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Lick finger [Multi Goal]
Date: October 10, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Perhaps this won’t resonate in this moment, but you need a different perspective: you have been SET FREE from someone that would do this to you.
You will go through a period of hurt and self-doubt, but eventually you will come to understand that you did not do the wrong here, and as such should not feel bad for it. You will be forever changed from this, yes, and in some ways that are sad and disappointing, yes… but hold your head up, sir, for today you get to start a new life without that awful person weighing you down.
If she so easily did that for revenge without proof and you don’t trust her (not really surprising), it’s time to move on. She’ll only do it again in future.
If he wants out why doesn't he just say it?
He has, multiple times. It is clear that he is done with this relationship, and every time he gets angry, he develops the courage to tell you that. It is clear he doesn't want to be in this relationship any more. He is going to continue making it hell for you until you finally listen to him, and leave. I am not even sure why you are still there.
I literally cant afford anything else. I make barely 1200$ per month. Like i said, i’m on medicaid right now getting therapy for free but its impossible to get more sessions. I’m trying everything i can to find a better job but two degrees from abroad makes me overqualified or seemingly to foreign (despite being a born and raised citizen) to hire even at a fkn gas station.
That’s not the way you do dates though,
Just taking them to places and doing the things that you want to do
Listen, shared expenses do not apply if one partner earns significantly more money. Let him know you weren't aware you would have to contribute any money, explain that you already covered the cost for both of you for visiting your sister, and politely but firmly let him know, that you cannot afford it, period. No “pay me back in January “. If you indeed decide to let him cover your share, explicitly state when you will pay him back, and that when should be a time of your own convenience, which would not force you to work yourself to death.
Unpopular opinion. But once you forgive someone for cheating, then you have to trust them, or what's the point of staying with them?
If it was me, I'd go. Assuming, like you, I wasn't ready to see the affair person, I'd let my wife go solo. If I can't do that, then I'm divorcing her bc obviously, I still don't trust her.
And thats the thing i dont have a crush either one but its like i am interested in the possibility of either onef them
She is right, you are wrong. Get that kid into therapy and start holding him accountable.
Judging by your response, you are part of the problem. Hitting your parents at 13 when you don’t get what you want is the sign of a mentally unwell child, and that behavior will absolutely follow into adulthood.
If I were your girlfriend, I’d take this as my red flag to exit the relationship.
When everyone that should be doing something fails it falls upon those that shouldn't be responsible.
At least she is trying to help.
Sounds like if your son was less of a shit they might get along. I'm sad that he is allowed to beat women… you should be too. That behavior needed to stop when he was a todler.
thank you so much ??❤️
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Lmfao minimum wage jobs literally make me want to kill myself. That's not hyperbole, I mean literally.
I’m not sure if you have any close friendships but friendships are relationships
If you want a solid friendship with someone and you know they will be hurt by sleeping with their ex don’t sleep with their ex?
You and OP are clearly not two people who would be as close as the person he’s talking about since this obviously wouldn’t be a big deal to you.
But to his friend of a over a decade, he should be well aware thats a fucked up thing to do.
At a minimum if his friend felt guilty and a second mutual friend thought OP should know then this is clearly a big deal to his social circle
For most people it would be, hence the downvotes
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There are reasons why people have no friends
End the friendship and sleep with one eye open. She doesn’t sound like a safe or stable person. I’m more worried she’s going to hurt you or Sue than herself.
i have a similar issue with my husband. i am used to very direct communication. while he is used to a style similar to your wife’s.
i only realized when he got annoyed because i dismissing his requests. i didn’t realized they are requests. for example, if he wanted sage instead of thyme, he would say: “don’t you think it would be better if you would use sage?” and i just simply didn’t think that so i didn’t make the substitution. also english is not my first language, so i didn’t pick up on his subtle english way of asking for things.
anyhow, we talked about it and nowadays he tries to be more direct, while i try to figure out if he is suggesting something or if he really wants that.
still annoys me sometimes, but i have my own annoying habits that he has to put up with.
Well a FWB can be someone that you feel safe with. I don't find this aspect to this story problematic. You can feel however you like about it.
Like I said she did lie when asked about there being anyone else, so you're totally fine to call the whole thing off. Take a week to get some distance from the relationship. Make a decision to either let it be in the past or end it.
Relationships don't work if you hold a grudge, so now it's on you to decide if you want to find forgiveness or end the relationship.
Eh, I'll give you the last two but asexual people do have sex? Asexual people can even enjoy sex.
This is a trauma bond. Your life will be so much better when you break it and cut him out of your life completely.
Yes the severity of it has been slowly sinking in, honestly i think i'm still kind of in a state of shock about it. It seems so far fetched that i actually could have, and maybe came close to dying that night by the hands of a person i knew for over 10 years..
Dirty deleted she owes her friends a total of 22,000.
Him and his sister are the same in the fact that they both make zero effort. Ts not that she doesn’t want a relationship, they’re just not close and I feel like they’re both just ok with it.
The extended family thing goes like this: his dads extended family lives near us, his moms is scattered all over the country. His dads family never liked his mom, so when the dad died, his family that lived close never bothered with him, his mom, and his sister. Like in July they failed to inform us his grandmother was in hospice until 2 hours before her death and my husband didn’t get to say goodbye.
He claims to be seeking a therapist to talk to on his own in addition to the couples counseling.
You’re 21, you have plenty of time to find a man who is both not abusive AND doesn’t like women’s photos on Facebook. But you already understand that you’re either going to have to get over it or break up with him. He’s told you he won’t change for you.
Sounds sketch to me… to me that sounds like a friend that feels like you're preventing him from maintaining friendships. Bad way to handle it obviously but from your boyfriends reaction he might agree with him somewhat.
You’re right he hasn’t betrayed me! But because of how intensely he seemed to love her it makes me doubt how much he loves me. He’s never expressed his love to me in that way. He’s kind to me and a perfect boyfriend in how he treats me but not that passionate and emotional. To me, he’s the one. I’ve never loved anybody as deeply as I love him. I just feel like I’m the only one feeling that way.
Dude really thought anyone would agree with him lmao grow up
Being stuck where you are will never allow you to find out. Being in a loveless relationship will only make you feel alone, even when they are there.
You deserve so much more. Your first step is to get yourself together. Make sure your finances and your personal well being is taken care of. Get yourself some therapy if you can arrange it.
There is no reason to limit your life. Be the person you know you are and start working to create a better life.
You're worth it
GF can’t accept I do extra work because it’s “unproductive”, she now needs time to rethink relationship.
It’s not. She’s insecure because she thinks you’re surrounded by beautiful and glamorous women in the industry and you’ll eventually leave her for an actress if you continue this gig.
This is the same girl who says I’m the best thing that ever happened to her, and says I’m like an angel to her
You are. That’s why she can’t bear the thought of you leaving her for some actress. In her mind, it’s probably a done deal.
Lol redditor makes post establishing good boundaries and gets downvoted for pointing out flaws in boyfriends attitude. Get downvoted. But youre right on all of these points. OP should tell him.
How extravagant are your dates? Also, it sounds like he’s saying/doing the minimum, or at least not to arouse suspicion, to keep you around for financial reasons. This includes love bombing, saying you’re good enough, etc. I could be wrong, but again, the optics aren’t great here.
Oh drop the metaphor, you sound like a complete moron.
Is there a specialist therapist nearby you or live! who you could discuss this with? It sounds as though you might benefit from discussing this with someone with some expertise in this area.
I think you may be an alcoholic. If you keep drinking things like this will continue to happen. Since you are not clear what happened, I am not sure either. But since you found yourself in this situation right before you got in a relationship with your boyfriend, and now it happened again there is a huge issue.
You will be of no use unless you stop drinking entirely, not a trustworthy partner or a grown adult who can function well. Most people never have this happen to them once let alone twice. Did the man perform sexual assualt? I don't know, he could have. You could have been drugged, or you could have just had too much to drink on an empty stomach. You showered so going to a hospital will probably do no good. Unless they can test for a date rape drug, which may be too late for that too.
Go get help, go to AA and you can get sober. As how to handle your boyfriend? I am not sure what to tell you….Since you do not know what happened to you.
She was basically telling you – I am flirting with him in front of you and you can not do anything about it. Sadly you internalised this rather serious slight and stopped trusting tour gf.
You have stopped trusting your gf – sadly – and now all of this works as a trigger. Think you might need to talk with a therapist. Your gf’s misunderstood joke killed you off. Hope you can learn to trust her again – but right now your mind has her firmly locked her as an untrustworthy person.
Yeah…ours are not like that.
My federal student loans are between 2%-5% I believe
She was his friend’s friend. She came with another friend that he doesn’t even know of. And she decided to hop on him because he told the entire room of our situation (me seeing other guys while in the talking stage) and she used that information against him
Good for you. That is YOUR trauma. I know people who have handles trauma very differently than you, and needed time to process. A wedding where you’re MOH can be too much while dealing with trauma, but a week later going to a bar with your sister could be just what you need to process. She even let OP know that she couldn’t attend and that it was trauma. Again, why be so close minded to other people’s trauma?
Lmao
This wont end well for you. Its one thing to keep in touch but it seems pretty persistent and youre only seeing what she allows you to see.
Maybe she's just depressed because she feels stuck in a relationship with you
Fucking leave it. This man is a creep.
You didn't over react at all. My bf's brother was killed on his motorcycle by a drunk driver who ran into him at a stop sign. He was 39. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose someone I love the way his family did.
Don't do it cheaters always cheat again .
Fair enough. I think the highest priority here is to get him to improve his behavior. You cannot, ever, work with someone who's emotionally and verbally abusive. I promise you, it has never worked, and it will never work.
Until he learns to never accost you verbally, or attack you emotionally, your flaws are immaterial. You have to talk to him about this. He has to promise to stop. And he has to follow through. Nothing that you do which upsets him matters if he continues to do this. Because nothing justifies his behavior, while yours, can be mitigated to some extent.
If his values truly mirrored yours, then I should hope that he has a value that says “don't malign, attack, and abuse your spouse”.
If and when he stops doing that.. you can ask him to support you, instead of maligning you. Support you to improve in this area. This may be ADHD related as some have suggested, and that's worth exploring. But generally speaking, therapy is a decent option too. Since you mentioned depression and anxiety.
But again, I must emphasize, nothing that I suggest matters until your husband makes a permanent change in how he treats you. Because if he doesn't.. you'll be making another post 5-10 years from now, complaining about your miserable and suffocating marriage, and how you're unhappy but feel stuck and can't leave.
You say that he has very high standards.. well, be kind to your future self, and raise your own standards for how your husband must treat you.
I would like to start dating in real life, but I've been putting it off because I thought I liked him
Mostly someone who is stimulating my brain and my body. We have good and bad days but it’s hard when days go by and I feel like all we’ve done is watch tv and worked. But as others have said it’s also on me to stimulate her so I am trying to keep that in mind and do my part.
“it’s just making me feel weird and gross – I’m uncomfortable with the fact that my partner can’t or won’t even try to feel strongly about this.”
You believe it is okay for him to tell his wife that she is so worthless he regrets saving her life over his unborn child? Noted.
He already feels guilty because his thoughts about her are beyond that of friendship. He is attracted to her. He wants to sleep with her. Because he met her under traumatic circumstances, the bond he feels for her is also emotional in nature. He attempted to gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault he cannot have female friends, even though you have multiple examples of female friendships he has.
This is a big problem.
If there genuinely wasn’t a problem and he had zero interest in her beside general niceties, and not attraction, he would not have even felt a need to mention it. She would have been just a blur in the sea of healthcare workers he interacted with over that two weeks.
Instead, he spent hours of time there. Not for his sister and niece, but for that nurse.
Summer 2024, so the most part of it is done. I think you're right – thanks so much for listening!