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hi everyone, im new here..
Date: October 15, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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this is your ex for a reason presumably
You're right. It won't last. He'll get bored of her eventually, too, and then go cheat again to find the next woman to go sneak off with. That's how men like him operate. Selfish fools with no moral values.
The funny thing is that these women know they're the side piece to begin with so they're already well aware that the guy is a cheater. Yet, they foolishly believe that it won't happen to them.. “he'll NEVER cheat on ME though”, but they always do get cheated on sooner or later. Ugh.
Takes for it to actually happen to them, too, before they realize their fuck up and hopefully they won't make that mistake again of being anyone's side piece/mistress and stealing someone else's man. The suck part is that the man usually just gets to skate off, fairly unscathed, in each instance. Smh.
Not here to provide relationship advice, so feel free to disregard this, but as someone who has had to go through two less than ideal separate cat-introductions with two different partners, I feel wholly obliged to share this with you:
first bad cat intro: With this partner at the time, we actually tried the separate door thing and stuck to the advice we read about. It was going really well between the two cats slowly getting used to each other. But we were too naive and optimistic. We decided they were good to fully start sharing space, so we preemptively let them out together in the whole apartment. There was periodic fighting which was manageable but my cat got so stressed she developed a urinary condition and started peeing blood. Spent tons of money on vet stuff but more importantly, my cat was in pain and I felt terrible.
Second cat intro, and current situation: Tried really nude to enforce the proper rules and system to intro my cat with my partner’s new cats after moving in with them. We tried but just didn’t do it right – it requires immense patience and discipline and we were burnt out from pandemic things and just didn’t have the capacity to do it properly, in hindsight. Anyway, we’re currently working with a cat behaviourist because my cat will not stop peeing on the bed and the couch. She’s seen the vet many times of course to rule out medical issues. But having to cover the bed and couch with plywood everytime they aren’t in use is fucking exhausting.
Fee free to tel your person about how many thousands of dollars I’ve spent on vet bills, behaviourists, pheromones, meds and supplements, and even had to toss a new $900 couch that the urine smell just would not come out of. Sounds like your dude isn’t considering the consequences to you and your relationship.
dealing with the repercussions of not introing cats properly has ironically meant that both my partner and I now need to exercise at least triple the amount of time plus mental and physical energy/patience/discipline to sort out the new issues. It’s constant and exhausting.
Sounds like if one of the cats starts exhibiting any behavioural issues, urinary or otherwise, your guy may not have what it takes to deal with those. That’s a real consideration. Take it as a red flag, too, that he doesn’t seem to want to empathize with you and how important it is to you. It’s one thing if he doesn’t understand it but another if he won’t try to either.
Best of luck to you and all the cats involved!
IMO, it depends. If My family doesn’t live near me and we are traveling to see them, there are costs associated with traveling to going to see the family. However, if they are local, which is sounds like they are since BF lives there, that’s the part I don’t totally understand. Obviously, OP understands there are costs associated with seeing family, as she’s giving her family money to host them. I’m not clear on what “hosting” entails here though. Maybe OP should ask BF to split those costs since he clearly understands that seeing family at the holidays requires a buy in cost.
I hear you, but if they don’t see you as an adult or their equal (meaning it sounds like that’s the feeling you get from their friendship)…I just wanted to mention that you are totally worthy of friendships with people who rightfully treat you as their equal
The first sign should have been the 2 days leisure with his work buddies at the end of the trip. He is a newlywed and programs vacations without his wife? I'm 18 years into my current relationship and can't stand to be away for my partner so all my work trips are just that work. If somebody would program leisure days at the end of the work trip and I couldn't get on another flight I would spend them on Skype.
Sounds like he needed a Snickers. If that's normal then yea, douche. If no, then I would assume he will apologize?
This is definitely one of the popular but..but I love him posts.
It’s wild
He said the dominatrix was a year before we met but all the others were messaging during the past six months
Well in that case I'm going to be very blunt with you.
You want to keep on trying because you're insecure and don't place much value on your self worth. You see your GF as the prize cs recognizing that most likely you're the prize.
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I don’t know if you’re trolling or not… did you have a head transplant?
Reading this especially getting near the end it's painfully obvious the relationship is done. I'm not sure what advice you need, sounds like you know what you gotta do. Take the job, let her know asap so she can start preparing to move out unless you feel she'll freak. Otherwise you already know what's going to happen not sure what advice you're here for.
Why didn’t you invite her to Punch Bowl? Because that was your first mistake.
First of all, this isn't a choice you made, and you have no control over it. Therefore, you should not feel any guilt about it.
And on a similar note, if the two of you have really tried everything, and he's made a real effort in the departments of physical stimulation and mental game, then there's nothing for him to feel insecure about.
I assume you've spoken to your doctor about your libido while on the medication. There may be options available.
It sounds like it's not the porn specifically, but the kink in the porn that is doing it for you. Ideally, you could dispense with the porn by incorporating the kink into the sex with your partner. Unfortunately, your kink isn't for everyone. When you find yourself looking for your next partner, you should definitely take this into account.
I can only guess what “return to normal” means to you, but the answer is probably not. Your kinks are going to evolve some your whole life, but I'd be surprised if they became more vanilla.
With your current boyfriend, I think you're going to have to pick one of the compromises you've already identified.
You and your parents really need to back off, its absolutely none of your business and definitely none of your parents business whether he gets a degree or not. Some people would rather just work a job than have career aspirations, and that is fine. Its not your place to decide if thats “beneath him”. I get such snobbish vibes off this whole post honestly. If its not good enough for you, pack up and move on and let this poor man live his life.
Awesome!!!
Stop asking him about college for now, and when you are ready to have a serious conversation with your parents, politely ask them to please refrain from college questioning. I get that they either will respect your wishes or not, but doing this will be a big step to showing that you support your partner.
My analogies are horrible. This situation is your first choice in board game The Game of Life. College or jump into the workforce
Not everyone makes the same choices in life and maybe he is thinking about college, maybe he will never go back again
The job thing is awesome because college doesn't teach you to be a good employee. You might be his recruiter, meaning if you hear or find a job that he could do and it pays more or has better upward mobility, ask him to apply or try to move up in the company. There are companies that pay well and actually invest in their employees who show that they work nude and put in the time. This is what you did by getting him the job which is great.
You will also learn through life experience that some good jobs you only get by knowing someone even if you are the most qualified 4.0 student to have learned the subject
This might involve more thought on your part
Do you want to be with someone with a degree to make your parents happy? Are you ok with him only working this job for the rest of his life? If he doesn't have goals, is that a deal breaker for you? You can also communicate that you want to talk about goals and the very hot stuff. I think you should brainstorm with him to determine how often and for how long you have the tough/future goals convo for example we spend 10 minutes or 15 minutes and talk about concrete or big picture goals every 2 weeks.
Who cares. Be grateful he's dreaming up after himself and taking his trash out.
Talk to her like you would any other person because really, that’s what she is. If it leads to anything, great! If not – it’s good practice for dealing with your own anxiety.
There’s not a lot to lose talking to a relatively random person on SC, so don’t overthink it and just talk.
Yeah, sounds like you're not compatible. Having good chemistry and getting along doesn't make you compatible. You have different goals, different dreams, it would never work out. She shouldn't have to sacrifice something that means so much to her, and neither should you. Stuff like this can't be decided in a compromise, and it'll only lead to resentment if either of you cave.
This really sucks. Your wife sounds irrational and cruel. And unfortunately there may be no way for you to clear this woman's name and be believed, and not get accused of something shady too; your wife would need to be the one to publicly retract what she's said. It doesn't sound as though she's likely to do that.
I'd have trouble staying with someone acting this way too. The situation really seems to show some serious character flaws, truly major concerns in the areas of her judgement, her trustworthiness and honesty, and her capacity for cruelty. Maybe she'd be willing to take back her accusations if you tell her that what she's doing is making you question if you even want to stay with her, that you don't think you can be with someone who is so vindictive, and you need her to fix the damage she's caused.
I feel like there must be information missing here, that something else happened to make your wife flip out so nude towards this woman. You may not have been given the truth about your wife's reasons, like maybe she did something wrong that she wants nobody to know about. Or maybe your wife is having a mental crisis of some sort and could benefit from seeing a doctor.
You may be feeling insecure, but the way to ease your insecurities is to talk with your boyfriend about it, not demand to see his phone. That sends the message that you don’t trust him. Has he given you any reasons not to trust him, other than just having a female friend? If not, I’d do some work on yourself and give him the benefit of the doubt before going straight to “show me your phone”
You straight up tell her, “The stonewalling you have done since I told you about my past is really shitty. You begged me to confide in you and the minute I did you treated me like shit. You clearly can't handle a relationship. Get your shit and get out. It's over.”
It doesn’t matter what you think you deserve or not. You don’t go and take what you deserve. That’s what creeps do. If she doesn’t want to give you an answer, I’m sorry about that. Life’s unfair.
She’s only telling you because her affair partner’s wife found out. They had sex more than once. Look up trickle truthing. Look up Tracy Schorn’s Leave a Cheater Gain a Life.
Do the takeout and wine! She offered it so sounds like that’s what she wants
What did I say that was unhinged? That BPD can be so severe that it can warrant medically assisted suicide and to have some decorum when speaking with someone dealing with that. It's not unhinged just because you couldn't believe it. Interesting how your tune has completely flipped since I provided that information. And ew I hate kids ?? it's not middle aged mom behavior it's 26 year old who has a semblance of a heart seeing the hurt your comments could cause to someone already hurting enough. You just want me to be out of line so you can convince yourself you're right
She's playing a game. She wants obsessed guys who text her constantly and ignore her when she tells them that she doesnt want to have contact with them. I think this is more about the attention and less about any attraction she might have for you. Avoid her. Dating is nude enough without playing games.
Thanks for the perspective. Their band isn’t that big yet but I already know how groupies can be. Any other advice with dating people in bands?
Its okay to vent, you treat her well, care for her, even lend her your car only for her to use it to cheat you, its for sure something traumatic, but as soon as you come to terms with it, the batter, and can i be honest? I would do a DNA test on your daughter and test for STD, shes proved she cant be trusted.
And you need to confront her not to try to amend things and sort everything out, but because you have to see things related to your daughter and see if she at least had the decency to let your daughter somewhere safe.
That was two years ago and you were on and off…on and off…it doesn't seem like it was a healthy relationship. I agree with your friends…let sleeping dogs lie. Concentrate on the now and move on.
That's not the kind of touching I was talking about. I was not trying to be explicit because I didn't want my comment removed by the mods.
This! And celebrate with your friends and fellow grads!!!
RUNAWAY. RUN FAR FAR AWAY. This man of 40 is a manipulative manchild. If you’ve already suspected lies 2 months in it’s never gonna get any better. Using the kids against you? Who cares. They aren’t your children. They already have a mother. Most people with children that get into relationships need to make absolute certainty as this man has said, introducing to people that will stick around. Here’s the catch though, for normal parents it usually takes anywhere from 6 months to 2 years before you actually meet said children. 2 months isn’t enough time by any normal parent’s standards. Either way you’re young. Don’t waste your time with this guy.
I think open communication is the best foundation of a relationship, so if I were in your shoes, I might at least suggest he mentions it in therapy.
It’s possible that because the relationship with you has more potential to be really impactful to him, it might be triggering his avoidant tendencies in a more powerful way than in his previous relationships. Attachment theory is pretty variable and dynamics change from relationship to relationship.
But yeah! Id say it’s worth at least suggesting that he brings it up in therapy.
This….is literally an admission girl what more are you wanting?
This….is literally an admission girl what more are you wanting?
Neuro-divergence is not an excuse to be a rude asshole to people, especially not to people you’re in a relationship with. He just doesn’t want to be kind.
Honestly, what are you getting out of this relationship other than insulted?
What are these ‘shitty things’ that you did? That matters a lot. Some things are just deal breakers and even if you love someone you don’t let them treat you horribly.
It’s not a good sign that you aren’t respecting her wishes for space and that you are trying to win her back by buying her stuff (aka love bombing). Are you actually working on improving yourself and becoming a better person?
Then do what needs to be done and find professional help.
He can't help you fully with this and if you continue doing this kind of stuff, hell grow more and more frustrated and in the end he will probably leave.. As the problem is not being fixed and you're not putting in actual effort.
I don't mean to be rude, but your anxiety is not his problem.
She cheated. Full stop. She betrayed you and misused your trust. I’m betting Amanda has been waiting a long time to make her move on your wife. So the question is, are you willing to try to forgive her and stay together or are you wanting to leave her because you no longer trust her? Are you willing to share your wife and embark on a polygamous marriage? If you’re only way forward with this marriage is monogamy, then she would need to completely cut Amanda off.
Go out and get a hummer from some other girl and just tell her you were just curious. See how that flies. Trust is a delicate thing. Difficult to repair.
Think what you want but as a woman I think I have a better idea. She’s upset her boyfriend is broken which is why she’s asking Reddit what’s wrong with him
If he's really into that scene, he will find monogamous sex boring. I'm not saying YOU'RE boring, he's going to get bored with any monogamous sex. I'd move on and look for a man that doesn't need multiple people in bed at once to feel content.
She used to hit me in the face, but now she only hits my ribs. Does that sound better to you?
Honey, this is abuse. It will not get better.
How much do you need to endure to prove your love? When will it end?
Why is this as good as it gets for you? Who hurt you so badly that you don't believe you deserve better?
Her liking it doesn’t make his dick less broke and flaccid
Yea but the difference is, when you were deployed she didn't have to sit there and wonder if you were breaking up with her. She might not have been able to see you but she knew you were still together. You have no idea if you are together or broke up, you don't know if she is seeing someone else or not, you don't know anything. So yea there is a difference.
Updateme!