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Date: January 3, 2023
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Yeah the font was tiny and the side she was showing me wasn’t didnt have the description lol i was trying to see if it was and i was missing it. And yeah she has unreasonable outburts sometimes and it makes me wanna make more posts on here lol
I don't disagree with that. I suppose that's the bit that has made everyone assume he's catfishing through a dating site.
I can't tell you if female only subscription websites exist out there. But hypothetically if they do, and he's used a female driven website to access porn (and only porn without commenting or talking to anyone) but lied about his gender to do it, it isn't as serious as messaging/catfishing innocent people looking to date, is more my point.
OP needs to decide if she's comfortable with just porn through a female only site or not if that's the case. For example is it an immediate ender. For me, i would want some information before making my mind up. No-ones perfect, is the flaw malicious or stupid. My logic would be it's the internet, they put meaningless restriction lots of websites(over 18/21 best example gender restrictionsin this case). I think if my OH was watching just videos, and not engaging in anyway I doubt I'd see it as any different from porn hub. I think I'd find it a bit immature and I'd want to see the site myself to ensure there isn't anything nefarious going on but just videos wouldn't be an ender for me.
And don't mistake this for approval, I don't think I'd be happy about it the paying to subscribe to a female only website by pretending to be female, I would want to talk it out, find out why, find out what the site contains, why is it women only, ask about if he thought it was wrong to go on a women's only site as a man, challenge him on his thoughts around it.
I just don't think OP has included enough information about what exactly he is accessing to be able to make a single line thread of advice.
I pointed out the worst memories in this post for context. All poor judgment on my part was very early in our relationship or not even dating that's been carried through our relationship. We've had years of my prioritizing her, working well with her, and were both very in love. These 2 problems were over 2 months dating. The original standing in a wedding was 3 years in and 2 years ago now.
I'm sorry if I have a high moral value of being in a wedding. It means a lot to me. I tried to show these things aren't our relationship but the prioritizing others over her is the main thing she sees as well when really it's less about them and more about my own value.
It’s okay to cry. You don’t have to put a protective front just be real with her and if she’s the person for you she’ll love and embrace that. You are supposed to be able to lean on your person whether you’re a man or a woman.
You can control these things you just aren't at the moment.
You need HIM to reject her directly, with you there.
She clearly knows about and is attacking your relationship.
I would tell him he needs to do this anytime someone tries this kind of shit or he's not a respectful partner to you.
“People develop crushes all the time.” And they either keep it to themselves and behave or they get shut down.
Don't let him allow her to cross boundaries without consequences, it's just a setup for your relationship to fail, which is what she's hoping for.
To be honest, if someone declares their love for my partner, I 100% would never allow them alone time with my partner. Because that other person isn't trustworthy and will continue to cross lines.
If it were up to me I’d tell regardless of choice. But since she herself says he isn’t in a good state of mind right now, he shouldn’t be involved in the kids life.
But yes
LOL fuck off
I don't really value relationship advice from a place like Reddit
Not the best way p to motivate people to want to give good advice…
Bullshit, what would you know
It’s a valid question.
My mate used to act the same way before he came out.
You were just assaulted, the guards are with you right now…. while you are sitting in your car writing a novel on reddit?
Ok, dude…
I don't shave anything–legs, pits, pubes, etc. Been with my husband for 12 years, stop shaving entirely about 5 years ago because I just didn't want to do it anymore, and I realized that I never really wanted to do it, I just did it because I thought it was expected of me. Legs/pubes he doesn't care at all, he's not crazy about the pits though. Personally, I've never liked facial hair, but he doesn't shave super often, so I think it's a pretty fair trade off lol. We'll both occasionally trim up as a nice compromise/surprise for the other person. If you feel comfortable doing a little trim, maybe that would be a good solution here? If not, don't shave just because he prefers it. Lots of people have lots of different preferences, it's not your responsibility to meet all of them, and ultimately it's your body and your comfort is more important.
I don't know what failure of your reasoning skills occurred that led you to marry someone who refused to have sex with you, but I'm inclined to agree with your friends, especially since he's wanting a “friend” to move in. You're a beard. You married a super closeted gay man and you're his cover. Even if he isn't, is this really how you want live! the rest of your life?
In a dead bedroom with someone who blames you for it and won't even talk about it after 6 whole years. Not to mention I'd love to know what you're smoking that you're planning a SECOND wedding in this situation.
They know the gun is awful. What's also awful is that his gf rather be right then alive.
Sounds like nerves from being a virgin kept you from ejaculating, and now you're learning how long you actually last when stress is out of the equation. In any case, from what I remember from the girl's side of beginner sex, you lasting long has no bearing on her actual pleasure. In fact she's probably happy you're cumming faster, because long stretches of PIV without proper preparation is just painful.
Now let go of your ego and learn how to give her pleasure through clitoral stimulation.
OP, a friend wouldn’t exclude you based on body size. Like others have said, don’t help her with anything and if you feel like speaking to her about it then do it. I had a friend for 20 years and when it was my time to do a wedding celebration (just a weekend with friends, all paid) not like a “true wedding “ she said it would be complicated to come. I moved countries and made sure to be there for 2 bachelorette parties, the wedding and a baby shower and she couldn’t be bothered to travel 2h in our country for my wedding. She said it was for the baby but the baby would be 1 and she already is traveling the same amount of time and going to weddings while the baby is months old. She is showing you how much she values your friendship, time to listen and let it be over.
hey he thinks all asians are the same and he think porn is what women sound like IRL, he’s a boy
Your friend sounds like trash
Choose you. Please.
I am the one who proposed he get training. When he came back he was actually better behaved but neither my boyfriend or his kids have followed through on keeping up his training and he has quickly regressed. I’m all out of solutions at this point and hoping anyone else might have some.
I’m also not here to get walked on by his children and be disrespected. I always take a backseat approach and I’ve never raised my voice at either of them prior to this afternoon. I already pointed out that wasn’t the best approach but I was pissed off and scrubbing their dogs piss out of the carpet at the time. I made a mistake and I will apologize to her later but only for raising my voice. I was absolutely justified in calling out her disrespectful behavior and talking back to adults. I’ve been in their lives for 3 years now, I should not be expected to sit back and stay quiet.
I don't trust her either, and was hesitant to comment that because of, well, I'm sure you can gather why. She knows the dad doesn't like her, doesn't want them together, and that their father/son relationship has been strengthening lately. They went from a very tumultuous dynamic to now working on having a healthy dynamic as parent and kid. This is why I think she might take drastic actions, such as this, to put the seed of doubt into OP's head regarding how he moves forward with his father. She doesn't want them repairing their relationship, because she's thinking of how it will effect her instead of what is actually best for OP, which is obviously a healthy and happy father/son situation.
I agree with the last comment that having an open relationship is a horrible idea. I understand where you’re coming from but that is NOT a way to fix a relationship. The only way that works ( from my understanding) is when you enter into it with an already VERY healthy relationship that is looking for some way to spice things up. Your boyfriend needs serious counseling and you might want to postpone any wedding dates you’ve set. It’s a lot easier to leave a boyfriend than a husband. I don’t know what he’s going through cause I never stopped being sexually attracted to my wife through all three kids. She seemed to lose her sex drive but I didn’t. She also never returned to her old body but I never cared. It was her not her body that I loved. If anything I liked her new curvier body even better. Therapy is what you need before doing the Reddit thing and dumping him.
Yes I know how it can be!
If you're not absolutely done with this relationship, I'd say talk with her about her trauma, see if you can get to a solution, seek help from a therapist if needed, and then decide whether you could trust her 🙂
It should have happened IF he was aware of how he felt about this from the beginning. My advice is based on that assumption. I get that it's an assumption, but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to make that assumption given the context.
Why? Largely because of something you just pointed out; “it's one things to discuss kids before marriage.” Absolutely. Thing is, they didn't do that. So OP proposed to her partner not yet knowing if he wanted children or not. Of course she wouldn't ask a question specifically around how their children would be educated as literally no one would. But you'd have to believe that if a partner had this strong of an opinion on it, they'd bring it up when a discussion around children happens. That discussion never happened.
After that, I'm not sure why you're then trying to rationalize why it “maybe” never came up. “Maybe it's a sore subject.” Alright, maybe it is. But we're talking about your future here. Might she have thought he was crazy at the time? Probably. But so be it. If he avoided the topic in hopes of bringing it up when they're “in too deep,” that's someone who's quite a piece of shit.
Maybe he's avoided thinking about it until reality struck that his life may be changing? In this context, that would be him “waking up” when she proposed. We'd then be saying that the idea of marriage between them was a complete surprise. It definitely wasn't here. That would mean that he saw her as his future wife, knew how he felt about education, and chose not to bring it up.
We have been multiple night every week! Basically every day but Thursday together
So, it would only mean seeing each other more? All of your friends know that you’re dating, and you’re already not dating anyone else?
you never heard, trust but verify? just because you do trust someone doesn't mean you're correct to trust them. that's the point. also, what I meant by the getting married and having kids thing is presumably most people who get married think they'll stay together, yet half of marriages end in divorce. people clearly aren't good at this whole trusting only when appropriate thing.
How did you find it .?
Please actually talk to her before you do this, OP
“No it was a parking lot so anyone would think the next step is following them home. I definitely have not done that.”
It's right there ^^ also we are still talking about the same kind of clubs. I haven't gone to a night club in over 10 years especially since they all shut down.
You’ll need to think out your options, because it sounds like your bf is determined to take this position. You can move with him (I imagine that this employer could and probably has facilitated spousal moves in the past), you can try to make long distance work, or you can end your relationship. Are the first two options deal breakers for you?
You don't respect someone's privacy if you think you're entitled to it just because you're in a relationship. It's fine to ask to see their phone and it's fine if they show you. But going straight to break up because they say “no” is absurd and shows that you, and most people in the thread,, are the ones with trust issues.
What would she do if you kept your paycheck and gave her $36?
The 2 of you need therapy, and not thru the church!
You need to learn to talk to each other.
Yeah no problem I just see them justifying this shit. Birds of a feather!!