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Date: October 5, 2022
He moved on, he knows what he’s looking for, and you made it clear you’re not it (no offense). Take your chips and leave.
That’s such bullshit (I’m in Canada, no idea what it’s like here)
I can’t speak on the first part but I’ll move onto the second – I used to say similar things to my boyfriend when he brought up problems that I wasn’t able to solve right away, I had terrible anxiety. Eventually I realized I needed to become okay with it and that it was incredibly self centered of me to only focus on how the negative situation affected myself, but this took my boyfriend sitting me down and telling me “I feel like I’m not allowed to be upset with you, I can’t share my feelings, there will always be problems in a relationship that you cannot solve right away”. I eventually learned to tolerate it and am MUCH healthier with conflicts now. But it took an effort of some soul searching to do that, and if her mind is focused on healing from her trauma, she might not have the ability for that right now. I say be honest with her, and make sure to use “I feel” statements so she doesn’t immediately shut down and go on the defensive. That was huge for me too. Honestly my boyfriend was more patient than I deserved and I’m thankful everyday for that, but I wouldn’t have blamed him at all if he left, especially 10 months in.
You’re either lying or the baby isn’t yours. Timeline doesn’t add up
I give people what they deserve stop supporting cheaters
Love isn't enough. Especially if being with them makes you unhappy.
Please watch Jigsaw by Daniel Sloss on Netflix. He's a comedian and the last third or so of that show he is very funny and insightful about relationships.
Ever heard of love at first sight or clicking since day 1??? Sounds to me like your friends are the red flags, I'm going to assume that they have huge horror stories of exes right. Have you taken into consideration that you may have actually found one of those “good ones” as they say, and they're so envious of you that they're trying to keep you as miserable as they probably are. I say go out on a few more dates with him before you take any of their advice and determine for yourself if he's an actual “good one” or not. You say you have trust issues and I get that, but use your gut instincts based on your past experiences not to condemn others but for you to learn from them. Don't let others dictate what your happiness should be. Deep down you know this and you know your worth!
You can't be serious lmfao, “am I close minded”??…?
Sighhhhhhhh
When will they learn father in heaven…when??
I do find the age gap concerning. For me it is a big red flag.
However, I was merely answering the question the OP asked. I was not diving deeper into the age, family history, etc etc. I merely stated that all parties are adults and should handle their current situation as such.
Whatever the family history is. Whatever Nick may or may not have done was not mentioned in the original post. The question was whether he should be informed or blindsided.
As for first time relationships your absolutely right she may not have viewed it as being groomed and that it was merely a toxic relationship. I still stand by my previous statement that knowing she has a toxic history with Nick, that her and Levi should steer clear from any interactions with him especially if she is fearful of how he may react.
I don’t think it’s wise to put yourself in a situation with an individual who has caused you emotional or maybe even physical harm.
I'm kinda on your BFs side on this one. It's definitely weird and I understand why he doesn't want to deal with it over a family situation during the holidays. I think you should give the shoes to your boyfriend and let me deal with it however he thinks best. It's his brother after all.
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Text him and tell him that you wish him the best of luck in his new job and you wish him nothing but happiness in the future. Then block him on social media.
It is over. End it and take your power back.
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He has also been contemplating telling me since this summer but “timing” has been bad for him.
No, he's just a coward. He was waiting for the sweet spot time period where he knows you'd hesitate to break up with him because you've been together so long.
He claims nothing else has happened between them physically since then.
You don't believe that right? He has made these abroad trip plans since then and auddenly had to cancel them this month? Something worse happened and he's he's using the lesser incidents to justify why he can't hang out with her anymore.
I’m honestly shocked. I feel disgusted, so so stupid, and very alone.
I'm sorry, that's such a shit place to be in.
Do I end the relationship even though he's promised to unfriend her?
You kind of have to. He's been dishonest with you on multiple occasions and gaslit you into accepting a situation you knew was not okay. This was while your relationship was supposed to be stable and loving.
As someone who stayed, the main thing I think needs to be said is that you are never going to be the same person if you commit to this relationship.
I lost a lot of my early confidence and self respect when I stayed with my ex and he ended up repeat cheating. The one currency you have im a relationship is trust and he just dropped yours all over the floor. You don't come back from that, you just slowly get more and more resentful.
5 months passed, i still feel like im more attached even though i feel his love surely. trying to let go of toxic traits, and that in a relationship not everyone can feel the same way always, but it doesnt have to mean anything bad.
Probably because they’re trying to still be friends. It’s never a good idea.
That was a key lesson here…..thanks
It's slowly creeping up on me
A big part of adhd is object permanence. It’s embarrassing but I have a walk in closet full of clothes and I could genuinely only tell you about 5-10 items off the top of my head. But if walk over there and stand in the doorway looking at them, it would come back to me. Granted when I turn around it’s all gone again but still.
I bet he remembers what a great day it was and how beautiful you were, but when he remembers that day he’s remember you, not a dress lol.
Standing up for yourself was the right thing to do. You were angry (so what).
Her father represents toxic masculinity.
And your GF is very much a part of a dysfunctional cultural dynamic.
He failed the father in law test. She failed the life partner test.
You get to set your standards (not her or anyone live).
Put the trash in the garage and move on.
the fact that you reached your hand down his pants without asking him is really disturbing….
Yea he won’t be what you want him to be. He can an lose weight but he won’t grow taller. I thought maybe his style of weight was a issue and these things can change but if you like tall dark skin men, he will never be those guys.
Not gonna lie to you it seems like your settling because he is nice and great personality but you won’t be happy with him long term.
You can try hooking up with him and maybe great sex can make you feel something for him that you don’t right now but if we are being honest, he probably a great friend but you’ll never lust for him and that will be a disaster long term.
You both deserve better then that.
And finally your type is pretty much the majority of womens type nowadays. The guys you like physically are hot to keep in a monogamous relationship because they tend to have many options. I’d say broaden your horizon but if you like what you like, then there is no point wasting both his and your time.
My girl, get rid of him. You deserve so much better!
The longer you keep it up, w/o communicating to her, the ugliest it will get and both of you will get hurt. You need to get some guts and be honest with her. You are not protecting her, by not communicating how you feel, you are protecting yourself and avoiding the very tough conversation (and everything that we follow). It is going to be hot to talk to her, but the sooner the better.
Let's hope she's not a lawyer about to go down a dark path…
No I wouldn’t pay their rent because if he can’t manage money enough to online on unemployment and food stamps till he finds a new job then he needs to evaluate why he can’t afford rent. Unemployment is not there as free money to do your normal habits it’s there to cover the bare necessities.
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I (30F) have a dark secret that nearly no one knows—I am a former escort. I have been dating my coworker (34M)—let’s call him Stan—for three months and I’m falling in love and want to be honest about my past. But I am terrified of ending the first healthy relationship I’ve had in years. If this confession ruins us I will most likely need to find another job, and fast as we work very closely together.
I started escorting when I was 20, I was dating a man who was 17 years older than me and he taught me the business. I stopped working regularly after our relationship ended, almost two years. But I continued seeing a single customer once a month up until covid lockdown.
I waited to tell him because only one person in my life knows this about me, and I don’t want this information getting to my family as it would hurt them. But I respect him, and feel it should be his call if he wants to continue seeing me after knowing my past.
Should I tell him? If so, how?
TLDR – I’ve been dating a coworker for 3 months and am unsure if/how I should tell him I was an escort.
You are 100% correct true. THAT part I can't solve. Shallow people are shallow. But, if that's the person you WANT to stay married to, there's the price. Your mileage may vary.
Don't buy a house with a man you're not married to.
There are only two possibilities here.
1) He buys the house, it's in his name only, you pay a reasonable share of the bills for things like groceries.
2) You get married, probably with a prenup.
If it's too early in the relationship to consider #2, then you should be going for #1.
Break up and take the cat, or rehome it with someone who isn’t cruel.
A vet can help you figure out what is going on with kitty. It could be cat herpes, allergies, stress, cat OCD, or something else. All are treatable.
(Cat herpes is like the cat version of cold sores. But it causes them to get runny nose and eyes. Animals can have OCD, they will groom excessively, look up barber mice).
Just out of curiosity, from you or anyone who has the opinion you’re sharing in this thread, I swear I’m not coming for you I am just genuinely curious to hear your thoughts as an ex of someone with the condition….
What do you think should happen for people with this diagnosis? From my understanding, it is not their fault and it’s not curable. So as far as relationships go, what should that look like for them? Should people just generally refuse to be in relationships with them? I understand the risks and the reasons NOT to but it seems so sad to me.
K… she's weird But none of your concern anymore Focus on yourself and move forward to a healthier path
I thought he broke up with you because he thought you were cheating. Not that you broke it off with him.?
Yep, he’s going to try ANY tactic he can. That’s why you probably should involve the police. He’s talking about scorched earth, and whatever, he’s lost you, he knows it and he’s desperate.
It was only a month into the relationship so was he really expected to be loyal??
S/
You are walking on eggshells to not upset her, but she is upsetting you!!! Why is it OK for her to upset you but you can't upset her? You feel trapped in this situation but you aren't actually trapped. Your mom has you conditioned to think you are trapped but you have the power to get out. My parents are like this too so I get it, but you are not trapped.
It makes absolutely no sense to share a ring account with someone who does not live with you. Ring protect is only $10/month or $100/year and I don't think most people who only have doorbells even have ring protect. There is literally no purpose. The only purpose is so that your mom can track who comes and goes from your house.
I doubt there is an insane phone deal, but if there is and they need you for it then YOU have the leverage. Delete the app. What's the worst that can happen? You are an adult, you make the rules for your life.
I do worry that he's learning that being my boyfriend is a lot more hot than being my friend.
That may very well be the case. I commented elsewhere, but my first guess is that the fantasy isn’t living up to the reality.
But I wouldn’t totally dismiss the possibility of retroactive jealousy. Most couples fair better without knowing the details of their partners romantic pasts. And frankly, men typically have a much harder time with this than women. You yourself are experiencing it. By comparing how he was with other women to your relationship, you’re unintentionally using information he shared with you as a friend against him now. He could be doing the same thing. Recalling things you told him about past partners. Fearing he isn’t measuring up or you are different with him than how he imagined you were with them. That kind of thinking snowballs very quickly.