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mssburbuja chat
Date: October 19, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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Youre a mother. Okay. I assume you love your children. If you keep this child WHILE staying/wanting to stay with this man, then you failed as a mother. Make sure you imagine him choking your child, causing them distress, most likely ptsd, depression. Now see what kind of mother you would be if youd stay with this man. Im not saying abort or dont, but if yiu stay with this man, if you keep this man in your life, you also keep him in the life of your children (even if theyre not biologically his). And you're teaching your children that its okay to stay with a man such as yours.
Your sister isn’t a jerk, she’s reached her limit with your behaviour and is putting in healthy boundaries which sounds like a very wise choice.
There're different levels.. she uses the word correctly
My two cents? This isn’t about her. You’re in a funk. Sounds like you’re just going through a low time and we can start thinking it’s because of this or that and fixating. I think you’re much better off without someone like her. Maybe ponder if it isn’t her, what else has you down? You did not fuck up, btw. She did. ❤️
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Well good luck. I'm too old to deal either petty nonsense and gossip
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What does your wife say when you ask her Why she has changed in this way?
Two of you need to go to a couples counselor and figure out this issue, because you are clearly heading for divorce.
It’s not unlikely that your wife wants to have a baby of her own, and resents your daughter for that reason. It sounds to me like she’s being incredibly immature about it though especially if she hasn’t brought this issue up to you verbally.
Don’t not buy your daughter presents or not spend time with her simply because you’re afraid of what your wife will say. She’s still your daughter.
Go to couples counseling. The sooner the better.
As a fat woman (240lbs and 5ft4) – thank you! This comment is great.
Another thing that I thought about when reading the initial post is, “unhealthiness”.
Gaining weight isn't always due to being, “unhealthy”. A lot of people don't realise that, as you approach your mid 20's to 30's, you go through something similar to a Second Puberty. This includes a natural weight gain. Hell, at 25, my feet grew a whole 1.5 sizes – I couldn't believe it! (Oh no, new shoes, how AWFUL).
Also: fatness doesn't equate to healthiness. Cardiac health does – it doesn't sound like OP is a doctor, so he isn't really qualified to establish if she's healthy or not. I suffered from bulemia, binge eating disorder, and anorexia on-and-off for years, and only started really focusing on my recovery in the middle of the pandemic. I'm around the same weight as when I started that journey, but I feel a darn sight healthier now than I did back then.
furthermore, it doesn't sound like she ever really went to the gym with him anyways, and he's only encouraging her now because he doesn't like the changes in her body.
I agree with the conclusion you came to OP: he doesn't want a “fat” girlfriend, and it looks like she isn't interested in any changes, which is more than fine (whether it's a willful disinterest or fatphobic denial is neither here nor there).
No I am not okay with that. Thank you so much, everyone is making me think and answer hard questions. I need it.
I super hate gyms, but that certainly might be something to try! Thank you.
It definitely is more logical to try and lie about being less sober after a poor reaction than it is to lie about being more drunk in a dangerous situation, so I can absolutely understand where your partner is coming from. He will see it as dangerous (potentially life threatening) and that you lied to get out of it.
This may be his deal breaker.
Yeah, you never know…. maybe he's just afraid to tell you what's really on his mind.
I've seen guys being afraid of impregnating their partner and holding off sex for that reason. Maybe they don't trust the birth-control or aren't well educated about it.
Idk to me doesnt sound like he is straight up saying “oh you cheating ho test that baby!” it sounds like his friends gave him anecdotes and he started to get scared. I mean really if he truly believe she cheated it wouldnt be just a “Hey my friends all got burned by their women and I would like to determine paternity so I can have peace of mind”. It would be let me see your phone, let me go through your purse/car, let me follow you for a few days, etc etc list of insecure stuff truly distrustful people do. If OP mentioned conversations with these elements sure he would just be some insecure asshole but simply wanting to establish paternity does not a toxic relationship make.
Get the test done. Make sure you take him to the appointment and make sure he understands that he's now caused a rift in trust with someone who's about to be poked and prodded for labor and post partum.
And I'd seriously consider whether or not you want him in the delivery room in a few weeks. You don't have time for shenanigans while birthing, healing, and keeping a baby alive.
If this is true, he just doesn’t want to be with you and is using it as an excuse. Three months is nothing in the grand scheme of spending your life with someone. I’d cut your losses because he sounds like he doesn’t care about you or your success at all.
You're not responsible for her mental health (and you're not qualified to deal with it.) And it's crappy to keep someone in a relationship that isn't what they think it is. She'll be fine.
Troll AI now?
My best friend had a bachelorette party (sort of. I went to her place, we drank wine, watched bad horror movies and played board games. It was what she wanted) her hubby didn't want to do anything. So he went and spent the night with his folks.
If he's happy doing nothing but chilling with the cat, then trust him and go enjoy your trip.
Or it could’ve been $500k. Point is, we don’t know and they all agreed to it. Idk where they are, but AP could’ve filed for child support if she wasn’t satisfied with that.
You should leave. You are much younger than her and it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that you’ll be able to find a partner who actually wants to have kids with you when you’re ready.
I’ve gone back and forth on if I should even say anything, but I think she truly showed you who she is. Probably unpopular opinion…..but she’s a horrible person for what she did. Not only did she manipulate you by saying she wanted kids, she actually got pregnant on purpose and chose to abort. Why didn’t she just take birth control and lie about it? It’s bad, but not nearly as bad as what she did.
I’m pro choice and that situation is seriously messed up.
If the major issue is you pair being together then see what your partner would say to him stepping back and you being owner. If he wouldn't step back for you then he doesn't see the relationship as long term.
I’m sorry I do t think he’s seeing the relationship the same way you are, he’s not your bf
Fuck yeah
33 weeks pregnant, have extra issues with it that make me very frail as is. I voiced this to ex a few times. If I had had the strength for physical removal I would have…
I don't know why so many peoples focus on the apartment or the car when there is a clearly a bigger problem under it.
He was ready to break up instead of being honest and talk about it and they are supposed to marry each other. That's such a massive red flag … if one day her ex want him back, he will throw you away OP.
You ARE being exploited.
Leave her
Thank you so much I really appreciate such a detailed response that was really a helpful comment…I might take you up on the dm if you don’t mind! Thanks for your kindness
You can respect beliefs that you don't share. The issue is that he's not putting any effort into respecting hers.
That’s controlling. You can’t have it both ways. He has to trust you. Not others. And if he doesn’t trust you to go out with friends why be with him? This just screams red flags.
I think it's this right here. Maybe she did something she's not proud of and now needs to protect that?
If she has to hide it from her husband then she probably did something that is divorce worthy.
Psycho
Say no
He is a unstable weirdo with poor excuses. It’s time to move on to someone better.
How do so many people find themselves married to douchebags?
Leave him. He’s demanding forgiveness for his fuck up and threatening to leave you if you don’t. Seriously? Have you no respect for yourself?
OP is male.
Don't bring it up again. If you are that concerned, get a vasectomy. Yes I read the post. In case this doesnt' work out you can have kids with someone else. Guess what she can have babies until her late 40's. So why is it her that needs to have her tubes tied?
He spends time alone doing something that he’s passionate about for 1-2 hours while his family SLEEPS. Do you lack comprehension skills?
Four years? Really?
I wonder how your daughter would feel if her husband missed the birth of their first child?
She was put on a feeding tube, temporarily, that went directly into her small bowel. She gained 10 lbs in a week. For whatever reason, the doctors wouldn’t put I a more permanent J-tube, which would have helped immensely
Nah. He sees you as an ATM.
Is this the first time she's done something like this? If so I'd let it go. It's her sister whom she doesn't see much .. you can tell her you're bummed you didn't get to hang but I wouldn't over think it
No he is right, women are incapable of making good financial decisions.
The overall system is better, but the school he was going to and the schools around him were not good and the school he attends now is one of the top-ranked private schools in the country & would make it easier for him to get into a top college.
The overall system is better, but the school he was going to and the schools around him were not good and the school he attends now is one of the top-ranked private schools in the country & would make it easier for him to get into a top college.
He can't read your mind, just tell him how you're feeling.
Why don’t you all go camping together, not on your designated solo trip weekend? Seems like both could happen, or even other adventures too.
Quality time is great, but the amount of time is important too, especially in a serious relationship. A key aspect of LTR is being able to be together while doing nothing in particular, basically be boring together. Like the saying says taxes and laundry together
I'm leaning towards manipulation if he doesn't act like this around his friends and family. For me at least that's the determining factor. I feel like if he gets it to the point they will never go and do anything if he gets “injured” prior, then she will try to pick up all the work so he doesn't get hurt.
Personally I feel like this is a lot for her to deal with at this young of an age. Poor girl sounds like she's on the road to caregiver burnout.
He’s not verbally abusive. I think he was just frustrated and wanted to say something shocking and upsetting to redirect the conversation. Outside of our relationship, he is the sweetest, kindest man alive. The bad was only a product of him being with me.
And we did break up. We still had big issues after all of this, and I couldn’t let him stay with someone who cheated on him, so I broke it off.
I trusted my wife. That's why she went on the trips. Someone is always trustworthy until they aren't.
I would be honest with him.
“It's really hurtful that you blew me off last-minute when I specifically requested time off work for our plans. It makes me feel like I'm not a priority to you.”
Then you can have a conversation about it. It's fine that things come up, but there were compromises to be made here, like seeing you before or after his sister or bringing you along. Cancelling last-minute is not cool unless it's an emergency. Do you feel that he makes time for you and is attentive and thoughtful in general? If so, I would express how this made you feel and the fact that you would prefer it didn't happen again. If not, I would consider whether you're getting your needs met in this relationship.
Honestly it'll just trigger her. Don't do that. Save it and move on. As someone who had a bf with a bm who does this whenever she's upset please don't do it. It never ends well.
Not sure how this would be any different than her making out with a different guy, just to see whether or not she likes it more than making out with you.
That’s called cheating.
Wow you’re bitter. Yeah that can happen but maybe it might work out and they end up getting married, you don’t know that
OP this is called stonewalling and it's actually a form of emotional abuse.
Like I said I don't think it's that deep, I am 90% sure it's just because having that 20 second exchange is comforting, but it's like shes hitting the pain button every 5 minutes you know? Like there's no underlying issue, I'm just bad at complaining politely
Thank you! You are completely right!