All this stuff about “too quick” just tells me that the modern world has thoroughly *mis-*educated people on how relationships work. There is no “too quick”. Or, rather, there is, but it's only in hindsight. If you have sex with someone on the first date and then break up, then obviously it was too soon… But if you have sex with them on the first date and then fall in love and get married and are currently writing this as you keep an eye on your kids, the older of which is slightly sick (and incredibly whiny about it), while your wife puts dinner together so that the two of you can eat and get the kids down and go play the same video game… Well, was that “too soon”? Because in terms of ruining the relationship and causing a horrible break-up, it seems to have failed miserably.
I keep thinking about stuff wayyyy in the future. Like marriage and stuff.
That's fine. That just means the relationship is working as intended. You're supposed to be thinking about that. =)
She’s never been in a serious relationship before, really don’t want to overwhelm/smother her.
So… Keep your thoughts to yourself. =)
Or, don't. My wife and I were talking about the future within months of our first date. We did everything too fast, because that just felt natural for us To quote When Harry Met Sally, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” If you're going to have a future with her, the two of you will have to get on the same page at some point. And, frankly, there's nothing wrong with that point being sooner rather than later. Yeah, maybe it scares her off because she doesn't feel about you the way you do about her. That ruins your future with her. But your job, as a single person in the dating world, isn't to create a future with her — it's to create it with somebody. And if she dumps you and gets out of your way, you just took a pretty big step towards finding the actual somebody you're looking for. A break-up isn't a dating failure; it's the more frequent, and of course more disappointing, form of dating success.
Considering your ages and her behavior, don't expect any conversation to go well. She is already emotionally attached to this guy. She will either accuse you of being controlling no matter how you approach it or she will act like she sees where you are coming from but continue the behavior anyway.
Best case scenario this ends with you wanting to break up and she offers to cut him out of her life. Which isn't a good scenario either because it doesn't change anything really. She is 24 and you've been together for four years. She's wanting to play the field. Consider letting her do so single.
You break up with her in a public space. Tell her you can’t have a long conversation about this because your decision has been taken. She won’t die without you. You can also contact a domestic violence help line, explain the situation and ask them how to proceed
It’s not only men lol wtf. I have been cheated on by a woman I was in a relationship with for 7 years.
You keep your thoughts to yourself.
All this stuff about “too quick” just tells me that the modern world has thoroughly *mis-*educated people on how relationships work. There is no “too quick”. Or, rather, there is, but it's only in hindsight. If you have sex with someone on the first date and then break up, then obviously it was too soon… But if you have sex with them on the first date and then fall in love and get married and are currently writing this as you keep an eye on your kids, the older of which is slightly sick (and incredibly whiny about it), while your wife puts dinner together so that the two of you can eat and get the kids down and go play the same video game… Well, was that “too soon”? Because in terms of ruining the relationship and causing a horrible break-up, it seems to have failed miserably.
I keep thinking about stuff wayyyy in the future. Like marriage and stuff.
That's fine. That just means the relationship is working as intended. You're supposed to be thinking about that. =)
She’s never been in a serious relationship before, really don’t want to overwhelm/smother her.
So… Keep your thoughts to yourself. =)
Or, don't. My wife and I were talking about the future within months of our first date. We did everything too fast, because that just felt natural for us To quote When Harry Met Sally, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” If you're going to have a future with her, the two of you will have to get on the same page at some point. And, frankly, there's nothing wrong with that point being sooner rather than later. Yeah, maybe it scares her off because she doesn't feel about you the way you do about her. That ruins your future with her. But your job, as a single person in the dating world, isn't to create a future with her — it's to create it with somebody. And if she dumps you and gets out of your way, you just took a pretty big step towards finding the actual somebody you're looking for. A break-up isn't a dating failure; it's the more frequent, and of course more disappointing, form of dating success.
Considering your ages and her behavior, don't expect any conversation to go well. She is already emotionally attached to this guy. She will either accuse you of being controlling no matter how you approach it or she will act like she sees where you are coming from but continue the behavior anyway.
Best case scenario this ends with you wanting to break up and she offers to cut him out of her life. Which isn't a good scenario either because it doesn't change anything really. She is 24 and you've been together for four years. She's wanting to play the field. Consider letting her do so single.
You break up with her in a public space. Tell her you can’t have a long conversation about this because your decision has been taken. She won’t die without you. You can also contact a domestic violence help line, explain the situation and ask them how to proceed
Yeah, I think that kind of joke is fine when it’s not coming from a dude that dates teenagers lmao