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Melissa, 20 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Melissa
Date: October 11, 2022
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My ex treated my dog terribly. Then he got a puppy and acted like the puppy should have been born knowing who he wanted the puppy to act. The ex is gone now. I have both dogs. They are great and my new bf is in love with them. The way people treat animals matters to me and I also see the transfer to people. I would not stay.
This is just the stupidest thing I've yet to read. She's 7 hours away meaning, if she takes you for child support, she's getting the ENTIRETY of it. Because there's not going to be split custody unless you're willing to drive 14 hours every other weekend.
Your wife sounds insecure and controlling
It sounds like getting out and about isn't a priority for her, and that's okay, but it is your job to figure out if you can take care of yourself and do the active things you enjoy without her or if you really need a partner who will do things like this with you.
You mentioned health–does she have any actual health problems? Or is it more you just need more activity in your life than she does?
Phones don’t randomly delete anything and how old is this babysitter ?
Absolutely.
You should try reach out one more time and ask for answers as you deserve to know why he’s behaving this way. If he doesn’t respond then you must try and move along and not look back. Life is too short for having this type of behaviour thrust on you. If he does respond then it’s up to you how to proceed afterwards. I wish you well, be strong and let us know how you get along. Try have a great festive period buddy.
this is a person who doesn't respect your boundaries and punishes you for not giving him what he wants. trust me, you don't want to be arrested in a foreign country for having sex in public. you also definitely don't want to have sex where children can see you or other people that are not consenting to it. your bf is a gross man.
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Dang, I wish I read this before, I just asked her how the city she went to was and if she was able to go to a museum (she talked about that). My sister convinced me to send that, but I’ll give it more time between texting her. We had texted all day yesterday up until saying good night and my sister said she could be waiting for me to text her, but I’ll give it more time between texts.
I put a lot of thought into a gift and it fell a bit flatter than expected before… some are a hit, some are a miss
the person who received the gift doesn't get any blame beyond not giving me more to go on
there's nothing wrong with still being thankful…
hope your gf can get over it herself.. it's not like your daughter got pissed off and threw it away
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Came here to say the same. My three lads often had baths with their lovely Nan and Grandad, with me on hand to get them out. I come from a family where Dad would be in the bath with a flannel over his “bits”, my Mom sitting on the loo (toilet seat down!) and me, my sis and bro sitting on the floor with mugs of tea, talking about our day. We did this all our lives and I can clearly hear my Dad (now departed) saying “Can’t I get a bath in bloody peace?!”
Why is it about money with you?
Again no from me. But some people can keep this as a fantasy
He's lying to you and possibly himself. I'm so sorry OP but this is over.
When you see him just be like, “Oh hey dude. How's it going” and turn away without waiting for a response. If he tries to engage you in conversation outside work related topics, cut him off and politely tell him you'd like to keep discussion to work related issues.
Honestly, I'd personally dump someone over this. Just one last message of “If you're not mature enough to tell me what's wrong and talk to me about it, you're not mature enough to be in a relationship with me. We're done.”
See how fast he responds then. ?
She had a 10 year highschool reunion the first night she was back and ended up drinking way to much (normally she doesn't drink at all) she told me she had a Margarita and five shots of tequila during the night and ended up going back to her friends house with her ex boyfriend and she had sex with him. She claims he started it and she just went along with it.
If she was that drunk, how does she remember any of this? Sounds like an excuse.
If we divorce she will home back to her home state and I will lose my children and they will loose there entire lives and all the friends they have made.
Contact a lawyer TODAY and inform yourself about your options. You don't have to go with a divorce, but you need to have all the relevant information to make a decision.
The majority of men don't like women who has “been around”. It's in our nature and yes, there has been many studies in psychology regarding this matter. It's an evolutionary trait. It is what it is, he's not going to want to be with you further.
If you are going to have kids and property together a divorce becomes MUCH easier than a break up. The court system already has systems in place to deal with those things in the case of a divorce. A breakup becomes MUCH trickier, especially when it comes to property.
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No. She is probably healing and bettering herself for someone that actually cares about her. Don’t do that to her.
I agree with you ?.
He is finally showing you who he is. Read everyone else's comments. They are right and give good advice.
Don't go 50:50, get sole custody with visitation for him and child support.
Ya got it backwards. He kept gaslighting about why she laughed. She's upset because he kept twisting it to “you laughed at my insecurity” when that's obviously not what happened.
Of course anyone would get upset at others insisting something that didn't happen happened. Yeah if someone keeps insisting you did something you didn't do that would sit with you all day and make you upset.
for her laughing at his biggest insecurity
You're doing it right now. She did not laugh at his insecurity. Are you and OP really that dense? People have explained it over and over in here. I've said it over and over in my posts with you what she was laughing about. Are you just not reading or are you not able to understand?
This is the gaslighting that's going on. Insisting she did something she didn't do. It's completely obvious she laughed at the combined ridiculousness of saying it randomly on the commute and how he just now knew there was a name for it meaning he never even looked it up before.
It's not the insecurity. If you want to claim gaslighting is going on – then it's you lot and OP doing it by twisting things that didn't happen.
This should extend to the relationship itself.
This is correct. If she was actually trying to change she would have told him about her past.
I'm petty and get really cranky without sleep. I would start bothering him in the middle of his sleep. If he's not coming to be till 3 I'm assuming he's sleeping till noon. Time for 9 am calls to see how his day is going! Or early morning aerobics in your room to start your day! Take up harmonica, those are a delight to hear some one learn to play. Sorry that's not advice.
Straight up tell him waking you up for nookie is off the table till you are healed from birth. You're not denying him sex, he's denying you sleep. Explain your still up for it during waking hours but once you are asleep he's on his own. If it happens again, you'll be purchasing a harmonica.
I know it’s average or maybe even slightly above average depending on who you ask.
But it’s an irrational insecurity of mine. Because of my race and height, there is an expectation for me to be much bigger than average down there as well. I’ve never had complaints from girls I’ve been with but definitely felt they were expecting more once it got to that stage. Especially when ‘not yet in the mood’ it can seem small compared to the rest of my body.
Anyhow, i know it’s an irrational fear of mine to not be deemed as enough in that sense, but I feel it’s not too much to ask to maneuver around that in a relationship. I certainly do it with her insecurities.
This isn't a red flag as many rich men force their wives to sign pre-nups. It IS a red flag that she didn't want to allow you to protect YOUR assets in return. You say she relented on that and the pre-nup will now cover both sides assets. Ok, that still doesn't take the initial disparity out of play, however, just that it got resolved after a big fight over it.
– The “I don't trust you enough”.
She said that in response to when I wanted to protect my assets rather than sign an unilateral prenup. Her intent was that I wouldn't have my own lawyer go over the document . I can give her the benefit of the doubt and say it is her naivete.
>> So, yeah, if that's no you… do not get married.
Thank you for the advice and insight.
Honestly, DNA test should be normalized. It is just something that women cannot understand. It isn't necessarily a trust issue, although in this instance it does seem that way.
Do the test.
What's his gf posts about? All I saw was his post history and its wow
Dude, it didn’t change her. She continually cheats on you and doesn’t plan on changing. As long as you’re willing to stick around, this will keep happening.
Is your advicevto men similar? If they're with a low libido partner, or someone with a responsive or complicated sexual desire should men leave?
You have no obligation to stick around.
Possibly, but don't take the bait. Even if this is just a temp job it's never great to get fired for something like office fraternization. Nothing positive ever comes from trying to date coworkers.
He gaslit you the whole year ? good riddance, now you don't have to be friendly, just polite for your kid
I really hope that OP takes your advice. What a vile person that “friend” is.
If he is going to be living there it is no longer “my place my rules.” When you talk to him you can’t go in with that mindset.
Any real pet owner knows that not all living situations are available to them with their pet, and when we get our pets we do so with the dedication of only living places that allow our pet. You are well within your rights to say that this place is not large enough, but he is within his to say that he won’t live! somewhere without his bird.
I will say that it is completely awful to spring this on him AFTER the fact. If you had a problem it should have been disclosed in advance of his moving and definitely before adopting more pets. You made this problem not him, and so it is really up to you to bear any burdens that come with this issue, since you didn’t disclose the issue in advance.
She's either got a thing for her daughter's BF or they belong to HER BF.
This is way too odd for there to not be more to it.
Babe a therapist can help you go from your current mindset to wherever you need to be. We cannot help you with the amount of info you gave. Most of us are not qualified to help you change your frame of mind. Im actually not really sure what your question is.
Sure, you might be able to do this all by yourself, but that will most likely take much longer. You deserve help and support to process what sounds like abuse in your childhood. Youre over 30 and its still affecting you day to day.
Why do you think that ?
Yikes. What do you think?
The red pill leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. You made the right call.
Text his wife and make sure she knows what's going on. She deserves to know that he's been exposing her to potential STDs and spending their money so he can get his penis wet. If he was already planning on leaving her then this information changes nothing.
It was very inconsiderate of you to accept a spot that involved you moving to another country for years before you even told her about it. If you intended to stay together, this basically means that you also accepted on your gf's behalf that she would commit to a LDR for 4+ years, without giving her any chance to tell you how she felt about that.
No one is saying you should have refused the offer. Just that you could have taken a few days to let her know and talk it through before making a decision of that magnitude. To not talk it over first sent a clear message to your gf that the med school spot was your top priority and she needed to get on board or get lost. She understood the message and picked get lost. I don't think you can walk it back now. Just accept that you want different things for your futures and keep in mind that if you're in another relationship that starts to get serious, you should consult your partner in big life decisions if you want to keep them
is she on any types of medication ? a lot of times that can cause one to lose their sex drive. however, even if she's not on meds, you could just be sexually incompatible.
but, if you used to do it 4-5 times a week, this could just be an ebb and flow. most sexual relationships have their ups and downs — libido isn't constant, especially for those who menstruate as time of the month can have a LOT to do with it.
but you're right, sexual compatibility is a big factor in a relationship for some people. talk to her about it — don't whine or pressure her, just ask how she's feeling, if there's anything you can do, etc.
is she on any types of medication ? a lot of times that can cause one to lose their sex drive. however, even if she's not on meds, you could just be sexually incompatible.
but, if you used to do it 4-5 times a week, this could just be an ebb and flow. most sexual relationships have their ups and downs — libido isn't constant, especially for those who menstruate as time of the month can have a LOT to do with it.
but you're right, sexual compatibility is a big factor in a relationship for some people. talk to her about it — don't whine or pressure her, just ask how she's feeling, if there's anything you can do, etc.
People cut siblings out of their life all the time for shitty behavior.
It seems like you have a good reason not to trust him.
I saw another reddit comment on a large age gap post that said they were making a collection to share with 20 year olds who doubt how bad these types of relationships tend to get.
Weird, and bc it's your friend group, it's not like he can hook up without someone telling you.
So are you going to ask why he declined on your behalf or just show up on the tour?
What exactly are you expecting from posting this? You seriously don’t think you are in an even remotely healthy relationship do you?
6 years and now this? How was it swept under the rug as a 6- year phase? Did you not spend holidays together? I don’t get it
It will subside once you get married. Everyone who gets married gets that feeling to an extent. Don’t let it psych you about, marriage is a big deal, but clearly he’s the right guy. Don’t let your fears limit your joy, go get married, live! happily ever after. It will be fine 🙂
You’re a second choice, throw the whole man away.
Yeah those'll do it
This person is not fit for you as a partner. He is unsympathetic, and capable of punishing you for your history with mental illness by taking shots at you. It seems like a red flag for controlling and manipulative behavior down the line. Let him go. You should opt for a partner who is healthy and emotionally supportive.
I don't think it's on her as much since she was 17-20 and he was 27-30.
Okay and they literally said the person they're messing around with is fwb.
Who gives two shits if you meet a guy for a booty call? Some people actually enjoy having sex. That doesn't make them morally corrupt lmao.
My second husband is EIGHT years younger than me, but I met him when I was 48 and he was 40….funnily, although I joke about him being my 'toyboy' nobody is concerned about the age gap, nobody has ever called me pe4do!
I joke that I was 18 when he was 10, I've seen pictures of him then, he was cute but I wouldn't have 'fancied' him, he was a child! I met him when he was an adult!
My first husband was three years older FYI…..I was 20, he was 23! Still adults!
Better now than later. The help you need is help accepting this through therapy. It's not in changing her mind because you can't change her this way – she's already tried and failed.
Breaking up is very hot and will hurt a lot, but you'll heal and life will go on. Time heals all wounds, but therapy will make it more effective and faster.
Thank you. It's been so very hot…
If she weighed the same as she did before would you be happy? I doubt it. Not taking care of her hygiene and life is a turn off too. It’s not just her weight. She isn’t being an active and participating partner.
Why are you two so controlling over music? You say in an ideal world you wouldn't want her going to a concert, you're going to one behind her back…. This is such a strange issue which might be a catalyst for a whole host of other problems.
You obviously want to have control over the relationship. I could tell that much just from reading the initial post. So you get what you want, but then you aren't happy with the outcome.
If it were me (and it has been, before), I would start thinking about why I'm so dissatisfied all the time and try to find ways I can change that
Find a new husband. This one is an idiot at best, and sounds a manipulative immature abuser too.
Um…what?
What a charming man you've got there. I see why you broke up with him. If he cannot get the condom on without lube, HE is the one that does not know how condoms work.
judging from the comments i've read here… you are an alcoholic
Maybe she was just being friendly. It is very hot to say from an outside perspective. Now that she is aware of how it makes you feel, observe her.
This is 100% it, chief.
What is your goal here?
I think you would be in the clear to tell her tust he officially no longer qualifies as the guy you don’t have to worry about, so no more casual sleepovers. (Frankly the sleepovers during the previous period are suddenly a lot more suspect, given how she jumped into bed with him. I think her insistence that you didn’t have to worry about him might have been a lie even at the time.
Frankly if all you told her was “this is too weird for me, I’m out” you’d still be in the clear. You do not owe her a relationship. If being with her doesn’t make you happy, don’t be with her.
If he wanted to he would. Men don’t make excuses if it’s something they want to do. He doesn’t want you to meet his family. End of story.
yeah. i wouldnt want it to happen to me but honestly if it happened to my spouse and they didnt really care i wouldnt be mad at them
Leave. He will eventually do it. He’s warming u up to the concept
THIS RIGHT HERE^^^
Hahahah nooooooo
Get tested again yourself to make sure and please use condoms. You should know that at your age. If he doesn't give a fuck about condoms and going it raw with you, he's most likely doing it with others too. Or he could've already been carting STD's before you even met.
I didn’t send anything, I drafted a message in my notes but my housemate said to sleep on it so I’ve woke up today and now unsure about even talking to him because then it makes it more real and I think we probably both want to forget about it lol! Not because it wasn’t great but because it’s wrong.
We left a long while ago.
I no longer acquiesce to these kinds of “cultural norms” in the workplace. I decided that if I want to do something nice for someone, it's because I chose to. I used to fear the peer pressure, because like I said, people will try to guilt you into joining in for the cause. You can send your personal condolences in a card or even just verbally, but only if you want to.
Exactly.
🙂
Your 20. You have lots of time to 'test the waters' and find the right person that you are compatible with. Just break up. Don't waste time trying to fix things.
i hate the part where they don't even pretend anymore. or they're not happy about things you say to them, or give them, because they are that much checked out of the relationship.
in her case, she's probably been thinking about this for a while, so she'll have a leg up on you in the sense of not grieving as much as you will. for you, it's a shock and a sudden decision to hear from your wife, and you'll need time to grieve and process it.
but unfortunately, the decision to divorce only needs one person's choice to do so.
She has anger issues for someone to not understand the situation that occurred then she has issues, STRONG issues.
I actually have a friend who said he may have written the letter himself but I’m not sure about that.
Have you had covid or otherwise been ill recently? My periods are also pretty regular but got delayed when I had covid.
she is cheating on you. better get your shit together and lawyer up.
So he still hangs out with them and does things beyond partying?
I dunno… your post sort of comes across as if you both think he should automatically be included in things.
Maybe he, and possibly you, expect too much from others. There’s more to friendships than saying “I like this thing, I expect you to let me partake in everything related to that thing”. That’s moving way too fast, especially with something as personal as a weekend away. There’s no way I’d expect people from work to invite me on a trip, unless I was really good friends with them already.
My advice to your partner would be to start slow. Build bonds first. Start with just one person he can make friends with. Do casual things like hang out at a bar or cafe or whatever. Don’t make grand gestures like doing engineering works or expecting to go on mini vacations. Those things come with time and trust.
I would advise him not to get disheartened and not to throw away potential friendships because of his feelings of rejection. Instead he should be patient and slow. Don’t force things.
Finally, because of his senior position at work it’s best for him to focus on making friends outside of work, because in reality most people don’t want to hang around with their boss.
That’s what you think? Even though he is explicitly saying the opposite?
Do you think she didn’t turn HER life upside down to be with you?
Being in a relationship with someone who has problems going on is emotionally draining (but can be very worth it if you love them and know they would reciprocate). A relationship with someone who says horrible things is worse. She’s in both.
You chose to leave home, leave your job, and burn bridges with friends. You didn’t need to move in with her or quit your job. You didn’t need to cheat on her and make her worry about female friends, and you also could’ve tried to part with them in a way that was amicable, or asked your gf for permission to contact them through text-only, and she can see the conversations.
IMO the two of you are fundamentally incompatible. You require affection and attention regularly and he withholds those things when he doesn’t get his way. That’s harmful to you and his inability to communicate his feelings/needs/expectations BEFORE withholding affection is a giant red flag.
If I were in your position, I would start planning an exit strategy. Find a job, place to live!, roommates, etc.
I honestly came on this subreddit for advice on how to talk to her about this situation. I got very little that was helpful mostly people just telling me I’m an asshole. However that doesn’t really matter as I’ve spoken with my sister and this person is no longer coming. She agreed that she jumped the gun with inviting him and that it wasn’t fair to everyone else.
UpdateMe!
I noticed one thing in your comments. You mentioned you expressed your love in writing but do you say it? How are you at physically manifesting your love? Talking like holding hands, rubbing her shoulders when she’s stressed, hugs, rubbing her feet etc. Try this. Get close, look her in the eye, put both hands on each side of her face, kiss her tenderly and tell her “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you.” Tell her why you love her, mention all the little things she does and says that makes your life a better place and that you will spend the rest of your life trying to make her as happy as she has made you.
You’re on the right track with the poetry but add physical touch and words spoken as well. Good luck
Punch Bob.
I'd believe her stance over the years that she hates cheaters. But after being together for 25 years, it doesn't mean that she didn't find it exciting to talk to another man about interests outside her own. She got to learn about new music, and about the idea of vegetarianism. She got the thrill of her phone buzzing and what new thing she could learn. Exciting stuff! But once you pressed her on her actions, she saw it in the light of day and she was horrified. She suddenly thought about her stance. She thought of the things she believes in so strongly. She thought, “Oh my god! I was becoming victim to the very thing I despise for no good reason other than it made me feel fresh and new. What's wrong with me?!” You might talk to her about what new things you both could explore so she doesn't feel old.
You have crossed over into the land of contempt. Know your worth.
Let me guess….. narcissist.
You can’t help it as much as she can’t help it. It’s the reality. Just tell her you love her and you wish her well.
Spending the night is a deal breaker
Eeeew
He's most likely cheating and trying to deflect. He knows damn well it's not you in that photo, I promise you.
Well, he doesn't want to hang with your family for 4 days, what is wrong with that?
I’m just not the most secure person in a relationship, as I said it’s obviously a me problem that I need to solve, I guess if the girl I’m with didn’t do some of the things she does I wouldn’t have half these problems. She’s just constantly talking to other guys and hanging with them and exes. I’ve stated how I’ve felt but she’s not going to change, maybe that’s a door for me to find someone to values my feelings and boundaries. She’s not someone that’s un loyal but it’s just very hot to explain. She’s just so friendly towards everyone it’s her personality I guess. And she’s so independent she doesn’t need me she wants me and wouldn’t have a problem walking away if she has to. It’s a roller coaster of emotions right now lol
We might use a deodorant spray like Febreze (I guess Febreze would be the closest thing to house perfume in middle America).
I am calling this shenanigans. She’s not “triggered” by your stable relationship, she just simply does no want to hear about it, and uses buzz phrases (incorrectly) to shut you up. Why? Who knows, usually envy and jealousy are big reasons, but you know her, not us.
You may be out growing this friendship and maybe find friends who want to see you happy, hear about your happy things, and celebrate your moments with you, rather than people who bring you down, depress you and rather you feel like crap all the time.
Dump him
Sounds like they want an inheritance. You can tell sil if you want financial advice, you’ll go to a financial advisor.
Agreed on the nice let-down version, that's what I always used.
“I had a nice time (don't over-enthuse) but I don't think we're a match” is perfect.
Not “you're a great guy, but…” because he can argue if he's so great why won't you see him again? Just no.
I used to always add 'Good luck in your search' (it was live! dating)
This guy I'd also block, though.
I hear you my man. I decided to end it, these comments really opened my eyes.
I stopped when he blew you off on St. Patrick’s Day, and then when YOU called him, he asked for sex? What are you doing honey?
This is the harsh truth! Time has a way of feeling like it is accelerating the older you get.
And no sex at all the entire time? Like…dating someone for a whole year and we hadn’t had sex, I’d be out a long time ago.
So all i am hearing is that Yu are fighting for something and someone who has given up years ago.
I would.be open with him and say that either he gets into therapy for his troubles and starts working WITH YOU on the troubles, you don't think it has a future. Because that is the fact, this can not have a future if he expects you to do it all while he wallows in self pity
Because blackmail of this is your child pay me or I'm telling your family you're a deadbeat to multiple men pays better than child support from the court But considering this post screams creative writing it's because the op doesn't know how these things actually work
Just FYI as a mental health professional, people who aren't autistic very rarely even ask themselves if they might be autistic. It's likely that his self dx is accurate. Take into consideration that your understanding of what autism is may be underdeveloped. A lot of people have an incredibly narrow perspective of what autism can look like. From the outside, it can be imperceptible.
…so, you're still with her because…?
This is being spun in multiple directions.
You guys broke up because, as you have stated, you never saw each other because of a difference in work hours. You claimed you “took a break”. But you know “taking a break” is breaking up. Unless you both agree to not see others and have a specific time frame where you plan to reconvene and reexamine the relationship, you broke up. He slept with this girl. I may have missed it but I didn't see anything about that kind of conversation happening. He got better hours. You got back together. Once you were aware of what happened, you both agreed to cut off contact with her. She has now sent you the video. First, if he didn't know about the recording, you both need to immediately file a police report and inquire about a restraining order. Second, you need to MAKE SURE you have her blocked on all social media, phone, email, everything you can think of. Same for your boyfriend. Screenshot every bit of interaction you did have with her, even if it was one sided.
I really hope this relationship is worth the trouble you're going through.
Creepy and disgusting. Girl, get another teacher. So inappropriate and so wrong. Find someone you’re own age, geez, who isn’t married.
So, as a woman with blond hair and blue eyes I always liked the oposit in men, dark hair and brown eyes. But somehow I mostly had boyfriends with blue eyes, because in the end that's not the criteria when one falls in love… And I would tell them that their blue eyes where beautiful, because 1) they where, and 2) there is the thing when I fall in love lots of things in the partner suddenly look beautiful to me, even when it is not my usual preference. This kind of fades out after some time, but can come back now and then when the love can be feeled stronger.
The other thing is that he has brown eyes himself, can this be connected to a negative self image? Do others in his family have blue eyes?
I guess I would confront him, tell him to have a close look at your eyes, and if he doesn't see the beauty he should seriously consider seeing an optician… I did that some decades ago with a bf who told me he didn't like my body shape (not enough of Marilyn Monroe). Fun fact, later seems he liked it so much that he dated a girl with the same body type after we quitted… Telling someone “this is beautiful, and you are just wrong” can really help breaking the narrative they(or someone else) told them.
who within my family my son can or cannot see
OMG, you are so dense..!
Obviously, your DIL does not want her husband cosying up to the cousin (eeewww) he used to sleep with.
What gives HER the right you ask? Your son is HER husband; he is accountable to her now, NOT YOU. And she has the right to ask for respect; she deserves it. She can set her boundaries and your son will step up IF he wants to save HIS family (emphasis on HIS, which does not include you).
You are extremely disrespectful. You will reap what you sow and then will go all pikachu-faced in surprise when you get your just desserts!
You should realize that what you did is manipulative and wrong and then learn how to deal with your first break up. What you did may have cost you that friendship. He doesn't have to forgive you, ever again. He might end up forgiving you due to your age but you don't get a say in whether he does or not. These are the consequences of your own actions.
Basically be sad and move on.
I'm sorry you've have this trauma from your past, and I admire you for facing up to it. It clear that this is affecting your marriage. This is not your fault. None of this is. It's a normal part of any traumatic experience. You're doing what you can to deal with a truly bad hand you've been dealt. You need to look into getting individual therapy for your trauma, because that is the only way you can begin to heal. Hugs.
Going by the start of my relationship with my wife, it would not be pretty. I can't imagine it ending any way close to how it started.
i think, the problem here for him was, not the conservational point of view, but the fact that they have been a couple a year, and no sex, but she did it with randoms before on first date/hookup culture etc…
Try this. Have her list her friends in order of importance in her life, hopefully you’ll be at the top. Have her put a mark near all of the ex BF and the guys who want to be with her, hopefully they will be near the bottom. Depending on how many friends she has, ask her “what if you limited your time with those who aren’t that important in your life and spent more time and energy on those who play a bigger role in your life. It’s not the quantity of friends that matter, it’s the quality. I’d rather you spend more time with those who love you and have your best interests at heart.”
Most young people like your GF think that the friends they have now will be there forever. From that age, I can count on one hand the number of friends who have been in my life still. She needs to learn to prioritize on what’s really important in a friendship.
You're the one making assumptions here. I told you, I'd have said the same thing if they'd been a 20M and 41F. Brain development isn't complete until age 25 or so, whatever somebody's sex or gender.
Also, hypocritical much?
Your feelings are valid, but you have to figure out what really bothers you about it and work on it. If he stops watching lesbian porn the root issue will still be there because this goes beyond that. But it’s not absurd at all.
She called you gorgeous and you don't know if it's a compliment? Take the W, yo.
While it isn't strange for you to feel that way, tell me is being able to have “free” time fir yourself, unconstraint by relationship, and the abilty to fuck around casually worth losing your gf over?
This is the question only you can answer, but let me tell you one thing. Some people never get in relationship with the “right” person for their whole lifes. Throwing away what you have might (but not necessarily will), be something you will regret for the rest of your life.
Thank you… I truly want to just say it an go from there an see how it goes. I think I’m just overly nervous/anxious
You should do what you promised yourself in this relationship to do. Leave.
His past or trauma is no excuse to step on boundaries that you've clearly given to him in this relationship. And he simply ignored it thinking you'll keep on forgiving him no matter what.
“sweet, genuine, loyal and chivalrous. I truly feel like I am priority to him” Thats the description of a guy that has nothing to hide to you.
As sweet as he may be on the outside. He is emotionally immature and does not respect your needs and has no interest to resolve your feelings getting hurt.
Of course they don't want you to move far. What parent wants to not be able to see their kids easily and when they want to? Only garbage parents that don't care about their kid.
They are not wrong for explaining the risks. There are always risks. You will have no net to fall back on if needed. That's just the reality of moving away from family.
But they aren't stopping you. They never said you can't go. They never said if you go that they don't react to be your parents anymore.
You are their kid. They will be happy for you and accept whatever it is that you choose to do.
Move. Have fun. Live your life.
If my boyfriend made a reel of my very hot friend's pictures, he would not be my boyfriend anymore
Thanks man…i just think the people in my life matter you know…i just want to get down to the move on or work on it vibe if not the block and move on vibe and im in the middle because i dont know
This is too much to ask of someone you've only been in relationship with for 6 months. She's a big girl she can go to the wedding alone and if she can't you really don't need that kind of person in your life. You've planned this vacation for some time now. She needs to grow up and if not you definitely need to move on quickly
One thing Oprah’s show taught me years ago.. Never EVER put all your money in one account with someone. You are so young too. I’ve been with my husband since I was 17, 32 now, and I’ve always had my own account. We have one shared account for our mortgage and both our own. Please don’t be stupid, get your own account asap