What Wife offered you wasn't much of an apology. I'm a Forgive Once person, but Wife has either forgiven herself, or doesn't think anyone needs to apologize except you. Let's try another tack.
There's an approach to reconciliation called Restorative Justice. The cheater gives up some of the privileges of trust, like privacy of devices and apps, for a set period of time. And they do acts of penance – the kind that require actual thought and effort. Not sex. And if bad behaviors other than cheating are part of the story, then the cheater has to work actively on those things, like offloading all the chores onto you. This is not an easy thing to agree on, so I suggest you use a counselor or mediator if you can afford it, and if not, I suggest you each negotiate by proxy – that is, each pick someone whose judgment you trust, and let the two of them work out a deal, so that you two can avoid nasty arguments.
Wife's reaction will tell whether your marriage is worth saving. Thus far she has been pretty cavalier about the whole thing, and if you give her a mulligan, I doubt that attitude will change. OTOH, with the R.J. approach she will have a naked decision to make – naked enough that she will have to seriously commit to and invest in the reconciliation, or walk away.
There are predators out there. You didn't do anything wrong. Being honest, acting with integrity, trusting people, these are not mistakes. It is like being robbed. Think about what advice you would give the victim of a crime. Should they never trust again, avoid all humans, wallow in despair? It is okay to be sad, disappointed, angry, confused. But you will need to eventually pick yourself up and move on. I would rather be an empathetic loving person than a deceitful liar. Your ex sucks. Leave his memory in the dust.
Are you really this dense? Did you manage to write this without reading it? You'll be lucky if you still have a wife in a year let alone more kids ever. Get your head out your ass man. Imagine 4 months ago you almost died from anything.. but for arguments sake lets say you almost died while a watermelon came out your urethra, how quick you signing up for that again?
You might find someone more suited to you. Love doesn't usually happen between people who have never met in person.
What Wife offered you wasn't much of an apology. I'm a Forgive Once person, but Wife has either forgiven herself, or doesn't think anyone needs to apologize except you. Let's try another tack.
There's an approach to reconciliation called Restorative Justice. The cheater gives up some of the privileges of trust, like privacy of devices and apps, for a set period of time. And they do acts of penance – the kind that require actual thought and effort. Not sex. And if bad behaviors other than cheating are part of the story, then the cheater has to work actively on those things, like offloading all the chores onto you. This is not an easy thing to agree on, so I suggest you use a counselor or mediator if you can afford it, and if not, I suggest you each negotiate by proxy – that is, each pick someone whose judgment you trust, and let the two of them work out a deal, so that you two can avoid nasty arguments.
Wife's reaction will tell whether your marriage is worth saving. Thus far she has been pretty cavalier about the whole thing, and if you give her a mulligan, I doubt that attitude will change. OTOH, with the R.J. approach she will have a naked decision to make – naked enough that she will have to seriously commit to and invest in the reconciliation, or walk away.
There are predators out there. You didn't do anything wrong. Being honest, acting with integrity, trusting people, these are not mistakes. It is like being robbed. Think about what advice you would give the victim of a crime. Should they never trust again, avoid all humans, wallow in despair? It is okay to be sad, disappointed, angry, confused. But you will need to eventually pick yourself up and move on. I would rather be an empathetic loving person than a deceitful liar. Your ex sucks. Leave his memory in the dust.
Are you really this dense? Did you manage to write this without reading it? You'll be lucky if you still have a wife in a year let alone more kids ever. Get your head out your ass man. Imagine 4 months ago you almost died from anything.. but for arguments sake lets say you almost died while a watermelon came out your urethra, how quick you signing up for that again?
I know. It just makes me sad. But I guess this is the final push to completely move on.