have with it.
Small dick energy: hearing a complement about your average dick and deliberately taking it as an insult because you need your lover to lie to you about your dick size for you to “feel like a man”
It's his choice.
Big dick guys out there begging someone to take them on, but he's there getting fucked and sucked, and he's whining about it?
Can’t believe I’m gonna say this old chestnut, but “not all men.” Just the ones predisposed to think they’re at the top of the food chain already. Good men look at that shit and go EWWEEEEEEWWWWWW.
I’d he’s threatening than it’s just his own choice why should you feel guilty? He could just like…not do coke too.
I'm 28. When I was 26 I'd never date a 19yo. They're teenagers in their heads. Good for her to get rid of you. Grow up and date people your own age.
So as someone who is also wlw, I would advised against it but it's obviously up to you both. I will provide some questions/insight about what you should be asking both her and yourself regarding whether to move forward.
1) Is she working full time or in school? Being someone with a full time job whilst dating a student often means that schedules do not line up and priorities are in different places
2) do you want to get married in the next 2-5 years? Do you have a timeline for the future and what you want as a family? She likely does not have this planned out or know what she wants in terms of the future
3) sure you can like the same hobbies and movies but is she as mature as you? Has she lived alone and understand what it's like to have “adult responsibilities”?
These are some questions I believe you need to think about. Ultimately if I was back at the age of 20, I'd ask why a 26 wants to be with me. Like I can't even walk into a bar or club. Similarly if I was a few years older at 26, I'd never want to be with a 20 year old because I want someone who is stable, established, and available for commitment. If she's all this at the age of 20 then I'd question if it's maturity or trauma.
At the end of the day it's not necessarily a matter of whether or not it's good for you, but is this the best person for you? Probably not.
I think your instincts are correct. You married before you really got to know him. Now that he is showing you his true self, you realize you never would have married him if he had acted like this before marriage. You are better off getting out now, before you have kids or are saddled with a mortgage etc.
Tell him what you said here.
He’s taking advantage of you and it needs to stop.
That's great advice, thank you. Low-T is definitely one of the things we've considered as the cause. Once his new job's health insurance kicks in, we're definitely going to the doctor.
The main problem that we have had is that he completely shuts down during arguments, like can barely speak, (he has a lot of trauma).
Then a calm and honest discussion should be okay. Arguments happen because emotions are running high, it's not the best time to solve things anyway. It's when you've both had time to reflect that the actual conversations need to be had.
So, ask him what's really going on with the Rome searches, and what's really going on with the rape searches. Maybe he just wants to play explore some roleplay themes, or maybe it's much more concerning.
I hate to be that person but this is what happens when couples marry so young. She’s is her 20s and wants to go out, party, make bad decisions, and honestly there is nothing wrong with that. She realized she settled down way too fast and is just trying to make the best of her time. You should share your feelings with her but ultimately if she wants to go out, she’s gonna go
You mean your 31 yo toddler yelled in your ear. Find an adult.
He sees you as a parent. Not as a spouse.
You gotta cut him off
Will he leave.. probably…
Naked I know.. but honey he is not a keeper.
Reassure her, but I wouldn’t let her make my life hell over this, I’d sooner breakup. Not letting her insecurity ruin my life, she needs to put some effort in to end it.
So she thinks you and your best friend are in love?
It’s beyond weird he’s having his son ‘breastfeed’ as a way to manage his gender dysphoria. Maybe it’s not about sexual gratification but it is completely self serving
I'm sorry man, but now is the time to work on yourself and start taking steps to decide what kind of person you want to be, what do you want your life to look like?
You trusted her, but she betrayed that and showed that she is not trustworthy.
If nothing else, the only one you can trust now is yourself, but that won't be the case forever. Focus on yourself right now and make healthy choices and eventually you'll attract a lot better quality friends, mate.
She was pretty drunk so idk nd tbh she just had a baby and lately I been feeling like she has been stonewalling me
Cause people dont wanna hear that leaving an ed sufferer is the same as leaving any other ill person. Its an illness, I am very grateful that no one I loved abandoned me during my recovery.
I am fine now eating pizza for breakfast lol
So if op doesn't have proof then he shouldn't speak up? This is horrible advice, at least if you're trynna do the moral thing
Tell the guy the facts and if you have proof then prove it but ultimately the decision on whether or not to believe you lies on the exes partner
You said she was stressed out about work, money. And her son has issues at school. I think it all affects. These problems.
Read what you’ve said!! Your LANDLORD EVICTED YOU because of YOUR BOYFRIENDS YELLING AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR!
Yes you absolutely should “give up on him”. You deserve better than some abusive 37 year old who is threatened by his girlfriend having an apartment.
Neurodivergent was the first thing I thought of too
Updateme!
I see you can't read. Maybe you need to grow a little
So many times and she hasn’t did anything. She doesn’t care
Live! dating …you should use live dating only for sex imo.
If you want a serious relationship that’s not where you should look , I mean yeah sure you could get lucky and find a decent partner there but the chances are pretty low , depending on your standards .
The famous 1 inch punch
It will be the cause though for lack of concentration which leads to mistakes. You can choose what you eat and you can control what and how much you eat. But can you be at the point to cum and stop it?
You might try couples counseling to sort this out. You may have some rigid ideas regarding criterion to meet prior to marriage. Those could be discussed collaboratively. And you both decide. Her eggs are aging and if she wants to have children, your timeline before being willing to commit to her is unfair and unrealistic. Let her go if by now you still don’t want to commit to a life together with her.
This is the way if you want to reach out that one last time. I hope they turn around OP, but I recommend your choice standing up for your soon to be husband. Best of luck.
Well great timing that she's away right now, see if you can get a private session in to talk with the counselor and hear their advice
He was unfaithful to you AND had the audacity to be so with your friend. This took place for MONTHS. He doesn’t deserve your loyalty.
The explanation is that he’s selfish. That’s it. There is no good reason to cheat.
And do you really think an apology will make you feel better? And that’s IF he would even bother to apologize at all.
How could he ever make up for CHOOSING to pursue your FRIEND, lying to you, hiding it from you, FOR MONTHS? he cannot
All you really need to do is get all your stuff together and move out.
Listen here OP: You don't know whether or not someone is a cheater before they cheat. This is the people you trust the most that betray you. I just so happens, that the moment children comes in the picture, for men, their life can become a hundred times worse in an instant. It's something you can never relate to, its not a power a man can have over you. You know if a child is yours, he doesnt. You can't be betrayed to that extend. Truth is, in almost all places on planet earth, if this child is not his, theoretically, he can do nothing. He is forced, to pay his cheater for a child that is not his for the rest of his life. Many people will also shame and hate him, if he'll see the child in a slightly different way, or not be an active part of said childs life. His feelings will as always be ignored, his life negated into a resource. If you cannot understand why men would under all logical circumstances protect themself from what literally causes suicides left and right, if you have to see it as some sort of challenge or insult, instead of a chance to dispel his extremely justified fears, then you're either selfish, or your fear something will be discovered. Go on, downvote me. Act like this isnt literally something many people would rather die than experience, myself included.
The one example you could pull out of your head is about her not knowing laws and getting arrested? Really?
To be fair, my mother recently got arrested because she does the same thing. She was arrested last week and her court date is late next month. I have the paperwork on my desk if you don't believe me. I could have told her she was being foolish but after 30 years of her ignoring everything I say, I've given up and it led to her arrest.
And also to be fair, my girlfriend works in the legal field. I know if I tried to correct her on a law, she would not listen to me. So, unfortunately, yes, really.
But extreme, not extreme, why does it matter? I was illustrating a point. I mean the video game example wasn't extreme. What part of the original conversation was extreme on my end? Asking “Where did you get those?” because I wanted to see the context around it? Technically I didn't even say she was wrong. I was asking where she got her info from because I wanted to make sure it wasn't wrong, not her. I didn't accuse her of anything but she's acting like I did. If I can be more gentle, please tell me how. What could I have done different?
I'm asking for advice. My parents get mad if I try to correct them so I've learned to be as gentle as possible over the years but I don't know how to be any more gentle other than to keep my mouth shut but that just doesn't seem ethical. I don't want her wandering around the world with misinformation in her and her basing her decisions off that misinformation.
You’re being played so naked.
Love yourself girl, he’s not the only man in the world and T R U S T me, and good relationship is not this difficult.
Everyone is entitled to their own dating preferences, and no one should be in an unhealthy relationship with someone who is abusing drugs. But I feel like your last sentence implies that anyone who partakes in the consumption of mind-altering substances is “out of control”?
Sounds like he's got trust issues. That, unfortunately, is not an issue you can force in resolution, Im afraid. He needs to want it for himself, and the fact that he's apologizing but not changing suggests it's a pretty deep-rooted behavior and he doesn't actually want to change at the moment, because its currently easier to feel sorry and apologize in the moment and then forget about it. It may be small things now, but the longer it goes unaddressed, the more likely it is to become a real problem. A relationship MUST be built on trust.
Sounds as if she is thin skinned regardig that subject.
Where does her expectances towards what a woman should contribute come from? It sounds as if she feels she currently underperforms compared to her own (learned?) expectations in herself about what she should contribute.
Could that be? Has she issues with valuing herself, otherwise?
Quit going home on weekends. Creating a new life in a new city takes work. You like the gym so consider a sports league. Try different dating apps. Look for any activities that you are interested in and go. Get out there. Initiate conversations. I moved a couple of years ago so I’ve been there. One of my new friends is actually a woman I didn’t end up buying furniture from but we hit it off so I asked if she’d like to get lunch one day. I’ve met a lot of people after getting my dog. Only get a dog if you really want one. But it’s a great way to meet others. It takes a commitment. You have to reach out. You can’t do that if you leave every weekend.
You need to go see a therapist about problems like your sex addiction, self-esteem issues and depression. These things are not getting better on their own, you need professional help.
Secondly. If you got blackout drunk and then you were unable to consent what that friend did you. You were assaulted. You need to communicate what happened to your BF.
Okay thanks needed to hear this.
Not really. I just ask him if everything is okay and I let him know if he has any issues he knows he can come to me.
Oh wow, yes indeed. Or maybe she knows my husband’s ex-wife
Thanks, I'll look into this more seriously!
You are definitely not safe living with an abusive alcoholic. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. Leave him. Do whatever it takes to get away from him. When he has stopped drinking you might be safe to see him again.
You are dating a pedophile.
Zoom was created for precisely situations like this.
Telecommute mother and baby in for the ceremony.