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MimmiMinni Public Chat Channel
Date: October 25, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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My primary concern isn't really hurting his feelings because I'm dating other people. I'm worried that the action itself of sharing that I'm in a new relationship seems like it's disguised as well-intentioned but instead comes off as something I say to try and incite a reaction from him and as such is malicious or manipulative.
That said, I really don't think he has any lingering feelings for me – we broke up a while ago and gave ourselves quite a bit of space and distance before we got in touch again. I think in my mind, talking about your current love life with exes seems like a no-go no matter how long apart you've been, but I do see your point. I'll talk to him and if I sense any weirdness, then I'll cut off contact.
Happy cake day!
Seems like it. But you dont invite your fwb over the holidays with family. Benefit of the doubt here.
I totally agree that these acts should only be performed when both people are into it. And she should be respectful of his wishes.
That said, it’s absolutely mind boggling to me how paranoid he is about this. I’ve NEVER been in a sexual relationship with someone that didn’t sometimes involve one waking up the other with sexual acts. Every single one.
You know what happens when the other person isn’t interested? They slap your hand away or say they’re tired. Done
Waking up someone you’re in a healthy sexual relationship with by cunnilingus is NOT any type of assault. ESPECIALLY when they’re begging for it. If it happens to be the wrong time, they’ll tell you to stop and then you stop.
Just like husbands and wives can go home after getting drunk and fuck each others brains out, something that is morally not great with a new person can be absolutely great with a committed partner.
Dont have to bring up your resentment from the way you decribe him sorry but hes a AH ya shoukd of just completely ended it after the funeral stuff honestly get out of there and find someone actually worth your time. Everything i read he done around shays funeral makes me sick no one shuld be that way, “over small stuff” was that stuff small to you? So sorry for your loss of your rock.
An unofficial promotion to me means that your boy was told that he can have the job but they own him until it is made official. He's probably trying to just not make any mistakes while doing extra work to get that job. I'm assuming the silence from him ( I'm a guy too) is more because your questioning his commitment right when he's doing just that, just not all on you and not all right now.
The question is are you comfortable enough in the relationship to trust him that you will be the priority when it is made official? Is that something he is willing to accept and does he think he will be able to say no to his bosses once it is made official?
No one on Reddit can answer those questions, only you and him
You might want to consider looking into couples therapy if that's an option in the cards for you two. It seems like there might be a little more to work with below the surface situation due to the lack of communication and lying on his part.
Maybe you need a new therapist, if in six years time this one hasn't managed to explain the most basic and commonly-known aspects of how abuse works to you.
Abusers always start out nice, how would they find anyone to be in a relationship with otherwise?
“How can I tell my new BF that I'm a golddigger?”
What do you bring to the table, boo? Or do you think your stellar personality is worth it?
Cut him off.
cut him off bruh
Not necessarily, if you and your boyfriend envision a future together, skipping directly to the trials of living together with the two of you is a good idea. It’ll help you guys grow, learn about each other’s needs a little more, and kinda get a grasp of what marriage would be like. It’s practice
like idrk hwo to word it
Now she went from 110lbs to 155lbs (5'3″) I'm not attracted to her, sex drive is gone and feel trapped
For someone as health conscious as you claim to be, you don't seem to care about her actual health at all.
Right! But so many women in the comment section were agreeing!! I was like is it normal??
And it also sounds like she is a side piece. Or he isn’t exclusive with anyone at all.
I agree with you that you should move out.
May not be what you want to hear but, I think it should be said.
He doesn't sound like a keeper. Honestly I would recommend you take the vacation, go alone enjoy your hard earned time off.
Save yourself the heartache and run. Find yourself a partner who will be on the same page with you concerning marriage and children.
Remember your own self-worth.
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Agreed. It seems like she herself is filling a void and is lapping up all the attention knowing how you feel about her. She's stringing you along.
She is hurting her boyfriend, you, and herself in the whole process by playing games with y'all.
Does your girlfriend like Taylor Swift? She came out with a song that talks about keeping love alive by keeping it private and now a lot of people are taking their relationship off of social media. It's a trend on Tik Tok currently. Could be harmless like that but she should just tell you
Lots of advice talking about you being fat. It’s not about that here (losing weight would help your self-esteem and is ofc good for you), he has made you feel awful.
Tell him how you feel, but from an outsider perspective you sound incompatible anyway as you clearly have a higher libido. He sounds pretty horrid imo
No one deserves to feel this way. Hope you’re ok x
You are both in danger from both of them. Their household clearly used violence as a form of discipline, which, as the mountains of evidence and studies suggests, is extremely dangerous for multiple reasons for both you and your child.
Either if them hitting your child or yourself is not acceptable, normal or safe.
You should definitely contact the police, even just to notify them that it happened.
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She might know what you’re doing but isn’t ready for the moment yet for some reason. Also 14 months isn’t too soon. My husband proposed after 4 months and we’ve been married almost 14 years.
I am a doormat. I’m also trying to build a life for myself and rebuild relationships with my parents and I’m so close to graduating grad school. I hadn’t had any perspective on my family until I left for school. I online across the country.
When I came back, my parents did everything we had talked about and were so kind and attentive. Up until my sister wasn’t getting the attention yesterday lol. That’s abuse then. Idk. I will google what the consequences would be for her if I filed a report. I don’t see my situation getting any better by doing that.
I’m sure a lot of people relate and want to see her suffer but it would ruin my life if I went to the police. I understand the severity. I am trying to make amends with everybody, and I am moving out for good in 2 weeks. She could just as easily say I was being verbally abusive or something.
Are you guys actually out here having parent that stand up for you??? I got drunk by accident a few months ago and was apparently crying to my friend that no one stands up for me. Hit the nail on the head with the mommy/daddy issues. Is that actually a normal thing or did you say that to make a point lol?
It can happen. No doubt about that.
There is a difference between having conservative ideals and being an AH about it.
The issue isn't necessarily his views, but his lack of compassion or understanding.
Once someone falls into a radical camp, right or left, you turn into a maniac who can't shut up about who's “right” and whose “wrong.”
Oh for sure, he could have handled it better
Do you want a partner or a kid? He is the latter.
Could be that she approached them, and she thinks that doing so would be perceived as going behind her husband’s back, so she tweaked that part of the story?
Okay, and?
What does that have to do with anything? That doesn't change that a year is a long time frame to process something like having a child or that OP and his wife could have wanted a child before they actually started trying.
50/50 really…hopefully he is planning a surprise for you.
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I always wonder why so many dudes with girlfriends has no clue that their phone has a secured folder that is password protected and hidden, where they can stash all their porn.
Also, why do non of these dudes use incognito mode? I mean, the dude is 23, he should know this basic stuff lol
First comes first, I’d be on board with her getting an STD test and/or a Plan B.
If your girlfriend cheated on you it’s pretty good information to have if she’s potentially given you an STD. If the cheating is recent enough to also need a Plan B she likely won’t test positive for an STD for some time.
That being said if she did do this it’s also probably better that she doesn’t continue with a potential pregnancy, regardless of who’s baby it could turn out to be.
Have an honest discussion with her (at least on your part). It’s probable she isn’t going to be honest back. Bring up the points you made here and ask if what is going on. While she will probably lie to protect herself her reaction to the conversation will tell you more about what she is or isn’t saying.
If she cheated on you then you should get out of this relationship. If there is reason to believe she cheated on you (being cagey and hyper defensive when you ask her about these things) then I’d break up with her.
You’re never going to be able to believe her if she can’t come clean about whatever it is and you have to online in doubt for the rest of this relationship.
“says she doesn’t want to lose me.”
There's something she doesn't want to lose all right….. that something is your money. If she really loved you then she never would've lied to you or cheated and the fact she has repeatedly done both is proof she doesn't love you in the slightest.
Ignore the crocodile tears and dump her, you'll be much happier in the long run without someone like her ruining things for you.
It's not nessisarily going against what I believe, my girlfriend doesn't believe in it, it's moreso just putting on a show for the inlaws…
Although deep down I know it's gonna be a bigger commitment than that hmmm, thanks for your input
If your BF is scared of telling his parents about you now, then what makes you think that he can do so in the future without any repercussions? I think your BF is playing with you knowing very well that you will not be the in final picture.
He wants to go on these “fake dates” with his parents blessings and your approval. Having a cake and eating it too.
We’re both too smart
OP, stop. If you were smart, you wouldn't of let this happen. Quit padding yourself on the back and giving yourself excuses left and right when YOU wanted US to judge your situation, and we are telling YOU this is a bad move.
Honestly if this was in the US what your ex's family members did was cyberbullying and harassment. It's finally taken seriously in many parts of the US, and a federal crime. The FBI gets involved.
If it isn't taken seriously in your country, I highly recommend you try to change that because it is needed and you have a good story to tell.
Ew. You’re too old to be this stupid.
Apologize and then run the hell away. She seems to have some issues and if she has you jumping around like this before you are even in a relationship there is a whole lot of crazy you don't need to be a part of.
Tell him what happened. Say the police have some evidence left at the scene, although they haven't shared specifics with you, but they sound hopeful. Observe anything odd.
Otherwise, treat normally. And get a camera on the area.
I think living together is the drumroll to an engagement. It’s the final test. Are you compatible when living together, budgeting together, fighting and having to be in the same house.
I also object to living together if it is not explicitly stated that the aim is marriage/partnership. A lot of people move in together for fun, because it’s cheaper etc and get stuck like that. 10 years later it’s “why won’t they commit to Me” etc.
I’d say set a time limit – like 2 years. After 1 you will know if you can have a life in the central coast and if it’s not working you move closer as he said. Then you have a trial year of living where you want.
Having said all that at 24 and 23 I think it’s too young to be getting married and almost too young to be considering getting married in the immediate future.
The way you express that last line totally negates your first line. Disingenuous to say the least.
But it was okay for him to wait 3 days & give her the silent treatment? That's not also playing games?
I am currently sitting in this. I want to make sure I've given it all I have and I really don't want to have to end this. He is my best friend.
You are for sure overstepping the bounds of run-on sentences and punctuation….
But I digress….
This doesn't make sense if this is new behavior that just cropped up. Time to sit down and ask her what's going on. This isn't overstepping boundaries IMO. This is common curtesy to offer to help.
Ether dump her or lock your phone and demand to see hers she probably projecting.
You see? That’s I’m thinking. Its more like a transactional situation than “I care for you and I’ll do this for you because I don’t want you to walk or Uber because it’s dangerous”.
Don't kid yourself dude.
Sorry OP. Sounds like this is the end of your relationship. Your partner can’t give you what you want and they’ve told you this. It’s not right to expect it from them, nor to you to think you can carry on without it. It’s sucky for both of you I’m sure as they probably love you as much as well. But the best thing you can both do is face facts and start the process of finding your new lives. You can get couples therapy, it helps end relationships in the best ways as well as fixing them.
You don’t have to chip for sh** if you don’t want to. Next time you see your boss, express your sympathies and that’ll be that.
With that being said: did your boss reach out during your time of loss? Did you get PTO? Did they offer or give any kind of accommodation (i.e.: give you more PTO than you’re supposed to get per pay period, paid you regular pay even though you’re off, offer some sort of bereavement leave)? Did they even offer that generic “if there’s anything I can do for you” platitude? If they have, return the courtesy. If they didn’t you’re more obligated to anything.
You had to video call him with the outfit to get his approval of it. This is insane by my standard. How on earth can you mentally twist this in him NOT being controlling? He literally has control on what you wear. I mean, c'mon. Only you can decide if this is something you are willing to tolerate. I am of the opinion that I am a fully grown adult and not a toddler, therefore I can dress myself. I could walk around in an outrageous outfit and my boyfriend would probably say “are you not going to be cold my dear” out of true concern. his concern is my comfort. Just saying. If he notices other men looking he even tells me with a grin, to which I respond, ” well you have a hard girl my love” and usually his response is “Don't I know it “. This is also working in reverse if women check him out, since he is rather oblivious I have to tell him. I like making him feel good about himself, that he is attractive to other people as well. do I worry that he will leave me for something? No. What we have they can't touch. What is attractiveness even. Fleeting at the best of times and certainly of little importance when life gets tough, as it inevitably will. Your boyfriend is insecure and thinks he can keep you by guarding you. He feels threatened by other men that notice your beauty, because he thinks he will lose against them. This is a problem he needs to work on. You should not enable him by shaping yourself into the version he is comfortable with. He will get more and more controlling and your light gets dimmer and dimmer and your happiness smaller and smaller. I don't know, you can try to have a calm talk with him. About boundaries and independence and you being a human in your own right. He will need to trust that you are staying with him because you love him, not because he successfully has prevented any other man of wanting you or convincing you that you can't have anyone else them him anyway… If he continues he will get the opposite of what he wants and you will leave him in the end. One additional observation: these kind of controlling men always claim it is about “respect”. They don't know what this word actually means, they twist it to suit their selfish needs. For them, “respect” is doing what they want. Disrespectful is if you do something that they don't like. They expect obedience. You are not a dog. Keep that in mind.
It's fine!
He’s controlling you. If he won’t come with then you are fine to go alone with your friends.
In the end it’s not his decision what you do with your friends. It’s yours. If he can’t get over it then he absolutely doesn’t trust you and that’s reason enough to end things.
what is your definition of normal??
For whatever reason you are not fully a part of his life, but only one small section of it. I seriously doubt that talking with him is going to change anything at this point. Stop allowing yourself to be a secret or a second choice to whatever other plans he may have.
Absolutely not! She assaulted him! Being drunk is no excuse for her putting her hands on him! She should get help but OP should not get back together with his abuser.
Not an unreasonable thing to be uncomfortable with
OP thinks the wedding day will be the most challenging situation. Try the next 25 years.
Yeah wait til they have to set boundaries regarding grand kids.
Seriously, OP needs to enforce this boundary or the wedding is off.
So you don't trust your partner.
Again – this is too simplistic.
I trust my partner's conscius intentions and decisions. I don't trust their assessments of their capability to execute those intentions in different circumstances.
I don't trust my own assessments of my own capability to execute those decisions and intentions. That's why, when I'm on a diet, I literally do not buy tempting food and keep it in the fridge. Because I know, that I can't very strongly desire not to eat it, and yet I can still eat it.
That0s not a ''me issue''. That's human nature 101
Bruh…
What would be the goal of therapy? What issue are you trying to resolve?
Him not fucking his step sister anymore? Who he’s surely been having an affair with for a long time
So basically she turns 25 in like a week, and i justtt turned 33, so the age gap is a little less than it seems but.. yeah i dont think people realize statistics about cheaters is that women increase in cheating frequency as they get older
She's never asked him to destroy it. She asked him to remove it from his social media. Those are private memories. They don't need to be displayed on your wall.
Look i could've made a case for him jst being insecure until he started on the bullshit of u being emotionally stunted and wanting u to actually fucking cry and be upset because u “did something wrong”
Its honestly emotionally abusive and he wants u to feel guilty for not giving into his whims of how a woman should be acting according to him. It's childish and u don't need it.
Based on the list alone, it doesn’t feel worth it. He sounds like a misogynistic POS if I’m honest, but I also know that the breakdown of a marriage is difficult and sometimes people want to try. But know that life without a partner (I have no doubt you would find love again, I just mean for this decision) sounds better than life with your husband. We only have so much time on this earth – why spend it with someone who hurts you like this?
Nope. You have told him this makes you uncomfortable but he doesn’t value you enough to stop it. That’s the real issue. He knows it hurts you but he doesn’t care. So. Time to move on. Yes. There are many good men that don’t ignore their partners pain and that don’t need to leave sexual comments on other women’s social media. Again. Time to move on. You gave him the opportunity to stop this hurtful behavior and he didn’t. If you stay, you are saying it is acceptable. It’s not.
Exactly what I was afraid of :/
college in the US is absolutely fucked lmao. it's insane. at least if you don't play it right.
realistically, if you paid 250k for school it means you did something very very wrong (or u went to med school)
I would quietly divorce him and have children with someone else.
By “quietly” I mean, don't say you know what you know. Just go “this is not working for me” or “we've grown apart.”
If he won't go along with the divorce, offer to turn his laptop over to the police. He'll know what you mean.
Three months is long enough. You should dump that guy.
Whenever we visit my husband’s hometown, he would spot someone and say, “Oh yeah, I dated her for a week.” Truthfully, it never bothered me because meeting his friends, it seems like everyone in the same age range dated each other. He truthfully doesn’t remember them but he did have three serious relationships before me and even though they were over, I was super jealous of them because they meant so much to him. This was after we started dating. Now that we’ve been together for over twenty years and he hasn’t done anything with anyone else, I am glad he dated and had relationships before me since he has experience but still chooses me.