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Date: October 16, 2022
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My TikTok feed is all comedy. I don’t enjoy the dancing stuff, and I don’t need the soft core porn
It sucks, but this is very true. I’m dealing with something like this (minus the age gap).
My little brother (13 year difference so he sees me more like an extra parent – his words – and cares a lot about my opinion) is dating this horrible horrible girl who not only encourages him to drop out of school, but is just a bad person overall. I can’t tell him any of this though because he already is trying to move into her parents house with her. He knows that I’m not a fan, but that’s about it. I haven’t gone into specifics and I said I’m more concerned about school than anything else, which I am, but I’m also worried about her influence on him.
If I were to tell him everything, he’d stop talking to me, move out, and cut ties. It sucks, but I have to put up with it because otherwise I’ll lose him.
Um, it sounds like he used the word wrong and meant to say “Uncle Tom” or something. I don't understand why you would have guilt over hearing a word. It sounds like they were being kind of ignorant but the overall message was that they didn't think what she does is ok. It is really not good to have this kind of obsession with purity. I'm not in the business of diagnosing internet strangers with anxiety disorders rooted in obsession, but I think doing coke is not really helping you out here. Like read through your post and tell me that adding a stimulant to this person's psyche is a good idea.
I don’t know how to help you. I have a secure attachment style. I know and accept that people cheat and there’s nothing I can do about that but deal with it if it happens. I don’t spend any energy worrying about it.
I am still friends with exes I dated 20+ years ago. I don’t “delete” people from my life for no good reason. I don’t burn photos, delete them, delete contacts, block, whatever—I just don’t. It doesn’t mean that I’m interested in any of my exes though. Same with my partner. Hell, we have to be around his ex wife a lot due to his kiddo.
I dunno. I saw you mention in another comment that you two want to try poly and I just don’t think you’re wired for that. You’re way too insecure and jealous and in your head making up worst case scenarios.
Doing open or poly takes varsity level trust and communication and you have neither going for you at this time in this relationship. You’re setting up tests and hand wringing.