Yeah, I think after marriage the calculation changes but before that you're not obligation to keep taking care of someone or be connected to them romantically if you're no longer feeling it. It doesn't matter if the reason they're no longer meeting your needs is their fault or not.
Now, you may love someone enough that it makes it worth it to stay with them through unenjoyable challenges, so I'm not advocating that people bail at the first sign of adversity, but I would hate so much finding out that my relationship was a net negative for my partner or was missing an essential component for romantic love and that he was staying with me out of guilt.
Not to mention that he was never active duty military so he probably doesn't have PTSD or anything. Sure, he could be depressed, but he could also just not care about certain things when he's not being forced to care about them. That's a legitimate position for him to take and also legitimate for her to not be attracted to, though if her issue is primarily the weight gain then that's a risk in nearly any case and I don't know how she's going to handle any long term relationship.
I have a job. I'm a full time nanny, I'm not clingy; I just enjoy spending quality time with my husband
Yeah, I think after marriage the calculation changes but before that you're not obligation to keep taking care of someone or be connected to them romantically if you're no longer feeling it. It doesn't matter if the reason they're no longer meeting your needs is their fault or not.
Now, you may love someone enough that it makes it worth it to stay with them through unenjoyable challenges, so I'm not advocating that people bail at the first sign of adversity, but I would hate so much finding out that my relationship was a net negative for my partner or was missing an essential component for romantic love and that he was staying with me out of guilt.
Not to mention that he was never active duty military so he probably doesn't have PTSD or anything. Sure, he could be depressed, but he could also just not care about certain things when he's not being forced to care about them. That's a legitimate position for him to take and also legitimate for her to not be attracted to, though if her issue is primarily the weight gain then that's a risk in nearly any case and I don't know how she's going to handle any long term relationship.