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Date: November 26, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Fired? Go to the cops and get a restraining order. Give him a fair warning once you do so he knows that his actions will have consequences. Never a good idea to ignore a stalker, this will only boost his confidence further!
Two months you will be posting that actually had second the two months you will be posting that the child might not be yours.
Brother you need to focus on your studies now your girlfriend is adding excess baggage on you.
Dude you saw the movie, scary shit
Do you ever wonder if she’s telling you these things to make you insecure and to make you feel bad about yourself? I would never tell my significant other that they “aren’t my type.” Who does that? She sounds like she is mean to you
Gf you can take to a restaurant, wife you can take to eat at your mum’s house.
What I got them for Christmas and anything that my friends/family tell me in confidence. Other than that, I'm open to anything with my partner.
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wow, it's written pretty clearly in there that we have spoken about this before. we have discussed this maybe 4-5 times, at length, and I have communicated very clearly how it makes me feel and how I don't feel comfortable having sex when I don't feel desired. I feel like it's pretty unfair to say it is withholding when I just don't want to have sex and have told him as much. I'm not punishing him, I want to be able to be vulnerable.
OP you cannot be this spineless. Cheated on in a short (8 month relationship) that's long distance with probably multiple people AND she lied to you. Come the fuck on.
See, this is the real issue, that you do want that constant check in and you’re masking it with saying you are worried. It’s not fair to set your partner up for failure if they do what you ask but you claim it “doesn’t count” if you had to communicate your needs. Expecting clairvoyance in relationships will always leave you resentful.
Speaking of communication, it seems you both aren’t great at it. You are both demanding to have things exactly your way without compromise. You want this end of night check in, he doesn’t want to feel like he’s having tabs kept on him. If you would just communicate that you feel love through words, and would like, at any point in the night, just some kind words, instead of demanding a specific time check in with the threat of a panic attack, then he might meet you half way after not feeling like he is being tracked. He also needs to understand that he has to bend a bit for others feelings in a relationship, and could do you a solid in just a gesture in the night that he is thinking of you.
I think this starts with you, because the way you have sold this is in a tracking manner, which he does not like and is clearly pushing against. Talk to him about what you really need.
It's not your fault. Your friend was vulnerable and grieving your BIL was creepy and predatory for going after someone nearly half his age. They're both in the wrong, but you're definitely not. Just be there for your sister and the kids when you can.
Do the math on their ages. She was 23 at BEST when they met. She has pretty reasonable insecurities
Get angry and the next time she brings it up in front of a group toss the ring on the table and say fine if you can’t fucking wait for a surprise then here ya go! Now can I enjoy my dinner?
I’m kidding DO NOT DO THIS
Just tell her it’s upsetting you and you’d like it to be a surprise
She hasn't worked out that you've been married for less time than she's been alive? While that's common, most kids would ask if they were an accident or why mommy and daddy waited to get married.
Do you celebrate anniversaries? Make some off hand remark about the first time you met dad x years ago. See what happens.
Why are you still there, they are a couple of using bums
It's not cultural, he gets away with what you let him, from the very first time he treated you like shit or insulted you, broke your boundaries, they're all red flags to be taken note of, but you didn't and he continued, then the brother can see he could do it too. They sound like a horrible family, why would you want anything to do with them.
You must leave for your own sake, he's never going to change, you know deep inside he won't. He's already shown you himself as a person, this is how he is
Do a plan, pack your stuff, if he starts with his shit, call the police and say he's stopping you from leaving
Then you need to sort out yourself, help with self esteem, so you never let another loser treat you like that again
You were appropriately harsh enough, this idiot literally sexually assaulted you. Disgusting little piss gremlin.
INFO: how long have you two been dating? In my opinion you both are way too young for couples counseling and it sounds like you both need your own individual counseling.
My partner and i both have adhd but in time sensitive and she and leads to us usually being late. BUT since expressing this to her, she now makes effort to create a schedule bc she knows it stresses me out. Adhd isn't an excuse to be complacent in the the things were bad at, it's a signifier of things to work on for the sake of our own productivity and those around us whom we care about.
You're too young to get married and it may very well be that you two are incompatible. With that being said, if you're serious about marriage then I would recommend individual therapy first and couples therapy second. Your partners anger is abusive. They need to work on this before you decide to be life partners.
It doesn’t really sound half and half, it sounds like 90/10 with the 90 being him being a previous cheater who has a very fatalistic view of all cheaters (and all women) except himself that he uses to control you when you’ve never cheated.
I don’t think it’s fair on the second point. Everyone’s going down hot on OP for dating a man when he was clear from the beginning, but the same is true for her boyfriend. He chose to date a girl with the dog. He doesn’t get to force her to give up her dog. She didn’t have to move in. She told him she wouldn’t move in if it meant giving up her dog. But clearly he wanted her to move in. No one forced him. If he didn’t want to on-line with a dog he shouldn’t have started a serious relationship with a person who already had a dog. It goes both ways
Dude dump her dumbass. You put your life at risk defending hers and your own. She’s says she’s not sure if she can see you again? Don’t see her again.
Yeah this was his fight or flight kicking in and he fought. It can be scary seeing what we have in us. I really hope it works out for OP though.
It’s a him problem. Let him solve it.
Let him experience consequences
i totally agree! i can tell he isn’t feeling well, he on the other hand just doesn’t like taking much about his feelings so i’m trying to find ways to help.
So while you are still in the thinking stage, other than brush it off as problems at work or school or family, not much.
When you have made the decision, then if you can’t do it face to face, as in a similar situation to yours, you tell them that you are not really okay, but you can’t talk now, and then you schedule a call/FaceTime etc for later (if you can’t meet later) Then you plan what you want to say, just as if you were face to face.
Not ideal, but better than stringing the other person along for days until you can meet.
Attend AA. Stop drinking. Stop with the weed. Contact social services about your kids. For now, they’re better off without you. Get rid of the dog, you can’t afford it. Get her father out of your house – if she has family, so does he, you’re in no shape to take care of him. Tell her to get sober or divorce her. Get a job, any job. Just make sure the boss isn’t an a-hole.
Respect maybe; love no
What.
That’s a fair response. Thanks. This whole thing is making me think of how I respond when she wants to do things. But I never put my foot down like it sounds. I support her goal overall.
I’m not going to read all of this, but yeah dump her, those were words of truth waiting aching to surface, bet she wasn’t even THAT drunk
That's why I am truly devasted. Not only about the fact about divorce, but how she presents it…
Annulment unfortunately is not an option. And we might need to wait another year to get fully divorced…
Another tidbit: your penis is not particularly as desired as you might think it is. Women usually seek some from of trust and understanding of those intimate subjects before even discussing it with others, so your penis was never gonna cut it. You know who else has one of those? Guys who approach women with consideration. What makes you stand out from those guys?
Wife’s an asshole. People don’t want to talk after getting home from work. There’s a period after I get home for like half an hour where I’m a little irritable but it subsided after a while.
You don't have to stay and that is totally okay. She has to face her demons on her own because literally she can't cause other people pain because of her bs behaviour. It is mot that she got assaulted and then turned to drinking she has the drinking problem that opens up all the dangers in the world. You can't stay in that toxic relationship. She has to own up and put the work with the professionals.
Some people just don’t feel the need to share their whole life on social media,is she just immature.
Play Shaggy's It wasn't me on loop, whenever he's around.
Honestly, though, if he's a narcissist or a compulsive liar, or both, or his lying is a psychological mechanism that's very deeply seated for him, chances are he's never going to tell you the truth.
How many times are you going to post this??
I have known since I was like 14 I didn't like kids. I'm 42 and ive never changed my mind. I love kids, its not a matter of disliking them. It's a bit dismissing to suggest most people change their mind. Too many people don't think it through enough, change their minds, and only figure out afterwards they hate parenthood. The kids suffer, the parents suffer.
I have a lot of friends who are child free by choice and are solidly committed to it. “OH, you'll change your mind one day” is just so condescending.
So as long as he tells you what you want to hear. You will stay.
You have no boundaries and he will continue to do whatever he wants.
You both don’t respect you and that’s really unfortunate.
This won’t go well for you.
Wait hang on can we address the “seeing pictures of my friends in the context of a threesome fantasy”?!?!??!!!
Watching porn during oral is one thing, tbh I've been tempted as I get distracted easily and can go sort of “numb” down there if my brain isn't being engaged by something too (though I would never dream of doing it without explicit discussion with my partner outside of a sexual moment first), but what the FUCK I would be so grossed out knowing my friends husband gets off to pictures of me imagining me in a threesome?!!!? That's gross and a massive violation
Time for a bidet.
The only thing you have control over is you. You can change your reaction or tell him that is he raises his voice that you will walk away. His behavior isn’t going to change. You’ll probably hear.. don’t you walk away from me. That’s when you remind him that you have told him that is exactly what you have said you’ll do. Anger is oftentimes sad turned inside out. He felt that he wasn’t needed so he lashed out. But. It’s not acceptable. Ever. Sit down during a quiet time and explain what you will do if he gets angry. Leaving the room is a good plan.
Time for a bidet.
Kids pick up on their parents emotions. If you’re miserable living where you do, she’s going to notice. Go do what’s best for you the both of you. It might be hard, but being upset or angry all the time will be even harder.
You got this OP. I believe in you
You tell her how god dammed beautiful you find her.
Because if you actually love her, she’s the most beautiful woman
I would say I am somewhat of a “people pleaser” The “funny girl who’s always sad” Don’t get me wrong I’m no saint either, but I do not like hurting feelings. I have done wrong by people in the past and I just can’t shake the feeling that all this just may be karma…
I feel like you're unnecessarily obsessing over this? You do you, if you like caring about his opinion, then that's OK. You don't have to take your MIL's opinion and adopt it as your own.
It's over. Cut your losses.
She just wants ze butter and ze money of ze butter
Ending a 5 year relationship over not getting cuddles after sex, just because you need to ask sounds insane to me.
If he does it with no issues, when she asks. It's probably just not something that comes up in his head. He could probably learn to do it with some incentive.
Agenda seems weird af but writing a letter might make sense
She sounds like a massively judgmental bitch bud, and trust me she will find new things to judge you for. It’s not your ex that’s the issue. It’s her personality.
Not brushing teeth would be a deal breaker for me