Exactly It's a huge social norm where I'm from too.
Also people who are like that outside (successful, charming, etc) can be total hell to be with behind closed doors. I've been with guys like that. It's not something I want to repeat looking for the one who isn't a mess and drinks all day and night.
So yeah I have standards, just because I can understand it doesn't mean I want to live with it.
There’s no way that you guys need to get married or stay together. You don’t even like your girlfriend let alone love her. If you were going to break up with her, then break up with her, you aren’t doing the kid or the girlfriend any favors by staying in a relationship with someone you actively dislike. She may dislike you as well.
When the baby comes, it’s going to be exponentially harder for the two of you to get along. I don’t think this relationship where there is no respect or affection is going to survive having a baby together. Separate now, and figure out a legal solution for custody and child support.
And your wife is paying a lot of attention to how you're handling this.
Honestly, if I was her and saw you defending the cheater like this, I would really consider cutting my losses. She's 34. She doesn't have time to waste on someone that doesn't 100% keep cheaters out of their life. Better to cut you out of her life now to find someone else that has morals.
You realize you're nuking your marriage right now to defend a cheater, right?
Why did they break up? If it’s because he said he’d never commit, didn’t want mariage and kids etc, her reaction is understandable. It can feel like a massive rejection, that you just weren’t good enough and cause emotional distress. This doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him or wants to go back to him. It’s just a huge slap in the face or hit to the ego. Why wasn’t she good enough to marry?
Do yoh love yourself? Treat yourself accordingly. Its very important that you stand up for yourself and have an actual stance when this happens because right now you are desperately looking for the help of other to deal with this situation. Your family cant look in your head. All they notice is what she is saying and you not complaining about it. Of course they have no reason to think anything is wrong.
I was stupid and naive. Refused to see the signs. My family told me they don’t think it’s going to be a good relationship because of things she would say and bring up. Looking back now, the signs were there.
We talked about it before. I’m in the works of trying to get a second job. He said he would help me if I was ever struggling. I just hate asking. Food is the only thing I’m okay with because he has the appetite of a beast lol, but I cook and clean in return.
If a man got angry at me for wanting to use birth control and trying to manipulate me by saying you dont trust my pull out game I would dump him
If a friend of mine told me the same story about a guy she was dating I would advice her the same
So Im gonna advice you the same thing… DUMP her … its absurd for anyone to get angry at safe sex practices, you have the right to control your own fertility and the fact of the matter is, her method is wildly unsafe
I wouldnt trust her anywhere near my stash of condoms, i wouldnt trust her to actually do the best job she can of tracking her fertility after she got angry
I don’t recall sexting qualifies as “catching up”. Sounds like your still in a love triangle and she has no intention of changing that dynamic. At this point you need to make a decision for what’s best for you. Because all her decisions are most certainly about what’s best for her.
Hi! Thanks so much for this comment/advice, it’s extremely helpful. I completely agree that this relationship won’t work out in the long term so I will end it now.
i’m going to be blunt and you’re probably not going to like it but it needs to be said, she’s using you, she knows how much you love and care about her and she’s manipulating that so she can do whatever she wants. she doesn’t care about your feelings or have any actual remorse for what she’s done and you need to make moves to distance yourself from the toxic situation she’s put you in. when people actually care they don’t constantly disrespect their partners.
Oh okay, thanks for sharing. Ugh I don’t know what to say besides I feel for you and I hope you find peace. ?
Exactly It's a huge social norm where I'm from too.
Also people who are like that outside (successful, charming, etc) can be total hell to be with behind closed doors. I've been with guys like that. It's not something I want to repeat looking for the one who isn't a mess and drinks all day and night.
So yeah I have standards, just because I can understand it doesn't mean I want to live with it.
There’s no way that you guys need to get married or stay together. You don’t even like your girlfriend let alone love her. If you were going to break up with her, then break up with her, you aren’t doing the kid or the girlfriend any favors by staying in a relationship with someone you actively dislike. She may dislike you as well.
When the baby comes, it’s going to be exponentially harder for the two of you to get along. I don’t think this relationship where there is no respect or affection is going to survive having a baby together. Separate now, and figure out a legal solution for custody and child support.
Wifeable material?
Does that include the multiple break ups and emotional manipulation?
My guy. Go meet some new girls
And your wife is paying a lot of attention to how you're handling this.
Honestly, if I was her and saw you defending the cheater like this, I would really consider cutting my losses. She's 34. She doesn't have time to waste on someone that doesn't 100% keep cheaters out of their life. Better to cut you out of her life now to find someone else that has morals.
You realize you're nuking your marriage right now to defend a cheater, right?
He sounds awful. Run. Hugs!
Why did they break up? If it’s because he said he’d never commit, didn’t want mariage and kids etc, her reaction is understandable. It can feel like a massive rejection, that you just weren’t good enough and cause emotional distress. This doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him or wants to go back to him. It’s just a huge slap in the face or hit to the ego. Why wasn’t she good enough to marry?
Do yoh love yourself? Treat yourself accordingly. Its very important that you stand up for yourself and have an actual stance when this happens because right now you are desperately looking for the help of other to deal with this situation. Your family cant look in your head. All they notice is what she is saying and you not complaining about it. Of course they have no reason to think anything is wrong.
Do something!
I was stupid and naive. Refused to see the signs. My family told me they don’t think it’s going to be a good relationship because of things she would say and bring up. Looking back now, the signs were there.
We talked about it before. I’m in the works of trying to get a second job. He said he would help me if I was ever struggling. I just hate asking. Food is the only thing I’m okay with because he has the appetite of a beast lol, but I cook and clean in return.
If a man got angry at me for wanting to use birth control and trying to manipulate me by saying you dont trust my pull out game I would dump him
If a friend of mine told me the same story about a guy she was dating I would advice her the same
So Im gonna advice you the same thing… DUMP her … its absurd for anyone to get angry at safe sex practices, you have the right to control your own fertility and the fact of the matter is, her method is wildly unsafe
I wouldnt trust her anywhere near my stash of condoms, i wouldnt trust her to actually do the best job she can of tracking her fertility after she got angry
My trust would be annihilated
He mentioned investments in the post
I don’t recall sexting qualifies as “catching up”. Sounds like your still in a love triangle and she has no intention of changing that dynamic. At this point you need to make a decision for what’s best for you. Because all her decisions are most certainly about what’s best for her.
Hi! Thanks so much for this comment/advice, it’s extremely helpful. I completely agree that this relationship won’t work out in the long term so I will end it now.
i’m going to be blunt and you’re probably not going to like it but it needs to be said, she’s using you, she knows how much you love and care about her and she’s manipulating that so she can do whatever she wants. she doesn’t care about your feelings or have any actual remorse for what she’s done and you need to make moves to distance yourself from the toxic situation she’s put you in. when people actually care they don’t constantly disrespect their partners.
i’m sorry OP ?