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Date: October 29, 2022
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Wow, I think people are being very harsh in the comments. While I think you handled the situation incorrectly, people are overlooking the fact that this is your first relationship. I don’t expect you to know how to handle scenarios you’ve not encountered before and especially with the way our society and it’s media warps the view of how relationships should be I’m not surprised you reacted in the wrong way. So here’s some advice, if she breaks up with you this is your lesson learned because most people’s first relationships won’t last due to the fact that you need to experience to become better at relationships. In the future, you have to understand that your partner is not a mind reader and completely shutting down and purposefully avoiding communication about your feelings in a situation is not okay. Blaming your partner for your lack of communication is not okay, but it is okay that you made these mistakes. What you need to do moving forward is not try to fix the situation, but rather have an honest conversation about WHY you reacted the way you did and how you plan to change that behavior in the future if you get the chance. To me this just boils down to immaturity and I think you can very easily curve this behavior with some self reflection and gaining a deeper perspective on how jealousy paired with lack of communication is basically a recipe for hurt feelings on both parties. I hope this is helpful and not quite as harsh
Yup, he doesn't actually care about her as a parson, just looking for the right combination of words to get her to sleep with him.
I can't see any part where you spend time any together on purpose in your post and comments.
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Get rid of the man and adopt another cat
Your post makes it sound like you've been here before with your husband promising to change his ways, but you don't owe your husband your allegiance the way you seem to think you do. Once he put his hands on you he violated your marriage vows. That's not to say, jump into bed with anyone else, but he sacrificed your marriage when he put his own selfishness and anger over your well being. You deserve to be happy and not be afraid all the time that he's going to turn back into that person. You're worth more than that and you don't owe him anything. He can't pay you back for what he stole from you the first time he hurt you, there's no amount of flowers and door holding, date nights and long walks on the beach, to give back what he took.
You need a fresh start. And if after that fresh start, you feel like you can start over with him, then go for it. Or if you feel that you can't go back into that relationship, that's your choice too. But either way, break the cycle.
Sorry my dear. I'm not perfect but I also didn't marry my sister's sloppy seconds.
Sometimes people think that something dramatic has to happen to end a relationship – a massive fight/cheating/violence – and don't realise that relationships can also just end because they're not working anymore.