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suck fingers as ur cock [Multi Goal]
Date: October 15, 2022
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I think it is a little bit too early to buy him underwear tho. Buy him the sword
“correction” He says before not correcting anything lmao
Don't listen to that bullshit ” now you have to go through or he will see you as a doormat”. That's not true. Clearly, he's stressed beyond belief and doesn't know how to convey his frustaions properly. Therapy would be helpful. Well, I say that. I'm not saying become a servant of some sort to him. No no no. Remain calm amd collected and talk with him. This isn't the man you fell in love with. I mean if he acted like this from the start, then it's kind of you tbh. If you've seen him change from how he was to now, then yeah try to just talk to him yourself about what's going on with him. Ask him about his work and tell him how it makes you feel when he acts as he does. Listen to his concerns and if he becomes stuck at a point and can't give an example that's okay. Tell him you'll circle back to it is all. Become a pseudo-therapist for him. You're his partner after all. For better or worse, through sickness and health. He's sick and needs help. Some times just talking things out and getting a different point of view can helo someone notice their change in bahavior. Thats another thing, he may not really notice. Hence why he hasn't made the appointment. He may feel rhats hes the same as always and thus doesn't need therapy.
People change their minds and hearts. That's my reasoning behind saying fuck everyone else telling you to carry through with the ultimatum.
Thank you.. I feel like it’s my fault for asking ??♀️ and that I shouldn’t of said that I want to lose weight because I put the idea in his head. But I’m not going to make excuses for him. I know what I’m gonna do, thank you so much for your advice xx
I really believe it's the latter of your assumption, I really do. She does still care about him & love him. How can you not love somebody that you were with for 7 years? But you can simultaneously realize that you love somebody and they're not good for you or right for you.
I know she loves me and cares about me. It just feels inappropriate to keep tabs on him.
But thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.
Soooo just to be sure I understand, does this budget include a big percentage for savings etc ? Or is it you are just making ends meet. It matter because it was her 21st birthday and there is a difference between being genuinely unable to afford it (her friends etc) and chosing not to be able to afford it. If it's the latter this may give you some insight into where your relationship went wrong.
Now I know I’m not supposed to get upset
Question closed.
True
Ok – your opinion and research as to whether or not she should take them is mute. It’s her body, her choice. There is a reason she was prescribed them. However, that being said, it might not be the right fit in terms of what she prescribed. It’s not a one and done deal. Sometimes it can take a long time to figure out what works best for the individual. Her body is still adjusting so you will have to give it time but you can tell her that you don’t know if it’s the right fit.
But you’re not ignoring your daughther and she’s not in trouble. She’s under the care of her other parent. She has two of them. You probably signed up for educating your daughter but it seems like it’s your husband who has to learn. Put the phone on DND and enjoy the party. The more you’re available, the more he will use this awful, passive-aggressive tactic. If you stop responding, he’ll have to deal.
Yeah, because the worst that's likely to happen to her is a bit of shunning and shit-talking. Meanwhile she tells them where you live! and mysteriously you get beaten up or murdered. I suppose at least she'd get a lot of sympathy at work and some more stories to tell?
I have some trans friends and they tend to STFU unless it's actually relevant. I'm pretty sure I know other people who are trans but they haven't told me and I haven't asked. Just like my answer to “is so-and-so trans” is “if they are, and they want you to know, they will tell you”. It's *their* decision, not mine, and it's not my place to argue about that.
Anyone who disagrees with that is problematic in my view. It sounds as though you shouldn't trust her, and that sucks. Finding partners as someone who's trans is hot. But sticking with someone dodgy out of fear is not helping you.
(I grew up when homosexuality was illegal where I lived. My first sexual experiences were illegal and could have got me or my partners jailed or killed. I may be biased on the “don't tell other people's private info” side of things).
He says he wouldn't have a problem with a gay or transgender kid because he thinks it won't happen to him – and if it does, he can make sure it doesn't happen. That he can beat the “gay” out of the kid or make them manly or womanly by forcing them into the appropriate activities.
This sounds like a good way to get dumped.
You need to break up with your boyfriend. You're incompatible and wasting his and your time.
We’ve talked about it but living in the apartment is gonna be naked for it not to come up, and I KNOW they’re going to ask questions.
I have no problem straight up lying to them, but my folks will NOT be comfortable with that.
But if you’re not washing the hair then the whole point of it, the allergens/dust, isn’t solved cause hair is where most of that collects.
So surely that’s not gonna solve this guy’s problem either
No. It's who he is and he clearly doesn't seen anything wrong with it. What you can do, however, is distance yourself because he clearly fetishizes younger women and you don't have to be okay with that.
Sounds like she’s embarrassed by u on some level
haha okay i hope so
Yes to foreplay but no to kissing?
Please give yourself a break. This isn’t all your fault. You two are having REALLY normal new parent issues. They can totally be fixed if you’re both willing to put in the effort.
There are kind of two different things here that should probably get uncoupled: sex and intimacy. How often do you and your husband have intimacy without sex? Do you cuddle watching tv, have conversations that aren’t venting, have date nights together, give each other massages, just spend time enjoying each other’s company? I’m betting not. You should carve out time to do those things for yourselves and each other. Two things will happen: you’ll feel closer to each other without having more sex, but also you’ll most likely end up having more sex anyway. When you feel happy and loved and not starved for that connection, I bet you’ll feel a lot more in the mood a lot more often.
Also, what’s your husband doing to help you GET in the mood? Women tend to have more responsive desire than men do, which is why men are more often ready to go all the time and it can sometimes take women a while longer to get in the right headspace. You’re not responsible for getting in that headspace all on your own. Is your husband making sure the housework is done and the home is tidy to help remove distractions? Is he helping you manage your mother’s favoritism and supporting you with that? Is he helping you remove stress and obstacles from your day to help you relax or is he just adding more stress by constantly asking for sex? If he tried he could do a lot to help you want to have sex with him.
Look, you are in a really overwhelming phase of life right now and that’s not your fault. But you and your husband need to stick together and work as a team to become a more functional and happier family than you are right now. It’s troubling that your husband’s reaction to conflict is literally running away. It’s not only immature, it’s potentially dangerous. You guys are parents now; what if there was an emergency with one of your kids and he’s unreachable?
You both have some stuff to hash out and some promises to make to each other about how to love each other better, care for each other better, and fight with each other better and more productively. But if your husband would rather run away than put in the work to be a better partner to you, that’s not fixable.
Please don't have sex with dummies, lol
So is he abusing substances or are you?
The thing about feelings is that everyone has them and everyones entitled to their own feelings . What we're not entitled to is anyone actually caring about our feelings or someone putting their own feelings below or above someone else's.
I'm not really getting a full picture of the issue here, so i can't really give decent advice.
Basically though, he has every right to game for his own interest or stress relief as you do to have your feelings heard. You cant force him to talk. However you can end the relationship, if this isn't the type of person you want to be with
This would cause me to become violent. No way in hell. He needs to learn his place. And you need to boot him out.
She’s your sister tell your wife to stop feeling threatened by a blood relative.
if he’s trying to be a therapist then he literally has to have a PhD
She needs love and guidance and a therapist. Maybe she also needs to get away from everyone in her family and go to a group home for troubled youth, where qualified educators help her find the straight and narrow. A therapist would tell you that.
And a family therapist could help you as parents see how your own behaviour and reactions to the girl influence what’s happening, and could guide you to better parenting if there’s something you can do better (and there’s usually always something).
?
Sounds like maybe he got himself involved in some MRA or other frat cult bullshit live!.
You can fucking control yourself stop being a bitch and be faithful to your fiancé or break up with her.
Goddamn I hate people who make dumbass excuses to cheat.
That was a cold, heartless response from him. Find a guy who is less selfish and has more empathy. You deserve for your feelings to be cared about.
Run.
The sunk cost fallacy is real, but this is potentially the rest of your life you’re talking about.
Well, let's start with: “What do I do now?”
You take care of a child that is coming into this world, or, you and your gf talk to see if an abortion is a possibility if you both agree that having a child together isn't the best option for you both.
Then, there's this: “But two months is a bit early to propose.”
You don't have to propose. You both can decide to stay together without being married, at least, for a period of time until you deem marriage is appropriate and viable. As for the two months, it wasn't too early to get her pregnant, so, yeah.
As for: “What’s the best way to move forward with this?”
Obviously, you both need to decide what you are going to do with your coming child. Either she has it and you help take care of it with her, or, you both decide that an abortion is the better way to proceed. That is for you both to decide (best case scenario), or, her to decide if you two conflict on a decision (ie, her choice takes priority). Then, I'd suggest using birth control in the future if having kids together is something neither of you want.
Do it! I’ve just started going with my partner of 10 years. It’s not for the stereotypical reasons, it was mostly due to my mental health and insecurities around forming healthy relationships. It seems a bit similar to what you two would be going for. My partner and I have always been, I think, above average communicators, but went really learned so much about each other in counseling that I wish we had done this years ago. It’s so powerful to learn about what is truly going on inside your partner’s head and heart. There is stuff that my partner has learned about me that I didn’t even realize had been ‘hidden’ from him. Anyway, between your insecurities and the trauma she holds from her past abusive relationship and the strong healthy connection you originally built this relationship on, I can only imagine that your love and connection will only grow and grow with some professionally-facilitated communication. I wish you the best of luck!
When people are looking for reasons to be upset they can usually find them. Unfortunately far too many guys will try to get flirty even with their platonic female friends. Your girlfriend seems to have mastered the art of deflecting that, as most woman have to. What to do comes down to an explanation of “cheated on again”. If this exact girlfriend cheated on you in the past maybe you're justified a wee bit of worry. But if you're dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into this you need to step off before you ruin this.
He's pissed he can't ghost her.
He said I’m never there to help him through his issues
He claims she’s not helping him through his issues so I told him we can find him a new doctor. He never takes the initiative to try
Your husband won't take responsibility for himself, obviously he's not going to care for a baby. This is the kind of man who would leave you if you were sick and depending on him to care for you. This is the kind of man who will cheat on you because he has found another woman who will make him the centre of her attention.
“Having kids is not a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship.”
Very good point.
It’s cheating there’s no other way around it. If those women replied sounds as though he would’ve reciprocated. What happens when one does reply? You deserve much better
Also no it’s not whatever he’s a guy, guys are into stuff like this. Many women have the bare minimum standard of their partner not having a secret account following hundreds of half naked women. I’m sure you wouldn’t teach your daughter to accept that
It's surprising that you didn't have a problem with your son dating FAMILY, but you're going to throw a fuss when his current wife isn't happy that he lied to her and went out with the woman (who is an ex regardless of what you think).
There aren't many husbands or wives that would be happy that their spouse lied to them and met up with an ex. Your son shouldn't have even dated a family member. But it is what it is and his wife should come before the ex. The fact that she's his cousin is irrelevant.
Your son lied and needs to do the work to make his marriage work. If he were truthful and discussed this with his wife prior, this wouldn't have happened.
If he's working construction and is in his thirties, he knows his work is cyclical. My cynical side wonders if he always has a girlfriend in the winter as a safety net, plus the age gap… Does he regularly ask his friends for money? You can also say No if he asks for more money.
I think there are two things here – is this guy financially responsible and can you date someone that makes less than you?
I don't think it's fair to expect a partner to bootstrap their way out of a jam (in a longer term relationship, there will be naked times) but you also don't want to tie yourself to someone who will mostly cause hot times (irresponsible with money, repeatedly quits jobs, spendtrift).
You'll have to figure out for yourself if this was a one-off or part of a bigger pattern. Is he really going to pay you back? If this relationship continues, are you going to be okay paying a larger portion of expenses? How would you split bills during the winter months?
Unless you date someone who makes the exact amount as you do, your future partner might be looking at you through the same lense that you are looking at your current partner if you earn less. Is that a fair way to be treated?
You tell her it's over an to return YOUR car in an hour or your calling the police
End of story
If she doesn't, you call the police. Simple as that
The issue here is that this person isn't your girlfriend but that's how you're describing the situation. Before making yourself crazy, you need to talk to her and establish exactly what this is.
Honey, please understand- him throwing shit while you're around to see it IS a threat to you. It's theatrics to scare. Punching walls and breaking shit is a threat to you and IT IS ABUSE. PLEASE understand this.
YOU are next. That's the signal he's giving you and what you are ignoring. He puts a hole in a wall? Next time it's your head. You keep not leaving him and passing this test to see what you'll put up with. Why would a stable person put up with a guy who did this? He's testing you. There is no way you can talk to an abuser to make them cured.
YOU ARE NEXT.
Wake up. Wake up right now and get away from this violent man.
Smh, I’m a guy and can attest to the fact that many of us are as dense as rocks. Hear me out a little. He probably saw you paving your way for the birthday with all the details and plans being made as if he didn’t fit into a particular spot to be able to help. (My Wife and I have been through this same type if situation several times) The bike was something personal that he was probably thinking as both personal and practical while not realizing it was probably not very “flashy”, but something he thought you might enjoy. The planning of the trips….I’m going out on a limb and going to guess that you both probably have random busy weekends between family things and work. I’d suggest pulling out a calendar and consider a few optional dates then bring it to him to work with him on it. – We are that dense. – Now if you simply ask him, because we can’t read minds, he may give you these or very similar reasons. Long advice short, couples have learning to do about each other in a marriage.
On the flip side, if he is a total pile of crap and general waste of air space, well then you have reason to be concerned. But seriously, again, we ARE that dense. Good luck OP.
One option would be to exchange the jobs you both do, and make it an even 50/50 split. It doesn't matter that he works more hours now. You supported his dream and now it's his turn to support yours. Make sure laundry is one of his, as it might shed light on him not doing his part.
I would make it clear this is the last chance saloon for him. Be ready to back this up OP. If you're not, then this won't work well for you and you will just be his house servant the rest of your life.
Another option is counseling, maybe a neutral 3rd party can help. However, this only works when both parties see there is an issue and want to resolve it. Right now, why would he want to resolve this when he benefits from it greatly? I don't think this would go well.
Also, you can't make him change. He has to want to change. The fact that he isn't just stepping up shows a lack of respect for you.
A partner wants to help out the other. They want both of you to thrive.
Personally, I would go with option three, I leave. You've talked to him enough times, nothing has changed and nothing will because he has zero consequences. He also has no respect for you, as is shown by his actions..or rather, inaction on helping out.