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Ask your lawyer about pursuing criminal charges along these lines, abuse of a disabled adult and disability check theft is not taken lightly (in my country)
That is fine but my problem is, we’ll prob have kids right after we move in together (my clock is ticking) and I feel like if he’s unsure about these things then shouldn’t I be wary of having kids with him? Ultimately the kids would be my responsibility if the relationship falls apart so I feel like I too have to look out for myself.
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At this point it just sounds like friendship but with extra baggage. It's sad that he's suffered loss, but if years tick by and someone isn't showing any real desire to work on their issues then there's only so much you can do, only so many times you can have the same conversations.
You guys got together when you were a teenager, it's probably hot to imagine life without him since you haven't experienced any of your adult life independently from him, but idk. If you guys met each other today for the first time and he said, oh BTW, we aren't gonna have sex until someday I magically feel like it, its gonna be a dead bedroom because I have mental blocks, would you be interested in dating him?
Yes it is all about you because you were talking about how YOU feel, not how he feels. He’s more than welcome to his feelings, just as you are to yours. But seriously, just block him, he’s trying to shame and bully you for your feelings and force you into doing what he wants rather than respect how you feel. This guy sounds like a walking red flag.
This is why some women stress affirmative consent so much. A lot of women have probably felt the way you do about this encounter about many of their own sexual encounters. So people on the one side have to make sure the other person is enthusiastic and interested and the other side of the coin people need to feel more comfortable and confident in advocating for their needs whether that means they do or do not want to engage in sexual activity. It sounds like you let yourself be a passenger here and feel icky because you weren't interested but didn't do anything to stop it. So you feel violated but it's not really any one person's sole fault. I would suggest maybe you meet people in person first and not invite strangers directly to your house. Maybe nothing ever goes wrong, but I don't find it to be a safe practice.
Ask your lawyer about pursuing criminal charges along these lines, abuse of a disabled adult and disability check theft is not taken lightly (in my country)
That is fine but my problem is, we’ll prob have kids right after we move in together (my clock is ticking) and I feel like if he’s unsure about these things then shouldn’t I be wary of having kids with him? Ultimately the kids would be my responsibility if the relationship falls apart so I feel like I too have to look out for myself.
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At this point it just sounds like friendship but with extra baggage. It's sad that he's suffered loss, but if years tick by and someone isn't showing any real desire to work on their issues then there's only so much you can do, only so many times you can have the same conversations.
You guys got together when you were a teenager, it's probably hot to imagine life without him since you haven't experienced any of your adult life independently from him, but idk. If you guys met each other today for the first time and he said, oh BTW, we aren't gonna have sex until someday I magically feel like it, its gonna be a dead bedroom because I have mental blocks, would you be interested in dating him?
Yes it is all about you because you were talking about how YOU feel, not how he feels. He’s more than welcome to his feelings, just as you are to yours. But seriously, just block him, he’s trying to shame and bully you for your feelings and force you into doing what he wants rather than respect how you feel. This guy sounds like a walking red flag.
This is why some women stress affirmative consent so much. A lot of women have probably felt the way you do about this encounter about many of their own sexual encounters. So people on the one side have to make sure the other person is enthusiastic and interested and the other side of the coin people need to feel more comfortable and confident in advocating for their needs whether that means they do or do not want to engage in sexual activity. It sounds like you let yourself be a passenger here and feel icky because you weren't interested but didn't do anything to stop it. So you feel violated but it's not really any one person's sole fault. I would suggest maybe you meet people in person first and not invite strangers directly to your house. Maybe nothing ever goes wrong, but I don't find it to be a safe practice.
he keeps showing interest, pushing further.
What exactly does that mean?