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pussy playing girl , ♥ [41 tokens remaining]
Date: October 23, 2022
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Ah yes, the ol' classic Love Bombin. I've been there and it SUCKS. I'm so sorry for what you're feeling. My advice is to flush him from your system, no contact whatsoever. Go out and date and do the things that make you happy. What happened here has NOTHING to do with who you are or anything you could've done. In the long you'll be thankful that you only lost months and not years to a narcissist.
So she had an affair with a married man? Both are scum.
I don't want to break up though. I just want advice how to get him to understand.
Mate tell her you want to be exclusive and se what she says.
If she won't do that, tell her goodbye and move on for your own sake.
but for gods sake speak the words to her.
He says they don't mean anything, but surely they must mean something to him to be more important than your feelings.
Why are you prefacing his animal abuse with how wonderful he is? He isn’t wonderful, he is a monster. There is a reason the animals don’t like him, and it’s because he’s doing far worse behind your back. STOP ENABLING THE ANIMAL ABUSE AND DUMP HIM.
She was crystal clear. She is a career focused person and is planning to remain that way. She wants to be with someone who is excited for her and encourages her. She feels you are not doing that, and she doesn't want you to get your hopes up that she will change.
Reading your post, it sounds like you're getting your hopes up. If you want a relationship with someone who's focused on marriage and kids, it sounds like you need to get back on the market and find her, because this girl has told you she isn't that.
They are both awful. Ditch them both.
So he’s 12 years older than you, moved into your life and is now lying and controlling you like there’s no tomorrow. Kick him out, like yesterday. It’s your house right? Then end it before he actually convinces you that you’re crazy rather than dealing with an abusive pos. Also, I think you already know this, but he’s only calling you possessed because you have the gall to call him out. This man doesn’t love you. Find someone who does
Put it in an envelope on the outside of the package, with a little bow on the outside. ?
I definitely grew up in a very strick Christian household and I'm not sure if you still practice your faith or if you believe in God or the indoctrination of the church. So for this particular issue, I'm going to give you a different way of thinking about sex based off of the biblical principles: like many things, God designed sex, it was meant for pleasure to create a family but ultimately having sex with your husband is a spiritual act of worship and a covenant. Don't think of it as defilement but worship. Something that honors God in your union. Intimacy keeps you connected to your husband from the inside out, from the joining of bodily fluids, emotions and spiritual. This is why a marriage is consummate on a honeymoon (of sorts.) Historical, a person wasn't married using paper but by having sex. Don't forget, God says everything he made is good and honey, sex is good! You know an organism is good you just need to let go of your control and give your pleasure over to your husband. ?
Now, if mother dearest made the idea of sex so detestable to you that you don't want your husband to experience you on a spiritual level, she did you a disservice. OP, say this with me, “sex is good, sex is great, I'm going to allow my body to experience the pleasure of manifesting and releasing what my husband pushes and releases into me.” Keep repeating, while dancing nude and let go. Seriously, you're wound too tightly.
The next step is to go to therapy and not just any therapy but a sex therapist.
Lastly, do not introduce another woman into your relationship because the day you do that is the day your marriage is over.
Apologize to your husband for everything but give him the game plan. At least try to work on it.
Shit happens it's called life, and if the affair partner is guilty the “regular” partner is too. Nobody would cheat if they are happy with what they got (was partner who thought about it because one aspect was lacking and I didn't want to admit it).
I dated a guy who was simply severely OCD about personal hygiene on top of severely ADHD in general. He was literally never on time for anything, forgot to pick me up from work when he said he would, etc. It was shitty feeling back burnered all the time so I ended things. Do that.
Valuing money over her own safety and rights? Dipshit is right on brand with Republicans
Here is how you handled it break the fucking tie with him.
Oh, you're one of those people that thinks they need to explain things to others “here's the thing” lol and I love the “the end” there.
“Let me shut down any further discussion because I CAN”
Sounds like he was being pretty thoughtful on his gift choices. I think your issue was that you didn't get what you really wanted, and focused on what you didn't get, and not what he DID get you.
Do you think this is an okay way to ask : “Hey ! sorry this is kinda random but would you be down to go for a coffee or something some time :)) ? “ nice and casual and brief , sorry I’m probably overthinking lmao I just am so nervous Iv never asked anyone out before
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Before he just “leaves her” because she feels uncomfortable talking about her weight gain…..
How about he actually discusses how it’s affecting their relationship? How he sees a future with her but is worried about her long term health. And instead of trying to tell her what might work. He can say he will be supportive of what lifestyle changes she makes?
“Leave “ is always the nude button answer around here
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I will say this as someone who's seen it happen. He may be running a long con. All sweet and sunshine in the beginning until his real personality comes out. I'm not saying you should absolutely believe either side, but be mindful of questionable behavior when you see it. Your co-workers may be jealous because they felt used by him, jealous he wasn't interested in them or it could really be nothing. Time will tell. Be safe.
Especially at her age. I'm a few years younger than her and still can pass as in my early 20s, but even with a conventionally attractive appearance you're not going to be attracting the same kind of guys as an actual 23-year-old.
The only thing I can say which is the only way to help you once and for all is :”raise your awareness about your capabilities, you’re doing greater than many, many people. Many have lost their lives during the last few years, I know that you’re going through hardship but don’t let your self-esteem got hurted, you need to KNOW ( not just believe ) in your potentials and what you can do”
Lol this is going to end well smh
If I'm sending this again, ignore this, I replied on mobile, but I dont see it on my laptop.
That was nude to read. Is this taking into consideration her mental issues? With that in effect is it really that she's exploring other options? And there's no chance she was being truthful when saying that she wasn't ready for a new relationship from her past one?
And what exactly is meant when saying “the reconciliation could falter on how her lost evening went down?”
Your partner should always be supportive of you following your dreams. In the future, you’d run into this again with anything he doesn’t agree with. Don’t let him dictate your life. Don’t hold yourself back to make him, or anyone else, happy.
I mean this is in the kindest way, but I remember when I was 18 and figuring out college and relationships and new adulthood. It felt very overwhelming and like every choice would haunt me for the rest of my life. But I promise it’s not going to feel like that in a few years. You’ll thank yourself for choosing YOU.
Tell her that you do not have to forgive and forget her abusive tirades and that if she doesn't get help, you're not interested in a relationship with her of any sort. You're fed up.
Here’s another thing—would you cheat on her? (No). Would it be ok with her if you cheated on her (I’m sure it would not) sooooo why is it ok that she cheated on you? It is not acceptable behavior
IF you forgive her and try to continue and work thru this in your relationship, will you ever trust her again?
I tend to think people’s words (“I love you”) should match their actions. Someone who LOVES you isn’t going to be having sex with someone else
I agree with others here—it really sounds like she is very sorry that she got caught! If it was so intense and going on for awhile, that’s another really bad sign.
Also, you are both really young. You are not in long term marriage or have kids etc etc. there is nothing keeping you together and a whole world of other people to meet and fall in and out of love with. She is not the only one in the world. God closes one door and He opens another Altho you need to regroup and heal in between
Btw IF she broke up with the guy….which I doubt… that relationship won’t last either. If she cheated on you she likely will cheat on the next guy.
You deserve to be treated well and with love and respect. This isn’t the one
Hugs
You are an actual ungrateful git you know that OP?
You don’t believe in Muhammad, neither does she. So it absolutely is going against what you believe. Source- been there
Thanks . Unfortunately, not much I can do to project assess. She can take 50% anytime she wants.
I'm sorry… What?
Just wanna say that your first sentence was so funny to me, idk how to explain it but it made me laugh out loud. Yeah OP is very childish and incompetent, and it’s just really funny to me that she is doubling down in the comments when literally everyone is telling her the same thing, and then she wants to say that there’s “evidence to the contrary” of her incompetence. Man I just feel bad about her kids, I hope they get the therapy they need because this is going to be an absolute shit show for them on her part.
Definitely!!! She should be taking this for the red flag it is.
By all means, try to save this marriage if that is what you really want. But you need to prepare yourself that this may not be salvageable.
It sounds like he may be abusive, and now that he has you trapped, he can finally let his true self shine because he knows you won’t leave him. If you do confront him, try to have someone present because he could become violent. Unfortunately when abusers get called out, their behaviour can escalate dramatically. So keep an eye out for that.
I would suggest seeking help from a domestic violence organisation, just in case. They might be able to give you some good advice on how to safely navigate through this.
But make sure that you have people you can trust to lean on through this. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Give him the benefit of the doubt, but be prepared to end it if things don’t improve.
He is showing you what your future with him will look like. Lies, lost love, and betrayal.
So in short this man has: never taken into account your sexual needs, doesn’t clean up after himself, has had to lean on you financially AND he’s 13 years your senior. Girl, this man doesn’t give a shit about you. He shacked up with you because you’re young and will put up with his bullshit. You really want to spend the rest of your life playing bang-maid for a man who should be able to take care of himself? Leave him, it’s better to lose three years than to lose the rest of your life by marrying this man child
okay thanks also i private messaged you
No, this isn’t a fairytale you don’t know when it’s right and there’s no “meant to be” imo. There’s no magical feeling where one knows. You work for it to be right. I think doubt is normal, but when you feel that you have to decide for yourself if this is the relationship you want and if you want to work for it. It’s rather normal to question your future you should be. Is this what I want in life? What do I see my future looking like etc. those are normal questions to ask yourself so you need to answer those for yourself.
And he should have said, “Sorry, if this isn’t a job, I cannot go on a trip with you because I’m in a committed relationship. “But, he didn’t.
I don’t know it’s so annoying lol like shut up
Aiyah, I hate to say it, but better test the older kid too. And get your husband into therapy, poor guy needs it.
Oh you think? Lol
Maybe she's forgetting who she said it to…..
His parents can't force him to come back, really… he's 18. If he applies for student assistance then his parents don't have any real authority or financial leverage over him.
Maybe things are different in your part of the world but as far as I know, you can't apply for student assistance for the year, once the year has started. Those types of things usually have strict application periods and deadlines.
Also, with financial assistance, his parent's income may affect his ability to get it and getting a loan outside of the university assistance program would need a guarantor, and not many people outside of a person's parents would be willing to guarantee a 10s of thousands of dollar loan for an 18 year old.
Life isn't as simple as your 18 now, you can do whatever you want, A was essentially forced in a practical sense unless you're expecting an 18 year old to find a job that can sustain his needs (food, rent, toiletries etc.) and put himself through school (tuition, textbooks etc.) with like 5 minutes notices.
But all in all, if A really was a danger to others, the situation worked out for the best.
Walk away – you where probably his 154 th lover . I doubt he’s ever been faithful. Telling the wife – are you telling her through your own morals or through revenge? Remember, she’s hearing this for the first time and her world will fall apart . I for one , would walk away and let it be. Not your circus or monkey . It’s not about him ‘getting away with it ‘ it’s about you walking away and getting on with your life. He’s a cheater and a lier and his Mrs probably has an idea he’s not faithful.
I didn’t bleed either, it didn’t hurt as much as it was uncomfortable really. No one believed me either when I said I didn’t bleed or cry from pain. My hymen broke when I was 7 cause I was always riding bikes.
You're not to loose at all. I've had a 9lb 4oz baby come out of there, and my boyfriend says it's just normal, I don't do any pelvic floor exercises. Your boyfriend is just an arsehole with a limp dick
Bye
Just a another question. Do you think she should’ve mentioned her ex once we became official? Is that something I was never supposed to know?
This is normal. But so is more sex, and so is less sex. There’s a whole range of normal.
Some things to consider 1) is she on birth control? It can reduce sex drive 2) if she’s not on any birth control, she might have anxiety around getting pregnant and that might also reduce her sex drive 3) do you go down on her often? Do you do lots of foreplay to stimulate her first? Otherwise it might not be enjoyable for her in general and more of a chore tbh
since you’ve told him clearly that you don’t like it and he continues to do it, you do have to draw a firm line with him. don’t let him railroad you into accepting this treatment. being asked to be addressed respectfully is not a ridiculous request on your part – it’s base level respect that he absolutely needs to meet for you.
I moved out under the circumstances that my father was emotionally abusive. We have never had a strong relationship and he judges everything I do. I can almost guarantee that he will use the excuse that I am far too young for marriage and that I need to “get my life together first”. He gets overly upset about everything and that is what scares me.
Your wife honestly sounds exhausting to me. Idk why you’re in this relationship. Relationships with an anxious avoidant dynamic tend to make you feel really high highs and low lows. The drama of this dynamic is often misinterpreted as passion, when it’s really two people who suck at self regulating.
I get struggling to make friends. You shouldn’t have lied to her from the beginning because now this new dynamic with your friend has been soured and will always be. That’s how this dynamic plays out. I’m sure you love your wife very much but is it worth giving up other relationships? Platonic or otherwise? She sounds fairly controlling. Sharing location services with partners is a big red flag for my relationships.
My eye started to twitch when I read this.
You're 30 years old. You have your own home. Why in the world would you EVER consider moving into thIs icky home with him and his *MOM?” Throwing cantalop rinds into the front yard?? Yikes! Bedbugs are probably considered canapés at this place.
Do NOT let him put your name on the deed. Do not move into the “house next door” if he buys it. Do not become engaged to this guy.
Your BF is beyond eccentric. He's…I don't know, but just reading your post gave me the heebee jeebies. I got serious X-Files vibes, and the music from “Deliverance” is playing in my head.
My advice is to tell him he needs therapy to deal with his Mommy issues. Then go have a spa day for yourself.
Oooooookay
She doesn't want to commit while OP has made it clear that he does. Under these circumstances it's only logical that he ends the relationship and is free to date other people whose goals align better with his. Why would she make a fuss about it at all? She was the one who forced that situation.
Where TF you going to meet him for drinks?
An alley? Motel?
You're 19 hahaha
What a creep. IF he was single, maybe. Man, don't fuck this dudes family up unless it is telling his wife.
Imagine the pain his wife and kids will feel when they find out dads new chick is a 19 year old piano student.
This is exactly what I was thinking as well, OP. My mom had a similar experience with my bio dad. By all accounts and purposes their marriage seemed almost perfect. Everyone who knew them, extended family included, thought it was a picture perfect relationship. I was planned, and then he changed into something similar to your husband. He got jealous that my mom was having to give me the attention he wanted. It turned violent after a few months and my grandfather stepped in. My bio dad ran away and joined the military less than 9 months after I was born.
After that my mom was single until I was 9 and I then got the absolute best step dad who adopted me when I was 11. He’s never treated me any different than my younger siblings. My bio dad never made any effort, couldn’t even be bothered to reply to the action for adoption. Last I heard of him he was on wife number 4, her having the same first name as me, and she doesn’t even know I exist. I know for a fact that mine and my mother’s lives have been so much better without his immature ass in it.
I know the road ahead is nude, but your husband is now showing you his true colors, don’t be colorblind and don’t make excuses. Your safety, as well as that of your baby, could be in danger. She’s counting on you to protect her from all harm, including from her sperm donor.
Once COVID started going away and socializing came back into the picture….what's weird is that she didn't vocalize any of this before we got married, heck before COVID. And we had already known each other for two years, and had been dating for one.
Catching him in another lie won't make the first one go away.
Going out with her friends is different than staying out with friends when she went out with you.
Did you even read your own post or comprehend what you have written?
OP doesn’t want to die at the refined end of the mental health crisis in this country.
Seems like a solid plan to me!
I mean she literally just chose her friend that she cheated with over you. So you know where you stand on her priority list. Drunk or not cheating is cheating and she won't set boundaries even after she's the one who messed up. It's pretty clear the relationship isn't as important to her as it is to you so you have to consider whether there will be a future here.
You need to end it. Find someone you that will make you a priority.
she does come with a bit of a baggage
she had been with over 130 guys
Bro, there ain't that much baggage in Heathrow
Maybe try showing love by showing basic respect for what he wants. I’m betting that planning parties is about stroking your ego. You want a whole room of people saying “this is all thanks to OP.” Right now you are showing that that feeling matters more then your bfs wants. Get over yourself. Stop making his birthday about you.
She's so self-centered that she doesn't want to die. If she does go through with it, at least send flowers. No empathy for cheaters.
I think it’s acceptable in this situation
Judgemental much! You know nothing about OP's morals.
Move on! We all need someone we have to hold back, not push forward.
It sounds far too much like you groomed this teenager.
A dick appointment isn't the same as dating or seriously seeing someone.