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Date: November 5, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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I'm not in his mind, I can't answer and won't guess she he likes your friend but checks you out a lot.
TELL HER FAMILY!!! You will somehow be made the bad guy if she’s caught and you didn’t tell someone.
This world does not need your ever lasting foot print. Please, don’t ever have kids
Maybe you should go like two weeks solo hiking trip and evaluate again after that. Is solitude what you want for the long run or is it something you need right now?
To me your behaviour is the red flag tbh. Why is it so important for you that he is posting something about you?
Just dump them both. It doesn't sound like you're in a good spot to date if you chose to date someone you know you aren't compatible with and then cheat on them in as little as 6 months.
If you want to have a relationship with your current boyfriend, you need to tell him the truth. He should be able to decide whether or not he wants to keep seeing someone who cheats.
As for person B, just say that you cheated, it was wrong, and it's not going to happen again.
Staying at his house when she isn’t there is a little weird, but probably just a cultural difference.
Referring to him as a “potential father in law” when you’ve been dating her for less than a year seems like you’re coming on a bit strong.
Ugh what a gross comment.
The relationships that can recovery after infidelity (very very few) are more often than not long term marriages and with kids and entrenched assets. These things tie the people deeply together. She is just your girlfriend and she doesn’t love you enough not to cheat. I understand you would of chosen her in every lifetime however she couldn’t even choose you in this one. Make the nude decision and walk away.
QUESTION! Have you met any of his family, friends, work colleagues?
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They can be entertaining but the comments are off the rails. People get super worked up about these fictional strangers lives.
Alcohol doesn't excuse cheating. A drunk mind speaks a sober heart. Your wife is a cheater in her heart.
She needs consequences for her actions, for everyone's sake in this situation: You, her, and your children.
If you forgive her and stay with her, it's going to tell her that what she did is forgivable and permissible. She's apologetic and acting like the perfect wife right now because she's scared that her actions might have consequences. Once she feels comfortable that you're not going to leave her, she's going to go straight back to this type of behavior.
You're most likely going to build up a lot of resentment, jealousy, self-hate, and you're always going to be on edge wonder when the next time she's going to cheat will be. Please trust me, she will cheat again. It's only a matter of time. Save yourself the heartache, and have enough respect for yourself to not tolerate being treated this way.
Arguably most importantly, think about your kids. What do you want to teach them? Is it okay for their future spouse to cheat on them? Is it okay for them to be with a parter who doesn't respect them or care about their feelings? Is it okay for your kids to sacrifice their happiness over fear of breaking up a home? Your kids are not going to be happy or healthy growing up in a household where their mother cheats on their father. You have to choose the lesser of two evils here and opt for 2 happy-ish households. You have to be a role model to your kids, because they're going to eventually learn about this situation. Teach them that they should respect themselves and not tolerate abusive behavior in their lives.
This is just my opinion. I'm sure you already know in your heart what you're going to do. I wish you the best of luck through this difficult time OP.
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Thing is though is that he’s used these dating apps before, so he had them before we even started dating. It’s how he got with his last ex. So ngl I’m not entirely surprised that he forgot about them being a thing, but also still suuuuper not trusting him because he told me he used Tinder when he was swiping while we were in a rough patch.
I just showed him the Hinge account and photo he forgot about. So he was using at least 2 of them. Definitely still nasty.
Don’t let other peoples actions or inactions determines where you take your life. She stopped sharing locations (not sure why she was sharing them in the first place) with you. You’re not getting a mature response.
He’s going to build a great business to be dismantled by sexual abuse allegations.
Reading the edit I see why. As an adult male I have had many gorgeous female friends that I would never have considered sleeping with because they didn’t meet my emotional needs or relationship needs etc. I don’t have sex with women I’m not interested in having a relationship with. Sure I have missed out on amazing sex but I’ve also avoided a lot of heartache and drama. If you are not mature enough to see that men don’t need to sleep with you because they don’t find you emotionally available than you are not ready for a committed relationship.
It’s pretty shitty not to invite the spouses to the coed bachelor part weekend.
What I don't like about this is how my boyfriend pats her on her shoulder. It's more like how guys pat each other but I still don't like it.
this doesn't sound healthy. at all
Why not? They're graduating med school.
Anyone who gives me flowers, I'll tell them I'd rather have equal pay. It's a day to campaign for women's rights, not a Valentines day part 2 focussing only on the woman.
Sorry, yea this all makes sense and I’m sorry if I seem like an asshole. Thanks for your input by the way. I just actually thought that he wanted to be friends because after the breakup, he would tell me so, he would insist to hangout, to never lose contact. We even just remained as fwb for a while. Out of nowhere it stopped and so I guess made up this idea that it was just his “ego”, sorry for the misunderstanding. We went no contact for so long I suddenly noticed he still watched my stories, he would follow me then block me, unblock then follow. I guess I took that as a sign that he still wanted something to do with me. I would reach out because of that. Again, he suddenly stopped and yes I do admit it drove me a bit crazy. I couldn’t understand what he wanted but yea, you’re right I projected it onto him. I’m truly sorry for any inconveniences I caused him.
Early (year give or take) in my current relationship I was re-ended while driving his new truck. I called, explained what happens and how I dealt with insurance etc. During the convo he interrupted a couple times asking about the truck and damage etc. it was all minor and I was fine but I pointedly cut him off and said “IM FINE BTW”. To this day he checks on me when he hears anything that could result in an accident. Bang a plate? “Everything ok?” Knock over shampoo bottle in the shower “are you ok?” It’s somewhere between annoying AF but endearing as all hell. Long story to say, maybe he made a mistake but he can change.
You guys aren't friends. You are associates because your families are acquainted with each other. It's her wedding, and she gets to choose who is invited and who isn't. It's nice of you to invite her and her family but she doesn't need to do the same thing for you.
You mean your ex-fiance, I hope. To even be there waiting for this fucking clown when he gets back would be a mistake. I'd fire off one last text of “Hope it was worth it.” ( If even that, and just to fuck his day up, if he did care at all) and immediately start wiping all traces of him away. Chisel his name right off the walls, Ancient Egypt-level. Send no further replies, answer no calls… Let him shout into the void.
Raise your hand if you read more than half-way through before realizing she wasn’t talking ablut actual corn. (Raises hand)
Yea no. To give someone grace and forgiveness purely because they are your parents or family is archaic thinking. He was an awful parent and husband but she should give him a chance because she may have life regrets? Has he ever voiced regrets about how he was to her and her siblings? Probably not. He’s lucky she even humors his conversations. Me and my brother cut off my dad years ago and our life has been significantly better with our hearing about how sad and lonely his life is, with out even acknowledging the trauma and abuse he subjected us and our mother too. Some people deserve to die alone.
Because he's trying to get your attention. Just block him
I don't think she'd really do it, but I feel hurt that she spoke about this as a reasonable scenario.
I guess the truth hurts
I ain't saying she's a gold digger…
Isn’t it possible that she may be entering menopause? Hormonal changes could be responsible for a decreased interest.
Ugh. He didn't “shatter her confidence,” he shattered her confidence in him.
i know, i should probably break up. But i don’t really know how to do it because when i first tried, she begged me to stay and i fucking let it happen. and now she spends all her time with me and i don’t know how to because she doesn’t want it in person
You madam are a Dundee cake!!!
Okay I’ll look into it, thank you!
Thank you for this. I do understand this. It really is so immature I just don’t know what to do. Surely this will fade soon and just improve. He’s actually so Perfect to me I can’t even begin to explain how much he sacrifices for me. Thank you though sir. Have a good day
Be mindful of your own mental health. It's very common for childhood traumas, especially abuse or neglect, to come back up for us when we have kids, especially when our kids are the age we were when the abuse/neglect occurred. It seems to make us realize how little and vulnerable we were and just how messed up it was that adults could abuse or fail to protect us.
He is an absolute leech. He is with you for the lifestyle. It makes me sick that he uses your money to go to the casino 5 times a week and to Vegas. He is definitely cheating with the neighbor and likely others. He is scum. He is worthless. I’m surprised he hadn’t baby trapped you yet. Lose this guy and be free. I had a partner like this who wouldn’t work and lived off me. He suddenly wanted to be a professional poker player. Best thing I did was kick him out. Freedom was a ton a fun for a few years. Now I’m in bed with my now partner and our baby and I am amazed at how great of a man he is.
Do you also feel guilty because you cheat?
Why would he want another girl just like you, he has you. No girl similar to you is going to compare so he wants something different, that’s perfectly normal.
You could be like hey man. I appreciate how kind, gentle and sensitive you are. But I don't mind being manhandled every now and then either homey.
EXACTLY!
I couldn't believe she actually told him she was unhappy and would leave if things didn't change and he can't be bothered to do like 5% of the household work just to ensure the marriage doesn't blowup.
She NEEDS to leave at this point. This man does not give a damn about OP and how she feels. And, like you said, he definitely needs to finally suffer some consequences. And he's certainly going to get exactly what he deserves when she finally leaves and he's forced to start doing things on his own.