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Miss Smiley Svetlana (https://onlyfans.com/eatmypie69), 29 y.o.
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Date: October 10, 2022
You need to speak with her and maybe do some couples counseling. This is why you pay attention to red flags before you get kids and get married
Your friends are right. It's too rushed and very bad timing. Do not succumb to the ultimatum. Let her move on. You should focus on college. You have plenty of time to find someone better and marry them.
Wasn't no nonsense about it. She ain't dated since then and that says it all.
It ain't entirely true that I ain't interested but maybe ignoring it really is the best option because no doubt no good will come of this. Thanks.
There are two parents and someone has to hold the camera. Unless they let a revolving door amount of people access their baby it's totally normal not to have a ton of family photos yet.
They could ask family and friends to share nice pics they took with their phonses – but I honestly think that them not having a ton of pictures with all three of them in them at 5 months is normal?
I mean, I don't think there is a real issue here. If your friend is worried that his wife was alluding to something obscure he should ask her! It's a non-problem, op. (unless there are deeper issues at play here in their relationship or with the wife itself).
neither of them should.
I'll just say what no one else wants to admit. He didn't stand up for you because you probably caused the drama.
Read the 2nd sentence again. He's fine with getting married but thinks it's a waste of money.
Get this man out of your life and message the husband
Your brother needs to chill the fuck out. Your bf was literally expressing support for Jewish people.
Just living together or even having kids does not make you common law married, even if you live in a state that allows it.
Among other things, you both have to intend to be married and hold yourself out to others as married. None of which sounds like something OP's bf is interested in doing.
You’ll be continuously hurt more and more by this person, or the next person, or the next next person, unless you begin to read the signs right in front of you. I chose to ignore those things with multiple partners, it got worse every time in ways I didn’t think could happen.
I would've said the same thing three days ago, but fuck, I panicked.
Wait, is your wife a teacher or a SAHM? You're contradicting yourself now.
Wow, too many people in the comments do not realize this is OCD. OP, I’m in a relationship and I got over my retroactive jealousy about 2 years into it. I stopped bringing up my intrusive thoughts. I started looking at them as compulsions instead of being valid thoughts.
Honestly, if watching the show will put you through mental torture, don’t watch it. Make more progress with your retroactive jealousy before you do this. It will get easier, and when that time comes it will feel a lot more comfortable to watch the show 🙂 therapy definitely helps.
Maybe give her an ultimatum so she at least knows what’s happening. Tell her you love her but this is affecting you so much and if it keeps happening you’ll have to break up with her
You did the right thing. When she said she won’t see a therapist because “there is nothing wrong with her” is where I would draw the line. She doesn’t see the issue and has no interest in changing. You’re good.
Thats a shit husband, so my comment stands.
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First of all- good on you for acknowledging that this may not be the healthiest thing. It’s often the hardest part.
My advice would be to address the situation head on- apologise for the overreaction and explain where it came from. (Don’t make an excuse, just offer your side so he can we where you’re at)
Secondly, set scheduled time for you both to have alone time, not in the same house but completely apart from each other. At least once or twice a week. Nothing trumps this, no matter how much you feel you need to be around him.
Lastly, have a look at some therapy options for yourself and the two of you together. I know it’s an added expense but it’s so worthwhile. You’re showing a few behaviours that can be linked with codependency and nothing will change if you don’t do something to change it. Therapy is a safe place for you both to talk, and a safe place for you alone to work through the root of your need to have him around at all times.
Good luck, and just know that the effort is worth it.
Well are 4 years enough to be a doormat that is being cheated on, will be cheated on and probably has been cheated on in the past?
This guy's life is a circus right now and it's supremely shitty that he's trying to drag you into it. Go find someone that doesn't have a clingy baby mama hanging on for the next 18 years.
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What do you think pregnancy will do to her body? Like you think she’s going to bounce back in 48 hours? It can take months for a baby bump to go back it may never fully go away. If she has your kids and her teeth are ruined will you leave her? What about when her nose get wider? If you can’t commit to her now let this girl go ffs
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ehhhhh okaay
You also don’t need to interact with his mother if you don’t want to, you can set that boundary as well.
No where in this post has OP said he wants his wipe to do 100% childcare AND housework. Where are you getting this.
A man can’t just say he isn’t down to do 100% of the house work and pay for everything as well? Jesus Christ
Who told you it’s running away? Who told you that it’s right to stay and “fix” A man who is violent and a risk to you? You have the wrong idea and mentality behind your actions.
Trust me as someone who has as a child witnessed a person with violence issues it is not running away is removing yourself from a dangerous situation. You do not stay and wait for a person to fix themselves because when they are violent and aggressive they shouldn’t be in a relationship, they should be by themselves and sincerely committed to resolving their own underlying issues until they are healthy enough to have a relationship.
Your obligation is not to patiently support a dysfunctional person it is actually their obligation to themselves to resolve their problems, you cannot be more committed to someone self-improvement than they are. Staying is actually enabling them, because they do not have acceptable behavior inside a relationship but you have justified it to them and to yourself that you will stay, therefore it cannot be that bad and now apparently he is but getting progressively worse and expressing really disgusting ideologies which is kind of what A person is drawn to when they are fairly despicable. There has to be someone on this planet worse than him, that’s what he needs to hear because he doesn’t want to confront the realities of being a scumbag.
I get there are two sides, and you probably did overwhelm her. But the real problem here is that she never told you or gave you a legit chance to fix it. She just sat and stewed about it until it got so bad that she lashed out at you, expecting you to just know she was struggling. But that’s ridiculous, as you’re not a mind reader. Every person has a different limit on what overwhelms them, so her just expecting you to know that with out her telling you is shit.
Not that she’s a bad person, but her inability to address the problem with you in a healthy way, and act like it’s your fault when SHE didn’t communicate her needs, is a red flag. What else does she expect you to know that she’ll lash out at you and cut you off for? If you do repair the friendship keep this in mind, or else you’ll continue to take blame for issues that really are of her own making. And doing that can make depression worse for you. So do be careful.
Why is the word “pedophile” censored in the post title?
Just because she's been a long time friend does not mean you have to keep her as one now. People change and it's apparent she has chosen his friendship over yours. End the “friendship” & block her.
Never talked about $.
my comments have been about lack of effort. In the honeymoon stage.
Right? I work nights so can’t go out to dinner, after work I Got my gf some flowers, chocolates and Starbucks, the normal shit. I woke up to chocolate, a heart shaped pizza and a case of beer. I was pumped. I never knew people bought actual gifts for V-day, I don’t even consider it a real holiday lol.
Pretty cut and dry Pandoras box situation.
You do pretty much the only thing you can. Explain that you are uncomfortable with the proposed situation and won't put yourself through that. Explain that you fully understand the double standard that has been created by the first event. And apologize that you can't go through with it.
Obviously if you don't want to go through with a sexual situation, thats perfectly fine.
His reaction to this though may vary on how you guys have been talking. Just hope he understands your feelings and you do the same thing for him. Just stay honest.
How are you abandoning him when he's invited too?
He's got major issues, and is very controlling. It's not safe for you to not be working hun. You need your own life, and your own money. He either needs to get I to therapy asap, or you need to think about what kind of future you are going to have with a guy who tells you his family is more important than you, but he is more important than your family.
He is being really unfair, and really selfish. This is not what real love looks like. He should want you to be happy, and he should want to be there with you when your mum gets married. How on earth has he thrown a huge tantrum over this, and made it all about himself?? That's very toxic.
If he's not taking steps to actively work on his issues with a professional, then you need to get out. You deserve to be happy, and that's just not possible if he won't change.
Good luck
Um… I tell you why I would wait:
Same as he gaslighted the OP he gaslights the wife. So in the end for the wife it will just be OPs fault.
Yet: if he doesn't expect any backdraft anymore, he will.let his guard down and may be caught red handed again.
Also: he might know where she lives.
Making it blow up now may have undesirable effects.
While making it blow up later and anonymously so may make it difficult to trace, whivh side chick has set his hair on fire/ which exact sh… dropped from the fan.
Yta. You don't ask her to stop that.
S.A.T.s are coming up soon
Lack of sleep, physical activity and healthy eating can impact the body including the penis. Make sure you clean the head every time you shower. Gentle wet towel to wipe off the crap like under the head.
Take care of yourself and your body will return the favor
Idk. I'm kind of hoping that he'd eventually pick up social cues after a while of being in a relationship. He does say that he doesn't want to have another gf and he's improved a lot in terms of showing how he cares when he's around me. It's just the days we're apart is more than when we're together and when I try to close the gap, it feels like he doesn't want to meet me halfway.
It feels like falling into a routine like we're bf/gf Friday nights to Sunday evening and then just two people on earth the rest of the week.
He is playing control games. HE has no respect for the usual boundaries of privacy.
If you have a friend with transport try to enlist their help to get your stuff. I would not go alone to his apartment.
I'm not sure about asking him to bring things to work unless you think this can be done discreetly. It could be embarrassing for you. On the other hand maybe he has behaved like this with other co workers.
Do not have anything more to do with him other than professionally. He is bad news. Any trouble – speak to HR.
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit. This doesn’t sound like a good fit. And you sound like a catch given that you actually do your share.
we’ve been together for 10 months now and met in high school. our first 4 months was completely face to face but we decided to do long distance because i was going abroad for college.
seriously, so creepy
He is more attracted to you when you wear make-up, and he knows it would be very uncouth to admit it. So that's the reality of the situation that you're in. Can you make peace with that?
Would you be happy if the whole town knew about your ex (trash goes in dumpster, not back inside your house bro) and everyone did everything they could to cover it up? That's essentially what is happening here. 21M is an asshole but so are the rest of them. They are actively covering it up together.
Thank you for your edit. She deserved to know.
INFO: Have you tried family therapy?
I've never seen a step-parent become close to their step-kids by insisting they are called 'Dad' and kids give them the same love as they have for their Mum & Dad. Especially never works when the children have formative memories of life before the Step-parent. Most of the situations where the Step-parents are able to build their own special, loving relationship with their step kids its been because the stepkids were allowed to dictate how the relationship looks like. Over many years this developed, but still not something the same as Mum & Dad. Have
There was a study conducted where a group of men who were abusers (trying to reform themselves), answered a bunch of questions honestly. Most of them said they categorically will not start actively abusing their partners untill 6 years into the relationship. 6 YEARS!
She couldn't even be faithful to you 8n the 1st year of your marriage. And yes the past 3.5 years was a lie. You need to leave her before she wastes any more of your time. You can't trust her. She kept this from you and would have continued to keep it from you 8f you hadn't asked. OP letting her go follow her dreams was noble of you, and what did she do? She shat on it! You deserve better!
As per the sunk cost trust me it'll be much harder later and you will live miserably and resent her for the rest of your days. You'll be paranoid that she'll do it again. I know it's very hot but get a divorce and move on. Put your mind at ease after a while. DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH THIS WOMAN! She may sound remorseful but she kept this for years! So can you really believe her? Fake smile, fake laugh, fake orgasms for 3 years.
Thanks so much. He left today.
before she moves out PROTECT YOUR PARENTAL RIGHTS. You need to go to court and get your 50/50 split and all legal issues ironed out now. It’s not personal, it’s best for your kid to have it all set straight. You don’t want to be fighting her from the other end, depending on your state (maybe country not sure where you are) father’s can get shit on bad. They often do. Before some moms come at me, yes I know moms can get shit on as well but overwhelmingly it’s the dads who are denied access to their children.
Your boyfriend is an idiot
It was the having a boyfriend initially
Like why are these pathetic bitches okay with being the side piece. Like they think they’re better bc they get the man to cheat, but honey you’re in the background in secret and not good enough to come into the daylight ? pathetic insecure hoes
Thank you, I’ll word it like that.
Do you think it might not be her then?
You have no substantial evidence that it is her…
Think about what you just said:
I tried to make her jealous by having a friend reply something specific She didn't react in any way on her twitter
You did something to entice a reaction. Then you monitored her account to see the reaction.
In a way… you're feeding into this post-break nonsense as well.
You paying this close attention to it (monitoring your view count), is just going to keep you in this situation.
Let it all go and move on.
why are you so hostile lol? I'm open to advice and trying to look for a solution. You're acting like I'm some malicious cartoon villain who's ignorant of how they act.
you have a very mature mindset. Instead of being helpful or glad that people are aware of their issues and are seeking help, just yell and scream at them and to them vaguely to go to therapy.
by the same token, I think you need help with your anger issues. there, does that feel helpful to you?
I wanted a kid and it’s crazy hot. Sure they’re an awesome person but there were a lot of times in their younger years I was regretting my life’s choices ??? What I’m saying is your 70% no is a great reason not to have kids. I was 100% yes and didn’t sleep a night through until they were 8 years old.
I know you want advice from people that have had time apart to reflect if they want kids but you will be very hot pressed to find many. In reality he is giving you 3-6 months to figure out if you miss him enough to bend to his will of children (put bluntly) This is not the way.
I hope you grow independently and know you’re strong enough to find someone new.
Not sure if this is the case, but using a condom during your alone time makes for easier clean up
No matter what it is 100% disrespectful and she knows it. Just because you didn't walk in on them banging doesn't mean she did nothing wrong. I have a feeling if she has been hanging with this girl for a while, you are only scratching the surface.
This shit is scant on details in all the wrong places
No.
Do not do this.
If she hasn’t cheated physically, she will. She’s already doing it emotionally. He’s coming over to take your kid on a walk with your wife. He’s lying to you for her. He’s showing up all hours of the day and she TOLD you, it was because you’re a bad husband and never around. When you only work 10 hour days… my husband works 10 hour nights and even I don’t think he’s gone all the time. File for divorce, dna test your child, and get blood work done to check for stds. Good luck
“He said he couldn't explain why he did”
aka
“I am powerless to stop this from happening again”
People can’t date out of their leagues, because people date people period.
I mean she not right but neither wrong, is a problem to date someone that cannot think high of themselves. I understand why she is tired.
If he's not willing to accept that you're not ready for a huge financial tie that you don't really want without actual commitment, he's being selfish too.
Why isn't he interested in renting? Does he have the down-payment and can he pay the mortgage on his own? Can he also afford to pay for furniture, a car, tools and appliances, repairs? These are all things he needs to figure out, and it sounds like you're hesitating because he's just wanting to buy the house and then figure those things out later, and demanding you act like his savings account without haVing any opinions or preferences, which is a disaster waiting to happen.
I'd be supportive of him moving and buying but state I wasn't able to contribute to the down-payment or repairs, and if you do decide to move in at some point (like after you see that he's settled in and become a responsible self-supporting adult) figure out some sort of rent agreement.